Enterprise 50

Enterprise 50 I attended the E50 Gala Dinner last Friday at Swissotel and it was nicccce. Nice in many ways, more intrinsic than extrinsic. Not Extrinsic because the ang moh food is certainly insufficient for Singaporeans' tummies. Father-in-law said we have to follow-up with supper because he's still hungry. Intrinsic because being a 'clapper' at the event inspired me to work harder and persevere towards being an awardee some day. Brother-in-law (BIL) went up stage as husband just returned from overseas couple of days ago and just felt like being a spectator. Husband took photos. BIL said that the top companies had billions $ turnover. Wow! That's something all of us would like to work towards, don't we? haha. Already, I am so proud of my husband and the company for being in top 20 almost every year. It is a milestone, a big achievement and certainly, there's more to be achieved. There is also something about a fellow lady businessperson being an inspiration to the rest of the female entrepreneurs. Haach's Ponz Goo was one of the few ladies on stage. Her red dress and her porcelain skin stood her out from the group of similar-looking black-tuxedoed men. Her company was not ranked too highly but indeed, it's successful. That's why I chose to do my facials at Haach too...I liked and identified with their company vision. I told my husband that in 2 years, I hope to be among the winners for the Startup prizes! So far, it's doing ok...it's able to finance my new vehicle which is arriving end of this month. His name is Surfsnoop. I already have my Snoopy car accessories - seat-belts, gear stick, handbrake and neck-pillows. Jetting off to Tokyo for a 5-days hols this Thursday. This hols will be our annual 'honeymoon', making use of the 2 public hols, it's a steal. Husband has planned Disneyland, Disney Sea, lots of shopping and meeting Jap windsurfer friends for dinner and sight-seeing. Not too enthu about the earthquakes though. :) Then going off to Pattaya for a windsurfing race on1 Dec for a week. At this point in time, it is not certain that there may be a Ladies category at 05 SEA Games. If none, life goes on and the prize may well be an Entrepreneurial one, rather than Sports. Between the 2, I very much prefer the Business prize. There's too many exciting things to look forward to, such as collecting my new saddle tonight! No, I've not given up cycling, but I've not been riding since LCK race. Perhaps thrice in total since Aug, each about 100km, for fun. I've no team, only friends who are always there whenever I want to ride. Isn't this more precious?

The Conveyor Belt

Life is like a conveyor belt of Japanese food, moving the many dishes along. Each plate is a different colour, of different value, each covered with a transparent plastic, alluring one to uncover it, to taste it and to consume it. Each day, different events, people and situations pass our way…much like the dishes do…they move along like little floats at Chingay, enticing and alluring us to temptation. Try me, try me, as though it is calling out to us. Sometimes the dish we uncover is great, it makes us smile and is delicious. Another dish may look nice but taste horrid. We learnt through our experiences to uncover those that we know very well, part to protect and for pleasure. Along the way are the spices of life, the wasabe. These things titillate our senses and occasionally an overdose sets the nostrils tingling! We like it that way, don’t we? It may mean getting burnt, hurt or exposed, but we do it knowing full well the consequences. Call it courage or stupidity, there is little difference between the two. I prefer to call it impulse-the excuse word for forgetfulness to consult the mind and rationale. It is strange that we continually choose this path despite being hurt time and again. Perhaps one just wants to follow the heart? There is no need to explain why, is there? Today I was forced to uncover a dish I did not expect myself to, and it was not what I expected in it. I was also not ready to pay the price stated. But I had to. The dishes came all at once and my confused mind tried to grapple with all the favors-it was bitter, bitter and more bitter. I found myself choking inside, I don’t really know what to do, what to say and how to feel? I just felt like my heart got cut. It was a strange feeling. Does this mean so much to me? Most importantly, the reason is not what everyone thinks is. But I cannot begin to explain it, it will appear like a loser's excuse. I'd rather not. My life does not depend on it, I tried convincing myself. I guess it hurts as much to behold an item of great beauty and to see it go, knowing that I cannot own it. It is better to let it go now, than never. Now I wonder if I would allow myself the courage to be discovered again? It will bring upon vulnerability, hurt and betrayal. Again, the tender heart is bruised. I wonder how and when it could be healed and fit to go back onto the saddle again. Maybe not ever again…

End of the Ride

It has been 7 months exactly since I’ve started road cycling on 16 Dec ‘03. To say the least, it has been an eye-opener to my small world of road training and racing, and delving into the deepest emotions and minds of cyclists. Though it may be too short to call it a ‘career’, the extreme myriad of emotions, the intense way I pushed myself at trainings, picked myself up after I failed and talked myself out of depression after bad rides…all worth a good long chapter in my biography. The friends I made during this period were as diverse as the east is from the west, great as well as nasty. Everything in these 7 months is intense, extreme and deep. Emotions wreak havoc when I think about the kind of investment I made and I mean, in emotional terms. It is unbelievable, even to myself…sometimes I feel guilty, at times indifferent, other times convinced I allowed myself over-vulnerable. I felt sorry for myself. All that I did was sincere, impulsive, real and emotional. To say I lived with a carpe diem attitude alone is shallow as it carried more than just a ‘seize the day’ without an emotional investment. I allowed myself to be discovered, to be revealed and made vulnerable. Against all hope of cynicism and skepticism, I maintained a genuine heart of care and sincerity. This could not, however, resist the forces of hurt perceptions and seared hearts. I became a victim instead. It brought on much tears. Cycling was a unique journey that revealed a part of myself which I never saw. I never anticipated the scenery that I would see during this ride, the bumps along the way and the many crashes I experienced emotionally. It was never, never this deep. I had not quite experienced such an emotional depth as this in quite a long time. Call it chance, destiny, chemistry, connection or pure coincidence, the fireworks came and now it’s over. Perhaps it happened too fast, too deep and too intense for comfort. The untrained heart is unable to handle. The seared heart did not even notice a difference or the wound it caused. It had done this many times, and this adds to the record, that’s all. Today, I am thinking of ending this journey on wheels. I will stop riding. The journey must end here before it puts any more strain on the concerned persons. It should not have ended this way, it should not have, and need not have. I cannot think of a reason to carry on, and the very reasons I had started may be wrong reasons. But they were reasons strong enough to get me up at 4:25am training 4 times a week and giving my all for the races. These reasons yielded decent results. These very reasons are why I should stop riding. It is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the way the wheel is.

Blasphemy?

Have I been sacrilegious in calling my rides ‘sacred’? Sometimes I feel a tinge of guilt for doing that, because sometimes, the rides really aren’t quite sacred. And I mean it in every sense of the word ‘un-sacred’. You see, sometimes I am not all focused on the task at hand, i.e. riding. At other times, I am distracted by worldly desires and pressing issues. Yet at other times, I am purely selfish – this can include, riding to lose weight, riding to de-stress or riding to have something to do because my husband is yet again out of town. The blasphemy lies in the very twist of believing my rides are sacred when they aren’t (well, not always). The dynamics of human interaction, group behaviour and social communication just adds to that complexity. I observe the way the cyclists ride their bikes, it’s probably the same way they lead their lives. Being a hopeless romantic myself, I cannot help but enjoy the romance of dawn, totally at peace with my emotions. At other times, in total emotional disaster and disarray, and that’s probably when I am distracted, too quiet and ignoring the present company. Perhaps at times, I feel like I’ve lost the affection and attention I thought I used to have. Perhaps it is the tension of uncertainty, the very same tension that can bring about excitement and a certain high. Let’s just say that women are probably confused creatures, contradict ourselves, give mixed signals and sensitive at the wrong times. I’ve just proved it, didn’t I? SACA Road Race 2, Changi Business Park 4 April 2004 It seemed like ages since the first road race…it must had to do with my very erratic life since that day. I was a workaholic the moment March began, working overtime and overworked for a sports conference my department was organizing. It ended on 13 March, during which I fell ill, boss told me no way he can afford me taking sick leave…so I pressed on. 14 March was my birthday, yet another milestone, to mark incremental aging and depletion of youth. By then, I had not gone for my rides for 2 weeks because of work and the nagging illness/fatigue. I embarked on a painful comeback on Tuesday, 16 March. It wasn’t painful, I felt like dying. My legs were heavier than lead, my lungs were deflated and my will was weak. I gave up on myself, tears already forming in my eyes, threatening to roll down my cheeks. I told my teammate I needed to pick up my fitness b4 riding with the team again. The next day, I heard 2 new ‘babes’ joined the team for training. I skipped the ‘babe-watch’ and went for my own secret ride, fighting my ghost of failure alone. Then on Friday, 19 March, I came back riding with the team again, hoping I was in acceptable shape. Coach was riding with me the 2 laps of Changi, which I was totally grateful for. He wasn’t just there for me when I’m fit, he cared to ride and pull me when I’m down and slow. He also shared about how “Dynamics relates to how a rider constantly maximizes the bike and body efficiencies to match and produce maximum power or control over the constantly changing terrain encountered in cycling.” Whatever that meant, I figured it out for myself. It helped that I was in the analytical mode for speed-testing for my new windsurfing gear. Each session, I tuned my sail differently, analysed the effects of that day’s conditions on my sail, board and fin. I also changed new fins, shifted the mast track position, and tried as many permutations of gear combination with as many wind/wave conditions. My new sail is a model of North Sails called R Type, not to be confused with Honda Type R. R Type is an awesome sail, it’s like I had jumped from a 1.6litre car to a 3litre car without being fitted with an equivalent engine. I did not have the weight to hold down the power, especially when the wind picks up. I had to tweak with the tuning and change different fins to manage the differences. You see, fins are like wheels. It’s the only contact with the water and it’s very very important. Since I started riding, I kept a diary, only include the mileage for each ride after the SACA Road Race 1 coz it was then that I learnt how to use the speedo to clock each ride’s distance. By the time I applied my understanding of speed dynamics from windsurfing to cycling, and making adjustments to the way I ride. On my 29th ride on 29 March, (how significant), I felt the improvement. I endeavoured to maintain and stabilize that new-found riding style. I wasn’t confident that I managed a breakthrough in my riding, hence not able to decide if I was going to race on 4 April. Then I thought I should just race to be there to support my team and be a good sport. Told coach I was racing the day (3 April) before race day. I turned up on race day and there goes…looking forward to more riding…Waves and wheels are great!

Life is...

Life is… "An athlete has to somehow figure out how to enrich the people around him, and not just himself. Otherwise, he's purposeless." - Lance Armstrong (Every Second Counts, page 211) Awfully true…it doesn’t sound so true until the fragility of life hits you in the face. Fresh from a series of races in both Formula and Shortboard, I was still high from the adrenaline treats racing and competing when a friend called to bring me sombre news. A friend had committed suicide and we are invited to the funeral wake. * crash * She is 23 and approaching the prime of her youth. I asked ‘why?’ and it seems, no one knows. Vera had always put on a cheerful disposition, despite me not being a close friend to her, I knew her from church youth ministry. I could not believe and I do not want to believe. It is too surreal. Everything I was doing at that time seems trivial, the windsurfing races, the career, the business, the gossip talks…what had appeared important immediately loses its primary value when juxtaposed with something of immeasurable value, Life. I would do anything to help a friend embrace hope again, I would give everything to have a friend to feel love again, and I would do anything to have a friend Live again… I wonder what is the best way to live life? How should we live life such that it is truly meaningful? Each person’s definition of ‘meaning’ and ‘life’ differs so greatly that one may murder to feel powerful and the other indulges in full-time missionary work to help the less fortunate. I do not have an answer but I figure that as long as someone is in need of love, I would give. If someone needs a lunch, I will buy. If someone needs a hug, I would embrace. If someone need a listening ear, I will be there. I guess that’s all I can do…

Asian Windsurfing Tour 2004

Press Release Courtesy Andrew Owen Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, Presented by Fosters The 10th Mana Mana Amslam, Presented by Neil Pryde 29-31 January 2004 Date: 5 February 2004 Two races were run today to open the 10th Mana Mana Amslam, the fourth event on the Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, presented by Foster’s. Defending Champion Robbie Radis from Australia took the first race but in the second he was beaten by Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo. At the end of the day Radis leads ahead of a consistent Bo Ruamsap of Thailand with Yoon in third. Every windsurfer knows the wind gods can be both fickle and cruel. For hours today the fleet of international windsurfers sat on a beach, albeit a beautiful one, and watched as the wind speed hovered just below an acceptable minimum. Every now and then gusts would arrive and a murmur would travel around the beach. But the murmurs would subside with the beach flags. Finally in mid afternoon the teasing was over and the fleet was able to take to the water. Wind speeds still hung at around 12 knots, a very gentle breeze, but just enough to start this year’s Mana Mana Amslam. This is the 10th year of the event and it has grown in both size and reputation. 46 competitors from 10 countries are competing for the title champion – and for the points they will receive towards the Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour Title. Going in to this event defending Adecco AWT Champion Robbie Radis from Australia is looking strong ahead of Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and the UK’s Paul Philips. Other sailors to watch at this years Mana Mana Amslam will be Singaporean champion Andrew Foo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap (an Asian games Gold Medallist). In the ladies division Singapore’s Rachel Ng goes head to head again with Japan’s Ayako Suzuki. Windsurf racing is quite simple with the fleet of sailors crossing the start line as a clock reaches “zero” and racers travelling around a series of buoys or marks before crossing a finish line. The first across the line wins…. And the first race was a simple “Speed Dash” out to sea, around one mark and back to the finish line near shore. Across the start line it was clear that Radis, racing on his largest Neil Pryde RS4 race sail, had the board speed to win. But both Ruamsap and Yoon maintained contact but they could not really threaten a dominant Radis. A strong first race and perhaps a little daunting for the rest of the fleet. But the second race of the day was different. Yoon, who is also racing on the new RS4 sails, was also powered up and this time rounded the first mark ahead of both Ruamsap and Radis. The Australian was clearly not invincible and although Radis recovered into second position the victory was Yoon’s. Said Yoon “I am very happy to beat Robbie in the race. That first race showed that he has good speed and that he is in form. But I managed to beat him to the first mark and that was the key. We have two more days of racing and I’m still in third place behind both Robbie and Bo so I cannot get carried away.” Tonight the fleet travels north on Bintan to the Club Med resort for another night of partying on the Adecco AWT and racing will continue tomorrow. Stronger winds are forecast with those fickle wind gods saving the best until Saturday. Date: 6 February 2004 In another day of light winds only one slalom race was held today at the Mana Mana Amslam on Bintan, Indonesia. Winning the race was the familiar face of Robbie Radis from Australia while behind him was Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap. In fourth was Wang Yew Pang of Singapore. Rachel Ng (Singapore) meanwhile continued her incredible form to finish eighth in the race, beating all the women and most of the men. A challenging slalom course was set by Race Directors Klaus Michel and Ho Kah Soon. The 46-man fleet had to travel downwind around three marks before crossing the finish line off Mana Mana’s pristine white sands. Wind speeds were very gentle at 12 knots, occasionally gusting higher. It was plain that some of the fleet on smaller boards and smaller sails were struggling to get any momentum as they worked their way upwind to the startline. As the clock hit zero and the race began Radis burst across the line but was surrounded by a close pack of chasing sailors. Foremost amongst them was Singapore’s Wang Yew Pang and TC Chua with Bo Ruamsap snapping at their heals. Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo had had a bad start and was behind the consistently impressive Rachel Ng. Ayako Suzuki meanwhile, was again struggling for board speed and lagged behind. Around the first mark Yoon carved inside of Ruamsap and Ng and jumped up the fleet. As he hit the second mark he had overtaken Chua and was closing in on Wang. Plainly Yoon wanted to go all the way after his victory in the previous race. By the third and final mark Yoon had passed Wang to take second spot and he now focused on Radis, the Australian champion. But Radis was too fast and too far ahead and Yoon had to settle for second with Ruamsap again in third ahead of Wang in fourth. A smiling Ng crossed in eighth while Suzuki languished far back in the fleet. Date: 6 February 2004 Radis was now looking more secure at the top of the leader board with one more day of racing remaining “after losing that last race to Yoon I needed this and with only one race run today it was doubly important. I’ve got a slim 4 point lead at the moment so I can’t rest. But I’m happy”. Ng leads the ladies division comfortably and is showing many of the men how to sail “well I’m very proud of my sailing so far and it’s good to be in eighth. But in such light winds I do have a bit of an advantage because of my light weight. Certainly I think that Ayako is struggling a bit with the light conditions –but I’m used to this and I’m loving it.” Tonight there is a Foster’s Party at Mana Mana Beach Club as the Amslam celebrates it’s 10th anniversary and racing will continue tomorrow (Saturday) before the crowning of the new champion tomorrow night. Press Release Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, Presented by Fosters courtesy Andrew Owen, Proteus Sports The 10th Mana Mana Amslam, Presented by Neil Pryde 29-31 January 2004 In another day of light winds only one slalom race was held today at the Mana Mana Amslam on Bintan, Indonesia. Winning the race was the familiar face of Robbie Radis from Australia while behind him was Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap. In fourth was Wang Yew Pang of Singapore. Rachel Ng (Singapore) meanwhile continued her incredible form to finish eighth in the race, beating all the women and most of the men. A challenging slalom course was set by Race Directors Klaus Michel and Ho Kah Soon. The 46-man fleet had to travel downwind around three marks before crossing the finish line off Mana Mana’s pristine white sands. Wind speeds were very gentle at 12 knots, occasionally gusting higher. It was plain that some of the fleet on smaller boards and smaller sails were struggling to get any momentum as they worked their way upwind to the startline. As the clock hit zero and the race began Radis burst across the line but was surrounded by a close pack of chasing sailors. Foremost amongst them was Singapore’s Wang Yew Pang and TC Chua with Bo Ruamsap snapping at their heals. Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo had had a bad start and was behind the consistently impressive Rachel Ng. Ayako Suzuki meanwhile, was again struggling for board speed and lagged behind. Around the first mark Yoon carved inside of Ruamsap and Ng and jumped up the fleet. As he hit the second mark he had overtaken Chua and was closing in on Wang. Plainly Yoon wanted to go all the way after his victory in the previous race. By the third and final mark Yoon had passed Wang to take second spot and he now focused on Radis, the Australian champion. But Radis was too fast and too far ahead and Yoon had to settle for second with Ruamsap again in third ahead of Wang in fourth. A smiling Ng crossed in eighth while Suzuki languished far back in the fleet. Radis was now looking more secure at the top of the leader board with one more day of racing remaining “after losing that last race to Yoon I needed this and with only one race run today it was doubly important. I’ve got a slim 4 point lead at the moment so I can’t rest. But I’m happy”. Ng leads the ladies division comfortably and is showing many of the men how to sail “well I’m very proud of my sailing so far and it’s good to be in eighth. But in such light winds I do have a bit of an advantage because of my light weight. Certainly I think that Ayako is struggling a bit with the light conditions –but I’m used to this and I’m loving it.” Tonight there is a Foster’s Party at Mana Mana Beach Club as the Amslam celebrates it’s 10th anniversary and racing will continue tomorrow (Saturday) before the crowning of the new champion tomorrow night. Japan’s Ayako Suzuki (centre), so far unbeaten on the Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, is fighting a losing battle against Singpapore’s Rachel Ng. Rachel is not only winning the ladies division but lies in eighth position overall. Date: 7 February 2004 Winds roared into Bintan today clocking up to 21 knots and in perfect conditions five full rounds of racing were run. After four days of competition Robbie Radis was once again crowned champion of the Mana Mana Amslam. The battle for second place raged all day with Singapore’s TC Chua challenging Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap. In the last races of the day Yoon managed to clinch the second place ahead of Ruamsap and Chua had to settle for fourth. Bintan was alive with activity very early today (Saturday) as winds roared in from the South China Sea. These were the conditions that everyone had been waiting (and praying) for. With wind speeds hovering around 20 knots all day and a generous sea swell the conditions were challenging. And with some frustrating light wind days preceeding this, the Race Directors had a hard day planned for the 46-man fleet. Going into this final day of racing Robbie Radis was looking comfortable at the top of the leaderboard while beneath him the struggle was furious. No favourites could be found between Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo, Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap and Singaporean sailors TC Chua, Andrew Foo and Wang Yew Pang. In the second race of the day TC Chua of Singapore showed a startling return to form finishing second ahead of Ruamsap and Andrew Foo. But then it was time for Yoon to stake his claim, this time finishing second ahead of Chua and Ruamsap. Now, after seven races only a quarter of a point separated Yoon and Ruamsap with Chua close behind. Said Chua before the race “well we have to accept that we can’t catch Radis this time. His gear is well tuned, he is fit – and he’s been to every stop on the Tour of course. But we have a fight on for second place. After recent injury worries I’m just pleased to be out there being competitive”. Yoon was more fired up saying “I just need to finish ahead of Bo (Ruamsap) and I’ll be confirmed in second place. I am going fast and I’m confident. But there’s many good sailors out there and the conditions are hard. All I know for sure is that I’ll try my best”. Across the start line all the top sailors crossed as a pack and it was still unclear who was in the lead as they descended upon the first mark. And it was Yoon ahead of Chua and Englishman Paul Philips. Ruamsap had slipped to fifth. And with everyone keyed up and flying he would have to rely on the mistakes of others. And despite the strong winds and huge swells no mistakes were made and across the line it was Radis from a jubilant Yoon, a resurgent Chua, a surprised Philips and finally a frustrated Ruamsap. There was one more race run and some of the lower places would still be settled but the top of the leader board remained the same. Radis is crowned champion again with Yoon in second, Ruamsap in third with Chua settling for fourth. Said Radis “I’m really happy to be champion here again. This is the first ever event on the Adecco AWT that I ever won and it’s special for me. We had such good conditions today that the light wind days before are all forgotten and the discards remove all the luck or chance from the result. It’s been a fantastic event and the competition has been tough. The event is getting bigger and more international and I look forward to defending my title next year. Meantime I’m now off to Saipan for the final event on the Tour – and I’ll be looking for the same result there.” The ladies division had been looking one-dimensional until today with Rachel Ng not just beating the women, but also many of the men. But today, in the higher winds, Japan’s Ayako Suzuki saw a return to form that pushed Ng back into second in the ladies. Suzuki finished an incredible 6th overall, while Ng finished in 16th overall. In other divisions Leo Leow from Malaysia won the Masters (over 40) while Tsuneoka Masahiro from Japan won the Grand Masters (over 55). The Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, presented by Foster’s, now heads to the Pacific Island paradise of Saipan for the fifth and final event on the Tour, the Marianas Open. Radis takes with him a commanding lead into the last event and it will be hard for Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo to close the gap. The Mana Mana Amslam is a prestigious event in it’s own right and it fits into the larger Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour that groups together the premier windsurfing events in the region. 1) The Penghu Pro-am, Penghu, Taiwan (November 2003) 2) The Boracay International Funboard Cup, Philippines (January 2004) 3) Monsoon Madness, Kuantan, Malaysia (January 2004) 4) The Mana Mana Amslam, Bintan, Indonesia (February 2004) 5) The Marianas Open, Saipan (February 2004) Through the season competitors at each event earn points towards the overall Adecco AWT Championship and at the end of the season in Saipan a new Asian Champion is crowned. The Mana Mana Amslam (and all the events on the Adecco AWT) is being filmed for international television and in all, the event will reach an audience of over 150 million households around the globe. The World will be watching as the 10th Mana Mana Amslam sets sail.

The Sacred Ride I rode alone on Tuesday morning. It rained so hard the whole of last night that the tarmac is tame and the air cleansed. The air felt so clean as though God put the atmosphere through an air purifier. Riding through clean air cleanses the system and purifies my mind. It felt strange to ride alone, especially so when I’ve been riding with the boys, often with much commotion, voices and panting. Fleeting thoughts of ‘why am I doing this so early in the morning?’ quickly dissipated as the peace of the dawn flooded my flustered mind. Soaking in the dew, my mind cleared itself of any ‘unpleasantry’. I thought of my life as of today, somehow all laid out before me, like the long coastal road ahead…I don’t know why I got into the reflective mode, perhaps that’s what peace and quiet does to me, it gets me connected with my spirit and I feel alive from the inside-out. That’s why I called today’s ride The Sacred Ride. It’s for me to cherish and for my God to share the moment with. I did not see my life laid out on Coastal Road in neat chapters. It came in a flash of sorts with a bang of emotions. How quickly time flew by and how far I’ve come, what have I done with my life and where am I heading? I couldn’t figure out what I felt more: fear or excitement? What does the future hold for me? In the strangest juxtaposition of flustered emotions and faith, I decided that the latter should stand, for sheer optimism. Yet, as the years go by, I feel confident, about life, myself, my capability and future. I know what to do, how to do it, and what I want! I know how to live through life, the way I want to. It’s not that bad, there’s something about growing, living through yet another birthday. There’s nothing like knowing God will be there for me in the future, after all, He’s Alpha and Omega. It makes better reason to enjoy what I am doing now, the rides, the sports, the friends and everything that God has given me in this life, and much more. I love life, but not more than Jesus! He is my everything.