Saturday's training: We had 5 mini races with varying wind conditions. Wind was blowing SW still and in the first 2 races, wind was light at about 5 -8 knots. In my practice, I realised that the anti-skid on my board was really wearing off. I could not rail my board at a good enough angle to be able to point. I decided to go back to shore to get my booties. I went out again, confident that I should be able to point well again but boy, was I wrong. Sighz, I did really badly in the first 2 races, coming in right at the back with no hope of redemption. Yup, I was really upset!!! Nothing could descibe my disappointment. Gusty light winds where u cannot plane nor maintain a good sheeted in, covered sail. I was constantly moving my body around, searching for a good position to stand, a good position to place my hands and feet. I juz could not find anything. Hence it shifted my focus on tactics to juz my body stance. That should never be the case when you are racing. Every move should be automatic and instinctive so you could devote your 100% attention to your tactics and wind-reading. That is why sailors spend hour after hour on the sea trying to perfect their techniques. I lost to my fellow lady rival in these 2 races for a lack of physical fitness in pumping. I juz could not muster any strength to pump the course. %^^$#@ Where did the benefits of my weekday trainings go to? Thank God the wind slowly picked up to around 12 knots where we were juz about able to plane comfortably on the upwind (but not on downwind unless u pump)...ahahaha...yes! I staged a comeback to win my rival in the next 2 races and occasionally packing myself in the boys pack. As the wind gets stronger, my position is increasingly farther behind the boys. Even though my board speed was relatively good compared to my rival who had a crouched stance, totally not beneficial to board speed. It is all the more important to straighten out your legs on the foot straps, hiking yourself on the harness right on the edge of the board. Straighten your arms and lean as far as you can, absorbing the crashing of the waves with your knees and ankles tt are already strapped to the edge of the board. Rail your board to 30 degrees or so angle so your board can cut the waves. Yes, it hurts your ankles a great deal to be hyperextended at such an abnormal angle. That is why a sailor should include ankle ex daily or frequently. Joints are small, important and yet susceptible to injuries. They are also more likely to be ignored. In the 3rd & 4th races, I made sure I had good board speed to make up for my lack of alertness in my starts. I was almost always late for the starts and not taking transits. I confess! Plus, I did not think a lot about tactics or reading the wind shifts etc...I literally followed coach q and found myself focusing on board speed and maintaining a good body stance. Lack of water time...sighz...If I had enough water time to fine tune my techniques, I will be able to focus on tactics. Reaction to gusts and lulls are a big problem for me. I juz cannot maintain the rail and speed with a gust/lull coming. Several factors r responsible for this. Fitness: If my fitness and strength are tip top, I will be able to maintain my planing stance and be mentally alert enough to feel out for gusts/lulls. Fatigue makes me too tired mentally to feel out esp when I'm abt to crumble under when the lull comes or be catapulted when the gust hits. Water time & experiece: Can increase my reaction time and I should be able to act b4 i react. By the 5th race, somebody not training with the National team was sailing the course with us and knocked me down into the water. He was on starboard and I was on port and I did not give way. Reason being he should not be in our course at all and we are having races. Pissed as I was, I caught up with the remaining of the upwind leg and after the second upwind, I was on par with my rival. I dropped my sail and there goes my win...I was too tired to fight for it. However, I was satisfied, very satisfied. I know how hard I have to work to fight for my SEA Games berth and how far I was from there. It's achievable. I juz lack the physical fitness and sailing fitness that can only come with water time and time spent in physical training. What I can do during lunch-time on weekdays are apparently insufficient. Another note...Life is still not perfect as much as we like it to be. We may truly believe that wonderful people exist and life is full of love and joy. A lot of times, it is not. People are starving in developing countries, women are being raped, children are forced to be slaves, men killed in senseless wars, students engaging in sexual and violent activities in school and outside school. Life is a horrible sight. It boggles me many times how people can get so cruel and illogical, selfish and violent. I refuse to believe it. I wondered about how some of my friends can marry men who show abusive and violent character traits. I get worried for them. What if they get abused later, or slapped or insulted in their friends' presence? I also read about how some men pass on Aids/HIV to their wives from their sexual activities with prostitutes. These, are totally senseless and selfish to the greatest degreee. As much as it is appalling in nature and unbelievable in logic, they are real. It takes the child in us to still believe that life is wonderful coz it really is. Adopt a childlike attitude, not childish....see the newness in old things, the excitement in a daily sunset...we cannot change reality, but we can change the way we SEE reality. Sometimes, people may not believe in you. Other times, some people may think that we won't amount to anything or go anywhere. Jesus died for no fool! Jesus hung on the cross in excruciating pain to redeem champions. Fools say in their hearts 'there is no God'. We overcome the odds not to prove something. I've decided long ago that I have nothing to prove, no one to impress. The overcomer overcomes to better himself and to show others that they are able, if they believe.