By now, the key organization hates me...ahaha...for having not followed PROPER PROCEDURES, taking matters into my own hands, and propagating this issue beyond s'pore (only UK, ISR, JPN, IND & HK only wat...ahaha). I was sorry to get some guys into trouble as it was all my own hyper-enthusiasm at fault. Some people are just their usual paranoid, control freak selves which perceived my actions as another of the certain-sailor's saga. All I wanted was to fight for the ladies class & get it back by any/all means. After that, I also got some nasty comments from a couple of sailors to say I claimed credit and staked my berth in SEA Games. I had no qualms about knuckling down on those hard, gently as I possibly can! I am so glad that this struggle came abt coz more of His glory is manifested. To be one of the 2 classes accepted among 39 appeals, i think it's a miracle and MUCH MORE. It's abt 5% winning chance. I was glad to have gone thru' this battle as I surprised myself with the hunger that I never knew I ever had inside. I had answered every single question that could possibly confront an athlete...why i'm doing this, for wat, for who...wat if's...the answers I hope would be strong enuf to see me thru' the toughest times. To properly put this, it's certainly a refnining fire for me...to burn off impurities, sieve every fear, obstacle and disbelief in my spirit. It has left me stronger, focused and all-ready to pounce on anything that would challenge my God. My spirit and mind has taken a higher dimension of faith and intimacy with JESUS... in the same token, I feel that I cannot compromise a non-believer for a partner as the level of understanding is only at the tip of the iceberg. Coach's training is tough!!! He had to give me a 30% discount as I almost vomitted and felt faint after doing 2 sets. One of the horrible ex includes hanging on a pull-up bar for 2 mins, at least 3 sets. It's to make yr forearms BURN literally (simulate pumping intensity in races). They did BURN... i would slip down several times, when my fingers & fingertips could not hold on anymore, tightening every single muscle I can find on my shoulders & back....to have to jump back up again to finish the 2 min. After that, I felt like the veins were all gonna burst or go short-circuit. Of coz, my much-hated fartleks were part of it...thank God it wasn't a great problem as I had been a middle-distance runner for many years. After I forced myself to gobble down my lunch, we went out for water trainings in good winds. With storms impending, and gusts settling to more constant puffs, we enjoyed the chops, puffs of gusts and seeing so many sails out in the sea. It's always good to have sailors in addition to the National Team sailors, which is the case most of the time. We had good gusts that hit me and man, when you feel like giving up the sport, one good feeling can bring you back with full passion. The speed and adrenalin-rush was more than resuscitating. The chops added in to the element of control and height. I had to pull my downhaul tight as the stronger gusts force me to open up my sail to depower. Coach sailed with us in the good winds and demonstrated a jump when he successfully caught a wave and cut off the lip nicely Ooooh...I went...trying hard to scream like bimbos do. Then he did several more lay-downs NEAR successfully. Scream I did...ahahaha...it means so much to have a higher standard to follow...which explains why HK, Japan and many other countries could do well. We had to do sausage courses and for the first 2 races, I was still desperately trying to recover from the tremendous fatigue I sustained since morning. I sailed in last, cruising through in pain. Then voila, in the 3rd and second last race, I zipped past everyone to come in 1st overall in the fleet. aha!! One of my rare hat-tricks again and Coach gave me a thumbs-up as he finished 3 places behind me. I had happened to catch a good start, followed all the wind shifts, sailed in all the gusts and had perfect board speed. At one point, Jon and I were neck to neck and he was upwind of me and following me less than half a metre away...and I maintained my angle, kept my speed and eventually sped off ahead of him, pulling away more and more. Somehow, he lost his angle and reached the upwind mark some 5 board-lengths away from me. Fluke you can call it...but I've tasted winning races and I'm addicted to this taste. The last race saw the storms coming and winds shifting drastically. We headed back to the club to have another short session of planing...there, I tested my upwind planing speeds and stance. Felt really good...TILL I woke up this morning to a totally aching body and saturated brain. Boy, am I still walking with a wobble and a twist...at 7 p.m. we are going to have a reunion dinner with most sailors in the windsurfing team, to play family to Coach Q. Can't wait to be there...to say we are not united is a lie...Happy Lunar New Year, everyone!!!

17 Jan 2001 THE STAR Malaysian Newspapers: SEA Games No more appeals as KL SEA Games panel shut the doors KUALA LUMPUR: Two additional events--the women's mistral one boardsailing, lightweight, in yachting and the women's up to 69kg category in weightlifting--have been included to the Kuala Lumpur SEA Games' programme. They were included in the Games following appeals made by Indonesia and Myanmar at the SEA Games Federation (SGF) meeting last Saturday. The addition of the two events takes the number of gold medals at stake in the 32-sport Games, which will be held from Sept 8-17, to 390. Youth and Sports Minister Datuk Hishammuddin Hussein said that they would not entertain requests for any more events. "This is final. There is no room for the inclusion of further events in the Games,'' said Hishammuddin after the SEA Games organising committee's board meeting at his office yesterday. He added that the sports associations had major roles to play in ensuring the success and smooth-running of the Games. "We need the assistance of all parties concerned, including sports associations, to make the Games a successful one,'' said Hishammuddin. Meanwhile, a decision will be made next week on the venue of the shooting competitions. The two venues shortlisted are the Subang Shooting Range and the Langkawi International Shooting Range.

Ask me if God is real in my life & I'll say "Check out the News below" & tell me if God doesn't open the Red Sea today?!!!!! A miracle of miracles....a blessing of blessings & grace of all grace! I'm so overwhelmed! Just as He was telling me the night before "Stand still and see the salvation of God" and that "Without faith it is impossible to please God" I stood firmly on the grace ground, believing hard & resting hard on His promise. It came to pass, just as He told me! This is my God...who never wavers and changes!!! Only two extra events for KL SEA Games KUALA LUMPUR - The decision of the South-east Asia Games organising committee yesterday to include only two additional medal events in this year's SEA Games has brought a host of reactions. Some were happy, some were sad and some were nonchalant about the decision. According to Bernama, only two events out of the 39 requested - one each in yachting and weightlifting - were approved for inclusion in the Kuala Lumpur Games. The two events are the women's Mistral One boardsailing (yachting) and women's weightlifting (up to 69kg). An elated Low Teo Ping, SingaporeSailing president, said: 'We have a couple of women sailors, Toh Lee Ching and Rachel Ng, training full-time with the hope that there would be a women's category. 'Now, that has come true and we are very happy. 'With our Chinese coach Qian Hong on board with us, we have good chances for medals. It's only a question of colour. 'Hopefully, when it's nearer the date, we can tell you the colour of the medal.' In contrast, the Singapore Bodybuilders' Federation, which had been eager and ready to send athletes to compete for eight gold medals, was disappointed that the sport's appeal was turned down. The weightlifting fraternity, on the other hand, was nonchalant about the inclusion of an additional medal event. Said Tom Liaw, pro tem president of the Singapore Weightlifting Federation: 'We have not decided on sending any women lifters, so it does not really affect us. 'Anyway, the lifters have to be prepared and ready to compete at the SEA Games level, otherwise it would be pointless to send them there.' Youth and Sports Minister Datuk Hishammuddin Tun Hussein, chairman of the organising committee, said: 'We approved only these two events after considering the time constraints. 'Today's decision is final.' He added that the decision was taken after considering various factors such as the Malaysian athletes' chances of winning medals, as well as organising costs and preparation. He said: 'As it is rather late, I think our decision to accept only two additional events is already fair to all.' But try telling that to Paul Chua, president of the SBBF. He said yesterday: 'I'm disappointed. 'I believe Singapore has lost a chance to win a few gold medals, because we have been winning things in the region. 'But the Singapore National Olympic Council did its best and we are not going to cry over it. 'We are looking at better horizons such as the Asian Games next year, which is our main target.' With the inclusion of the two events, the Kuala Lumpur SEA Games from Sept 8-17 will have 390 events in 32 sports.

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So much has happened! My life has been thrown a curve and set me on a roller-coaster high and low all at the same moment. I must have experienced the widest myriad of emotions in these few days as good and bad news hit me right in the face in continuity. On Monday morning, I received a call from my coach that the latest Notice of Race fax for the 2001 SEA Games has excluded the Ladies category from the Sailing classes. My heart skipped a beat and I experienced a numbness which put me into instant denial of factual information. However, I refused to receive that as final and set about on a short intense journey of appeal. I did my homework and straightaway rallied all the Important people in the International Olympic Council to lend a voice to this thoroughly sexual discriminating tragedy. This inclusion of the Ladies class has always been a see-saw discussion due to several factors: 1) Malaysia, does not have any lady windsurfers hence does not want to include a category they cannot win a medal in. 2) Malaysia, being a Muslim state, does not put equality on Ladies events. Many of the sports categories do not have ladies categories only until recently when under foreign attack. Up to 2-3 mths ago, it was a tentative arrangement that there will be a Mistral Men's (open) and Mistral Ladies in the 2001 SEA Games like the Olympics. However, the latest fax we received yesterday indicated Mistral Lightweight (Open) and Heavyweight (Open). Never before in SEA Games history do we have such weird combinations and not to mention the exclusion of the Ladies category. We always had the 5 categories Mistral Men's Lightweight, Heavyweight, Men's Raceboard Lightweight and Heavyweight and Ladies for the last 3-4 SEA Games. However, this time, we only have 2 categories and the Olympic Games Ladies category is not included! Of course, this runs contrary to what Olympic windsurfing has been promoting. I remember clearly on the 31 Dec 2000 afternoon at the National Sailing Center in Singapore that Lee Lai Shan was telling me that any event held under the International Olympic Council umbrella must include as a basic, the Olympic Games categories (in this case, Men's & Ladies). I've checked the IOC website and saw that 2001 SEA Games is organised as a IOC & ISAF event (http://www.ioc.org.my). Lee Lai Shan was telling me should this situation happen, I can write to IOC and complain. I'm angry that the MISTRAL ladies class is considered NOT important and not worthy to be in such a major Games. The last thing I want to accept is this fact! It is a major insult to all ladies windsurfers who have committed themselves to such a cause only to find themselves in a Sexual Discriminatory discussion. I can't help but see this form of sexual discrimination as an issue larger than just a category issue. The best part of this issue is that ALL other sailing classes (Optimist, Laser, 420, 470) all have Ladies classes except for MISTRAL. I don't understand why. They even had the 420 Ladies & Laser Radial for Ladies which were not even in the Olympic Games!! I don't see why MISTRAL WOMEN can be less important than the Laser Radial and 420. I have quit my job in the hope that I can train full-time for Asian races and later, European races, but if countries (especially Muslim countries) are excluding Ladies, what can I fight for? I wrote emails to Rory Ramsden, Head of IMCO International, Aaron Botzer (Olympics International Jury), Lee Lai Shan, and many other key people all over the world. I appealed to them to rally their support for SEA Ladies windsurfers. While I've done all I possibly could in my limited capacity, I sought God for words of comfort and miracles. All my life God has always been faithful and showing Himself to be more than that recently. When there was initially not yet a Ladies class, He gave me a word "The hearts of kings are in His Hands, HE turns it wherever He wishes." He also taught me to "Hold fast to the confession of your faith". I hung on to that word and confessed & believed hard enough to see it coming to pass. The next notice came with the inclusion of the Ladies class. I was more than elated. I was filled with an overflowing revelation of God's grace and mercy, love and power. Then the next challenge came when I came to know that my buddy was going full-time. I was shattered as it seems now that I could lose the fight to something as irrelevant as 'unpaid leave'. I cried out to God! HE heard me and gave me another Word which today, I saw it come to pass yet again!! He told me that just as He multiplied the 5 loaves and 2 fishes, He has the power to MULTIPLY the little training I have. Trust Him and it'll manifest. Today, I can testify that it has come to pass. After 2 months of weekend training (twice a week) while my buddy does full-time training 6 days a week, my results are on par with her. I lost Singapore Open to her by a sheer one point. I lost Tudor International to her even though we had the same points but it was on a countback default that she gained the edge. Coach however reassured me that our standards are on the same level and if I train full-time, I would be able to improve at a much faster rate. Today, I'm standing here seeing yet another miracle. He showed me in the BIBLE last night as I came to Him in faith and desperation. He showed me Exodus 18 "Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord." My bookmark dropped out from my Kenneth Copeland daily devotions book which shouted the verse from Psalm 40: "Be still and know that I am God" I broke down in tears!! Surely, I feel like I'm on the edge of the Red Sea and the Egyptian armies are hot on my heels. I have nowhere to go and no way of escape. I've quit my job and have no idea that I have to face this ultimatum. Yet I know that since I've done everything possible within my means, I'm gonna be still and know that He is God and He will work miracles now. I just need to stand still and keep hanging on strong to the confession of my faith. This morning when I stepped into my office, I received emails from Rory Ramsden to the President of Singapore National Olympic Council, Malaysian Yachting Association President, and many other key people involved in this issue. He requested for a redress in this most regrettable issue which the International Olympic Council disapproves since they have been promoting women's sports to be included in the Olympics. I cried as I read through the mail. I could see God's fingerprints all over the place. i know deep in my heart that all will be well...If God be for me, who can be against me?

Singapore Open Windsurfing Championships 2001!!!! This must be the highlight of the race season with Lee Lai Shan (1996 Atlanta Olympic Gold medallist) gracing the event and eventually winning it. Held over freaky wind conditions and super-strong currents, the top sailors are still the top sailors as the results remain predictable. I've concluded that whatever the wind condition, however heavy the sailor is, results still boil down to the sailor, the sailor, the sailor. The Men's category was won by SEA Games Gold medallist (many times) Phanuthat Ruamsap, followed by Ho Chi Ho and Oka Sulaksana. The Women's class was dominated by the Olympic sailors Lee Lai Shan (5th in Sydney Olympics) who did not have a close rival apart from Masako Imai (Japan-10th in Sydney Olympics) and Yasuko Kosuge (Japan). Personally, it was a win-lose battle and love-hate sentiment. I was leading the Local Ladies up till the very last (7th) race where I lost the lead by one point. Thereafter, I waited hopefully on the 5th day of race, planning to launch a counter-attack with a strategic game plan and renewed energy. The wind did not come and there was not a single race held that day. I can't quite describe the pain...i was sorta on the verge of relief and helplessness. I had to search within myself to find a reason to make up for the sense of illogical loss. I decided that that day's chat with San san was worth the local win. She selflessly imparted precious attitude pointers, strategy advice and directional encouragement. She holds such a humility totally undeserved of an Olympic Champion. For the first time, I had a pro sailor asking me more questions than I asking them. In the process, I shared with her my dreams, goals and hopes in sheer honesty and deep sincerity. Her words had an impact enough to send in my resignation letter the first day I came in to work. Amazing?! For someone who's been there, done it and achieved it, this first step I'm taking is truly the baby step to bigger things. She told me that her goal was not just a personal ambition but rather, a reflection of a larger ambition for her country. She wants Hong Kongers to know that sports can be a career and that Asian windsurfers can make it in the world levels. It is time that we dare to step out and do what we truly believe in. Even if it means going against what society thinks, even if it means defying your logic and that trained system of decision-making. Dare yourself to live your dream because we hold responsible at the end of our lives our fulfilment level. If you dare to accept those 'what-ifs' and 'I-should-haves', then be mediocre. If not, ask God for faith and courage to pursue your call...He'll not call you to failure and if He did call you, He will sponsor you! He shall never allow the righteous to stumble and fall if He will even take care of the lilies in the fields.