Smiley Flower...how it brightens up the Remains of the Day for me. Indeed, the remains of the day are the most beautiful. I had juz received a funky flower from my closest gal buddy, actually a stuffed toy flower with a very smiley face. It's so adorable and brightening, I can't help forgetting how horrible a day it has been till the flower arrived via super express courier. *Touched* The day had begun horribly for me with the 'No train services between Boon Lay and Clementi' sign taking dominion of my life. I was suddenly thrown into disarray and disorganization. I know not how else I can get to work apart from using the trains considering the long distance involved. Hence, in short, I travelled 2 long hrs (I'm still in Singapore, mind you!) to nowhere and finally reaching my office 1 hour late. My mood can't be worse. When thousands of commuters in human-infested Jurong area are stranded from the train services, guess what happens to the cab & bus services? That aside, I finally ran out of luck with wearing my all-too-obvious beach slippers in the office. I had my HR DIRECTOR warn me as gently as she can on NOT wearing slippers to work. I felt like protesting but refrained from fighting a losing battle, lost battle rather. I was only on my way to seeing the lawyers about some Broadcast rights issues. She could have conveniently sued me with her lawyers there and then. aha! Ok, I'll dress up tomorrow, I promise myself. I've also been feeling weak this whole week, spiritually, mentally & physically. It happens when I'm not soaked in the presence of God on Sundays. The difference is so tremendous that I cannot begin to explain. It does so much for u. I was at the gym again today during lunch feeling feeble and unmotivated. I juz forced myself to do some forearm, abs, triceps, calf and ankle exercises. It's amazing how work can sometimes take out the sensitivity in a person. Sometimes, I lose touch with myself when I'm buried with and under work. I don't know what to write in this journal. I cannot feel pain, love, awe and even hurt. Work sometimes numbs you. I guess that is why companies came up with this Leave system where you go away about 14 days a year on paid leave, you pay for a trip in an attempt to find yourself back, put your soul and spirit back into your physical shell, feel the pain, love, awe and hurt all over again...come back into the office and the next cycle begins. It reminds me of this process of toxification and detoxification. Sometimes the damage is so deep that the remains of the day (or is it night) becomes literally, remains. They are like ashes, proof of our mourning to the loss of our individual freedom. We literally give of our lives to the companies we work for. We subject ourselves to rules and more rules, hierarchy, instructions. Dimensions which were originally intended to stretch our potential now most limit us. Whatever you do, define your own dimensions within the confines of law, justice and love. Sounds paradoxical? Grace does not liberate you to do as you please. Grace liberates you to do BECAUSE you know God loves you. Grace is the most liberating DIMENSION of Love and freedom.