27 February 2001

From a motivation email I received today...When you almost want to give up, that's the time to PRESS ON!!! Check out Michael Chang's website http://www.mchang.com "If you can dream it, you can do it." ~ Walt Disney You can, but few ever do. Why? Well, it is simple: We can all dream big (or small steps), but most people stop at the dreaming part and never take action. Why you ask? Again simple: Fear - we're all scared to move out of our comfort zone. The difference is, that people that live out their dreams like Walt Disney get scared and still take action and lots of it! End of story ... You likely already know this theory, but don't live it out - that can be the hard part. What I know personally is that my success is based mostly (90%) on my ability to take action and get past the things that terrify me. Yes, my success to date is based on my ability to do the things I'd rather not, or would rather run from - fast. After gaining the experience and confidence from overcoming 20 major fears, taking action out of my comfort zone is much, much, much easier. Why? Well, because I've been down the road so many times before that I know what to expect: 1. Feeling of extreme stress and physical discomfort. 2. Development of self-doubt and temptation to retreat or avoid the fear. 3. Decision to commit 100% to pushing through the fear. 4. Take action. 5. Stress decrease and feeling of confidence. 6. Pushed through, got a result, and feel empowered and adding another level of confidence. 7. Thinking that was not as bad as I built it up to be.

26 February 2001

It's been almost 3 weeks of full-time training and it already feels like ages has gone by. Much has changed since...let's begin from the Bio-data. I've lost 3-4 kgs ever since I embarked on the f/t training program. My sister marvelled at how 'effective' my coach's 'weight-loss' program was as she asked me what are the exercises I do everyday. Perhaps Coach may diversify his business into the health & weight-loss sector. I'm sure he'll do marvellously. I'm stuck in a stage of chronic fatigue at the moment. My body is trying hard to transcend the current stage of fitness into a higher level. I fell ill twice in the last 2 weeks. Propelling myself to train from just 2x a week to 6x a week would perhaps jump-start my body into rejection and immune-system shock. I have, however, only 2 weeks to peak for the trials. As much as I'm trusting God for supernatural intervention and blessing, I'm impatient for myself to reach a higher level of skills. For others who have been training full-time for the last 3 and half months, the results are manifesting NOW...I cannot afford that long a time...I have only 3 weeks. I need tremendous amount of grace for this miracle. My trainings begin from morning, say around 10+ a.m. where I'll be doing sets of exercises. Everyday's different so I cannot pinpoint what I do. Just on friday, coach rode on bicycle beside me while I'm running. It was a 4km run and he made sure I stick to the speed which he deems acceptable...he would scowl if my pace dropped and encourage me if I'm running fine. One time, he even said "the SEA Games Gold medal is just ahead...PRESS ON!!" and that would propel me into a sprint for the mark. ahaha...He kept urging me to hang in there and push it when it's the most painful!!!! I hate that feeling!! It's a cross between suicide and hallucination. The pain is so excruciating that I don't even have the mental energy to think to myself 'what am I doing here?' ahaha... After land training, I would be so dazed from the fatigue, most of the time entertaining stars in my vision and feeling nauseous. I would grab my cushion and lie there till I regain my sanity. The wonderful thing is, he will never let me laze on my exercises. Not if I drop the weights on my floor and flooding the place with my torrents of sweat, grimacing in the purest of pain and veins threatening to explode. He makes sure I finish the sets and the reps. These will, without fail, leave me with no appetite for lunch or any food for that matter. I would then have to force myself to gorge the food which I brought from home, distracting myself by reading some windsurfing materials. In less than an hour's time, I would be rigging up my equipment and out on water. Contrary to the beach-bum impression, training life is pretty hectic. I don't get to go around entertaining friends, speak to other bums and build sandcastles. Then it's another 4 hrs of pure pain out on the sea. He even forbids me to bring out Camelbak for rehydration to emulate race conditions. Again, he wants me to pump, pump, pump the sail...and when I feel all the pain, I'm supposed to press on through the threshold!! Don't ask me if I find the sun too glaring or too hot... I don't have the time to think about such trivials when I'm out there. I'm discovering that the life of a professional windsurfer is much of pain and more pain...ahahaha...and I'm somewhat addicted to it! Sunday's training: My fatigue has manifested. I have somewhat forgotten how to race...getting into a nervous wreck and forgetting all that I've trained for and learnt in the past 3 wks. All the full-time sailors have gotten into this trap of wrongfully performing and crashing out when it really matters. The underdogs just ate us up like bread. I must be able to separate in my mind what is pressure, ambition and desire. To deliver that which matters at the right time. It's another cycle of 6-days of training beginning from tomorrow...grace grace...

12 February 2001

It's my first rest day today and I'm in my sister's home playing with the lovely children. I've had 4 days of professional windsurfing and I have to admit I'm in pain, aching real badly and thoroughly bonked out! Each day's routine lasts from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. from Tuesdays to Sundays, Mondays being off days. We would begin each day with land trainings that is progressive and periodical. The first day of training included 200 squats, 120 bench pulls (20 kg), 140 sit-ups, 140 back extensions and 2 min hand grip on the pull-up bar. After a short nap and lunch, we went out to sea. The training prescription differs every day as we want the individual muscles to recover. I had my breakthrough y'day though and I have to say I'm more elated than I can describe. There were about 10 guys, plus me out at sea. We had constant winds of 17-20 knots and quite constant gusts on the upwinds at 25 knots for about 2 legs. We sailed huge courses, triangling among Tanah, Keta aand Padang. We ran about 4 races and by 5 p.m., all of us were whipped to pulp. I had my breakthrough in the 25 knots upwinds, sailing steadily and holding my board speed equal to Meng, who was on a raceboard 380. Even coach went "Well done!" after we reached the buoy. I had set my sail rigging according to Masako's and it worked miracles. I was hanging on to my dear life as the gusts threaten to overturn my board and catapult me. Though my veins felt like exploding, I told myself "Never give up, hang on!" and steadied the powerful gusts with the big waves. By the 3 race's upwind, my harness had torn on my butt. Wow! That $100+++ worth of harness is gone in one strong wind...it's either the harness or my back and I'm glad it's the harness. I've never sailed so well in terms of speed and angle before in 25 knots before. I seem to have caught a glimpse of the strong wind technique...I'll never fear it again, neither the huge winds expected at 2002 Asian Games. I must take care not to lose too much weight as it'll disadvantage me in winds from 25 knots to 30 knots. When wind is above 25 knots, your board that is placed on the beach starts to fly. Hope it helps your imagination. The FIGHT is tremendous, as you are pulling your sail with every ounce of your strength and bodyweight, making you realise how mighty nature is. With wings we fly, with guts we try! In the downwind legs, my speed was horrendous. I did not dare to release my outhaul for fear that I would be overpowered. I would do that the next time and ride mightily on the waves. Right now, my feet are laden with long cuts and blistered skin on my toes. My quads are totally sore and I'm on a journey to discover whether Deep Heat Rub, Tiger or plasters are the best solutions for muscle aches. Gosh...a whole new phase begins tomorrow once again. I anticipate sprints, more torture and more water-time. Stay Tuned!