9 May 2001, Tuesday We started the day off with a warm-up run and afterwards at 9 a.m., did some intense abs exercises, grip hangs & the ‘vampire’ squats. The abs exercises were the highlights of the day, targeting at the upper abs, obliques and lower back. The radical exercise was the obliques ex…we lie down sideways, criss-crossing out legs, one on top of the other. Get a partner to sit on your feet and you would do the sit-up exercise sideways, using your obliques to come up. 30 reps each side. J My palms were already sore from windsurfing and the fact that we had to hang on the thick, iron, rusty bar for 2 min creates a headache. J After land training was done, we were back for a rest plus lunch…later, the waves visited on the wind’s behalf and we went swimming & body-surfing instead. It was rather fun swimming in the surf and relaxing the body after a day’s work-out. We also saw a number of teams out there swimming together, replacing windsurfing training with a relaxing swimming session. J We had dumplings delivered to our hotel for dinner. It cost us only $25 for 4 boxes of dumplings. 12 May 2001, Saturday Full-time training is a lot more painful & tough than I had expected in every single aspect. I came to a revelation at how much ‘hard work’ & financial security plays in a sailor’s performance, all other factors a constant. Looking at the Chinese sailors here is a good example. All of them are salaried sailors, meaning it’s a job for them, hence putting them on equal grounds. Those top sailors who excel are those who train the hardest, work the most, put in their heart/soul in every single training & are ambitious. Everyone does the same training day in and day out but how HARD one works is a deciding factor which one can decide to control. Yet because the Chinese sailors are salaried, they have to press on despite feeling fatigued or not-in-the-mood to train, just as we have to go to work regardless of how we feel that day. Singapore sailors are moved by passion for windsurfing, hence when fatigue sets in, we are reluctant to continue pushing as we are no longer enjoying the sport then. We know we are not obliged to train when we are in great pain & fatigue. Yet this ‘pressing-on’ is crucial to building up an endurance which in a long time frame, is foundational in making us strong sailors. Moreover, I’m constantly worried about my finances…my family’s financial situation and how I’m not contributing to my family. I’ve not had a salary for 4 months since I turned full-time and many times, I wonder for how many more months I can train in peace, knowing that my savings are running empty and no money’s coming in on a regular basis & in sufficiency. Hence it’s not just a physical and technical struggle in full-time training. I am confident that I can and more than willing to handle the physical pain, technical understanding but the fuel that can continue to drive me on in the long term is the assurance and knowing that all other aspects of my life are taken care of. Effective full-time training is a cumulative program. Atmosphere is as important as the content of training as training in a group of good windsurfers makes it instinctive for one to assume the correct techniques, motivation and for good observation. We naturally climb up higher rungs without even knowing it. Training with others make the high training load more bearable, as the team spirit is there and pushing each other on. In this lifestyle of eat-sleep-windsurf, I think mostly windsurfing. I seldom daydreamed except when I was fatigued. I thought about what I want to achieve, how I can push myself more and further, I thought about the various techniques I need to work on and stayed alert to my goal. Knowing that I am still a foot-note in this region pushes me on…to train long & hard, it’s painful but worth it. I celebrate the fact that I am given the opportunities to extend my horizons, to push further my pain barriers and crash beyond current physical/emotional limits. There is a sort of indescribable peace in the simplicity of my dedication. I appreciated the single-mindedness of training hard during the day and holing up in my bed at night. To give up means to go back to work, which is a much easier way out because professional windsurfing is a hard, hard job (if there’s even a salary). To press on means I have to endure pain in every inch of my body, everyday. To push through barriers means I press on in moments when I feel I’m about to crash and to punish my body even harder when I don’t even have an ounce of strength left. As long as I have goals to work for, I’ll always have the fuel to drive me on & up. I can be told I only have a 1% chance to win, but I have to believe and I have to fight!! When I believe and I try, I’ll realize that I’m much better than I know; that I have unrealized capacities that sometimes only emerge in crisis. This is what drives me on…living for this cause; pursuing God’s call & knowing Him more intimately every moment. 14 May 2001, Monday: Journey to Shantou from Shanwei to visit my distant relatives: They were all so happy to see me…some were in tears. I’ve not done something like this for anyone but for Mom. It was a tumultuous journey to begin with…when uncle was telling everyone how I am ‘wu sim’ (got heart), I was kinda emotionless. Coz I din go there coz I really miss them or really want to see them. For goodness’ sake, I wasn’t born when they were in S’pore. Moreover, my generation will be the lost world. I went there coz I know Mom will be happy. That’s all! In fact, when I was there, I didn’t feel any emotion nor feeling of intimacy with any of them. Logically, I know that the cousins, uncles, aunties are all directly related to me. There’s definitely a gap. I felt more like a tourist than anything else…I was intrigued by the pigs, the photos, the ancestors’ stuff, the ‘living room’ (which they told me is the best place in the hse), the furniture, the lifestyle etc…I was really nothing more than a sociologist, perhaps. Interested in their lifestyle, thoughts, ideals etc…but I felt bad that they felt emotional towards me…I cannot augur any emotion in me, not towards my cousins too. My journey to Shantou was very exciting. Ahaha…after I reached the Shanwei bus depot, I was touted by many men, some on motorbikes & others on foot. They asked where I’m going etc…I told them. Immediately one of them told me he can get me to the bus, comfortable etc…private bus somemore. Only $80. (I know it only costs $45). Then he came on his motorbike but I refused…thinking I have to sit on the rickety bike for 3 hrs. He claimed that he’s only sending me to catch the bus. Somehow, with other rough men, they bundled me up the bike, together with many other men pushing me along…I got up, sititng sideways in my denim skirt & big haversack (containing the few kgs of tidbits & 2 pieces of clothing for the night). I sat on it for 15 min…I kept asking him if he’s for real, where he’s bringing me to, knowing that he’s lying etc…then we alighted & he made me climb this little hill…up on to the expressway itself. Well, we stood on the x’way waiting…under the hot sun…waiting…for a passing bus to shantou. I didn’t quite know how the real bus looks like but I was oredi in a ‘fix’. He told me to prepare the $80…but I said I’ll only pay when I’m in the bus. A few buses didn’t stop. Then finally the most dirty looking and rickety bus stopped…he paid the rough guy some $$ & I got up. Meanwhile, he pulled me down, asking me for his $$. I took out a handful of $$, containing only $44 & gave it to him while forcefully making my way up the bus while he was still pulling me down. Then he counted & realized that it was less than what he was supposed to receive. The bus moved off & I saw him running hard after the bus, shouting for his $$. Aha!! No way I’m getting tricked by him k…cheating me of $ & making me wait under the hot sun for passing bus. I was already cheated by this man. Anyway, I immediately confirmed if the bus was going to Shantou. It was a passing bus that goes to many places, Shantou being one of them…& u can drop anywhere u like. I saw many pple alighting on expressways. Strange. The guys in the bus were out of this world…not the common china man…too rough & dirty. Ahah…the guy accompanying the driver ignored all my questions. I still didn’t know where the bus is alighting me in Shantou. Shantou is real big. Anyway, the seats were actually beds, very narrow & double-decked, real dirty & crude. From the outside, it looks worse than a prison. Ahaha…but I never knew I could be on one. I juz sat upright, sideways, behind the driver thru’ out the 2 ½ hr journey. The guy would juz spit out of the window, or splash the tea water on the floor leading to the door. Everything will go there…aiyah, very dirty lah. The ride was very rough…so are the people. I knew everyone was staring at me. Finally, 1 hr to Shantou, this man came to the front & spoke to me in Teochew. He was helpful & asked me where I’m going. I didn’t know where to alight etc…I called 3rd uncle & put him on the line with this man. They arranged to drop me off at the train station & told the driver. THANK GOD!! 17 May 2001, Thursday We had our ‘SEA Games selections’ AGAIN…and I dare say it’s the worst selections I ever had coz we had 7 races in one afternoon from 1:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. Back to back (one immediately after another; no rest) races in 10-15 kts wind, half-mast waves…by the 6th & 7th races, I was pooped & fell in several times. I had done well in the first 4 races, finishing juz less than 10m after Meng in the first few races. I didn’t expect to have so many races so I worked my heart out in the first few…and got too tired by the 5th race. Andrew sat out the 6th & 7th races & QH took over his board. And the best part is, the race course was HUGE…Olympic size…we couldn’t see the buoys from anywhere except nearing the mark itself. Not to mention trying to spot the Upwind mark at the Start line. It was a trying day for me…we also had land trg at 6:30 a.m. yesterday as well, doing 3 sets of pumping, sit-ups/back extension & frog jumps. We rested in the morning…in fact, lying in bed till lunch-time. Got down to beach at 12+ p.m. & back in hotel at 6 p.m. Ching decided to sleep at 8:10 p.m. while I was trying to get out of reality (ouch!) by watching Doraemon. I followed suit & woke up only at 7 a.m. QH gave us a break for the morning today…yay!!! Even now, we r still lying/sitting in bed, our backs too sore to enable us to move around much. I’ve had a cup of coffee, some biscuits & drinking cereal now…oh, and having my facial mask on. Hehe… 22 May 2001, Tuesday 13 days away from being home-sweet-home again. What a wait…3 of us are counting down day by day…missing home & talking about what we want to do when we are home. We were in Guangzhou the last 2 days, staying one night at the airport hotel (bagus!!!), giving us an excellent excuse to take a break while sending our pals off. We really pampered ourselves coz it cost us $438 a night & we took 2 rooms. We are spoilt now…returning ‘home’ to our crappy hotel took some getting-used-to. Ahaha… Shopping in Guangzhou was quite alritez…I thought I would not need to spend much here…true but not in GZ. Hence I borrowed money from Jon for shopping & we call him Ah Long ‘Seng’ now (coz his surname is Seng). Ahahaha…so many stuff to buy & feeling so happy. I bought myself a pair of Teva sandals, a pair of Merrell trekking shoes , VCDs (Driven; Enemy at the Gates, Lao Fu Zi & Pay It Forward) & 2 Giordano tops. I also bought a pink Minnie Mouse air sofa for Ruth & Joan (my lovely nieces). Ahahaha…I’m sooooooooo happy with my best-buys…hehehe…& secretly proud of myself for getting them at such bargains & yet, they are genuine stuff. I was intrigued by the 45 degrees print on the Merrell shoes (my boyfriend’s sail no. is 45) which thoroughly matches my 37 degrees board shorts. We went for non-Chinese food while we were there…ate Mac’s & Pizza Hut. Ordered pizzas & spaghetti, chocolate drinks, Cappucino etc…wonderful!! Makes all the suffering more worthwhile after all. On our return journey back ‘home’, we endured a 4-5 hrs long bumpy bus ride with a flood jam towards the end. It was spectacular & I was so engrossed I forgot to take pictures. The flood was a sight, as we saw china-men cycling in knee-high floods, with one hand holding an umbrella (it was raining). These people are very fit indeed! Ahaha…moreover, my coach-mate was not the more considerate sort of girl. She would jab me in my side everytime she reaches into her bag for more melon seeds. And when she talks on her mobile phone, I would instinctively veer away from her as she’s practically SHOUTING into the phone. At times, she would take out her bracelet and start thumbing on the beads. Yes, she must be a Buddhist. And she must have been worshipping the ‘karate’ Buddha-of-Fury or she wouldn’t have known how to jab coach-mates in their sides. After some time, I would lean away from her as her legs begin to widen and her arms start to open up…I figured she could be feeling warm and hence, airing her underarms. *evil grin* J Btw, 3 of us were seated on the first front seats. We were also entertained to Chinese Karaoke. I had a double bonus treat!! My coach-mate was singing along to the Father-Mother songs. They love songs with father, mother, nature themes. Titles range from ‘My mother’s sheep-skin coat’, ‘The Mongolians’ to ‘My most wonderful Father’. My coach-mate apparently is an ‘IN’ girl as she knows all the songs and I could hear the audible singing from my left. Scenes always include the sky, sea, buffaloes, naked young boys splashing in the rivers, Sheep, Mongolians and family scenes. If not for the spectacular flood, I would have been bored from the Karaoke songs & my coach-mate.