Rusty's Diary: Thurs, Friday and Sat (22- 24 Mar '07)

Thursday: I am so happy to be going to the beach again. I can smell the sea from far away. Today we found a big stick and we played 'fetch' in the sea. I was so full of energy today, I jumped, hopped, sprinted and swam. Rachel threw the stick far away and I would swim to retrieve it. I never get tired of it so we did it again and again...I spent the rest of the day sleeping in the shop. Thank God it's Friday...Double Happiness: Beach + BBQ. I can smell the BBQ pit nursing its fire and the raw food nearby. Rachel motioned me to go to the beach and I knew fun is in the air. I leaped into the sea with great gusto, with the BBQ at the back of my head. I went crazy...I ran and sprang!! Woohooo...we played lots of 'Fetch' and after 15mins, I had to go for my shower. I love the towelling down best...I love to be hugged and rubbed!! hehe. My nose led me to the BBQ pit again...and my patience was rewarded when the food was cooked...I had my share of steak, lamb and dunno-what. Did I say it was a great sumptuous afternoon? After all was done, Rachel went back to the shop. I couldn't endure the smell and kept going to her to whine, and whine and whine...finally she brought me out. I hang around the boys, hoping they'll drop me some food! haha. Saturday: Windsurfing time! This time round, YY joined us with a camera in hand. I seem to be the star as I always have to look into the camera. Am I a star? There was no wind, but we tried to windsurf, in the big waves. It was so fun. Sometimes I jumped off the board to swim arou and. Then I'll struggle to get back up again. Rachel will pull me up by my coat and I'll be happy sitting on the board again. We posed in all directions and had alot of fun. I saw 2 Chihuahuas on the beach with their owners and decided to check them out. I leaped off the board to disturb the tiny dogs. 2 of them are not bigger than my leg. haha. They were scared of me so I came back to the board. Windsurfing is so fun! I lazed in front of the shop to sun tan...after I was dry, I duped Ker Wan to walk me to the beach to pee...and while he wasn't looking, I dipped in the sea again. Sure, I got scolded. Another highlight of the day was when Peanut Butter Man came with peanut butter bread for me. I love these guys. Life's a beach!

Rusty's Diary: Tues, 22 March '07 Windsurfing day!!

Rachel thought I'm staying away from the sea after y'day's puking session, huh, no way! U know what I did? Once we reached the club, I ran straight to the sea for a dip, defying her instructions not to go. See, I do not believe her 'stern' commands anymore because she doesn't mean it ahaha...if I really make her angry, the most she does is give me a soft spanking on my face or paws. I wonder why as it doesn't hurt! I have a very thick fur coat. Anyway, I went swimming by myself, just to prove a point...I'm a sea-dog, hehe. Rachel always lets me disobey her because she wants me to be a happy doggie as well, and swimming is not destructive to anyone/thing. Plus, I get a nice towelling from her :) As usual, Rachel made me stay outside the shop to suntan (dry myself) while she does some work. This is another activity I love to do, lounging in the sun with a bone in my mouth...there's always a bowl of water outside the shop, a tennis ball, a silly cat toy and some treats she keeps somewhere if I'm a good boy. Life at The Windsurfing Shop is a beach...*yawn* 'Go Surfing' made me JUMP!! She meant it, because she went to this changing room and I alway know we are going somewhere when she gets out of the room. I couldn't hold my excitement and whined a little...she went 'wait wait...' Then we went out and she took this boat-board called 'Windglider' and a tiny 2.5m sail. We are going windsurfing! Before we went out, she made me try on this horrible life-jacket which prevented me from being able to walk. She asked me to 'go', but I stumbled...she laughed and laughed, I felt so horrible and embarrassed! Dogs walk around 'naked', my dear, we don't need 'clothes'. Plus, did I remind you that I am a champion swimmer-doggie? haha. We launched...I wasn't sure what to do after I jumped onto the board, I jumped off again. I can tell it wasn't what Rachel wanted me to do. She 'growled' at me, *snigger* Maybe I was supposed to stay ON the board? Soon I was swimming after her...hey, wait for me...I put my front paws on the board and she pulled me up with the life-jacket. I sat like a good boy while she windsurfed, further and further from the beach...Hmmm....I never swam that far before, it looks scary, but FUN. Its like sightseeing and how many doggies get to go windsurfing like me? I began to feel really cool, and so blessed to have such fun activities everyday. Did I mention that her bikinis are red and rather nice, though I prefer yellow, as it matches my Golden coat bettter? I have done this before so I did not get sea-sick this time...I'm enjoying it, baby. Rachel got tired so she lay down beside me, later on, she used me as a pillow. It's fine with me as I'm a really strong boy, and at 34kg, if I don't want to go somewhere, I'm not moving! hehe. At times, she'll sit beside me and we'lll talk, she'll ask for 'kiss' and I'll lick her on the face. Did I mention that I love the smell and taste of sea-water on her? Always make me feel at home and excited. Suddenly, she pushed me off the board and I realised I had to swim...oh, I had a life-jacket, this is quite nice...I'm floating. She started paddling and I swam really hard chasing her...so close and yet so far. I swam for a long time, but one thing I'm sure, I'm not drinking the sea-water...I cough out the water as I know it'll give me a bad tummy. Finally, I give up...I think she's making me swim hard just for exercise, so I decided to go back to shore myself. I cruised to shore and she called me to go to her. I stood at the water's edge and yelped...She brought the board nearer and I jumped on it. Yay! I can sit on the board again... It was so nice I almost fell asleep. Finally, we went back to shore, Rachel had to wash the gear and dirty dog me. I was so tired balancing myself on the board, I slept the afternoon away. Dinner is always fantastic...they spent a long time in the kitchen, I just slept there waiting...when the rice-cooker clicked, Rachel put rice in my doggie bowl, cracked an egg, doggie Supplements on top, mixed them all up...boy, my meals are made in heaven. There's this yellow 'plasticky' pill in my bowl each time, I always wonder what is it but I eat it anyway. She always says to me these will make me a handsome and strong doggie. Ahem! After dinner, I laze around the TV area and whenever there's food, you can trust me to do my work. haha. Life's a beach...

A day in the life of Rusty

I am a 4 yr-old Golden Retriever boy and recently, I had a new family. I also had a new name, Rusty. I used to be called Harvey but it's ok, I will come to you if you call me with either. I love my new home, it is big with a nice garden, lots of options for pee and poo-ing. There are some fish ponds where there are koi in them, I've to be careful not to fall in it as I don't want to smell fishy; it's very shallow but with my superb swimming skills, it's pup's play. Lots of places to walk to, and many doors but I am a very quick learner. I was allowed to go upstairs a few times to see the jacuzzi, gym and rooms, but not recently...I guess maybe I leave too much fur behind haha. I love the words 'Go Surfing' and I go crazy when I hear that. I must share with you what I did on Monday. It was Rachel's off day on Mondays...these 2 weeks she's been very busy with housework. She was mopping the floor, doing laundry, cleaning toilets and shooing me off the floor every now and then. I almost lost all hope of an outing when all of a sudden, at 4pm, she told me 'Go Running'. I took the leash in my teeth and waited for her to get changed. I was so excited. You must understand that I don't get to go surfing on Sundays. It's my saddest day in the week as I am Home Alone. I love Tuesdays to Saturdays as I get to go with her to the beach! Yippee! She's ready! Off we went...I was so excited I sprinted out of the house...Rachel told me to slow down as we have a LONG way to go...what does that mean? We trotted along...past traffic lights, roads and sniff!! roads I've never been to. I kept plugging away...dogs like me never quit, we always follow our owners till we die (not knowing it). We passed canals that never seemed to end...finally I met a pretty Golden girl, then a mixed Lab puppy and some dark-looking people who seemed afraid of me. I always wonder why because I long to love people and I never hurt anyone. We crossed bridges...sniff! I smell the sea...wow, I think we are going Surfing!! We reached the beach after 45mins of running. That was quite a distance for me. Rachel did not allow me to swim even tho' I tugged towards the sea. She brought me to this Cable Ski park where people were going round and round...I tugged towards the pond as I wanted to jump in to swim. She stood there watching and I am restless...finally we walked to the beach. On the way, she made me stop at this shower and I thought I had to take a shower now? I don't understand why she keeps pointing my mouth towards the water? I am only thinking of the sea. Can we go now? Yay! We reached the sea and she unleashed me. I ran into the sea like a crazy doggie. I was so thirsty I drank in tons of sea-water. Wow it never tasted so good. I swam and soaked, she walked and teased me to run after her...the beach is endless, i love it. I must have swam for 20mins and also drank that amount of sea water. Suddenly, my tummy ached! I stood on the beach in pain...Rachel was so worried, she started wiping the bubbles off my mouth and she took off my collar. I can breathe, my dear, it's my tummy that hurts...the water built up in my mouth and I puked big time!! Rachel fussed over me, she thought I was dying. haha...I was silly to drink up the sea. Puke I go again. Arrgghhh!! She asked me if I'm ok and to rest at a nearby bench. I lay down and nursed my tummy. Everything's churning inside. Rachel called Ker Wan and told him RUSTY cannot make it. Boohoo...I can I can, I can walk back, just watch me! I showed her I can walk...wait, I've to poo first. Call it diarrhoea...it went straight into the soil, nutrients, they call it. I was determined to walk home, what if she doesn't bring me out again? I can't imagine that. So I walked and walked...I ignored all the dogs along the way... After 50mins, I can smell our estate...yay! The gate opened and I heaved a sigh of relief! Oops, she took out the shampoo which means I can't rest yet. Rachel is very particular about clean doggies so each time I surf, I've to shower too. Did I tell you I love it when she towels me dry? I love to be hugged and rubbed!! I remember my tummy ache now...I also lapped up the entire doggie bowl of water. My tummy feels funny and I did not finish my dinner. It's a waste, especially with the egg. I'll wait till supper time, just don't throw it away ok? Goldens don't waste doggie food!

2 year Hiatus

It's been at least 2 years since I blogged! Perhaps I stopped reminiscing and being introspective about life. Or just taking a break? Lots happened...I was no longer dabbling in Sports Management anymore. Now I own a windsurfing pro shop together with my husband but of coz he keeps his job (to bring in the bacon). For the shop/biz, it's already almost 2 years...you can imagine the amount of change, work and foundation to put into this baby. I can't really blog about my business as it's not nice for my customers to hear this. That said, I must say that it's one of the best things to happen to me, and I really am enjoying every moment of it. I love windsurfing and kitesurfing, it's not a dream job, it's a dream! My business trips are sometimes races, attend windsurfing events, meet suppliers etc...always interesting and 100% my passion. Everything gets me really hyped up, I think about my biz 24/7 and there's no such thing as off day or 'after office hours'. I sincerely want to give my customers my very best, from customer service, advice and quality of equipment. I love racing...i've been windsurfing for 15 yrs and it's one of the best things in my life. Windsurfing gave me an adventurous life, wonderful friends, unforgettable experiences, a husband and a healthy body! Among all the different sports and trainings, windsurfing is still top on my list. Cycling is great, fast, finesse, techniques, tactics and i like the idea abou t good gear. Triathlons is great on pain factor, endurance, mental stamina and 'nice bod' too. Running and track stuff...enough....golf is nice social game...I don't know when I can end this...I am trying to say wind/kitesurfing are the best! I miss pain and hard training! , I'll be blogging as Rusty Harvey, my beloved best buddy Golden Retriever, whom I adopted in December '06. I endeavour to see life thru' his endearing life, as he has taught me much even in these 4 mths. Life is so much more meaningful with Rusty in my life and I can never imagine otherwise. Rusty is the most gentle, loving, endearing 4-yr old GR, all 34kgs of him! His favourite sport is windsurfing! Woof!

Asian Tsunami Relief Operations Missions Trip 2-8 May 05 (New Creation Church) Venue: Phang Nga, Krabi, Khao Lak and Phuket (Thailand)

My Reflection I thought through how I was going to pen down my thoughts about this mission trip. Initially I thought it was going to be a breeze as there were so many wonderful things to say and to share with all my friends and family. Good things are easy to say, isn’t it? Not so. Then I found myself struck with inertia and speechlessness. Or perhaps I am still mired in awe of the miracles that took place and in adoration of the God I served. I am merely speechless. The Devastation: The devastation was evident in the eyes of the people. The sadness, grief and emptiness pierce deep into my heart and screams helplessly into my spirit. If I thought I had known what is pain and loss, check out these people who have lost their homes, their livelihoods, their loved ones (some, their whole families) and face a life ahead of emptiness, loneliness and purposelessness. The pictures of the dead, decomposed bodies, missing persons posters make one numb! That’s what it does to me…it sucks out the life of me, and leave me numb, lifeless and unbelieving. These bodies were black, bloated and beyond human form, most still had their clothes on, the beachgoers were still in their bikinis and trunks which became identification tools. Pictures of tattoos, watches, rings, and other accessories were quickly used to be identify the person. These people are devoid of human respect, reduced to no more than items to be identified, and short descriptions of ‘Foreigner, Thai, Male/Female or Child’. These were poignant scenes that will reside in my conscious mind forever, reminding me that eternal life is the most important thing in this earth, as our bodies will die and decompose one day, and be no more than items to be burnt. Relief centres were set up at venues where villages were destroyed. In place of homes were identical small containers neatly built in rows. One for each family. There will also be a Temporary Health Care Unit to tend to the sick and ill. Babies were mostly naked (only saw 1 baby clothed) with no milk powder to drink. The men were usually not around, loitering around looking for work to do or chatting together with the other men. The women took care of the children, hung up laundry and chat with neighbours at their door-steps. Life was reduced to living by the day, waiting and nothing to look forward to. After the tsunami, the weather became intensely hot, dry and dirty. Children and even adults were seen sitting helplessly, hosing themselves down for long periods of time. Human pride and stoical attitudes were prevalent in one or two villages. Perhaps it was due to the hardship they’ve been through, they were stoical in front of us, rejecting our help, receiving only our food donations. Their expressionless faces reveal their lives as it is, lifeless and meaningless, yet unwilling to embrace change and help. Grace and mercy to them. The land was bare. One has to look at a pre-tsunami picture to know how a place used to be. Before us were stretches of bare lands with coconut trees standing tall that survived the storms. Resorts, houses and buildings were simply swept away wholesale. God showed me that what is man-made will not survive the storms of life, but what is of God will stand tall and live! How a great revelation this is to us who put priority on material things and trust in man. Such things will fade away but the Word of God will live forever. The Restoration and Miracles: The New Creation Mission Team visited the following 10 villages: Sankoo, Klong Dao, Nai Rai, Khao Lak, Putheao, Nan Kim 1, Nan Kim 2, Nan Kim 3, Bangniang and Ka Kat. If I could write the lessons learnt and revelations of God’s grace and love into books, the world would not be big enough to contain. The team penetrated the dark side with no prior knowledge of what we should not do and what is impossible. We were armed with 2 weapons- Gospel and the Anointing. The Gospel reached the depths of the hearts of the broken-hearted, lost, lonely and grieving. The Anointing pulled them out of the broken state and restored to them an overwhelming sense of peace and love. The miracles were both spectacular and supernatural. When Wasana was slain in the spirit, man saw the spectacular presence and anointing of God. I was more touched and most awe-struck when the Love of God embraced Keaw so aggressively and yet so loving. Even my fellow Jouchae who laid her hands on Keaw behind her, was touched by the anointing love and was sobbing. I realized that indeed, at the end of the day, what truly matters and that which touches the deepest depth is the Love of God. The Love is the eternal and the permanent anointing that heals a person from the inside-out, not outside-in. This loving feeling will remain clear in my mind, especially in times when I feel lonely and empty. When we asked Amber, the American missionary stationed in Chiangmai, why she is in missions for so many years. She said that when she sees lives changed and hearts healed, she knows it’s all worth it. Well said, what price can we put to healing for the sick/injured, love to the lonely, joy to the grieving, a smile to the sad, a sense of purpose and destiny to the lost and prosperity to the poor? At what price? The life of Jesus Christ! God paid the ultimate price with His Son so that we can be heirs with Him and receive all the blessings. How great and how awesome is His love. Fellow missionaries: Fellow missionaries just like you and me, salaried workers who live in decent urban comfort but who complain about stress and everything-not-enough. The mission trip made angels out of the worst ‘devils’ in us. Praise God that He is Lord and is Boss. ‘Room-mate’, as Samantha is called, is a funny girl who doesn’t know she is funny. Real, sincere and unaware of who she is, stumble along life with joy and simple pleasures. From Day 1, I felt led to tell her that she must receive the gift of tongues and learn to speak the heavenly language. This will help her to move in the spirit and all those things. For nights, I also took it upon myself to urge and encourage her to rise up beyond where she is, to fly with the eagles and not walk with the turkeys. That she must realize the potential God has placed in her, and to discover the destiny and calling God has placed in her. We talked till 2-3am on most nights. When I am not around, she takes care of my Snoopy and talks to him as I had instructed. Snoopy is my soft toy who comes along as my surrogate husband for hugging purposes when I sleep. Room-mate would turn on the TV for Snoopy to watch while we go out on missions. She does a great job of practising the Thai massage on Snoopy without accepting a baht. Thanks Room-mate, future Daughter-in-law, as she says she is now Snoopy’s girlfriend. *faint* That’s Room-mate for you. Last night, we had sms-Beach-talk. She sms-ed to ask if Snoopy misses her. Yeah, he did. A pretty version of ‘Golliwog’ is Jacquelyn, with ‘lyn’, not ‘line’, as she specifically tells me. Ok, noted, Jac. Golliwog has strange curly hair at the ends, and jet black hair which God must have accidentally poured black ink on her hair when He was creating her. I shall ask God when we all go to Heaven one day. Golliwog is my age and half my size. She likes bright green panties, oops! Golliwog is really nice, and quite a confidante I am sure. We could share many chapters of our lives, and thoroughly understanding how we feel, without pretending to (which some people do). You know what I’m talking about?! She’s gonna be one gal I’m hanging out with. June, not May or July…is the spunky lady who went scuba diving in Phuket 2 weeks before our mission trip. She asked me head and tail about skydiving in New Zealand, windsurfing, kitesurfing and other exciting stuff. My deepest conversation with June was when we were indulging in the 2 hours Thai Massage. I told her I would call her out for golf one fine day. It was funny that her golf club is near my home (east) and mine near her home (west). Deacon Raj, better known as the interesting guy who has hair in his ears. He is so cool and secure in the Lord that stares from people don’t bother him one feather. He is anointed, real sweet and who else had waited up for me and Room-mate (and also James but Deacon didn’t really care about the guys haha) till 1:30am in the morning as we hung out late at night without telling anyone? I’m touched! Many wonderful new friends I made but I just don’t have the time to do a description of. Forgive me. I am Changed! I am just so changed, inside-out and outside-in! My perspective of life, God, family and everything is now saturated with a purposeful touch! No, I’m not talking about objectifying the poor and making myself feel fortunate and blessed, at their expense. No. I am now so sure of myself, my calling and my destiny. I am so sure of my place in this world, and what I can do to make the world a better place, knowing that God will back me up and indeed, God WILL SHOW UP! I was surprised my husband could still recognize me as I am indeed changed! Ok, cut that out, corny. I endeavour to live each day with the intimate consciousness of His love and grace upon my life. All of Jesus, None of me. Testimonies: Below are testimonies of the ladies I had the privilege of praying for and laying hands on. All glory to Jesus that they experienced healing almost instantly and more importantly, knew that Jesus loved them and received Christ into their hearts. Testimony 1: Maliya, 30 years old, has the condition of suddenly slipping into a coma and unconsciousness, and in the process, hurt herself quite badly. She showed wounds of her injuries which included stitches from the falls. Her eyes also cannot see properly. She has been having this condition since she was 14 years old. After prayer, she testified that she felt light and her burdens removed. She felt a transfer of faith that she is no longer worried and is confident that this condition will not come back again. Testimony 2: After the first prayer, Yupen, 48 years old, felt that the pain in her leg had eased a great deal. Upon a translation of her testimony, we prayed a second time for complete healing and she testified that she felt heat went through her leg and the pain was completely gone. Testimony 3: A few days before the tsunami, Wasana, 34 years old, experienced seizures and had many problems which she never had before. It was suspected that she may be spirit-possessed. She also does not know how to handle such attacks whenever she has them. She had received Christ when she was 7 years old but did not further her christian journey and growth as her husband (who left her for another woman, did not allow her to go to church). After the first prayer, she said she felt her hands shivering, suddenly cold and felt the presence of God. She was tearing and wanted more prayer. A second prayer was administered and specifically, casting out demons or spirits in her. She was slain in the spirit for about 5 minutes. When she came to, she said she felt weak and still shivering, but a big burden lifted off. She later invited us to her home to pray over her mother and son, as well as over her home. We advised her to rid the idols in her home and anointing oil was used on the doorposts and windows in her house. Testimony 4: During the tsunami, On (44 yrs old) was pushed into a phone booth and she injured her back. After prayer, she testified that the pain is all gone and she is healed. Testimony 5: Arirat (39 yrs old) had headache for a couple of years which comes suddenly. This could be due to worry. Peace, clarity of mind and freedom from worry was prayed on her and after the prayer, she testified that she had the faith that the headache will not come back again. She was joyful upon feeling the peace and had faith that she is healed. Testimony 6: Noosent (39 yrs old) experienced headache, possibly migraine, which was very painful and all over the head. After the prayer, she said the headache was completely gone. Testimony 7: During the prayer, a strong anointing of the love of God was prayed on Keaw (28 yrs old) and a tangible love anointing broke her into sobbing for almost 10 minutes. She did not respond physically to a hug but cried uncontrollably and remained hugged, and releasing all the grief she felt inside. Later, she testified that she lost her elder sister in the tsunami and she revealed that she really missed her. She now feels peaceful in her heart and feels the love of God. This lady showed the suicide wounds on her wrist. This lady was greatly ministered to by the love of God and that healed her broken heart. Testimony 8: Jamya (50 yrs old) had pain in her legs (operation wounds) from a motorbike accident 4 years ago and her body was also aching. After the prayer, she felt much better. Testimony 9: Bem (52 yrs old) has asthma and breathing difficulties which gets worse due to cough. Her lungs would be in discomfort and her symptoms appeared to be Pneumonia. After prayer, she testified that she felt much better and just as the team was leaving the village, she testified that she has easy and clear breathing. She started to smile and looked visibly joyous and relaxed. Testimony 10: This elderly lady, Lun, 65 yrs old was sitting in a corner with a walking stick by her side and a friend beside her. She was invited from the next Muslim village which was presumably not receptive to the gospel and non-Thai speaking. We had not known these facts. We felt led to ask her if we could pray for her. We prayed for the joy and peace of the Lord to come on her. She had tears in her eyes and she testified that even the pain in her knees were healed. She felt much better during the prayer and her friend testified that she is visibly changed after the prayer in all these years. She had also, in the past, rejected 2 local pastors' prayers. She had, however, allowed us to pray for her, revealing that indeed, the favour of God was on the NCC mission team. Testimony 11: Before prayer, the elderly lady's eyes were hurting, she was feeling nausea and dizzy all the time. Her knees also hurt. She had these conditions for many years and after prayer, all the pain and discomfort were gone. Praise God and all Glory to Jesus!

Enterprise 50

Enterprise 50 I attended the E50 Gala Dinner last Friday at Swissotel and it was nicccce. Nice in many ways, more intrinsic than extrinsic. Not Extrinsic because the ang moh food is certainly insufficient for Singaporeans' tummies. Father-in-law said we have to follow-up with supper because he's still hungry. Intrinsic because being a 'clapper' at the event inspired me to work harder and persevere towards being an awardee some day. Brother-in-law (BIL) went up stage as husband just returned from overseas couple of days ago and just felt like being a spectator. Husband took photos. BIL said that the top companies had billions $ turnover. Wow! That's something all of us would like to work towards, don't we? haha. Already, I am so proud of my husband and the company for being in top 20 almost every year. It is a milestone, a big achievement and certainly, there's more to be achieved. There is also something about a fellow lady businessperson being an inspiration to the rest of the female entrepreneurs. Haach's Ponz Goo was one of the few ladies on stage. Her red dress and her porcelain skin stood her out from the group of similar-looking black-tuxedoed men. Her company was not ranked too highly but indeed, it's successful. That's why I chose to do my facials at Haach too...I liked and identified with their company vision. I told my husband that in 2 years, I hope to be among the winners for the Startup prizes! So far, it's doing ok...it's able to finance my new vehicle which is arriving end of this month. His name is Surfsnoop. I already have my Snoopy car accessories - seat-belts, gear stick, handbrake and neck-pillows. Jetting off to Tokyo for a 5-days hols this Thursday. This hols will be our annual 'honeymoon', making use of the 2 public hols, it's a steal. Husband has planned Disneyland, Disney Sea, lots of shopping and meeting Jap windsurfer friends for dinner and sight-seeing. Not too enthu about the earthquakes though. :) Then going off to Pattaya for a windsurfing race on1 Dec for a week. At this point in time, it is not certain that there may be a Ladies category at 05 SEA Games. If none, life goes on and the prize may well be an Entrepreneurial one, rather than Sports. Between the 2, I very much prefer the Business prize. There's too many exciting things to look forward to, such as collecting my new saddle tonight! No, I've not given up cycling, but I've not been riding since LCK race. Perhaps thrice in total since Aug, each about 100km, for fun. I've no team, only friends who are always there whenever I want to ride. Isn't this more precious?

The Conveyor Belt

Life is like a conveyor belt of Japanese food, moving the many dishes along. Each plate is a different colour, of different value, each covered with a transparent plastic, alluring one to uncover it, to taste it and to consume it. Each day, different events, people and situations pass our way…much like the dishes do…they move along like little floats at Chingay, enticing and alluring us to temptation. Try me, try me, as though it is calling out to us. Sometimes the dish we uncover is great, it makes us smile and is delicious. Another dish may look nice but taste horrid. We learnt through our experiences to uncover those that we know very well, part to protect and for pleasure. Along the way are the spices of life, the wasabe. These things titillate our senses and occasionally an overdose sets the nostrils tingling! We like it that way, don’t we? It may mean getting burnt, hurt or exposed, but we do it knowing full well the consequences. Call it courage or stupidity, there is little difference between the two. I prefer to call it impulse-the excuse word for forgetfulness to consult the mind and rationale. It is strange that we continually choose this path despite being hurt time and again. Perhaps one just wants to follow the heart? There is no need to explain why, is there? Today I was forced to uncover a dish I did not expect myself to, and it was not what I expected in it. I was also not ready to pay the price stated. But I had to. The dishes came all at once and my confused mind tried to grapple with all the favors-it was bitter, bitter and more bitter. I found myself choking inside, I don’t really know what to do, what to say and how to feel? I just felt like my heart got cut. It was a strange feeling. Does this mean so much to me? Most importantly, the reason is not what everyone thinks is. But I cannot begin to explain it, it will appear like a loser's excuse. I'd rather not. My life does not depend on it, I tried convincing myself. I guess it hurts as much to behold an item of great beauty and to see it go, knowing that I cannot own it. It is better to let it go now, than never. Now I wonder if I would allow myself the courage to be discovered again? It will bring upon vulnerability, hurt and betrayal. Again, the tender heart is bruised. I wonder how and when it could be healed and fit to go back onto the saddle again. Maybe not ever again…

End of the Ride

It has been 7 months exactly since I’ve started road cycling on 16 Dec ‘03. To say the least, it has been an eye-opener to my small world of road training and racing, and delving into the deepest emotions and minds of cyclists. Though it may be too short to call it a ‘career’, the extreme myriad of emotions, the intense way I pushed myself at trainings, picked myself up after I failed and talked myself out of depression after bad rides…all worth a good long chapter in my biography. The friends I made during this period were as diverse as the east is from the west, great as well as nasty. Everything in these 7 months is intense, extreme and deep. Emotions wreak havoc when I think about the kind of investment I made and I mean, in emotional terms. It is unbelievable, even to myself…sometimes I feel guilty, at times indifferent, other times convinced I allowed myself over-vulnerable. I felt sorry for myself. All that I did was sincere, impulsive, real and emotional. To say I lived with a carpe diem attitude alone is shallow as it carried more than just a ‘seize the day’ without an emotional investment. I allowed myself to be discovered, to be revealed and made vulnerable. Against all hope of cynicism and skepticism, I maintained a genuine heart of care and sincerity. This could not, however, resist the forces of hurt perceptions and seared hearts. I became a victim instead. It brought on much tears. Cycling was a unique journey that revealed a part of myself which I never saw. I never anticipated the scenery that I would see during this ride, the bumps along the way and the many crashes I experienced emotionally. It was never, never this deep. I had not quite experienced such an emotional depth as this in quite a long time. Call it chance, destiny, chemistry, connection or pure coincidence, the fireworks came and now it’s over. Perhaps it happened too fast, too deep and too intense for comfort. The untrained heart is unable to handle. The seared heart did not even notice a difference or the wound it caused. It had done this many times, and this adds to the record, that’s all. Today, I am thinking of ending this journey on wheels. I will stop riding. The journey must end here before it puts any more strain on the concerned persons. It should not have ended this way, it should not have, and need not have. I cannot think of a reason to carry on, and the very reasons I had started may be wrong reasons. But they were reasons strong enough to get me up at 4:25am training 4 times a week and giving my all for the races. These reasons yielded decent results. These very reasons are why I should stop riding. It is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the way the wheel is.

Blasphemy?

Have I been sacrilegious in calling my rides ‘sacred’? Sometimes I feel a tinge of guilt for doing that, because sometimes, the rides really aren’t quite sacred. And I mean it in every sense of the word ‘un-sacred’. You see, sometimes I am not all focused on the task at hand, i.e. riding. At other times, I am distracted by worldly desires and pressing issues. Yet at other times, I am purely selfish – this can include, riding to lose weight, riding to de-stress or riding to have something to do because my husband is yet again out of town. The blasphemy lies in the very twist of believing my rides are sacred when they aren’t (well, not always). The dynamics of human interaction, group behaviour and social communication just adds to that complexity. I observe the way the cyclists ride their bikes, it’s probably the same way they lead their lives. Being a hopeless romantic myself, I cannot help but enjoy the romance of dawn, totally at peace with my emotions. At other times, in total emotional disaster and disarray, and that’s probably when I am distracted, too quiet and ignoring the present company. Perhaps at times, I feel like I’ve lost the affection and attention I thought I used to have. Perhaps it is the tension of uncertainty, the very same tension that can bring about excitement and a certain high. Let’s just say that women are probably confused creatures, contradict ourselves, give mixed signals and sensitive at the wrong times. I’ve just proved it, didn’t I? SACA Road Race 2, Changi Business Park 4 April 2004 It seemed like ages since the first road race…it must had to do with my very erratic life since that day. I was a workaholic the moment March began, working overtime and overworked for a sports conference my department was organizing. It ended on 13 March, during which I fell ill, boss told me no way he can afford me taking sick leave…so I pressed on. 14 March was my birthday, yet another milestone, to mark incremental aging and depletion of youth. By then, I had not gone for my rides for 2 weeks because of work and the nagging illness/fatigue. I embarked on a painful comeback on Tuesday, 16 March. It wasn’t painful, I felt like dying. My legs were heavier than lead, my lungs were deflated and my will was weak. I gave up on myself, tears already forming in my eyes, threatening to roll down my cheeks. I told my teammate I needed to pick up my fitness b4 riding with the team again. The next day, I heard 2 new ‘babes’ joined the team for training. I skipped the ‘babe-watch’ and went for my own secret ride, fighting my ghost of failure alone. Then on Friday, 19 March, I came back riding with the team again, hoping I was in acceptable shape. Coach was riding with me the 2 laps of Changi, which I was totally grateful for. He wasn’t just there for me when I’m fit, he cared to ride and pull me when I’m down and slow. He also shared about how “Dynamics relates to how a rider constantly maximizes the bike and body efficiencies to match and produce maximum power or control over the constantly changing terrain encountered in cycling.” Whatever that meant, I figured it out for myself. It helped that I was in the analytical mode for speed-testing for my new windsurfing gear. Each session, I tuned my sail differently, analysed the effects of that day’s conditions on my sail, board and fin. I also changed new fins, shifted the mast track position, and tried as many permutations of gear combination with as many wind/wave conditions. My new sail is a model of North Sails called R Type, not to be confused with Honda Type R. R Type is an awesome sail, it’s like I had jumped from a 1.6litre car to a 3litre car without being fitted with an equivalent engine. I did not have the weight to hold down the power, especially when the wind picks up. I had to tweak with the tuning and change different fins to manage the differences. You see, fins are like wheels. It’s the only contact with the water and it’s very very important. Since I started riding, I kept a diary, only include the mileage for each ride after the SACA Road Race 1 coz it was then that I learnt how to use the speedo to clock each ride’s distance. By the time I applied my understanding of speed dynamics from windsurfing to cycling, and making adjustments to the way I ride. On my 29th ride on 29 March, (how significant), I felt the improvement. I endeavoured to maintain and stabilize that new-found riding style. I wasn’t confident that I managed a breakthrough in my riding, hence not able to decide if I was going to race on 4 April. Then I thought I should just race to be there to support my team and be a good sport. Told coach I was racing the day (3 April) before race day. I turned up on race day and there goes…looking forward to more riding…Waves and wheels are great!

Life is...

Life is… "An athlete has to somehow figure out how to enrich the people around him, and not just himself. Otherwise, he's purposeless." - Lance Armstrong (Every Second Counts, page 211) Awfully true…it doesn’t sound so true until the fragility of life hits you in the face. Fresh from a series of races in both Formula and Shortboard, I was still high from the adrenaline treats racing and competing when a friend called to bring me sombre news. A friend had committed suicide and we are invited to the funeral wake. * crash * She is 23 and approaching the prime of her youth. I asked ‘why?’ and it seems, no one knows. Vera had always put on a cheerful disposition, despite me not being a close friend to her, I knew her from church youth ministry. I could not believe and I do not want to believe. It is too surreal. Everything I was doing at that time seems trivial, the windsurfing races, the career, the business, the gossip talks…what had appeared important immediately loses its primary value when juxtaposed with something of immeasurable value, Life. I would do anything to help a friend embrace hope again, I would give everything to have a friend to feel love again, and I would do anything to have a friend Live again… I wonder what is the best way to live life? How should we live life such that it is truly meaningful? Each person’s definition of ‘meaning’ and ‘life’ differs so greatly that one may murder to feel powerful and the other indulges in full-time missionary work to help the less fortunate. I do not have an answer but I figure that as long as someone is in need of love, I would give. If someone needs a lunch, I will buy. If someone needs a hug, I would embrace. If someone need a listening ear, I will be there. I guess that’s all I can do…

Asian Windsurfing Tour 2004

Press Release Courtesy Andrew Owen Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, Presented by Fosters The 10th Mana Mana Amslam, Presented by Neil Pryde 29-31 January 2004 Date: 5 February 2004 Two races were run today to open the 10th Mana Mana Amslam, the fourth event on the Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, presented by Foster’s. Defending Champion Robbie Radis from Australia took the first race but in the second he was beaten by Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo. At the end of the day Radis leads ahead of a consistent Bo Ruamsap of Thailand with Yoon in third. Every windsurfer knows the wind gods can be both fickle and cruel. For hours today the fleet of international windsurfers sat on a beach, albeit a beautiful one, and watched as the wind speed hovered just below an acceptable minimum. Every now and then gusts would arrive and a murmur would travel around the beach. But the murmurs would subside with the beach flags. Finally in mid afternoon the teasing was over and the fleet was able to take to the water. Wind speeds still hung at around 12 knots, a very gentle breeze, but just enough to start this year’s Mana Mana Amslam. This is the 10th year of the event and it has grown in both size and reputation. 46 competitors from 10 countries are competing for the title champion – and for the points they will receive towards the Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour Title. Going in to this event defending Adecco AWT Champion Robbie Radis from Australia is looking strong ahead of Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and the UK’s Paul Philips. Other sailors to watch at this years Mana Mana Amslam will be Singaporean champion Andrew Foo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap (an Asian games Gold Medallist). In the ladies division Singapore’s Rachel Ng goes head to head again with Japan’s Ayako Suzuki. Windsurf racing is quite simple with the fleet of sailors crossing the start line as a clock reaches “zero” and racers travelling around a series of buoys or marks before crossing a finish line. The first across the line wins…. And the first race was a simple “Speed Dash” out to sea, around one mark and back to the finish line near shore. Across the start line it was clear that Radis, racing on his largest Neil Pryde RS4 race sail, had the board speed to win. But both Ruamsap and Yoon maintained contact but they could not really threaten a dominant Radis. A strong first race and perhaps a little daunting for the rest of the fleet. But the second race of the day was different. Yoon, who is also racing on the new RS4 sails, was also powered up and this time rounded the first mark ahead of both Ruamsap and Radis. The Australian was clearly not invincible and although Radis recovered into second position the victory was Yoon’s. Said Yoon “I am very happy to beat Robbie in the race. That first race showed that he has good speed and that he is in form. But I managed to beat him to the first mark and that was the key. We have two more days of racing and I’m still in third place behind both Robbie and Bo so I cannot get carried away.” Tonight the fleet travels north on Bintan to the Club Med resort for another night of partying on the Adecco AWT and racing will continue tomorrow. Stronger winds are forecast with those fickle wind gods saving the best until Saturday. Date: 6 February 2004 In another day of light winds only one slalom race was held today at the Mana Mana Amslam on Bintan, Indonesia. Winning the race was the familiar face of Robbie Radis from Australia while behind him was Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap. In fourth was Wang Yew Pang of Singapore. Rachel Ng (Singapore) meanwhile continued her incredible form to finish eighth in the race, beating all the women and most of the men. A challenging slalom course was set by Race Directors Klaus Michel and Ho Kah Soon. The 46-man fleet had to travel downwind around three marks before crossing the finish line off Mana Mana’s pristine white sands. Wind speeds were very gentle at 12 knots, occasionally gusting higher. It was plain that some of the fleet on smaller boards and smaller sails were struggling to get any momentum as they worked their way upwind to the startline. As the clock hit zero and the race began Radis burst across the line but was surrounded by a close pack of chasing sailors. Foremost amongst them was Singapore’s Wang Yew Pang and TC Chua with Bo Ruamsap snapping at their heals. Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo had had a bad start and was behind the consistently impressive Rachel Ng. Ayako Suzuki meanwhile, was again struggling for board speed and lagged behind. Around the first mark Yoon carved inside of Ruamsap and Ng and jumped up the fleet. As he hit the second mark he had overtaken Chua and was closing in on Wang. Plainly Yoon wanted to go all the way after his victory in the previous race. By the third and final mark Yoon had passed Wang to take second spot and he now focused on Radis, the Australian champion. But Radis was too fast and too far ahead and Yoon had to settle for second with Ruamsap again in third ahead of Wang in fourth. A smiling Ng crossed in eighth while Suzuki languished far back in the fleet. Date: 6 February 2004 Radis was now looking more secure at the top of the leader board with one more day of racing remaining “after losing that last race to Yoon I needed this and with only one race run today it was doubly important. I’ve got a slim 4 point lead at the moment so I can’t rest. But I’m happy”. Ng leads the ladies division comfortably and is showing many of the men how to sail “well I’m very proud of my sailing so far and it’s good to be in eighth. But in such light winds I do have a bit of an advantage because of my light weight. Certainly I think that Ayako is struggling a bit with the light conditions –but I’m used to this and I’m loving it.” Tonight there is a Foster’s Party at Mana Mana Beach Club as the Amslam celebrates it’s 10th anniversary and racing will continue tomorrow (Saturday) before the crowning of the new champion tomorrow night. Press Release Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, Presented by Fosters courtesy Andrew Owen, Proteus Sports The 10th Mana Mana Amslam, Presented by Neil Pryde 29-31 January 2004 In another day of light winds only one slalom race was held today at the Mana Mana Amslam on Bintan, Indonesia. Winning the race was the familiar face of Robbie Radis from Australia while behind him was Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap. In fourth was Wang Yew Pang of Singapore. Rachel Ng (Singapore) meanwhile continued her incredible form to finish eighth in the race, beating all the women and most of the men. A challenging slalom course was set by Race Directors Klaus Michel and Ho Kah Soon. The 46-man fleet had to travel downwind around three marks before crossing the finish line off Mana Mana’s pristine white sands. Wind speeds were very gentle at 12 knots, occasionally gusting higher. It was plain that some of the fleet on smaller boards and smaller sails were struggling to get any momentum as they worked their way upwind to the startline. As the clock hit zero and the race began Radis burst across the line but was surrounded by a close pack of chasing sailors. Foremost amongst them was Singapore’s Wang Yew Pang and TC Chua with Bo Ruamsap snapping at their heals. Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo had had a bad start and was behind the consistently impressive Rachel Ng. Ayako Suzuki meanwhile, was again struggling for board speed and lagged behind. Around the first mark Yoon carved inside of Ruamsap and Ng and jumped up the fleet. As he hit the second mark he had overtaken Chua and was closing in on Wang. Plainly Yoon wanted to go all the way after his victory in the previous race. By the third and final mark Yoon had passed Wang to take second spot and he now focused on Radis, the Australian champion. But Radis was too fast and too far ahead and Yoon had to settle for second with Ruamsap again in third ahead of Wang in fourth. A smiling Ng crossed in eighth while Suzuki languished far back in the fleet. Radis was now looking more secure at the top of the leader board with one more day of racing remaining “after losing that last race to Yoon I needed this and with only one race run today it was doubly important. I’ve got a slim 4 point lead at the moment so I can’t rest. But I’m happy”. Ng leads the ladies division comfortably and is showing many of the men how to sail “well I’m very proud of my sailing so far and it’s good to be in eighth. But in such light winds I do have a bit of an advantage because of my light weight. Certainly I think that Ayako is struggling a bit with the light conditions –but I’m used to this and I’m loving it.” Tonight there is a Foster’s Party at Mana Mana Beach Club as the Amslam celebrates it’s 10th anniversary and racing will continue tomorrow (Saturday) before the crowning of the new champion tomorrow night. Japan’s Ayako Suzuki (centre), so far unbeaten on the Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, is fighting a losing battle against Singpapore’s Rachel Ng. Rachel is not only winning the ladies division but lies in eighth position overall. Date: 7 February 2004 Winds roared into Bintan today clocking up to 21 knots and in perfect conditions five full rounds of racing were run. After four days of competition Robbie Radis was once again crowned champion of the Mana Mana Amslam. The battle for second place raged all day with Singapore’s TC Chua challenging Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap. In the last races of the day Yoon managed to clinch the second place ahead of Ruamsap and Chua had to settle for fourth. Bintan was alive with activity very early today (Saturday) as winds roared in from the South China Sea. These were the conditions that everyone had been waiting (and praying) for. With wind speeds hovering around 20 knots all day and a generous sea swell the conditions were challenging. And with some frustrating light wind days preceeding this, the Race Directors had a hard day planned for the 46-man fleet. Going into this final day of racing Robbie Radis was looking comfortable at the top of the leaderboard while beneath him the struggle was furious. No favourites could be found between Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo, Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap and Singaporean sailors TC Chua, Andrew Foo and Wang Yew Pang. In the second race of the day TC Chua of Singapore showed a startling return to form finishing second ahead of Ruamsap and Andrew Foo. But then it was time for Yoon to stake his claim, this time finishing second ahead of Chua and Ruamsap. Now, after seven races only a quarter of a point separated Yoon and Ruamsap with Chua close behind. Said Chua before the race “well we have to accept that we can’t catch Radis this time. His gear is well tuned, he is fit – and he’s been to every stop on the Tour of course. But we have a fight on for second place. After recent injury worries I’m just pleased to be out there being competitive”. Yoon was more fired up saying “I just need to finish ahead of Bo (Ruamsap) and I’ll be confirmed in second place. I am going fast and I’m confident. But there’s many good sailors out there and the conditions are hard. All I know for sure is that I’ll try my best”. Across the start line all the top sailors crossed as a pack and it was still unclear who was in the lead as they descended upon the first mark. And it was Yoon ahead of Chua and Englishman Paul Philips. Ruamsap had slipped to fifth. And with everyone keyed up and flying he would have to rely on the mistakes of others. And despite the strong winds and huge swells no mistakes were made and across the line it was Radis from a jubilant Yoon, a resurgent Chua, a surprised Philips and finally a frustrated Ruamsap. There was one more race run and some of the lower places would still be settled but the top of the leader board remained the same. Radis is crowned champion again with Yoon in second, Ruamsap in third with Chua settling for fourth. Said Radis “I’m really happy to be champion here again. This is the first ever event on the Adecco AWT that I ever won and it’s special for me. We had such good conditions today that the light wind days before are all forgotten and the discards remove all the luck or chance from the result. It’s been a fantastic event and the competition has been tough. The event is getting bigger and more international and I look forward to defending my title next year. Meantime I’m now off to Saipan for the final event on the Tour – and I’ll be looking for the same result there.” The ladies division had been looking one-dimensional until today with Rachel Ng not just beating the women, but also many of the men. But today, in the higher winds, Japan’s Ayako Suzuki saw a return to form that pushed Ng back into second in the ladies. Suzuki finished an incredible 6th overall, while Ng finished in 16th overall. In other divisions Leo Leow from Malaysia won the Masters (over 40) while Tsuneoka Masahiro from Japan won the Grand Masters (over 55). The Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, presented by Foster’s, now heads to the Pacific Island paradise of Saipan for the fifth and final event on the Tour, the Marianas Open. Radis takes with him a commanding lead into the last event and it will be hard for Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo to close the gap. The Mana Mana Amslam is a prestigious event in it’s own right and it fits into the larger Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour that groups together the premier windsurfing events in the region. 1) The Penghu Pro-am, Penghu, Taiwan (November 2003) 2) The Boracay International Funboard Cup, Philippines (January 2004) 3) Monsoon Madness, Kuantan, Malaysia (January 2004) 4) The Mana Mana Amslam, Bintan, Indonesia (February 2004) 5) The Marianas Open, Saipan (February 2004) Through the season competitors at each event earn points towards the overall Adecco AWT Championship and at the end of the season in Saipan a new Asian Champion is crowned. The Mana Mana Amslam (and all the events on the Adecco AWT) is being filmed for international television and in all, the event will reach an audience of over 150 million households around the globe. The World will be watching as the 10th Mana Mana Amslam sets sail.

The Sacred Ride I rode alone on Tuesday morning. It rained so hard the whole of last night that the tarmac is tame and the air cleansed. The air felt so clean as though God put the atmosphere through an air purifier. Riding through clean air cleanses the system and purifies my mind. It felt strange to ride alone, especially so when I’ve been riding with the boys, often with much commotion, voices and panting. Fleeting thoughts of ‘why am I doing this so early in the morning?’ quickly dissipated as the peace of the dawn flooded my flustered mind. Soaking in the dew, my mind cleared itself of any ‘unpleasantry’. I thought of my life as of today, somehow all laid out before me, like the long coastal road ahead…I don’t know why I got into the reflective mode, perhaps that’s what peace and quiet does to me, it gets me connected with my spirit and I feel alive from the inside-out. That’s why I called today’s ride The Sacred Ride. It’s for me to cherish and for my God to share the moment with. I did not see my life laid out on Coastal Road in neat chapters. It came in a flash of sorts with a bang of emotions. How quickly time flew by and how far I’ve come, what have I done with my life and where am I heading? I couldn’t figure out what I felt more: fear or excitement? What does the future hold for me? In the strangest juxtaposition of flustered emotions and faith, I decided that the latter should stand, for sheer optimism. Yet, as the years go by, I feel confident, about life, myself, my capability and future. I know what to do, how to do it, and what I want! I know how to live through life, the way I want to. It’s not that bad, there’s something about growing, living through yet another birthday. There’s nothing like knowing God will be there for me in the future, after all, He’s Alpha and Omega. It makes better reason to enjoy what I am doing now, the rides, the sports, the friends and everything that God has given me in this life, and much more. I love life, but not more than Jesus! He is my everything.

Waterworld Magazine Nov '03 - Windsurfing Windsurfing is not a sport! It is opium, obsession and enslavement to wind and speed. A healthy addiction that marries the soul and ocean to a life sentence, a windsurfer experiences ultimate freedom. An antithesis maybe, but there is something about dancing on the ocean, skipping over waves and heading into the twilight. Some say it’s magic, others say it’s stress-relieving. Yet others claim it builds up muscles. Windsurfing is all of these and much more. It is what you want it to be, what you want to be, and allows you to be what you want to become. It is about being oneself. Many new and radical sports offer adrenalin of all sorts, thrills and spills and fellowship with nature. Windsurfing represents the past, present and future in every way. It was said to be invented in 1968 by Jim Drake (a sailor) and Hoyle Schweitzer (a surfer). They received the very first patent for a sailboard which they named ‘Windsurfer’. Today, windsurfing is a multi-million dollar industry and is featured in the Olympics, Asian Games, Southeast Asian Games and other major continental competition. Windsurfing in Singapore Most of the action takes place in the seafront off the East Coast park, and windsurfers can be found at PA East Coast Sea Sports Club and Pasta Fresca Sea Sports Centre. PA ECSSC boasts of the biggest windsurfing club facility in Singapore, hosting the largest windsurfing membership as well. Organizing races do not come cheap, requiring boats, manpower, tons of logistics, skilled windsurfers and yes, wind. Throw in prizes to enthrall people to race, the cost begins at $10,000 for a simple local race. Several windsurfers are fortunate to be ‘team riders’ for some of the equipment brands, raising the commercial value of gear and publicity competition. Windsurfing is about variety, flexibility and universal. Disciplines include the Formula, slalom, wave, freestyle, Olympic, raceboard, Super X to name a few. Much depends on the local wind and water conditions that determine the type of windsurfing one engages in. In Singapore, local windsurfers do Formula, shortboard, Mistral One Design Olympic class and freestyle. Our waves rarely go higher than a ripple, hence windsurfers are typically bound by the largely-tame conditions. Travelling is a must for the wind/wave-starved windsurfers. Some make annual pilgrimages to popular windy havens like Maui, Bintan, San Francisco, Vietnam, secluded parts of Malaysia such as Jason’s Bay, Kuantan, Penghu island in Taiwan and even Boracay island in Philippines. Women in windsurfing – winners or widows? Too tough, too hot, too dangerous, too scary and too expensive…these are the reasons ladies often use to explain why they should not windsurf and why they should engage in more friendly sports like aerobics, jogging, badminton and tennis. Their reasons are valid as windsurfing in its purity is indeed tough, dangerous, scary, expensive and yes, you come back with a glowing tan. In my full-time windsurfing days and racing experience almost over 10 years, the hardcore women windsurfers are usually winners, not widows. Women windsurfers who are winners in major competitions, such as Olympics, Professional Windsurfing circuit, Asian tour, US/UK tours and Formula circuit are rarely widows. Women windsurfers – read ‘hardcore’, are a rare breed, exclusive only to the hardcore male brood who spend all their time in the water, and the rest of the time also in the water. They understand freedom, fanaticism, adrenalin, athleticism, strength, creativity and technology. They sometimes have no time for shopping and their nails are frequently chipped from tinkling with rough equipment and terrains. Their skin is deeply tanned, they own calluses on their palms and have moisturizers, sun-block lotions and DIY masks as constant companions. Sexy bikini lines decorate their backs and they have more board shorts than evening dresses. Women windsurfers are a capable lot, gutsy, brave and independent beyond the average marking. We know how to enjoy life, race, travel, pursue our dreams and win! Women windsurfers do not survive non-windsurfing partners, as it bears too much on their egos and esteems. They’d rather be windsurfing widows and continue in their search…for wind and waves. More often than not, the male to female ratio can be almost 20:1, leaving the ‘widows’ up for grabs, first-come-first-served basis. As windsurfing is a finesse and tactical sport, few women windsurfers are too-muscular nor tempted to take performance-enhancement drugs. The hardcore women are drawn to the lifestyle, the adrenalin, the dream and the utopia. Same reason the men are drawn to them…few widows remain. Winners galore, on and off the water. Sponsorship is hard to come by…for men and more so for women. With my SEA Games Silver medal success and later on, Asian Windsurfing Tour Ladies Champion titles, Local Overall 2nd Ranking and others, I became the team rider for The Windsurfing Shop, Timex, Oakley, Cobian & Dakine. There are hardly more than 5 ladies who race regularly in Singapore, not least to say that it is common for women windsurfers to find sponsors, as there are just too few around. More often than not, they windsurf recreationally, cruising on the sea, enjoying the sun. Ask them to race and they will say ‘too tough, too difficult, I’m not good enough’. As a result of the few women racers, we race with the men in Open categories, same starts and same course. Usually, I am the only woman windsurfer in the Open fleet. There is just not enough women to form a fleet. Thank God for the strong foundation in my earlier days, I could earn top 3 positions in most, if not all the races, giving me a 2nd position ranking in the Formula Open class for this year. The rest are men. And no, I am not a windsurfing widow…I’ll be marrying a windsurfer 2 months from now. The Road Less Travelled In my full-time windsurfing days a couple of years ago, I lived a dream of windsurfing everyday, travelling and racing. Then it was the 2001 SEA Games and windsurfing has been a regular feature in major games (Olympics, Asian Games and SEA Games). Short of training in Hawaii, we travelled to the most unlikely places to windsurf and race, such as China. I had also raced in Pakistan, Japan, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippines. Certainly not the most ‘commercial’ of windsurfing havens one would read in windsurfing magazines but we had great winds and big waves. Daily trainings under my China coach then include runnning at 6:30am, breakfast at 8am, Gym training or windsurfing training 9am-12pm. We’ll have lunch and another windsurfing session from 2-5pm. It was pure pain, hard work and numbness to adrenalin. Nonetheless, the dream one holds of perfecting the moves, achieving superhuman physical fitness and the satisfaction of winning races enslaves one to the cause. Strangely and almost bizarre, I was enjoying the mundane routine and looking forward each morning to push myself beyond my limits. Each day when tough training knocked me out, I would lie in bed blissfully fulfilled, aching from head to toe, happy that I had given of myself, done my very best and spent every ounce of my strength into a God-given calling. I relish the idea of pursuing a dream, aware that some go through life not having a dream. The scariest thing is not about leaving one’s dreams unfulfilled, but in not having one. I was training with a fierce Passion-the kind that causes some to excel beyond anyone else – dulls one’s sense of fatigue, pain, and the need for pleasure or even physical well-being. There is no greater honour, no greater pleasure than to represent your country.

Last few days have been a flurry of emotions…not least feeling the extremes of emotions, great joy for a wedded couple-friend and immense sadness for a friend killed by a speeding powerboat on a lake. As if there is not enough going around the world to remind us to cherish our loved ones, to cherish what we have and thank God for all that is in this world, I have to be robbed of a friend to be struck with that slap. Vangie Palacios, is a dynamic and inspiring travel-journalist, and responsible for organizing most windsurfing and surfing competitions in the Philippines. She passed away on Friday, 3 May, 2003 on Lake Caliraya, Manila, when she was hit by a speedboat while swimming alone. She was killed instantly. The backbone of the Philippines’ windsurfing scene, much doubt remains now if our fellow Filippino windsurfers would be able to continue windsurfing without thinking of her. I can’t, for sure. Her mobile phone no. stays in my mobile phone, no, I’m not deleting her number. I wore black today, and if I have enough black clothes, I will do so for the week. It’s my way of saying ‘Vangie, I miss you and I wish your spirit peace’. It was a brief one week spent in fleeting moments of her company, during the Asian Windsurfing Tour in Boracay, Philippines. I remember her as dynamic, well-educated, spontaneous and warm. I read about her travel journals, and one of them, of her 30-day travel to U.S. with her husband, Art. They were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. The camera, which she so fondly called Juliana, captured the finest moments of her life. Aptly so, they were vibrant, varied and vivacious, and very Vangie! She was a travel-journalist, photographer, windsurfer, surfer, fine friend and all the vocabulary in the world will fail to describe her. It all seemed so surreal. I was just emailing her 4 days ago, when she informed me about an almost-sponsored windsurfing race in Jeju, Korea. She told me she was taking a weekend break, to go windsurfing at Caliraya Lake. She was supposed to reply me about certain details, and wrote off in her last email, that she'll be back! Well, she didn't keep to that promise. Many will mourn for a loss of a dear friend, many others will mourn for the loss of an inspiration which we can so easily overlook. Rest In Peace, Vangie! God bless your family.

5/10/2002 BUSAN ASIAN GAMES: RACES 1-3 Races hv been underway here in Busan & race 3 has just been completed today. Yesterday wind was good, from 15-20+ kts (gust) & there were some surprises. I dunno where to start reporting the results. To begin with, Andrew has been very consistent in all 3 races, coming in 6th, aha...he beat Taipei old man (7th) to retain his 6th psn. In his class, Mistral lightweight, psns change in every race. Today, 0 kt in morn & we waited several hrs b4 it blew ard 8-12 kts in super gloomy weather. CHN 1ST, HKG 2ND, KOR 3RD, JPN4TH, THA 5TH, SIN 6TH. Mistral Heavyweight: INA 1ST, CHN 2ND, JPN 3RD, HKG 4TH, THA 5TH. Yesterday, results were different. We saw the CHN lady Yin Jian doing badly, being 5th overall after 2 races. Dunno what happened to her, whilst Tha gal was 3rd. HKG San san won both races, Masako sits 2nd. Meng, Cho doesn't look like he's gonna win, with mostly 4th & 5th places. HKG ho chi ho is fighting hard with CHN Zhou Yuanguo & finally today, Gao Chuanwei in Raceboard LW! , came in 1st after patching his board till 9 p.m. last night. Everybody raced in epoxy-patched raceboards. Received bad feedback for its fragility in such rough conditions. I had smuggled myself into the Press boat these 2 days, after disguising myself as a Photographer & Journalist. The boat brought us right next to the pin end buoy of the start line. I'll send out some good photos when they r ready.

10/2/2002 WEDNESDAY TYPHOON in Osaka & Long-waiting game! More shopping, there were nothing much coz there were only sweaters & more sweaters. really, it wasn't that cold. and i'm frustrated from always having to put up with stuffy-non-air-conditioned buses coz they think it's cold out there. gosh, i'd rather be cold than hot. that reminds me of the 40min bus ride to the airport this morning. i didn't sleep well coz i was too excited abt today. aha...firstly, I walked 15 min thru' underpasses, streets & lots and lots of staircases to the bus-stop. The airport bus 68 came, i was greeted by this grouchy old man who grunts & scolds. i got thru' the paying-bus-fare part, then chose a seat 3 rows behind him. realising the air-con wasnt on, i asked him to switch it on. oh there started the ranting and raving...he's probably scolding me in his native korean vulgar language. he switched it on and after half a min, switched it off again. Oh ok, so this means 'switching on the air-con'. I stopped requesting for the air-con obviously. i continued the near-fainting journey, half in fear if indeed, this bus goes to Gimpo airport. You know, u feel more uncertain when you have a very un-assuring driver. I really almost fainted in the stuffy bus, feeling really hungry and still in a sleepy stupor, I struggled to stay perky. Well, I did reach the Gimpo Airport, Praise God! I quickly checked in and on my way to STARBUCKS, bumped into 3 girls who were screaming & struggling with each other for some reason. Finally, the police was called in to maintain sanity at the Departure Lounge. Then I joyfully ordered a Grande Cappucino with lots of Choc & some cinnamon in it. Nothing beats a nice big cuppa in the morning with the newspapers & a sandwich. It was time to check in and I took the Airport Limousine bus to the Domestic Departure Hall. I found my seat beside this ang-moh guy who looked like he was busy doing homework. aha...I read more newspapers & soon, we reached Busan Domestic airport in an hr. It's the Airport Limousine bus again to the Intl airport. There i had my best surprise of the day. Yasuko's flight is to be delayed for 4 hrs! Praise the Lord! It's a cruel, long & starving waiting game. I cant leave because I do not know which hotel she has booked. Anyway, I am really looking forward to meeting the windsurfers and sailors, incl the officials, coaches & jury from the rest of the world. It'll be an awesome gathering.

30/9/2002 CRAPPY CAPPUCINO Greetings from Seoul! The first thing that happened to me was to get conned of a cuppa lousy cappucino. this is my second time & i hv not learned my lesson!! darn! Koreans make lousy coffee, period! For the same price, i could have lingered happily in Starbucks, Coffee Beans or Seattle's. Anyway, i attempted the Jungang Flea Market after my Dunkin Donuts breakfast in the subway...it's not a Flea market, as u would think, it's really a wet market, Korean-style. And I saw, *gasp*, dogs in cages, whining & next to the bunch of caged dogs, as if to remind them of their impending doom, were displays of frozen dog legs, RAW! How poignant! I almost dropped my camera...the scene seizes me like hyperventilation as i struggled to relate DOGS to Makan! I tried to take pictures but the owner waved me off, i pointed to the dogs & the man continued to disallow pictures. I didn't persist, in case i had to keep the dogs company in the cage. But i took one photo of the dogs in the opposite ! stall. I walked around more, but certainly, lunch was not on my mind. i went back to Downtown seoul when the raw smell got into me. i'm impressed at the rate of improvemt, there r street concerts here everynight. their arts & ways of expression for youths r amazing. juz last night, i stood frozen to the ground watching bunches of teens dancing on the permanent stage. it was awesome as it's not juz swaying but some of the boys were breakdancing & flipping & somersaulting perfectly to the rhythm. I do understand how local sports, arts, dance & theatre r really not happening. I visited the local bookstore today...and there were books of the individual footballers. Not to say that their ads adorn the streets, mags, everything! Then i went to Korean Air to confirm my air tix & to mark that bus-stop which the airport express bus would move from on my map. Till I fly to Busan to check out the Asian Games, i'm juz hanging around, watching lots of tv. Theyhad the Opening ceremony last night & as usual, i only saw the Koreans coz that's all they showed. The only reason y i'll come back kor is the snow skiing. YUP!!!

29/9/2002 So Seoul only... I did some more touristy things these 2 days & boy, it's a lot a lot of walking...practically hours. Yesterday, I took the subway (basically, i take the subway to EVERYWHERE coz it's sooo cheap! tho' not the easiest to figure out but a hundred times easier than Tokyo's) to Gyeungbokkung Palace & Independence Gate. The palace was not impressive, looked rather fake as it was purposely built as a university project & it's nothing compared to the Vietnamese & Chinese palaces which were really really awesome. I digressed to the Korean Folk Museum...and guess who was up in Korea's history? Yes, the Korean World Cup & the Kor football team! It was quite an awesome sight. A bunch of boys kicking balls in the historical annals of the country. It speaks a lot abt what the country thinks abt sport amongst its priorities. Then I took the subway to the Sodaemun History Prison Hall. I think the Korean War is either not as horrendous as the other wars or that the museum architects are not up to it. aha. It was ok lah, ended up taking photos of myself using the timer. Hope they turn out. Late afternoon, I took the subway to the reputed shopping belt called Itaewon! Well, there're too many tourists there, too many blacks, ang-mohs and ang-moh fast-food. Then there are consistent bunches of Harley-bikes vrrooming up the 'happening' street so often I don't find them unique anymore. My hunger resisted & I ended up at Steff's Hotdog for dinner. And I bought 4 more World Cup t-shirts in addition to the 2 I already bought. Exhausting the 2 streets, I returned back to my motel in the big pouring cold cruel rain!!! The raindrops here seem much bigger than those back home, and at least 10 deg colder! It was Sat night, so there were nice movies to watch on tv. there was this show starring Eddie Murphy, pretty funny...and those asian games highlights here & there often. But in Korea, u juz tend to think Kor is winning in every sport & in every competition coz that's all they show. I've bought the Korea Herald sometimes but still, Kor wins everything. aha. This morning I woke up really excited because I was going to reward myself with a hot Cuppa Cappucino & choc muffin at Coffee Beans. Then I'll head for the biggest church i.e. Yoida Full Gospel Church, in the world, right here in Seoul. It's headed by Rev David Cho Yonggi. Hmmm, it's really big!! Everything but the seats are big. The cross must have been 50 ft high....and I understood only 'Hallelujah' & 'Amen' in the entire worship & sermon. Yup, it was in traditional korean. I spent my time taking photos of the congregation, the church building & occasionlly flipping thru' my Korean Phrasebook. No chance to explore other parts of the building as the human throng is simply too powerful. There were tons of traffic police directing the human & traffic, obviously i forgot to mention the traffic jam as i was reaching there b4 the service. I proceeded with my itinery which was to head for the Han-Gang river cruise which was supposed to take me to this windsurfing area. I had an hr plus to kill b4 the ferry sets off. Ate lunch out of a Snack Car (a mini-bus) and waited...watched the children feed the pigeons & chasing them... The ferry was kinda of a disappointment. There was this rowdy grp of people who were taking photos during the entire trip & i was forced to abdicate my seat to somewhere photo-taking-free. There was no wind...so the windsurfing was quite a sad scene. Then i walked an hour to the Chamsil subway...half an hr later, back in Myongdong. Next 2 days, I planned it to be relaxing...finish last-min shopping, check out the Hwang-hak Flea Market & come back. Tues, I'll just hang out at my shopping area, shop somemore & pack up. Wed early morn, I'll hv to take the 10am domestic flight to meet Yasuko. I really dunno what to eat for dinner...aha. and it's real crowded outside.

27/9/2002 SEOUL SOUL! Greetings from Seoul. The Asian Association for Sportt Management Congress was a big surprise! right fm beginning, every day was a surprise. u know nobody picked us up from the airport? ya, we waited 2 hrs & finally, called up the hotel, nobody made a reservation for us & we ended up taking an hr public bus to the Olympic Parktel hotel. WELCOME TO SEOUL! of coz, more surprises to come. on second day, they packed us off to Busan for this Scientific Congress which we didn't know we were attending. aha. then they left us there to return to Seoul on our own. Addy didn't want to make himself more confused and so, remained in Busan. I found my way to the Railway station with a Jap friend & took too-too-train for 4-half hrs back to Seoul. My cheapskate motel is ok lah..juz lock everything tight lor. but i suppose anyone can give a slight kick & the door will fall. i slept well in the motel after all & felt used to it aft one night. aha. it's ok coz location's best!! Yes, now i found out many nice places to go...i've planned my itinery & am very happy! i'm juz opp to this really happening shopping area which i only found out tis aftn. i ventured there for lunch & didnt expect it to be so happening as it looked boring fm the street. aha. was i wrong. anyway, last night aft i got outta internet shop, i cont shoppin in that Namdaemon street market. i was trying to buy a good & cheap leather jacket. in my 2nd shop, this guy was really nice & striked up conversation. it was the same one that really fit me & really good leather (cannot burn when u light a fire on it & very smooth). in the first shop, it cost s$325. in tis second shop, i asked for leather that cost ard s$100 (actually not that possible coz it's ex right). dun hv...so i walked out. then that guy called me back & offered me s$125 for that same long black italian leather jack. i tried it again & ok, bot it. i'm not leather expert lah but it's the best price i came across, even in china or aus, usu at least s$200. juz now i walked into giordano & their leather jac is also going for s$300+. i think i got a good deal lah. also bot a nice brown denim 'jeans' for s$57. the cutting is good on me, coz all my life i can never buy a pair of 'jeans' or pants that look nice on me, aha. so i bot it. looks fantastic wif the leather. anyway, aft my kfc lunch (yes, sick of kor food!) at the shopping area opp my motel, i followed my itinery plan i.e. Namsan National park & Seoul Tower & Namsan traditional korean village. it was juz to the right of my motel. it required a steep one-hr plus walk up to the peak. despite the 27deg ok weather, i was perspiring lor...and it wasn't breathtaking! aha, i asked this man to take photo for me. then i sat there to rest my legs while looking upon the bunches of 5-yr-olds running & screaming. it seems that the kids hv lots of excursions, coz i see them everywhere i go. but they r so cute. then i bot the tix to bring me up to Seoul Tower. well, i was disappointed the elevator only brought me up to one-third of the tower, which my Timex watch measured only 235m altitude. the peak is supposed to be 456m in altitude. sigh. 'up there', it wasnt fantastic too. aha. Tokyo Tower, i remembered, is 100x more breathtaking. well, i should hv been there at night. but then again, no way am i gonna climb 1 hr plus up the steep stairs in pitch darkness. i forgot there's a cablecar to bring us to the tower directly. but...i trust the car, not the cable. i'd rather walk. then i went to the tourist info counter, chatted a while & got them to help me change my Busan flight. done. went on to the Namsan Traditional Korean village which was 45 min walk away. i found it after a little bit of getting-lost here & there. reached there in 1 hr. well, it really wasn't fantastic. some koreans were filming there & the actor, who was decked in a beard & traditional costume, pointed to my oa! kley & gave his thumbs-up. aha. definitely, in this hot weather! aha. Tonight i'll check out in entirety this shopping area opp my motel. it's quite happening. Bought a pair of Polo socks for s$1+ coz last night i was desperately trying to dry my only pair of socks with the aircon. lesson learned. tomorrow i'll check out the ChangYonggung Palace up North fm my motel. There's supposed to be a series of shows there the whole day, incl those Changing-Guards thingy. aha. Then if i hv time in the day, will travel South to the War Memorial Museum. In evening, go to the famous shopping belt called Itae-Won. Sunday will be church-day. aha...the World's biggest church is here in Seoul and that's Yoida Full Gospel Church at Yoida. After service, I'll take a boat cruise (called the Hangang River Cruise, an hr) from Yoida to Ttuksom where there's supposed to be a Windsurfing area. I hope to windsurf a couple of hrs there. Monday will be more historical & educational stuff again...check out the Sodaemun Prison, Independence Park etc. Comparing Japan with Korea, i like japan many times more. the culture is richer & more happening. the people are more bold, entrepreunerial & charismatic. ya, i'll finally meet yasuko, my jap friend, at busan airport after a series of non-communication. i wont get a phone here after all. think there's no need. internet shops r everywhere. Finally, at the Korean Traditional Village phone booth, i managed to get my korean windsurfer friend on his handphone. i learnt from the girl at the Tourist Info booth that i need to add a 0 in front of all mobile no. cheh...no wonder. And i called my bf ker Wan & he was Shanghai airport, squeezing his way to check-in half an hr b4 the plane was flying off. ha, that's the typical China-adventure there...here's not as bad. I told him to spit to claim his territory & be more aggressive in jumping queue. hopefully he's in the plane now. aha.

Golly...it's been almost 4 months since i updated the good ol' Blogger. So much has changed, as always. Thank God for changes as they represent new-ness, virility, birth and challenge. It would have been a self-punishment if I try to list the changes in these 4 mths or to explain what had trespassed. The best would be to say what's on my heart right here, right now. Out of the overflowing of the heart the mouth speaketh and the fingers typeth...aha! The major blessing would have to be my wonderful partner, the only man in my life (oops! 2 actually...the other Most important man being Jesus aha)...no doubt we are thriving in the knowledge of love, life and living. It can be tough with 2 very different people put together but the plus-es are awesome. It's much more than just bringing the very best out of each other, we can even bring out beautiful qualities that we never ever knew existed in ourselves. Loving is not always easy and it can be the most frustrating thing when things just go by Murphy's Law. The rewards are greater than the trying times. My man has proposed over the the Vesak long wkends in nearby Bintan. I was surprised with a gorgeous solitaire diamond ring. Wow, there goes his budget for a full set of sail and board. Poor thing! aha...Moving on, we are planning for a nice church wedding and dinner to be held at the end of '03. I have all sorts of crazy ideas for that ideal wedding. Better not start dreaming again... The next good thing must be wrt windsurfing. What many would think to be stupid to drop out of the Asian Games, I would say to them 'you know nuthin about what I was going through so shut up!'. I tire of explaining myself out of this image of 'giving up', 'self-exaltation' or 'making u-turn'. It was none of that. It doesn't matter to me what people think because I have nothing to prove and no one to impress. Things are certainly getting better...thanks to The Windsurfing Shop, I received my first set of Formula equipment: Gaastra Nitro 3 9.0metre, AHD Formula Diamond 170 litres. Life has never been the same again. We've had 3 races over the last weekends. We didn't have the best fun and the strongest wind but it was great just racing. I look forward to 2 more races in the next 2 months. They are Singapore Windsurfing C'ship (20-21 July) & Pesta Sukan Windsurfing C'ship (August). I'm sooooo happy...I just bought a KONA U.S. Mountain bike & love biking during my lunch-time. I'm following a triathlon training program i.e. swimming, biking & running. When it's simply too hot to run, I'll pick up the bike & go. Meanwhile, Ker Wan & I have been shopping for a new bed. Yes yes, planning for wedding but I confess the impetus to plan isn't here yet. It's probably scheduled for end next year. Stay tuned to our invites.