Woke up with an aching body and a wry smile on my face. Secretly happy with life, with the things going the way they are, and the way things will eventually turn out. Give me some time to adjust...I thought...I've been missing the presence of God on Sundays twice in a row since. I'm juz feeling too tired to wake up at 7 a.m., trudge off to church and rush off to the beach. I used to be able to rush here, there and everywhere. Particularly in my undergrad days, schedule was tight and more tight. I lived on an adrenalin rush and a packed schedule, without which energy could not flow. Now...i wish life to be simpler, slower and I long to catch the sunsets. Have I aged? Have I become jaded and seared with life events or is it that I've readjusted my priorities and decided on what is really important and not. I believe in the latter as I know I'm still showing signs of excitement and joy at the simplest things. Read this article in The Sunday Times on Wu Qing Kang, a journalist with LianHeZaobao for more than a decade long. He's published 9 books, travelled to 60 countries, penned many songs, founded the 'xinyao' movement and blah blah...He claims he's a jaded pessimist, not really happy neither is he unhappy. He says that is the trait of a perfectionist. That is absolutely true!!! Perfectionism is the illegitimate son of Success and they never quite celebrate together, even though it could be a good companion on the journey. However, Perfectionism should not be an attitude assumed with pride, as this man has. It portrays a person as having an unsatiable appetite, a high achiever and of amazing intelligence. You almost wonder what exactly drives this person? Yet he said it all....he's not a happy person!! Perfectionism creates a byproduct of unhappiness and a crave for more...and it never ends! This results in an unhealthy taste for success as it is out to prove to people that he is confident, capable and successful. He's doing it to prove himself, in other words, he's doing it for others. He'll never be happy until he does things for himself. I wish for him joy and peace, having the knowing that God loves him, and is perfectly happy with him whether or not he is a success. Nothing is more precious knowing love, joy and peace so intimately, the assurance that the love of God is not directly or even correlated to one's performace, or lack of. His love is a 'despite of' and 'in spite of' giving. I endeavour to crave for success because I want to transcend my limitations, because I want to manifest God's anointing and giftings. I want to give glory to Him for empowering me. I crave for Excellence because that is whom I'm serving. Indeed, I have nothing to prove, no one to impress. I strive into rest...I work hard to be happy, whether or not I've written 9 books, travelled to 60 countries, drive a sportscar or have luncheons with Faye Wong. I pity those who derive pride and confidence in the car they drive, worse still, bought by their rich fathers (& I have many ARROGANT friends like that without which they are empty shells), ladies who derive acceptance and attention from men by the hours spent in front of the mirror dolling their faces. All these are very superficial...and seek to cover their hurts and inadequacies. Underneath, they are desperate to prove something, they are not at peace and they are insecure. People are real and let's shake off all these hypocritical dresses and see people as they are, not what they own.