13 September, SEA Games The race starts on Monday and will end on Saturday, latest Sunday (spare day). My event sees only 3 competitors, Thailand, Indonesia & Singapore. The fewer competitors mean that the tougher it is...it'll be more of a tactical race than anything. I was lying 1st after the 1st day but dropped to 2nd place by today. I sailed badly on the 2nd day but recovered enough to come back stronger on 3rd day. Thai sailor is ahead of me by 5 points, and I’m leading the 3rd girl by 3 points. It is stiff and almost impossible for me to catch up to win the gold unless I come in 1st in the next 4 races and Thai finishes 3rd or gets disqualified etc. Today is a reserve day. we have 2 more days of racing, 4 races left. So far, the points and our positions are as follows: Thai: 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 Singapore: 2, 1, 3, 3, 2, 2 Indonesia: 3, 3, 2, 2, 3, 3 Tactically, I need to secure a Silver first and if I do win the Thai, it’s a bonus. I still have to keep a look-out for INA. The lesser points win…If we run 8 races and above, we are allowed to discard 2 races. On the first day, I had blazing form as I was thoroughly in peace and in rest. I surprised everyone when I was 1st on score tally. Pressure came in and I crashed on the 2nd day, as everyone was expecting the gold medal from me since. I was not in rest then and was full of anxiety, and even came back with bad blisters on my hands. 3rd day, I went out praising the Lord and worshipping Him for His goodness etc…and sailed with the peace I had on 1st day. But I made some stupid mistakes which cost me one win. I could have won the 1st race. Seems like a miracle is needed if I should get the Gold. Thai would have to do really badly and I would have to sail really well. I don’t know how this is possible but my trust is in the Lord. Praise God for every result I had… I've been reading yr emails and praising God for the victory (in tongues etc) that He already acquired for me and is inside me. Yes, I'm conscious that it is not by my training or own strength that will get me the Gold medal. I shall remove every fear and concern that I may disappoint and have confidence in the Lord. They are indeed strong and Thai girl has juz returned from competing in the World Champs. She also went to the Olympics last year plus all the major events, while I didn’t and started full-time training only in Feb. They seem like impossible competitors to triumph in the natural, BUT i will go forth in the strength & confidence in the Lord. God is in covenant with me and He is not capable of failing me!!! My trainings can only bring me a short distance but His grace will get me the victory!! I will praise the Lord at all times...and find courage and grace in HIS sight.

2001 KL SEA Games...20 August, 2001, from Bayu Beach Resort, Port Dickson, Malaysia Decided to go to hotel manager's apt to download my emails tonite, since it's our off day! yay!!! Had gone out to Seremban town this afternoon, with Naomi, Stanley Tan and 2 coaches. After we sent Stanley off at the train station, we proceeded back to Bayu resort, but only after some drinks across the road. Then Naomi & I went for a comfortable 43 min run nearing 8 km in one of the villages nearby called Desa Rusa. There is a local primary school and some nice long houses in them, mostly comprising of Malays & Indians. And it was dinner-time and now, typing emails. On today's papers, it was stated 19 days away from SEA Games...and boy, it hasn't begun to sunk it yet!! However, it has, almost subtly, when I discover that sailors are becoming generally quieter and more serious, though more fatigued. For me, I'm only getting slightly more worried, though i know I shouldn't, and juz rest/trust in God. I'm getting worried abt the diminishing and depleting wind conditions. This week has been a challenge, the wind ranging from 0-4 knots max, not to mention short gusts that come and go. Yesterday, we were pumping around Olympic-sized trapezoid courese in 0-1 kt winds, and strong current. I could hardly muster the physical strength to create momentum. I lost out to the boys by one whole round/sausage. Coach scolds me for lousy performance and the 'what-if-it's-race-day' comment, myself feeling super lousy for not feeling good & not being able to psyche myself up in this no wind condition. My mood drops with the wind strength. When pumping becomes the sole means of propulsion and board momentum, it takes the life out of u to juz make yr board move. It's ok in the Girls' fleet as everyone would be on almost equal grounds in terms of physical strength. Maybe it's my own frustration...I'm praying they won't start races in the SEA Games in this 0 gusting to 2 kts wind. It's no WIND-surfing...prob PUMP-surfing. I hope we'll be racing in 6-8 kts wind at least... I have learnt a great deal abt professional windsurfing from Coach during this trip. Firstly, equipment: He taught us how to love our equipment, set it up 'perfectly' and etc...every unnecessary knot would be done away with and every dirt is wiped away. I would sweep my hands over my board after each session to clean it of dirt, sand etc...every part of the equipment is perfect and tuned to the finest mm/cm. I now know how much a difference it makes, that extra cm or adjustment to the downhaul/outhaul/footstraps. How to personalise a sail and know how to tune a sail to sail optimumly. I would know if my outhaul had loosened by itself when I'm pumping or if my boom slipped by one cm. I'm learning...and feeling excited. Secondly and more...that'll be too much for me to write...:) We'll be returning to Singapore on 30 Aug, next Thurs to be precise. Collecting our blazers etc the next day, we would fly up in style on 2 Sept, prob moving into the Games Village. The ST journalists (Tse Chueen & 2 photographers) had came by last Thurs/Fri, juz to take pix of us eating dinner, doing laundry and training. They really bother, I thought!! But this is part of the stress that's beginning to seep in...the press, expectations, the results, whether we r peaking etc...and sometimes, the 'what-if-i-don't-make-the-cut' thoughts. I heard there was an article yesterday abt us...We train twice a day, 2-half-3 hrs in the morning and another of this in the aftn. We would leave our equipment on the beach, under the trees b4 we launch again after a short lunch of sandwiches (and instant noodles...the bread is simply not enuf...we say, ang moh no brain, give us so little). Plus, our head coach was worried we will put on weight when SEA G starts. Surely not for the windsurfers...finally, a little of my abs are showing. aha! I was telling the sailors that we ought to learn each other's sports so we can understand each other more. I know sailing so they should learn windsurfing too. Otherwise, we cannot meet each other's needs on simple things like food and rest. By the way, 2 days ago, I had carefully placed my equipment under a tree during our lunch break. An hr later, I found 8 coconuts nicely placed on my sail...I looked up to see a 10m tall coconut tree, and realised my wrong choice of tree. Thank God that there was no hole, only some coconut prints and scratches...I think it was a miracle!! The coconuts were the usual size and they dropped together with the leaves. It muz have been divine protection. Count my blessings...I was usually careful in choosing trees but that day, I was particularly tired and looking fwd to going back to my room, hence... I thank God for Naomi here...at least I have someone to talk to, to click with. I realised how that is a blessing after all. This trip is already a hundred times more comfortable than my China trips. Coz sometimes it gets really boring, with juz training the whole day, and I would juz hole up in my room at night, after dinner. Yes, I do appreciate the single-mindedness of training, as it was in China (much worse in China actually). Most nights I would juz snuggle up in my comforter, sit on my bed in nice cool air-con temps, read books, write notes, play music, watch VCDs...and reflect on my life, and training. When I've though thru' almost everything possible, sometimes I would go over to Naomi and chat (or vice versa, depending who gets bored first). Then we'll exchange notes abt sailing, windsurfing, sailors, coaches, God or juz plain gossip. aha!! Time actually flies past faster than I imagined. We are gossiping less now, and juz holing up in our rooms, kept company by our thoughts, prayers and reflections. I guess the reality of the race is getting nearer to me and I'm feeling it. I know better than to entertain it too much so I bought 4 more VCDs last night...classics like BEN Hur, Evita, Little Buddha & The Hurricane. Previously, I watched Swordfish, Kiss of the Dragon and Angel Eyes...Pirated vcds r making the cinema a dwindling business. It's raining now...Quite a rare phenomenon in PD...I hope it doesn't make the wind go away. It's definitely one of the coldest nights thus far. A great change from the blistering heat! Munching on Penang tao sar biscuits which Ker Wan bought for me. Great stuff, good & cheap. Was really glad he came by to visit me as well as to race. Certainly felt the support thru' the efforts and trouble which he took.The 4 hour driving each way, hotel expenses and bringing things up for me (instant noodles, milk, ST, etc). I'm so blessed...now I'm raring to go all the way for the last part of my training. All or nothing!! Meanwhile, I'll be coveting for your prayers...for a miracle in the GOLD medal and that I'll be in the right gust/shift at all the right times, and that I'll be supernaturally endowed with strength & wisdom. That it will be Jesus windsurfing thru' me and I will glorify Him. Living for this cause...

It's been a long time since I wrote my journal...I'm speechless from the abundance of things brimming in my heart. The sailing contingent will be leaving for Port Dickson in 2 wks' time, more than one month in advance of the SEA Games. Once again, I'm feeling the anticipation of home-sickness. Packing my bags is an easy task now, having all my gear in travel packs constantly, and in generous supplies to last for a long time. We've had 3 races in the last few weeks, mainly the China Open, Raffles Marina and National's. Technically, my performance was best in the China Open and I was mentally razor-sharp. My lack of experience was glaring despite having some good showings. Pumping was vigorous and technically correct. Fitness was peak and mentally aggressive. The diarrhea I got from Beijing set me back in the subsequent 2 races, having to struggle in a weak body, headaches and more aches. Pumping was at an all-time low...:( Otherwise nursing lethargy and fatigue, there has been some press conferences and interviews...We also had our suits tailored and other preparations seen into. Meanwhile, I'm tuning into the Spirit more and more, being increasingly aware of my inadequacy and the largeness of the task. I need His grace and empowerment!!! Painfully aware of my humanity and limitations, and achingly hungry for the Gold, I am standing on Mercy ground. Will keep our preparations constantly updated at PD. :)

17 June 2001 Sunday, LIAN HE ZAO BAO (Chinese newspapers) featured my picture beach-starting and mentioned about the SEA Games. We've also had the PA Windsurfing C'ships over the weekends and it was very successfully organized. Personally, it was a wake-up call to my unpreparedness for the upcoming SEA Games as well as a reality-check. This race was almost like a mini SEA Games where Thailand, Malaysia & Singapore sailors raced. I had lost to a 15 year-old Thai girl while our top male sailor lost to a 12 year-old Thai boy. It was a wake-up call to Singapore windsurfing. Despite having trained in 20 knots wind for the last 2 mths and lost in touch with light wind pumping were excuses not good enough for me. We were also blunt from racing, our last race being last held in March. I was absolutely far from being near my peak, or even where I was in March. I just am not pumping-fit right now and I know how much I need to do to catch up. We are 83 days away from SEA Games and I cannot begin to explain how engrossed I am in this endeavour. I literally think, sleep, eat, breathe SEA Games...I'm very excited and I hope I can have an underdog's chance at the Gold medal.

31 May 2001, Thursday It was blowing up to 28 knots today!! Most of us were overpowered and I saw vertical figures on the water and they were not masts, but sailors uphauling. Aha!! I managed for about almost an hr until disaster fell. My sail was already flat, mast extension No. 6 and fully tight. Upwind was ok as I was trying hard to use my body weight to hold down the sail. I wasn’t powered up but I was moving. DW planning was another disaster as the power on the sail was tremendous. I could not hold it at all and kept getting hauled up into a catapult. It was literally ‘Bumps & Jumps’ the whole stretch. I guess I was one of the worst victims, having ripped my sail apart just below the boom in a Broadreach planning catapult. I fell hooked into the harness and as I pressed the boom down, the sudden pressure slit my sail left to right. It didn’t help that my 2 year-old sail was already crisp and torn in many places. Today was the day it had to go…I tried desperately to sail the long distance back to shore but sailing upwind to shore (off-shore wind) is no mean feat with a torn sail. The wind couldn’t catch any wind at all…finally I moved a little and started to wave my hand for assistance. Finally, the Zhejiang coach saw me, anchored a buoy and came over to help me. Express-derigging on the boat and we went off to rescue another Hainan girl in distress too. We then went back to shore. Coach was also back and he went out again to look for the boys. Both of them came back early, totally exhausted by the strong wind. I was not to think that I was gonna have holidays the next 2 days as Coach instructed me to use Andrew’s training sail while he will rig up his competition sail. 2 June 2001, Saturday I’ve heard that there has been storms in Singapore about once a week, a 20-knotter. We’ve had the Force 5s here too, about 5 times a week J…yesterday (1 June, Friday) we had 22-23 kts wind & today the 15-18 kts wind. Yesterday’s wind was ok…but I got too tired after 2 and a half hrs of training so I left for shore 20 mins earlier than the rest of them. Today e had no choice but to press on through the whole session because it is a centralized training (‘he lian’) with all the other provinces. Coach QH had specifically told us to persevere thru’ all the races. We had 4 races, a huge triangle-sausage course. We went out at 1:30 p.m. and came back at 5 p.m. Oh dear, all my strength spent!!! The waves were mast-high near the upwind mark. I didn’t sail well at all…I was ok only in the first race but punctured early. Sighz…the wind got stronger in the 3rd & 4th races, prob 18 to 20 kts. On the port tack, I was hooking on my toes to the foot-straps with all my might as the huge waves would always threaten to overturn your board and bear you down as you crash down. When going down a wave, I would put pressure on my feet, railing the board even more and close the gap so I can climb up every wave. The more you can carry out the actions over as many waves as you can will determine your board speed. Nearing the upwind mark, the waves were mast-high and always impossible to rail the board. In such cases, I will use my toes to press down the rail of the board to prevent flipping over. Loosen outhaul a little to gain speed to climb the waves. This is because when you are on the crest of the wave, there’s less wind and more wind when you are riding down the wave. I don’t want to lose any board speed at all. On the starboard tack, it’s disastrous as you are sailing at right angles to the waves. I got flipped over once and it’s totally painful to be wiped down by the huge waves. On the downwind legs, everyone is pumping in the 20 kts wind…where do they get so much bull-strength? QH said we probably won’t sail tomolo since it’s a Sunday but who knows…I don’t mind sailing since we have nothing to do. We will be packing up on Monday & then leave on Tuesday morning. Btw, we will definitely be bringing our equipment back to Singapore. Loads of stuff to carry again. I had a small adventure this evening. The boys & me went to eat Mutton & Beef steamboat. After a short but intense dinner with a live gas stove sitting on our table, we walked over to the internet shop but it was packed. Only Andrew had a PC but after waiting for half an hr and seeing the queue and feeling bored, I was the first to leave. I bought a pack of ‘gua zi’ (melon seeds) along the way and decided to take a 15-20 min stroll back. I would go to the BBQ stall to look for my fren. ¾-way to my hotel, a scooter passed me and it was that BBQ girl riding pillion. She shouted at me, stopped and she told me to hop on behind her. So I did, china-style, I was the 3rd passenger on the tiny scooter. Aha!! The guy riding the scooter sent us to the BBQ stall outside our ‘club’. I hung out there a while and business was pretty brisk, being a Saturday. As I dazed at the sea, she poked more chicken wings into sticks, with her bare hands. Ahem! I’ve never agreed to her kind offer of a treat even though she would always offer. Thank God!! They certainly don’t look clean to me…typical road-side stall hygiene is zilch! Aha! Then we got the wheels moving and shifted the stall to Mystify Island Hotel (beside ours). I don’t know why…maybe the tourists staying in the hotels would bring them more business. Then I got on the scooter to go ‘dou feng’ (sight-seeing) with them. They said they were going to this Dongzhou place…very fun. “Zhuo wen” (sit tight) & off we went…riding thru’ rocky roads etc…when we were halfway thru’ an empty patch of land, rather, sand, it started to drizzle. Oh dear!! Scooter woes…got rain no go..ahaha!! so we turned back and before we reached their stall, it was already raining. They had to ‘shou dang’ (close shop) and go home as a result of the rain. I went back to my hotel. So I’m sitting here watching TV, eating gua zi (melon seeds) and typing.

29 May 2001, Monday Songs of Silence: In the day, I lose myself out there in the sea. In the night, I come to find myself back! In the night, you don¡¯t even know the sea is there. Darkness. And you even think it¡¯s so still that the sea is nothing more than a big patch of darkness. Till you walk nearer and listen more intently, you¡¯ll hear the waves crashing gently on the seashore. If you strain your eyes a little, you can even outline strips of light reflected off the surface from the moon. Listen even more intently and you discover a rhythm to the waves; look closer and you see a piercing light in the somber darkness. Can you hear the sea singing songs of silence? I do¡­it¡¯s a song punctuated with crashing waves and howling winds. On other nights, the waves are gentle and the wind¡¯s a shy breeze. Tonight¡¯s song is silent as of other nights. Overcome by fatigue, speechless from my daily weariness and overwhelmed by routine, I sought to find my voice again. Putting aside the reasons that put me here and shrugging off the single-mindedness I was supposed to bear, I seek to listen to my heart, once more, like a child would. I strain to take note of every sound I can hear around me. I listen to the stall-owner¡¯s voice and what she says. I hear the motorbike¡¯s roaring engine. I hear the footsteps of some passers-by. I hear the rustling of leaves and a plastic bag taking off into the dark. I could even hear muffled voices in the distant, occasionally disturbed by shrieks of laughter. I struggle to remember it, lest I forget and lose the feeling. I attempt to remember the day¡¯s activities while savouring the hardship and pondering over the routine of life. After all, this will make up several chapters of my life. Finally, I realized that my song is still silent. It is meant to be silent, I figured. In silence, there is peace. There is a knowing and a focus. In silence means I can sing as though there are no yesterdays or tomorrows. I can create my tune and make up my choir; choreograph the piece and design the lights. In silence means I can hear better. In silence means I can pick up lost thoughts and reflect further on others. In silence means I can sing songs of silence. Whatever you do, be yourself¡­and be what God designed you to be! Labour into rest and struggle to be at peace with yourself.

25 March 2001, Friday PAY IT FORWARD¡­think of an idea to change the world, and put it into action. Trevor McKinney, a 7th-grader, son of a single parent Arlene McKinney (Helen Hunt), changes his world and the people around him with an idea¡­Eugene Simonet, the teacher, throws this idea to his social studies class, and challenges them to think it ¡®possible¡¯ to change the world. Trevor conjures the idea of ¡®Pay It Forward¡¯, brings a bum home, gave him money to buy clothes and lets him sleep in the garage. This man's life is changed by the boy¡¯s kindness¡­the kindness spreads, and spreads. Meanwhile, Trevor thought he had failed and targets Mr Simonet next. He attempts to bring Eugene and his mother together, half in fear that his natural alcoholic father may return, and half hoping Eugene would replace him. Arlene is faced with a man in fear! A man whose past haunts him, emotionally and physically. He sought for familiarity and stability in his life, never got involved with girls and never questioned beyond what he knows and what he has, even though they are bad. He withdraws himself before he even stood out. He used big words to hide his simplicity, quietness to hide his silence. He fears being somewhere he¡¯s never been before and panics when confronted with his fears. Arlene confronts him one night in his apartment, barged in demanding, ¡°Do you look down on me? Coz I don¡¯t talk like you do or read the stuff you read¡­don¡¯t talk to me like that! He says ¡®But I always talk like that, words are all I have.¡¯ Why, why, because you think your face looks like shit? I don¡¯t care about your burns, Eugene, if they are what they are¡­whatever happened to you, you look good to me!! Eugene confessed, ¡®I¡¯ve never been here before¡­¡¯ and starts being defensive, ¡®You don¡¯t see me! MY life is familiar. My life is manageable and everyday, there¡¯s a thing I do¡­it¡¯s all I ever know. With THAT, I¡¯m ok¡­without it, I¡¯m lost.¡¯ Arlene asks if all he WANTS in life is his god-damned manageable routine and she doesn¡¯t believe it. She kisses him and he pulls away. She said she¡¯s tried her best and he says it¡¯s not about her. Yes it is, she says, something is being offered to you here but you don¡¯t want it, maybe you¡¯re afraid to get rejected but I can¡¯t reject you, you¡¯re too quick for me. Eugene protects himself with his routine, that which he ever knew safe. Choosing loneliness and familiarity over love and change, he buries himself in his insecurities. Trevor sees him more than he sees himself. He makes him see beyond duty, to listen to his heart and follow it. The next thing he did was to appear at Arlene¡¯s house and makes love to her. It was more than baring himself and his burns to her, it was a shedding of the past, a reconciliation of desire and change, a redemption of a man given to his fears and insecurities. Almost as if to test his love for her and his ability to change, Arlene¡¯s alcoholic husband returns. Arlene looks for Eugene to explain why she¡¯s taking the alcoholic man back. Eugene was provoked to remember his past, why abused women, like Arlene and his own mother, would keep abuse a secret, and what good it does to the children and Trevor. He poured out his story of how his alcoholic father would get down on his knees in tears, begged his mother to take him back, and how she always took him back. Eugene left home when he was 13. He came back 3 years later and tries to bring his mother away. His father hits him semi-conscious and sets him ablaze. Eugene remembers the look in his eyes till today, that look of immense satisfaction of burning up his son. He breaks down¡­Arlene is sorry for him and Eugene blows up¡­he tells her not to be sorry for him, he begged her to just prevent that from happening to Trevor. She promises it won¡¯t happen to Trevor. Eugene pointed out ¡®All he has to do is NOT love Trevor!¡¯ and walks up his apartment. Arlene knew she¡¯s made a mistake by then, the beauty of hindsight confronts the impossibility of reversing a decision. The next time her alcoholic husband became violent with her, she chases him out of the house. Her fears that he may never forgive her again stopped her from initiating reconciliation with him. It¡¯s hard for some people who are so used to things the way they are, even if they are bad to change. And they kind of give up, when they do, everybody kinda loses. Eugene swears to Arlene that he doesn¡¯t want to be one of those people he¡¯s talking about, or become one. I don¡¯t want to spend another second of wasted air without you. Please don¡¯t let me stay trapped in this forever. I don¡¯t want to spend another second without you. That moment of intense desire and romantic passion was juxtaposed with Trevor¡¯s poignant death. He died for what he believed in, even if it means doing it on a second chance, even if it means that it seems overly idealistic and it only happens on an utopia, that by paying it forward, he can fix a person¡¯s life¡­he just wants to see if he can change the world!! It¡¯s like a big chance to fix something that¡¯s not like your bike, you can fix a person. Because people can¡¯t always see what they need¡­A remarkable young man who¡¯s learnt how to overcome fear and rejection to achieve what he¡¯s dreamt of. Fear is not ONE person¡¯s responsibility, it¡¯s everybody else¡¯s. All of us have a duty towards the next person, to help them overcome their weaknesses and fears, and this world will indeed, change!!

9 May 2001, Tuesday We started the day off with a warm-up run and afterwards at 9 a.m., did some intense abs exercises, grip hangs & the ‘vampire’ squats. The abs exercises were the highlights of the day, targeting at the upper abs, obliques and lower back. The radical exercise was the obliques ex…we lie down sideways, criss-crossing out legs, one on top of the other. Get a partner to sit on your feet and you would do the sit-up exercise sideways, using your obliques to come up. 30 reps each side. J My palms were already sore from windsurfing and the fact that we had to hang on the thick, iron, rusty bar for 2 min creates a headache. J After land training was done, we were back for a rest plus lunch…later, the waves visited on the wind’s behalf and we went swimming & body-surfing instead. It was rather fun swimming in the surf and relaxing the body after a day’s work-out. We also saw a number of teams out there swimming together, replacing windsurfing training with a relaxing swimming session. J We had dumplings delivered to our hotel for dinner. It cost us only $25 for 4 boxes of dumplings. 12 May 2001, Saturday Full-time training is a lot more painful & tough than I had expected in every single aspect. I came to a revelation at how much ‘hard work’ & financial security plays in a sailor’s performance, all other factors a constant. Looking at the Chinese sailors here is a good example. All of them are salaried sailors, meaning it’s a job for them, hence putting them on equal grounds. Those top sailors who excel are those who train the hardest, work the most, put in their heart/soul in every single training & are ambitious. Everyone does the same training day in and day out but how HARD one works is a deciding factor which one can decide to control. Yet because the Chinese sailors are salaried, they have to press on despite feeling fatigued or not-in-the-mood to train, just as we have to go to work regardless of how we feel that day. Singapore sailors are moved by passion for windsurfing, hence when fatigue sets in, we are reluctant to continue pushing as we are no longer enjoying the sport then. We know we are not obliged to train when we are in great pain & fatigue. Yet this ‘pressing-on’ is crucial to building up an endurance which in a long time frame, is foundational in making us strong sailors. Moreover, I’m constantly worried about my finances…my family’s financial situation and how I’m not contributing to my family. I’ve not had a salary for 4 months since I turned full-time and many times, I wonder for how many more months I can train in peace, knowing that my savings are running empty and no money’s coming in on a regular basis & in sufficiency. Hence it’s not just a physical and technical struggle in full-time training. I am confident that I can and more than willing to handle the physical pain, technical understanding but the fuel that can continue to drive me on in the long term is the assurance and knowing that all other aspects of my life are taken care of. Effective full-time training is a cumulative program. Atmosphere is as important as the content of training as training in a group of good windsurfers makes it instinctive for one to assume the correct techniques, motivation and for good observation. We naturally climb up higher rungs without even knowing it. Training with others make the high training load more bearable, as the team spirit is there and pushing each other on. In this lifestyle of eat-sleep-windsurf, I think mostly windsurfing. I seldom daydreamed except when I was fatigued. I thought about what I want to achieve, how I can push myself more and further, I thought about the various techniques I need to work on and stayed alert to my goal. Knowing that I am still a foot-note in this region pushes me on…to train long & hard, it’s painful but worth it. I celebrate the fact that I am given the opportunities to extend my horizons, to push further my pain barriers and crash beyond current physical/emotional limits. There is a sort of indescribable peace in the simplicity of my dedication. I appreciated the single-mindedness of training hard during the day and holing up in my bed at night. To give up means to go back to work, which is a much easier way out because professional windsurfing is a hard, hard job (if there’s even a salary). To press on means I have to endure pain in every inch of my body, everyday. To push through barriers means I press on in moments when I feel I’m about to crash and to punish my body even harder when I don’t even have an ounce of strength left. As long as I have goals to work for, I’ll always have the fuel to drive me on & up. I can be told I only have a 1% chance to win, but I have to believe and I have to fight!! When I believe and I try, I’ll realize that I’m much better than I know; that I have unrealized capacities that sometimes only emerge in crisis. This is what drives me on…living for this cause; pursuing God’s call & knowing Him more intimately every moment. 14 May 2001, Monday: Journey to Shantou from Shanwei to visit my distant relatives: They were all so happy to see me…some were in tears. I’ve not done something like this for anyone but for Mom. It was a tumultuous journey to begin with…when uncle was telling everyone how I am ‘wu sim’ (got heart), I was kinda emotionless. Coz I din go there coz I really miss them or really want to see them. For goodness’ sake, I wasn’t born when they were in S’pore. Moreover, my generation will be the lost world. I went there coz I know Mom will be happy. That’s all! In fact, when I was there, I didn’t feel any emotion nor feeling of intimacy with any of them. Logically, I know that the cousins, uncles, aunties are all directly related to me. There’s definitely a gap. I felt more like a tourist than anything else…I was intrigued by the pigs, the photos, the ancestors’ stuff, the ‘living room’ (which they told me is the best place in the hse), the furniture, the lifestyle etc…I was really nothing more than a sociologist, perhaps. Interested in their lifestyle, thoughts, ideals etc…but I felt bad that they felt emotional towards me…I cannot augur any emotion in me, not towards my cousins too. My journey to Shantou was very exciting. Ahaha…after I reached the Shanwei bus depot, I was touted by many men, some on motorbikes & others on foot. They asked where I’m going etc…I told them. Immediately one of them told me he can get me to the bus, comfortable etc…private bus somemore. Only $80. (I know it only costs $45). Then he came on his motorbike but I refused…thinking I have to sit on the rickety bike for 3 hrs. He claimed that he’s only sending me to catch the bus. Somehow, with other rough men, they bundled me up the bike, together with many other men pushing me along…I got up, sititng sideways in my denim skirt & big haversack (containing the few kgs of tidbits & 2 pieces of clothing for the night). I sat on it for 15 min…I kept asking him if he’s for real, where he’s bringing me to, knowing that he’s lying etc…then we alighted & he made me climb this little hill…up on to the expressway itself. Well, we stood on the x’way waiting…under the hot sun…waiting…for a passing bus to shantou. I didn’t quite know how the real bus looks like but I was oredi in a ‘fix’. He told me to prepare the $80…but I said I’ll only pay when I’m in the bus. A few buses didn’t stop. Then finally the most dirty looking and rickety bus stopped…he paid the rough guy some $$ & I got up. Meanwhile, he pulled me down, asking me for his $$. I took out a handful of $$, containing only $44 & gave it to him while forcefully making my way up the bus while he was still pulling me down. Then he counted & realized that it was less than what he was supposed to receive. The bus moved off & I saw him running hard after the bus, shouting for his $$. Aha!! No way I’m getting tricked by him k…cheating me of $ & making me wait under the hot sun for passing bus. I was already cheated by this man. Anyway, I immediately confirmed if the bus was going to Shantou. It was a passing bus that goes to many places, Shantou being one of them…& u can drop anywhere u like. I saw many pple alighting on expressways. Strange. The guys in the bus were out of this world…not the common china man…too rough & dirty. Ahah…the guy accompanying the driver ignored all my questions. I still didn’t know where the bus is alighting me in Shantou. Shantou is real big. Anyway, the seats were actually beds, very narrow & double-decked, real dirty & crude. From the outside, it looks worse than a prison. Ahaha…but I never knew I could be on one. I juz sat upright, sideways, behind the driver thru’ out the 2 ½ hr journey. The guy would juz spit out of the window, or splash the tea water on the floor leading to the door. Everything will go there…aiyah, very dirty lah. The ride was very rough…so are the people. I knew everyone was staring at me. Finally, 1 hr to Shantou, this man came to the front & spoke to me in Teochew. He was helpful & asked me where I’m going. I didn’t know where to alight etc…I called 3rd uncle & put him on the line with this man. They arranged to drop me off at the train station & told the driver. THANK GOD!! 17 May 2001, Thursday We had our ‘SEA Games selections’ AGAIN…and I dare say it’s the worst selections I ever had coz we had 7 races in one afternoon from 1:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. Back to back (one immediately after another; no rest) races in 10-15 kts wind, half-mast waves…by the 6th & 7th races, I was pooped & fell in several times. I had done well in the first 4 races, finishing juz less than 10m after Meng in the first few races. I didn’t expect to have so many races so I worked my heart out in the first few…and got too tired by the 5th race. Andrew sat out the 6th & 7th races & QH took over his board. And the best part is, the race course was HUGE…Olympic size…we couldn’t see the buoys from anywhere except nearing the mark itself. Not to mention trying to spot the Upwind mark at the Start line. It was a trying day for me…we also had land trg at 6:30 a.m. yesterday as well, doing 3 sets of pumping, sit-ups/back extension & frog jumps. We rested in the morning…in fact, lying in bed till lunch-time. Got down to beach at 12+ p.m. & back in hotel at 6 p.m. Ching decided to sleep at 8:10 p.m. while I was trying to get out of reality (ouch!) by watching Doraemon. I followed suit & woke up only at 7 a.m. QH gave us a break for the morning today…yay!!! Even now, we r still lying/sitting in bed, our backs too sore to enable us to move around much. I’ve had a cup of coffee, some biscuits & drinking cereal now…oh, and having my facial mask on. Hehe… 22 May 2001, Tuesday 13 days away from being home-sweet-home again. What a wait…3 of us are counting down day by day…missing home & talking about what we want to do when we are home. We were in Guangzhou the last 2 days, staying one night at the airport hotel (bagus!!!), giving us an excellent excuse to take a break while sending our pals off. We really pampered ourselves coz it cost us $438 a night & we took 2 rooms. We are spoilt now…returning ‘home’ to our crappy hotel took some getting-used-to. Ahaha… Shopping in Guangzhou was quite alritez…I thought I would not need to spend much here…true but not in GZ. Hence I borrowed money from Jon for shopping & we call him Ah Long ‘Seng’ now (coz his surname is Seng). Ahahaha…so many stuff to buy & feeling so happy. I bought myself a pair of Teva sandals, a pair of Merrell trekking shoes , VCDs (Driven; Enemy at the Gates, Lao Fu Zi & Pay It Forward) & 2 Giordano tops. I also bought a pink Minnie Mouse air sofa for Ruth & Joan (my lovely nieces). Ahahaha…I’m sooooooooo happy with my best-buys…hehehe…& secretly proud of myself for getting them at such bargains & yet, they are genuine stuff. I was intrigued by the 45 degrees print on the Merrell shoes (my boyfriend’s sail no. is 45) which thoroughly matches my 37 degrees board shorts. We went for non-Chinese food while we were there…ate Mac’s & Pizza Hut. Ordered pizzas & spaghetti, chocolate drinks, Cappucino etc…wonderful!! Makes all the suffering more worthwhile after all. On our return journey back ‘home’, we endured a 4-5 hrs long bumpy bus ride with a flood jam towards the end. It was spectacular & I was so engrossed I forgot to take pictures. The flood was a sight, as we saw china-men cycling in knee-high floods, with one hand holding an umbrella (it was raining). These people are very fit indeed! Ahaha…moreover, my coach-mate was not the more considerate sort of girl. She would jab me in my side everytime she reaches into her bag for more melon seeds. And when she talks on her mobile phone, I would instinctively veer away from her as she’s practically SHOUTING into the phone. At times, she would take out her bracelet and start thumbing on the beads. Yes, she must be a Buddhist. And she must have been worshipping the ‘karate’ Buddha-of-Fury or she wouldn’t have known how to jab coach-mates in their sides. After some time, I would lean away from her as her legs begin to widen and her arms start to open up…I figured she could be feeling warm and hence, airing her underarms. *evil grin* J Btw, 3 of us were seated on the first front seats. We were also entertained to Chinese Karaoke. I had a double bonus treat!! My coach-mate was singing along to the Father-Mother songs. They love songs with father, mother, nature themes. Titles range from ‘My mother’s sheep-skin coat’, ‘The Mongolians’ to ‘My most wonderful Father’. My coach-mate apparently is an ‘IN’ girl as she knows all the songs and I could hear the audible singing from my left. Scenes always include the sky, sea, buffaloes, naked young boys splashing in the rivers, Sheep, Mongolians and family scenes. If not for the spectacular flood, I would have been bored from the Karaoke songs & my coach-mate.

CHINA TRAINING 15 APRIL ¨C 5 JUNE Monday, April 15 2001: QH found a hotel for us...already one of the better budgeted ones but still crappy. Let's mention that there's no use for the phone since we can't call out or use it for the internet, there's no cleaning services at all since we paid at a 'discounted' rate. Then, the TV is blur, no kettle etc...some of the plugs don't work so i can't boil water initially. I resorted to buying a scrub and scrubbing clean the bathroom...and tried clearing the remnants (cigarette butts, stuck hair, dirt etc) of the previous guest. It proved to be futile so we bought cheap slippers to wear in the room. We went out this morning and came back with pails for every room, washing powder, clothes hangers, china slippers etc...I spent all my free time cleaning the room and arranging/airing furniture. I feel like I'm a chambermaid now. But crappy hotels do have its positives...they let us leave our equipment at the entrance and we rigged up at the hotel compound this morning. Then we carried the sail/board and walked about 200m to the training site, having to watch out for 'horny' vehicles along the way. It was quite exciting. I never tried walking so far with my board & sail b4 in typical china traffic... Monday Afternoon: We set sail this afternoon after settling many matters in the morn...we were about the only ones out on water today. All the other elite sailors were resting and engaged in land training later since the wind was considered 'too light'. We sailed with several Shandong Junior sailors, very young kids...it was about 5-7 knots and the waves were already knee high and more. At times, I could only see Andrew's mop of hair...My first upwind was a mess because I can't quite point with such big waves. You also do not want to fall into water since the no. of jellyfish there is, trust me, much more than what Penang has to offer. They are also HUGE jellyfish which you don't want to mess with. Downwind legs are really thrilling as the rollers can get very high and sometimes nothing at all. When the wind is about 20-30+ knots, the sailors say the waves are more than mast high...and very cold. Yup, the water is cold...about 17 degrees i think. I can't wait to try the more-than-mast-high waves & 30 over knots wind... The China Olympics is postponed to 21 April. Guess what? Chujun and the rest who were training on shortboard have all switched to Formula racing. They are into NP sails and Starboard. Wow!! What are we waiting for...Oh yes, when we came back to shore, the sailors were all into their land training. Wow...As usual, i felt that we looked like blobs of walking fat when i saw their lean, muscled bodies. In fact, andrew was rite when he said we look more like coaches since we r 'fat'. ahaha...The girls were using weights which our strongest guys used and their guys were using weights which our strongest guys never used before. I think QH is being ambitious when he said we can share their weights etc...they are simply of weight-lifting standards. We are set to start on the 'pumping machine' tomorrow at 6:30 a.m. :) Tuesday 16 April 2001: We had our first proper training today. 3 parts to our training today. we started at 6:30 a.m. & found the whole place infested with sailors running. we did a 3-4 km run for warm-up and proceeded to do 3 sets x 3 min of pumping on the pumping machine. wow...my first time and it was a good trial. There, QH pointed out our mistakes & etc...i FINALLY totally understood it. we intend to go back s'pore & get some welder to craft it out...it really helps a lot. then we proceeded to breakfast at 7+ a.m. we rested for an hr b4 we r out at 9 a.m. for part 2. we ran again for warm up...the same distance. then we did 4 sets of painful ex. 1) the hanging grip 4 x 2 min. all 3 of us drop down from the thick, rusty bar abt the same no. of times. very tough. ahahaha...the chinese sailors really hv forearms as big as my biceps. 2) squats 4 x 50 reps. 3) 4 x 3 min of pumping on the machine. it was very tiring. we went for lunch. rested for a while and at 12+ p.m., rigged up and went out to sea. My upwind & downwind improved by leaps & bounds indeed coz i now got my pumping technique correct after trying it out so intensively on the pumping machine. soon, abt 40 over sailors joined us so now, it's like a mini china open. 20 April 2001, Friday For some reason, I juz could not use the GRIC in shanwei. QH asked one of his zhejiang gals to bring me to the Internet caf¨¦ in a town nearby. So I resorted to saving all my emails in a disk & copy/paste on the emails to send out. So, I¡¯ll be saving all my emails in Word doc & pasting on emails. Sorry the emails I sent were all messy & everything. We went there abt 9 p.m. & the shop was closing at 10 p.m. Plus, I didn¡¯t want to go back too late as I was alone. I asked Weiyuan (the ZJ gal to go back first coz their bed-time is 9:30 p.m.). I was done at 10 odd and caught a ¡®beep beep¡¯ motorbike only abt 10 min later & it was almost a ghost town. Then I saw a ¡®beep beep¡¯ (the local small motor ¡®taxi¡¯) but he initially didn¡¯t want to take me as he was sending 2 of his children home. But I was desperate and it was pitch black liao¡­hehe, he took me & I sat beside his kid and the other younger one was under my feet. Ahahaha¡­it was really funny!! I put my arm across the kid beside me as he looked like he was flying off already. I felt worried for him. Only abt 1 year plus¡­and the bike ride was rough. I tipped the driver oso. I felt exceptionally grateful when I reached our hotel; I looked around at the quiet dark streets and imagined some Chinese pontianaks jumping out from the bushes; some mad men looking for rape victims or wild dogs devouring me for supper. Ahaha¡­Nah, I wasn¡¯t scared lah¡­juz can¡¯t help keeping my imagination from running wild. I muz tell myself NOT to think too much; my classic flaw. We are done with Part 1 trg 2day and we are pardoned from the Part 2 as there is no wind. Hot air is building up & unlike S¡¯pore, the weather works differently. We did our warm-up run and then 3 sets of 3 min pumping. I was punctured right from Set 1; simply too worn out from y¡¯day¡¯s long training. This morning, Andrew went ¡°GOOD!!! No wind¡­aching sia!!¡± I¡¯m glad I¡¯m not the only one¡­but they were not as bad as me on the pumping machine. QH said we had persevered for quite some days already so we deserve the rest this morning. We¡¯ll sail only this afternoon. You don¡¯t know how RELIEVED I am¡­I had my DIY facial mask on now, might as well, I saw 2 pimples threatening to manifest on my face. Finally, I have time to sit down and have coffee. This is my first cup of coffee since I reached here as we always have 3 trgs a day. Phew!! ³ÔÁË¿àÖп࣬·½ÉÏÁ콱̨¡£ 27 April 2001, Friday San San has just won the China Olympics Selections. She crossed the finish line about 15 min ago at 4+ p.m. 27 April. I was on the boat watching the races. She was phenomenal!! I have definitely found my favourite sailor and ¡®idol¡¯ now¡­no doubt about it. Ahhaa¡­she beat Huang Ying to it and I can¡¯t wait to know the final results in October. That will be really exciting. 2 months and 16 days into my full-time training since 8 Feb, I think I¡¯ve changed a great deal as a sailor. We¡¯ve had winds ranging from Force 1 to Force 5, flat water to waves as big as ¾ mast high since we came. It¡¯s really exciting¡­I¡¯ve not seen anything like this. San San is superb in strong strong winds and she¡¯s really pulled back into fifth gear in today¡¯s 3rd race (1st) after getting 5th in the first 2 races today. She was lagging behind Huang Ying by one point with a last race to go¡­She¡¯s definitely won it and delivered yet again. Watching it was inspiring and energizing while the men¡¯s races were superhuman. They raced like there was no tomorrow! Ahaha¡­The wind ranged from 8-12 knots, measured by your SWF wind gauge. Yesterday we¡¯ve had winds 18-22 kts in the 3rd race and lighter winds in the first 2 races. The sailors can rest now¡­finally! It was as competitive as the Olympics, changing leaders every single day in every race. QH made me so tired yesterday¡­I was aching so badly and so tired that I slept from 8:30 p.m. till 7 a.m. this morning. Guess wat?? QH fell sick today¡­he¡¯s paralysed in bed the whole day today while we were on the Zhejiang boat watching the last races. He had apparently caught a cold when he went out on Andrew¡¯s equipment y¡¯day in the Force 5 winds¡­hehe, I told Zhou Zihou & Shi Dong that we made him so angry he fell sick. Hehe¡­these 2 Hainan coaches are the funniest characters I¡¯ve seen here. They would always survive mast-high waves in their tiny rubber dinghy. They¡¯re the best! Ahaha¡­the Zhejiang coach would also like to speed on his old, tattered powerboat and shooting right up to shore with a swoosh! Ahaha¡­ Was pooped out y¡¯day. Never felt so tired in my life, not even during Singapore Open, not on my normal trgs¡­slept at 8:30 p.m. till 7 a.m. this morning. Totally aching and in pain¡­every inch of my body cries out in protest and suffering. It has been blowing the last few days we¡¯ve been sent out to the slaugher. Yesterday we skipped the 6:30 a.m. trg coz QH wanted us to reserve energy for the 9 a.m. & afternoon trg. And I thought he was being merciful¡­yikes!! We sailed in 13-15 kts wind from 9:00 a.m. till 12:30 p.m. The waves were big, already about half-3/4 mast high (1.5 metres) in this considerably light wind condition. Hence, it was tiring having to control and fly through waves etc¡­and I finally discovered what is ¡®planing¡¯. I¡¯m definitely planning faster than ever¡­discovering a grace I never felt b4. The feeling is so amazingly fulfilling. Planing has never felt so streamlined, beautiful¡­riding waves has never been so thrilling and fun¡­ I must have eaten 5-6 bowls of rice during lunch¡­NO JOKE¡­I really ate so much! Then after we went back to the hotel, I juz can¡¯t help but fall asleep, even if it was for half an hour b4 I went out again at 3 p.m. This time, I dragged myself to the beach. Whitecaps everywhere and I was cold from the cold wind blowing right into my nostrils. My wetsuit did not feel thick enough¡­it was blowing Force 5¡­18-22 kts wif nice big waves. I was still VERY VERY tired¡­I was numb to the point that I didn¡¯t have the strength to tell Coach if I can skip the afternoon. Sighz¡­but I started laughing when I couldn¡¯t push in my batten coz I started trembling in fatigue. Ahaha¡­he helped me rig up and there I went¡­into the torture chambers. I didn¡¯t get slammed and I did enjoy flying thru¡¯ the waves and planning at high speeds on the reach¡­upwind was painful as I¡¯m juz not so adept at it yet. I hope VERY SOON, I can sail in winds up to 30 kts in ease. If Huang Ying & Masako can do it, why not me? Today QH let us rest for the morning. Juz came back from tim-sum breakfast. I¡¯m too tired to do anything anyway¡­juz feel like sleeping thru¡¯¡­I dunno if I can tahan the afternoon session. Actually, I really quite miss home. It¡¯s my 13th day here and I cannot quite imagine another 37 days here, knowing trg load will intensify daily. I don¡¯t want to think abt the pain and fear, gotta take one day as it comes!! Fear will drive out all my energy. Our return flight is on 5 June. And we are not done with April yet, oh man¡­help!! Li Ke (QH¡¯s wife, also ex Asian Games champ & 4th in 1996 Olympics) said a good athlete will do more than what the Coach set out¡­but I can¡¯t even say I can cruise thru¡¯ what was planned out, how can I do more¡­ Well, now that I¡¯ve been thru¡¯ this, there¡¯s nothing else I cannot endure! Really¡­I can tahan all the ¡®ku¡¯ anyone can throw my way. It¡¯s 9: 12 a.m. now¡­so tired¡­gonna sleep again! All the daily trgs in S¡¯pore (while I was full-time) added together are still not enough to tire me as the trgs here could for one day. Saturday, 28 April Ker wan has been playing golf over the weekends at Shanghai while he was here for work. I was jealous. Ahaha¡­.China tv here is showing lotsa Beijing 2008 Olympics¡­wow¡­they are really serious about it and I¡¯m already feeling inspired. I spent the aftn today in Huang Ying¡¯s room. She was the 1998 Asian Games medallist (lost to san san) plus Huang Ying was telling me about her races wif san san and when I hear the same story from diff sailors, I tend to learn a lot. But I¡¯ll always ask QH to comment on anything I learn as I don¡¯t want to contradict his teaching. Even Li Ke¡¯s comments are good. However I¡¯m not confident of the fotos I took out at sea as the boat shakes A LOT¡­coz of the big waves¡­I bet most of them would be blur¡­can¡¯t help it. But I hope some of them will turn out nice nonetheless. Now that we¡¯ve rested for 2 days in a row, I hope we¡¯ll train tomorrow actually. With every new thing I learn everyday, I can¡¯t wait to go out to sea to practise or to manifest in spirit during land training. I also hope to challenge my endurance & determination everyday in training; be it in pushing through higher limits or doing an extra rep or doing the last rep stronger than b4. I told Li Ke that at this moment, we can¡¯t dream of doing 6 sets when coach orders 4 sets coz I would be struggling with the 4th set. Ahaha..but I said I¡¯ll try when I¡¯ve reached a comfortable fitness level. Ahaha¡­but most importantly, I¡¯m learning the athlete¡¯s attitude¡­which is to really be mechanic about training and do w/o complaints, to push through despite feeling that I¡¯m about to die. 30 April, Monday It¡¯s 11 a.m. now & Juz done with Parts 1 & 2 of trg 2day. Oh man¡­it¡¯s painful! For the early morning ex, I went thru¡¯ it still feeling the hangover fr last nite¡¯s drinking. Last night, I struggled back to hotel & puked my entire dinner out in the toilet. They juz like to ¡®gan bei¡¯ everything & I had kenna a few drinks incl one cup of red wine concoction which was lighter than the normal beer. So I was KO last nite but woken up by the darn mosquitoes several times. Oh yes, it was in the midst of drinking that I called home to say ¡®hi¡¯. J For part 2 trg, I saw the entire comet family, incl the many stars, sun & moon. Ahaha¡­we had 3 days¡¯ rest & now we are paying for it. We did 4 sets at the 9 a.m. part 2 trg of 3 ex, not incl a warm-up run, (many times) sprints while weaving in/out of unruly traffic & minimizing inhalation of carbon monoxide. Then we had the pumping ex, abs & frog jump. I even conversed with the stars, counting how many there were in broad daylight. Many times I juz want to crumble onto the grass but get scolded by QH to stand up. I oso ate lotsa tidbits so I¡¯m paying for it now. There¡¯s not much wind now but I figure we¡¯ll definitely go out & do a few hrs of hard pumping. It seems that we are forever struggling with each day¡¯s trg coz I realized that QH is adding an extra set to each day¡¯s program, hence pushing us. I think to be positive, my fitness is definitely improving coz I can do every ex properly, reducing rest time & doing each ex harder. QH is out to make us so fatigued that when we rest b4 a race, we can spring to a higher dimension of fitness. I was juz commenting to QH that zhejiang girls¡¯ forearms r very big; I think same size as Andrew¡¯s¡­juz look very thick. All of them are about 60+ kgs, tall oso. This morning, we saw them do 100 pull-ups¡­they can do as many sets as they want as long as they finish 100 reps. Wow¡­power! We still hv not kenna 100 pull-ups in our trg YET. Oh, this morn, QH was saying he muz train our tummies till ¡®mei mei¡¯, meaning lean & only abs, not blobs of fat. Ahaha¡­I was very happy to hear that. Coz all his athletes got nice 8 abs (guys). I think he¡¯s very determined¡­ I¡¯m feeling excited about training¡­coz the race is over & we can now focus on training, training, training¡­moreover, I went to Shanwei town y¡¯day. Bought a lot of tidbits for relatives as well as other stuff. Plus, I bought a regular XIAO DING DANG soft-toy for only RMB35. I¡¯m SO HAPPY to have xiao ding dang sleeping wif me every nite. Hehe¡­in Cantonese, he¡¯s called xiao ding dong! Hehe, like a mad guy. He¡¯s so fat & cute!! & he can fly when he puts up his aero-wings on his head!! It¡¯s 1 p.m. now¡­juz back from lunch. QH was saying that his hope is for me to get the breakthru¡¯, to get the GOLD¡­and for the boys to come back wif medals. They¡¯re too distant from the Thais & Indo guys¡­hence can only hope for a medal. QH urged me to have the confidence that I can get the gold as light wind conditions certainly favours me, my weight & height etc¡­ I¡¯m so excited!!!! I¡¯m growing to love training & pushing, knowing that EVERYDAY, I¡¯m pushing myself to a higher dimension; bettering myself; strengthening my character; trusting in God a little more & feeling His tangible grace day by day. I certainly miss church a great deal¡­I certainly miss the wonderful presence of God which I cannot get in such intensity here tho¡¯ I do have it when I worship Him. I¡¯m beginning to understand wat San San said abt me beginning to start LIVING when I start pro windsurfing. Coz all the time, we r pushing thru¡¯ limits & climbing to higher ones¡­it¡¯s up to me how much I want to suffer now & reap the rewards later. It¡¯s satisfying knowing that I¡¯m fully responsible for my own results, yet at the same time, scary. A good sailor will not give excuses for poor performance. If he didn¡¯t train hard, he won¡¯t get good results. Oh, did I tell u wat San San said to me juz b4 she left¡­On the prize-giving night, san san came up to me & talked to me¡­wow!!! Guess what she told me?? She told me to email her the SEA Games results & she says that she knows I can do it¡­get the gold & let her know I did it. I laughed in amazement at what she was saying & she juz nodded her head & said ¡®yes, I know u can¡­¡¯ & ¡®I saw u running hard that day¡¯ & then shook my hand. U can¡¯t imagine the encouragement I felt from that few sentences. Enough to pull me through the toughest times!! She¡¯s trained harder than anyone else to get the results she deserved!

2001 SEA Games TRIALS It's finally over!! That was all I thought of after I crossed the finish line in the 3rd and last race yesterday. So many things were going thru' my head...and yet I was fatigued to the point that I was just mentally numb. I came in 3rd in all 3 races today and that is phenomenal for my standards. For the first 2 races, I was behind the top 2 guys, Andrew & Meng and I was happy to be there. It will take Meng some serious mistakes for me to be able to come in 2nd, as I did in 2 other races. But he was careful yesterday and I made relatively more mistakes than him. It's not just a milestone for me, it's almost historic enough to be in my version of the Guinness Records. It's really not about my pumping, my tactics, my diet or preparation. It's really about Jesus in me, the Christ who enabled and empowered me beyond my human abilities. During the entire afternoon, only one thing was going through my mind...that was a song we sang in the church service early this morning. The lyrics "In every victory, let it be said of me, My source of strength, my source of hope, Is Christ alone." were just ringing all over and over again..."I'm living for this cause, I lay down my life to you alone, I'm living for the truth, the hope of the world..." At the beach while we were waiting for the races to begin, I was feeling drowsy and sleepy from a lack of sleep the night before. I was feeling grouchy, tired and physically drained. I wasn't the most enthusiastic monkey on the water...till the thrill of the race drove up my adrenalin! I remembered what my friend, Julie said to me, to look unto Jesus, not unto myself...and I reminded myself of that all the time. I had the most upwind starts in all 3 races, though not necessary having the best speed at first, but was able to catch up when sailors start to fade away as the waves can crash you down very easily unless you make effort to crash thru'. The first race, for the most experienced sailor, would be most favourable because amateurs usually take one race to understand the wind/current conditions etc...but I was kinda honed better from the last 3 weeks of racing. So my game plan was already set and I followed it...it happened to be the same route that Andrew & Meng took as well, which explained why we won. The winds were shifty and especially large angles on the extreme tacks of the course. So it was especially beneficial to sail on the inside of the course and making many tacks in shifts. Sailors who take extreme tacks never recovered and I always wonder why they continue to do so in the subsequent laps & races. The current was enormously strong over the weekends and it was logically better to stay near shore than outside. However, the gains will certainly be a lot more when the sailor takes advantage of both shifts and currents at the same time. On the reaches and downwind, it is just muscles (pumping) and riding waves. Yesterday's conditions were beautiful for riding waves and if not for that, I would never have held off the boys... During the first upwind leg in the first race, I was second to Andrew when I was caught up by 3 other guys by the time I finished my reach. Disaster! I was really feeling physically weak, the toll of the last 3 weeks' racing was taking effect then. I decided to catch back my position on the second upwind...so I did...I played with the shifts, cashed in on the guys' mistakes and way before I reached the upwind mark, I was 3rd and leading the next guy by quite some distance. Meng wasn't making mistakes already so I just had to maintain my position and not make mistakes myself. By then, I was pulling a distance of about a leg from the guy behind me and comfortably sailing past the finish line 3rd. 2nd race was a little more exciting. First we had 'star' treatment...the Straits Times photographer, May-E, was clicking away on the boat and I was both pumping hard and smiling wide for her.What a deal! So many things to focus on...amazing isn't it? My hair, my smile, my stance, suck in my tummy if there was any, and then there were the race elements, the wind shifts, the currents etc...Andrew was overwhelmed by the enormous amount of tasks during the foto-shoot that he fell in once during the reach. I laughed, evil me. :) The best part was when ONE HUGE MOVING ship started to sail towards our upwind buoy. Suddenly, there were shouts all over...Meng warned me about the moving ship as I saw him tack away...I was heading towards it...and at the same time, warning other guys. I asked Meng 'HOW??' Then I saw Andrew courageously pumping his way into the bow of the ship and attempting to make the buoy. I suddenly imagined him getting run over by the ship. :( I reminded myself not to get distracted as it would be darn easy to. As expected, about 3 guys got distracted and lost lotsa ground. I staked my claim on 3rd position and maintained it till the end. Lots of things can happen in a race and it's no excuse to be distracted by them. For a tennis player or soccer player, the crowd would be the biggest distraction. They can boo, cheer, throw flowers or beer cans...the athletes' performance must never be tagged to external factors for then, it would have been proved the greatest futility for the amount of training effort put in. Would you want to lose your Grand Slam title because of some rowdy spectator in the stands? No!! Neither should windsurfers lose the win due to moving ships, rude fishermen or bikini-clad babes in distress. Sometimes, windsurfers can have the greatest excuses from a broken batten, anchor line, rope tears, forearm cramps to collisions with sailors. Reasons are as valid as the reality of the sun, but whether we let these affect our performance SUBSEQUENTLY is totally our decision. In the 3rd race, I was pooped by then...tired and no groove for pumping. I had one of the best starts but can't quite deliver...I rounded the first round's upwind mark no. 6 or so. It was quite a disaster. I didn't pump hard in the reach so I can think better in the next upwind. I fought back in the second upwind... Thank God the wind picked up and I was comfortably planing in good speed. I climbed back to 3rd spot by then and never looked back. However, Coach Tan mentioned that I should have made sure my angle was good when I could do so, but I didn't. Otherwise, he was sure I would have caught up with Meng. I figured he was totally right. What followed was comfortably wave-riding except when I was chasing another guy to the finish line. And it was 'The End' when I heard the whistle. Phew!!! So, after 16 races over 3 months, I was finally ranked 4th (out of 11) in the Overall position & 1ST in Ladies in the National Team. I led the next lady sailor by a whopping 20 points, exceedingly more than I had imagined!! I was sorry that she was not sailing well but I just had to do my best in every race regardless of whether I was already the Ladies Champion. I was sore about the Singapore Open & Tudor results as they had pulled down my overall points disgustingly. If not for these, I would have been 3rd overall! Nonetheless, I am contented and happy. I cannot help the fact that I couldn't train much or quit my job prior to Singapore Open. But I'm glad that God, my Defender always stands strong on my behalf. The verses which really pulled me through these weeks are: 2 Chronicles 16:9 "For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him." 2 Chronicles 20:17 "You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem! Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the LORD IS WITH YOU." How can I fail when the Almighty God is with me and ONE with me...HE is IN me and I in Him...It was HIM through me...I did it through Him. Praise God!!!

Penang Swimming Club Regatta 10-11 March 2001 It has been a whirlwind month...it went by almost as fast as I thought Carl Lewis had run passed me. Training wound down to moderation 2 days before the Penang Regatta which was held over 10-11 March at Penang. It was intended to stretch me in all manners and much more, indeed, than I had imagined. We rented 3 cars and drove up on Friday afternoon with 7 sets of equipment and 2 coaches. It proved to be a longer ride than we had planned for, with much unforeseen delays. Ranging from roof racks, bladder problems, paper work, you name it we had it. :) Setting off from our club at 3 p.m., we reached Penang only at 2+ a.m. (real early!). Just when I had expected myself to be able to get a much-deserved sleep, the boys wanted supper, and beer. Off we went, to eat the famous Penang char kway teow, laksa etc...when we were done, it was almost 4 a.m. after we cleared a horrendous road construction jam. I figured I slept only at 5 a.m. The next morning at 10 a.m., we were gobbling down our breakfast at KFC before rushing to the Opening Ceremony at 11 a.m. at the Penang Swimming Club. Blah blah blah... we rigged up our gear and were on the water after lunch. There, we waited for 2 hrs for the OD to lay, relay buoys, shift and reshift the boat etc...I had to do my pre-race homework 4-5x which truly frustrated me! They just cannot decide if the OD boat be on the starboard or port side of the start line. They also cannot decide on the range of wind shifts, plus, the start line was a wee too short. The best part was, the start line port buoy was also the 3rd mark which boats will round coming downwind. And, there are 470s, catamarans & lasers racing on the same course, and windsurfers start last. I had my first shock doing my first start, when I decided it was port bias and was nicely pa0srked there...and at 1 min, charging head-on with a bunch of catamarans, 470s & lasers. I had my first screwed-up start for the regatta. Ker Wan & I had supposedly had good starts considering port start was correct. We overlooked a major wind shift and overlayed enough for the whole fleet to tack on top of us. I spent the rest of the race just trying to recover from my mistakes and finished decent. We had another race and finished well though I can't remember what position. By the way, the wind was good...ranging from 10-13 knots. Thank God we had minimal pumping that day. I survived much better than I imagined...despite the lack of sleep, jet lag and fatigue. We rewarded ourselves with loads and loads of Penang good food afterwards. From char kway teow, laksa, prawn noodles, mee chiam kuay, soya bean, rojak etc...to buying loads of pirated VCDs...Sunday's race was exciting. The wind was lighter, sometimes planing on upwind in gusts but it was otherwise, predominantly pumping for the 3 races. There were protests, changes in finish rules and arguments. I hesitate to write these accounts with optimism but I was honestly pissed off by some of our sailors, and definitely, the OD. The OD had made changes to the finish line rule only to revert it back after the race and qualify all the sailors who had not obeyed the rule. This resulted in some sailors losing their positions to those who were ignorant of the change. This caused Thye to lose his first place (including 300RM) to Andrew (who had missed the correct finish line). I had my points reverted too... and sailors who had multiple OCS and flouting of rules were not penalised at all. Unfairness and lack of integrity reigns in this regatta and many of us swear never to return again. I came in 4th in the Mistral Men's class ultimately, sailing very well and holding my own among the boys. I had insulted the guy whom I had asked if I could join the Men's class since there is no Ladies class or Open class. He had told me most gently that I could take part if I just wanted to have some fun. Sure...I wanted fun but I came to do well...:) POWERPUFF GIRLS RULE!!!!! 2001 KL SEA Games Trials 17 March to 1 April 2001 Till now, we have done 12 races in this series of 16 races to make up the SEA Games Trials. 4 of these are Singapore Open & Tudor International races. Tudor was the worst race I have in this series and the curse child. I had 10 points for both which I have no choice but to discard. My March trials races were good, having one of the top 5 scores in the team of 11 sailors taking part in this selections. In these races over the last 2 weeks, my scores were (positions counted as Overall in the fleet of 11): 2, 8, 8, 5, 5, 2, 7 & 4. We are allowed to discard 4 races in this series and unfortunate for my Tudor results and a couple flukes (storms and sudden wind shifts), I could have much better results than these. The best races are my 2 races of 2nd positions. I had one each week. The rest are average results and in those circumstances, I will focus on covering my rival and making sure I cross the line ahead of her. Ultimately, I strive for personal best races which mean top 4 positions. Everytime the conditions are tricky and shifty where wind judgement supercedes pumping prowess, I tend to excel. I got the 7th position in a strong wind race where everything bad began to snowball on the start line. I had TC Chua who was on Formula equipment, knocking me hard just as we charged off the line. I couldn't recover my rhythm and groove...Murphy's law took over from then...everything bad happened since. At the moment, I'm 4th overall in the National Team (out of 11) in this selections and fighting to climb to 3rd and keeping my Ladies champion podium to myself. I hoped I proved the point that lady windsurfers are no losers among the boys... We have had decently light training load this week...all of us were on shortboard on Tuesday when it blew up to 16 kts. I enjoyed the relaxing planing, smooth gybes and jumps. My ankles hurt now...from jumping off the lip of the waves and not landing properly. Yesterday we sailed long distances focusing on riding waves on upwind/downwind. I figured I love riding on waves...the thrills are tremendous. Coach commented that my speed sense is very good now. After 3 weeks of hard hard racing, the pain has finally taken its toll on me. Aching and in pain, fatigued and tired, even a massage session last night eased me only for the night. Everyone in the Trials is tired and the sailor who perseveres till the end wins! Though I'm leading the Ladies now, I cannot rest on my laurels. Respect my rivals and never never ever underestimate them. You never know when they can beat you unawares until you have crossed the finish line in the last race. Stay tuned for the final results...the Straits Times and Sportscity will cover this final showdown this weekends. :)

GLEN PERONI - Triathlete The Starters Gun Sports and the outdoors have been a significant part of my life since very early, so early, in fact, that my dad tells me I could swim before I could walk. My first taste of competition came in soccer and soon I had two State Championships to cherish. Cycling quickly followed and then, in 1984, I entered my first Triathlon. From that point on I was hooked to the thrill and the challenge of the swim, bike, run events. Through the early 90’s I became a top competitor in Florida and earned two National Championships. I thrived on the busy life-style and hard work and soon found myself using the physical efforts to mask emotional pains. Although I was a competitive athlete with a great job and supportive family and friends I was spinning my wheels in an effort to find direction, focus, and peace. In Transition In the summer of 1995 I realized that my life-style was simply not fulfilling my dreams of a life of peace that I could call upon in any situation. Life was good if training and racing were good and if not, well, I was not happy. My life had become very “conditional” and it was difficult because I knew there was a better way. After a couple of months of soul searching I remembered something my family had told me many times before, “No matter where you go or what you do, God will always welcome you with open arms”. This was all it took for me to get on my knees and ask Jesus to forgive me, to be an active part of my life, and to help me live each day with Him in my heart. At Every Finish Line The challenge remains; to be competitive yet cooperative, to be humble and still stand out. And, as with anything in life, I find myself being challenged and pushed to go the extra mile, to make a difference before I finish the race. I now face these challenges with an incredible friend, a friend who guides me to make a helpful difference in the lives of others. My friend’s name is Jesus Christ and he is Available and Faithful to be your friend too. As every morning brings new things my way I find that my life has the drive and purpose I had a sincere thirst for all along. And as I face each race, each challenge, I know that at every turn and at every finish line there is a friend who loves me with open arms.

JIM QUINN-- Triathlete My Goal My goal has always been to win an Olympic gold medal. When I was eight years old, I began my Olympic quest by going every evening after school to swim endless laps in a cold, murky 25-yard pool. Then one day during practice as my father watched me swim, my coach walked over to him and said, “he’ll never be a fast swimmer”. My father later told me about this, and I was determined to prove my coach wrong. I set out to beat everyone - every practice, every set, every race. The hard work paid off. By the age of twelve I was setting pool records and winning virtually every competition I entered. I continued my winning streak into high school, where I won our conference championship and received All–County, All–League, and All–Section honors, and then into college, where I received twelve All–American honors for my performances in the NCAA Championships, as well as Team Most Valuable Player. After graduating from Johns Hopkins University in 1993, I decided to channel my swimming energies into the sport of triathlon. By my second year in the sport, I qualified for a spot on the US National Team to compete at the 1994 World Triathlon Championship in Wellington, New Zealand. At this event, I placed seventh in the world and recorded a time for the 10-K run that was five seconds faster than that year’s World Champion. My Search for Happiness At a very young age I asked Jesus into my heart, and for years attended church regularly and tried to be a “good person”. But I basically lived my life without really knowing God and what He expected of me. I allowed my intuition, my ambitions and my desires to direct me through life. It was not until age 24, after having achieved many of life’s goals that I thought would bring me happiness - a good job on Wall Street, a diploma from one of the country’s best universities, twelve All–American swimming honors, and now rising success in the sport of triathlon - that I realized how empty I was. No level of success or recognition could satisfy this feeling of emptiness. Winning brought only temporary happiness, and when I lost, I was miserable. “Whoever loves money never has money enough, whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income.” (Ecclesiastes 5:10) My New Life in Christ My decision to recommit my life to the Lord brought tremendous happiness, strength and fulfillment. Now, I have true lasting happiness that can only be found in a personal relationship with God through His son Jesus. I am provided with constant strength from the one who created me in His image, who knows me better than I know myself, and who loves me more than I can possibly imagine. And I have fulfillment in knowing that the purpose for which I was created was to use the talents and abilities that He has given me for His glory. Each workout or competition is another exciting opportunity to experience Him at work in my life and to share Him with others. “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:31) My Source of Strength This does not mean that my life is free of challenges. For example, less than a week after placing first in my age division and second overall at the 1997 US National Triathlon Championship, I was involved in a biking accident and broke my right arm. Throughout this ordeal, however, God helped me to realize a new source of strength in Him. “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11) He also helped me to realize the meaning behind my injury, that it was being used by God to develop and strengthen my character to be like that of His Son Jesus. “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (James 1:2) God gave me strength to endure the pain and setback of injury and to make a comeback less than three months later at the 1997 World Triathlon Championship in Perth, Australia, where I posted the fastest time among all Americans in my age division, and ninth overall. Accepting Christ By accepting Christ, you too can experience happiness, strength and fulfillment through Him. “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31)

"Believe in yourself. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do that which you think you cannot do." *Eleanor Roosevelt {1884-1962 Political Activist & First Lady}

One of the most inspiring stories I've ever read...the closest sport to my heart next to windsurfing...indeed, Jesus is the FIRST Surfer and Windsurfer who doesn't need a sail and/or board to walk on water. What a Saviour!!!! Check out http://www.thegoal.com/ for more... JOJO DE OLIVENCA I have always been fascinated by the sea. But I did not want to have anything to do with the Creator of the sea because I was ashamed of being a Christian. I thought I would become a nerd the very day I started living as a "bible nut". I thought I had to leave everything I loved behind like the girls, the parties and the crack and the marijuana. Everyday was the same for me. I was never satisfied. Any joy I had was short lived. Soon I was back into my old boring life again. My parents talked to me a lot about the gospel. That didn't ring a bell in me. I knew that there is a God but I had decided to think about Him only when I got old, very old! . . . One day, when I was already a professional surfer, I visited my brother. He was recovering from drug-addiction in a specialized Christian recovery center, called Teen Challenge, in the city of Feira de Santana (Eastern Brazil). When I got there I saw this bunch of people with a changed look on their faces, like they had joy and peace that might rub off on you at any minute! It was then that I got afraid of dying and go into eternity without God. I decided to turn my life over to Christ completely. I invited Him to come into my mind, my heart, my blood, everything! I got soaked in Jesus, man! I began reading the Bible and putting it into practice. But I thought, "Man, these people will forbid me to do a lot of things, like going around without a shirt on my back, or go to the beach . . .!" On the other hand, I had a clean conscience that surfing was in the will of God for me. As I meditated whether or not surfing was from God or not, He gave an instant answer: I became the Brazilian surf champion in 1988. I was a nobody, but God put me right up there! What a gift from my heavenly Father! Today, my pastor is all supportive of what I do. He accepts me and so do all the kids in my church. They pray for me as I enter every competition. I was addicted to drugs for eight years. I dabbled with marijuana, cocaine and I drank a lot. When I met Jesus and I found out that trusting in Him is the best thing in life, it was as if my eyes were opened. I realized that what I lived before was artificial, like a mask. Through Jesus, I took off my mask and became a real person. I was a poor kid. I surfed with cheap surf boards. My very first real surf board I got in a competition. But God gave the title champion! God made me, an ugly looking, skinny and melancholic kid, addicted to drugs, into a brand new person. He gave me a wonderful health, lots of physical energy, and a new light in my eyes. I was a slave to sex before, and God gave me real love. God gave me Adriana, a precious jewel, who became my wife. Christ makes all things fall into place in our lives. In all tournaments, God always gave me calm and patience. God blesses me but He doesn't do the surfing for me. I can't become a champion if I don't go out there and catch those waves. You know what I am saying? So I work hard at it, I give it the best I can. When the championship was held in Florianopolis, I had lost all hope of becoming the winner for the second time in a row. Other guys had scored more points that I did. The beginning of the competition was very hard. The sea was unstable and the waves weren't good either. Besides, the other guys were good at the game. In the finals, the scorers added all points and I discovered that I could become the champion for the second consecutive year if I came in second in the last round. I prayed to God, that if He had a purpose for me beyond my joy of becoming the champion a second time, then I was willing to win again. We had a few minutes left for the final go, and I even thought of asking other competitors to "give me a hand" - those who did not depend on results anymore. But God didn't allow that. I came second and got the championship! In the last round, I always try to put two things ahead of me: one is faith and the other is determination to win. The right wave comes at just the right time – this is all too frequent. God has a direct influence on my life, in all moments. At other times, however, other things may happen. For instance, in Ubatuba, at the Town & Country competition, I came into good waves. My board was not good but I was well positioned and I had lots of determination and faith. However something went wrong. Other times, everything goes smoothly, God sends nice waves my way, but I want to show off and then I fall. The difference between us, Christians, and those who aren't Christians is staggering! When surfing or doing anything else, we must always spread the good news about Jesus Christ, His plan of salvation and the love of God for humankind. The Bible says that "the mouth speaks of what it is full of." Therefore we must always spread that which is inside of us, the Word of God. Many people don't understand us and think that we are trying to promote ourselves on top of this image - but that has nothing to do with it. Certainly there are some hypocrites who call themselves Christians but who in fact are only wearing a mask. What we really want is to spread the love of God around to people, so that many people may have a personal encounter with Christ. I use to say that Jesus was the first surfer who didn't need a board to ride the waves. He walked on the water to save his friends who were in a boat and who were afraid of the storm at the sea. Today we ride the waves on our surfboards but as people inspired by Him.

It's ALMOST a month already...time really flew much faster than I could imagine. I'm beginning to catch a glimpse of the revelation of BreakThroughs...overcoming and transcending the current limits into a higher level performance. The comfort zone is the most dangerous!!! It is where you stagnate, get complacent and stay UNCHALLENGED! Over time, you require lesser effort just to maintain the same level of performance just because one has grown familiar with the techniques. In order to break through into a higher ground, one must challenge the pain barrier...Herb Elliot, an Aussie who was unbeaten over the mile/1500, Olympic Champion and WR holder, once said that the objective is to move the pain barrier....and that he ran on fear! This quote was what my runner-friend shared with me. In addition, I was thoroughly inspired by what I read in the Runners' World newsletter: "Bad races are the result of giving in to natural urges: running fast when you feel fresh and slowing down when you start to hurt." -Joe Henderson How true and how magnificent...that which we hate to do is supposed to push us over the hurdle into a new plane. It's only when one feels the pain and exerts even more, gasp even more, feel more pain, hurt even more and keep the lungs burning. Coach always says to push thru' the pain barrier...keep pumping even though our forearms and body are burning with pain...once we push thru' that, we've broken thru' the limitations made through the confines of our bodies. I realise that for this to happen physically, the break through's gotta happen in our spirits and minds first. I could not help but think that what I'm going through is tough and I'm not up to it yet. That way, I would always feel fatigued and under the circumstances. I asked God for a breakthrough in my faith level...He said to go forth and take the land, that He's given me the land. What I did was hold high expectations for myself at my daily trainings which were unrealistic. I always aimed to come in first overall among the boys. This will be the best miracle since I always suffered the most doing the exact physical trainings as the boys. Water trainings will not be as discriminatory as land trainings. This whole week I've done well. Or so I thought. We had gusty wind conditions over the weekdays, shifty and puffs of gusts which can arm a sailor or handicap a sailor. We were able to plane most of the time and since I didn't have to pump as much, I did rather well, coming in 1st several times and others, 2nd and 3rd...mini races were the last items of a day's training. We would have done more than 2 hours of hard sailing: 4 sets of Starboard and Port tack each; sail for 4 min, focusing on stance (closing the gap and railing the board), tack and pump downwind. For this, we would have 8 times of upwind/downwind over about 1 Km each time. The second activity includes 800 pumps. We are required to do 100 upwind pumps on each tack, 4 sets in total and pumping downwind to start again. We would have done many tacks and gybes b4 we have our races which are considered quite huge for the race course. The third activity is to do a bow figure of Starboard/Port sailing for another 4 sets, focusing on speed tuning. By then, it would have been 4+ p.m. and I would have been bonked by then. We would be allowed our rehydration time on the sea, resting for 5 min b4 he starts the timing for the race. 2 sausages each. We would run 3 races each day. I learnt to look for gusts, when to tack into lifters and away from headers, point high through the waves. It was exciting for me since they are the conditions which I usually hate. But I take joy in spotting gusts and planing in them while others did not. Or pumping to plane on a broad reach while others and slowly scooping their sails. I am no doubt a better sailor now than 1 mth ago. At least I have the physical changes to prove it, in addition to the weight loss and toner muscles. The popping veins would prove the amount of pumping I had to do everyday. More importantly, I'm looking forward to shocking my foreign windsurfing friends with a whopping improvement, a lean, mean physique and a sharper attitude. Weekend races are a breeze for me now...since they make up only about 20% total effort of a normal weekday's hard work. I did relatively ok over the last 2 weekends. I sailed the correct course, no major mistakes for one wrong idea. I read the shifts fast and capitalised on them to gain over others who did not. Physically I was fresh though I was typically fatigued. We would be driving up to Penang, Malaysia for the Penang Regatta this coming weekends. I would be racing in the Mistral Men's class as there was no Open class (not to mention Ladies class). I wish I do not have to deal with such unnecessary problems as fighting for a Ladies class for me to race in. However, they exist and I have to compare myself with the boys. Good!!! The SEA Games trials would commence for 3 weeks from next week onwards. It'll be one month of packed racing, not to mention high-strung and as peaked as I possibly can! I need God's anointing and grace...Stay tuned for race results.

Check out this article which our former Laser champ wrote abt Iain Percy. Iain Percy, Olympic Gold Medallist By Ben Tan 4 January 2001 Iain Percy instantaneously became one of Britain's great Olympic heroes when he ousted World Champion Fredrik Loof (Sweden) and defending Olympic Champion Mateusz Kusznierewicz (Poland) to clinch the Gold Medal in the Finn Class (sailing) of the recently concluded Sydney 2000 Olympics. His was one of three Golds won by Great Britain in the sailing events. The nation's impressive haul attracted the attention of sailors and administrators the world over, all of whom were scrambling to study the systematic and successful programme put in place by the Royal Yachting Association (RYA) more than four years ago. Yours sincerely was fortunate enough to get an insider's analysis of the British sailing programme when we met in Scotland recently. I knew Iain from years ago, during his Laser days. He made the switch to the Finn only two years ago, in 1998. At that time, Iain weighed in at 89kg, and he has since endowed himself with a full armour of muscles to reach a competitive weight of 98kg prior to the Olympics. "Five days a week of hard work at the gym!" was his answer when asked how he did it. The Finn, like the Laser, is a physically demanding single-handed boat except that the Finn requires a heavier frame because of its larger sail area. The 24-year old Economics graduate strongly believes that systematic training is the key to success. In the two years leading up the Olympics, Iain spent five days a week training with three other equally committed full-time Finn sailors. All were fully financed by the RYA so that every one of the four British Finn sailors could concentrate on sailing and improve as a group, providing quality sparring for one another. (In the Laser class, there were eight full-time sailors under the RYA.) Instead of simply travelling on the racing circuit throughout the season, the four spent a significant amount of time systematically training together in Hayling Island and learning from one another. The training was periodized to allow the sailors to peak at selected events only. Their able coach was there to organize the training sessions - setting the time and place, laying the marks, and conducting the drills. The technical stuff like sail tuning and the finer points of sailing technique, came not so much from the coach, but rather from the sparring partners, who obviously had first-hand experience at the highest competitive level. A typical training week comprised five days of sailing, five days of gym, and three days of endurance training (usually 90 minutes of cycling). Although Finn sailing is an individual sport, teamwork among sparring partners is crucial. Information is shared and not guarded selfishly. That way, the team's standard rises as a whole, and each team member then has a higher chance of beating other rivals at the regattas. But how does one keep the team training together after the Olympic trials, when only one sailor is selected to go to Sydney? "Simple," says Iain, "The RYA plans are long-term, and the sailors that aren't selected for the Olympics are sent to other big events instead of being dumped. That motivated them to continue sparring and pushing the winner of the selection trials, all the way to the Olympics." Behind his success was a team of excellent sport scientists. Iain added that their "full time physiologist for the whole sailing team was a great help. He provided strength and conditioning advice, like setting different target heart rates for cycling, rowing, and running. I had to avoid running because of the impact on the knees, so I did lots of cycling instead. Ben Ainslie [2000 Olympic Laser Gold Medallist] relied heavily on cycling as well. We all wore Polar® heart rate monitors. Our dietician was a part-timer, but that was all right since the physiologist knew quite a lot about supplementation. As the designated team physiotherapist could not be with each individual team member all the time, she arranged a network of physiotherapists and sports masseuse around the country to see to our needs. We were all issued vouchers which where accepted by this network of specialists." Did this master of heavy seas and downwind sailing receive any financial rewards for winning the Gold? "No, there are no financial rewards for winning. What we get are indirect benefits like endorsements, invitations to give talks and run sailing clinics, and opportunities to sail big boats [where the money is]," answers Iain, who is now the CEO of a coaching company called Competitive Sailing. The motivation to win comes from within - not from financial gains, as exemplified by great fellow Laser sailors like Iain Percy and Ben Ainslie. They are the ones who make me proud of being a Laser sailor.

An article from The Straits Times last Friday...it was on a seminar which I attended on Thursday afternoon. Guess what? I had a go at touching Iain Percy's Olympic Gold medal... SAILING $1m does not buy a gold medal But available funds can be used to help athletes excel in their sport By Chan Tse Chueen FACT: Financial support is critical in bringing about sporting success. But should it come before or after the success? Long-term investment and support allowed Iain Percy to win an Olympic gold at Sydney 2000. -- ALLSPORT Singapore offers athletes a monetary reward scheme that is more lucrative than most countries: Win an Olympic gold medal and earn $1 million. So, when Olympic sailing champion Iain Percy showed his gold medal to a group of awed student-sailors from St Hilda's Secondary School on Wednesday, he was asked immediately: 'Did you also get $1 million?' Percy, one of three Britons to strike gold at last year's Sydney Games, was puzzled. When the scheme was explained to him, the 25-year-old told Timesport it has no parallel in Britain. He also noted: 'You should give it before, not after. I won't need to be given this afterwards. I don't mind, obviously. 'But it's like saying get to the destination without any petrol in the car. When you get there, we'll give you all the petrol you want.' Discussion with SingaporeSailing on joint initiatives is what brings Percy to Singapore. -- ABDUL AZIZ HUSSIN Percy, who has started a coaching company called Competitive Sailing, is in town to discuss possible collaborations with SingaporeSailing. He also shared his country's formula for Olympic success with about 60 parents, sailors and officials at the National Stadium yesterday. A heavy financial commitment is the cornerstone of British success. According to the Finn-class champion, about US$60 million (S$105 million) was spent on elite performers in all sports in a single year, largely paid for by the national lottery. In sailing, the sum was about US$4.2 million. He estimated that each elite sailor used about 55,000 (S$139,700) per year. SingaporeSailing president Low Teo Ping puts the figure at no more than $40,000 in Singapore. A national athlete can also receive a training grant from the Singapore Sports Council, capped at $8,000, Low added. The total SingaporeSailing budget, including administration and broad base development, is under $1 million. The difference is reflected in the results. Britain's 2000 Olympic haul was 11 gold medals, 28 in total. Sailing accounted for five - three golds and two silvers. The Republic is still awaiting its first medal since weightlifter Tan Howe Liang's silver at the 1960 Rome Olympics. Percy, an economics graduate from Bristol University, is convinced the medals were the result of high and well-thought out investment plan. Monetary incentive will have little impact, he added. Singapore's former Asian Games champions Ben Tan and Siew Shaw Her agree that money is not the prime motivator. Tan, who collected $250,000 for his Asiad Laser gold in 1994, said: 'I think the incentive has a role to play. But I agree with Iain that it is not balanced. The financial investment should be the more important. Then, if you win, you get a small sum, rather than the other way round.' Siew, a 420 champion with crew Colin Ng, also collected $250,000 - his share of the $500,000 team award. He feels athletes must be driven by passion, and passion alone. He recalled: 'The first time they introduced the scheme in the 1991 Manila SEA Games, it created a distraction. 'I felt the media sensationalised it and everyone just wanted to talk about the money. I felt like the years I put in were not important.' Perhaps the huge financial pay-out here was necessary because of the perceived substantial sacrifices an athlete has to make. But will the sacrifices be so severe if the system were to be more supportive? Percy, who took two years off after his graduation to train full-time for the Olympics, said: 'The favourite question I am asked is what kind of sacrifices I have made. I don't feel I have lost out in any way, except maybe time spent with family. 'The support we had is not going to make you rich, but it won't bankrupt you.