Walking on Water!

Little Zebra

2010-06-24T21:40:00.004+08:00

SamSam had Face-Painting in School this morning and he chose to be a Zebra! This is most fitting cos he had a Zebra set of clothes and his teachers loved it. He was so proud of his Zebra face and kept laughing at himself in the mirror. It took alot of effort to persuade him to let us clean off the paint afterwards.

Singapore Science Centre

2010-06-23T21:00:00.021+08:00

Our Initial plan was to go for Samuel's massage and then the zoo but things don't always turn out the way we want. It took quite a while for me to decide what to do when he is done with school. I decided to go to the Singapore Science Centre and boy, before even entering, I was sold and signed up for Individual Membership. Hey, it's only $28 the whole year and it's free for kids below 3. It's great for rainy days (when I don't know what to do with him) and nice educational outing. Highly recommended. Not to mention there are plenty of shows, cafes, Macdonald's...lots to do there, really.

We watched the Beavers 2D movie at the Omni Theatre...NICE! The Science Centre is really so big and full of interesting exhibits that we only managed to go thru' only 40% of it (3 hrs).

Interesting animals including Exotic breeds. He loves this Big Bird!

Arctic Education: Polar bear & ball pool

Samuel learned about skeletons but he found it rather strange and can't relate it to a man.

Learning about Virus-all sorts including Mouth

SARS Bus which Samuel loved! He kept running in and out-sitting on the seat etc...

Sounds: Using sticks to make sounds on pots & pans, xylophone and cymbals...

Really a great excuse to include some Playhouses...they really know how to attract kids.

I can't remember what this was - possibly some kinetic energy thingy.

Low-ceiling Hamster & Mice room. Very cute.

Sound pipes: Samuel kept saying 'Hello'!

More fun with 'sounds' using a shoe sole to tap on the pipes.

Water Works: I didn't expect a water playground there so had to buy a new t-shirt to change him afterwards.

Learning how to 'Save Water'...xx litres washing dishes, xx litres for washing machine/washing car etc.

Finally, headed to Jurong Country Club for French Fries - a treat which I promised him if he will leave Water Works.

The green is tempting for running but now he's aware that he can't else Mommy will get scolded!

Art Garden, Resorts World & Universal Studios

2010-06-14T20:40:00.006+08:00

Art Garden @ Singapore Art Museum

We had a full day today! We re-visited the Art Garden again (we went last Friday) as it was so creative and different. The most notable pic is the collage of sketches below. It's amazing how artists use lots of technology, infra-red and creative lighting to make interactive art. The art pieces not only speak a message (whether it's global warming, save the earth, love the forests etc), they reach out to your soul in a deep way. It ensures that you will not forget the visual and the theme. Samuel remembered 'Don't chop the trees', 'Water the plants', 'Feed the Fish' messages...so cool.

We headed to Resorts World to check out the possibilty of going Universal Studios. Wow! It was indeed a different scene there. We did not feel like we're in Singapore! There were more tourists than locals there and the buzz is indeed 'happening'. They made great 'shelters' and mist fans everywhere-we did not even perspire. We did not manage to get into Universal Studios as tickets were sold out by 1pm. Muz be the Tour groups. Duh.

Lunch @ Hard Rock Cafe: HRC just opened not long ago and so its set Lunches were going for a fantastic $12.50 (soup or salad, main course, Haagen Dazs ice-cream & Soft Drink). All was fine till we sat down. The service staff really sucks! The local boys must have been drunk with World Cup as I waited forever to have someone take my order and needed lots of chasing for kids' utensils, water and finally, Samuel was eating & playing with ketchup as he was bored & hungry waiting for the food! *faint*

When the food came, everything's fine...the Fish N' Chips are pretty good. Samuel's favourite Haagen Dazs Ice-cream entertained him well and made everything not-nice forgettable. The interior decor is typical HRC, nice upbeat music and MTV...

Glimpse of the Universal Studios from the gate: It's really happening! Considering saving a few thousand $ flying to Tokyo or US, spending $66 is worth it. I'm considering buying the Annual Pass for $318 as it means a regular superfun haunt to go. Honestly, the atmosphere is fantastic! I really felt like I was in the Tokyo Disneyland which we went many years ago or the Gold Coast. It makes me feel so proud to be a Singaporean. We hung out at the hotels and high-end shopping malls...no $ for Chopard, Versace or LV, we belong to the beach.

A Bluff

2010-06-08T18:33:00.003+08:00

It wasn't meant to be...I mean, the wind. It came and went all too soon. It appeared to be promising so I rigged up quickly, rushed out only to be bobbing around the big blue sea. Couple other guys also tried their luck.

Samuel was really cute today. He tried very hard to stop me from working. He kept saying 'Mommy, stop work' and pulled me to lie down with him on Barney mattress, cuddle and play with him. With the list of emails I've yet to reply to, it was a struggle to make time to focus on my baby. It proved to be the most fruitful thing I've done today-with his big smiles and laughter filling the quiet shop. Nothing...beats being a Mommy!

Samuel's First Steps

2009-03-22T17:14:00.003+08:00

Rusty's Diary: Thurs, Friday and Sat (22- 24 Mar '07)

2007-03-24T22:10:00.000+08:00

Thursday: I am so happy to be going to the beach again. I can smell the sea from far away. Today we found a big stick and we played 'fetch' in the sea. I was so full of energy today, I jumped, hopped, sprinted and swam. Rachel threw the stick far away and I would swim to retrieve it. I never get tired of it so we did it again and again...I spent the rest of the day sleeping in the shop. Thank God it's Friday...Double Happiness: Beach + BBQ. I can smell the BBQ pit nursing its fire and the raw food nearby. Rachel motioned me to go to the beach and I knew fun is in the air. I leaped into the sea with great gusto, with the BBQ at the back of my head. I went crazy...I ran and sprang!! Woohooo...we played lots of 'Fetch' and after 15mins, I had to go for my shower. I love the towelling down best...I love to be hugged and rubbed!! hehe. My nose led me to the BBQ pit again...and my patience was rewarded when the food was cooked...I had my share of steak, lamb and dunno-what. Did I say it was a great sumptuous afternoon? After all was done, Rachel went back to the shop. I couldn't endure the smell and kept going to her to whine, and whine and whine...finally she brought me out. I hang around the boys, hoping they'll drop me some food! haha. Saturday: Windsurfing time! This time round, YY joined us with a camera in hand. I seem to be the star as I always have to look into the camera. Am I a star? There was no wind, but we tried to windsurf, in the big waves. It was so fun. Sometimes I jumped off the board to swim arou and. Then I'll struggle to get back up again. Rachel will pull me up by my coat and I'll be happy sitting on the board again. We posed in all directions and had alot of fun. I saw 2 Chihuahuas on the beach with their owners and decided to check them out. I leaped off the board to disturb the tiny dogs. 2 of them are not bigger than my leg. haha. They were scared of me so I came back to the board. Windsurfing is so fun! I lazed in front of the shop to sun tan...after I was dry, I duped Ker Wan to walk me to the beach to pee...and while he wasn't looking, I dipped in the sea again. Sure, I got scolded. Another highlight of the day was when Peanut Butter Man came with peanut butter bread for me. I love these guys. Life's a beach!

Rusty's Diary: Tues, 22 March '07 Windsurfing day!!

2007-03-23T10:13:00.000+08:00

Rachel thought I'm staying away from the sea after y'day's puking session, huh, no way! U know what I did? Once we reached the club, I ran straight to the sea for a dip, defying her instructions not to go. See, I do not believe her 'stern' commands anymore because she doesn't mean it ahaha...if I really make her angry, the most she does is give me a soft spanking on my face or paws. I wonder why as it doesn't hurt! I have a very thick fur coat. Anyway, I went swimming by myself, just to prove a point...I'm a sea-dog, hehe. Rachel always lets me disobey her because she wants me to be a happy doggie as well, and swimming is not destructive to anyone/thing. Plus, I get a nice towelling from her :) As usual, Rachel made me stay outside the shop to suntan (dry myself) while she does some work. This is another activity I love to do, lounging in the sun with a bone in my mouth...there's always a bowl of water outside the shop, a tennis ball, a silly cat toy and some treats she keeps somewhere if I'm a good boy. Life at The Windsurfing Shop is a beach...*yawn* 'Go Surfing' made me JUMP!! She meant it, because she went to this changing room and I alway know we are going somewhere when she gets out of the room. I couldn't hold my excitement and whined a little...she went 'wait wait...' Then we went out and she took this boat-board called 'Windglider' and a tiny 2.5m sail. We are going windsurfing! Before we went out, she made me try on this horrible life-jacket which prevented me from being able to walk. She asked me to 'go', but I stumbled...she laughed and laughed, I felt so horrible and embarrassed! Dogs walk around 'naked', my dear, we don't need 'clothes'. Plus, did I remind you that I am a champion swimmer-doggie? haha. We launched...I wasn't sure what to do after I jumped onto the board, I jumped off again. I can tell it wasn't what Rachel wanted me to do. She 'growled' at me, *snigger* Maybe I was supposed to stay ON the board? Soon I was swimming after her...hey, wait for me...I put my front paws on the board and she pulled me up with the life-jacket. I sat like a good boy while she windsurfed, further and further from the beach...Hmmm....I never swam that far before, it looks scary, but FUN. Its like sightseeing and how many doggies get to go windsurfing like me? I began to feel really cool, and so blessed to have such fun activities everyday. Did I mention that her bikinis are red and rather nice, though I prefer yellow, as it matches my Golden coat bettter? I have done this before so I did not get sea-sick this time...I'm enjoying it, baby. Rachel got tired so she lay down beside me, later on, she used me as a pillow. It's fine with me as I'm a really strong boy, and at 34kg, if I don't want to go somewhere, I'm not moving! hehe. At times, she'll sit beside me and we'lll talk, she'll ask for 'kiss' and I'll lick her on the face. Did I mention that I love the smell and taste of sea-water on her? Always make me feel at home and excited. Suddenly, she pushed me off the board and I realised I had to swim...oh, I had a life-jacket, this is quite nice...I'm floating. She started paddling and I swam really hard chasing her...so close and yet so far. I swam for a long time, but one thing I'm sure, I'm not drinking the sea-water...I cough out the water as I know it'll give me a bad tummy. Finally, I give up...I think she's making me swim hard just for exercise, so I decided to go back to shore myself. I cruised to shore and she called me to go to her. I stood at the water's edge and yelped...She brought the board nearer and I jumped on it. Yay! I can sit on the board again... It was so nice I almost fell asleep. Finally, we went back to shore, Rachel had to wash the gear and dirty dog me. I was so tired balancing myself on the board, I slept the afternoon away. Dinner is always fantastic...they spent a long time in the kitchen, I just slept there waiting...when the rice-cooker clicked, Rachel put rice in my doggie bowl, cracked an egg, doggie Supplements on top, mixed them all up...boy, my meals are made in heaven. There's this yellow 'plasticky' pill in my bowl each time, I always wonder what is it but I eat it anyway. She always says to me these will make me a handsome and strong doggie. Ahem! After dinner, I laze around the TV area and whenever there's food, you can trust me to do my work. haha. Life's a beach...

A day in the life of Rusty

2007-03-22T21:21:00.000+08:00

I am a 4 yr-old Golden Retriever boy and recently, I had a new family. I also had a new name, Rusty. I used to be called Harvey but it's ok, I will come to you if you call me with either. I love my new home, it is big with a nice garden, lots of options for pee and poo-ing. There are some fish ponds where there are koi in them, I've to be careful not to fall in it as I don't want to smell fishy; it's very shallow but with my superb swimming skills, it's pup's play. Lots of places to walk to, and many doors but I am a very quick learner. I was allowed to go upstairs a few times to see the jacuzzi, gym and rooms, but not recently...I guess maybe I leave too much fur behind haha. I love the words 'Go Surfing' and I go crazy when I hear that. I must share with you what I did on Monday. It was Rachel's off day on Mondays...these 2 weeks she's been very busy with housework. She was mopping the floor, doing laundry, cleaning toilets and shooing me off the floor every now and then. I almost lost all hope of an outing when all of a sudden, at 4pm, she told me 'Go Running'. I took the leash in my teeth and waited for her to get changed. I was so excited. You must understand that I don't get to go surfing on Sundays. It's my saddest day in the week as I am Home Alone. I love Tuesdays to Saturdays as I get to go with her to the beach! Yippee! She's ready! Off we went...I was so excited I sprinted out of the house...Rachel told me to slow down as we have a LONG way to go...what does that mean? We trotted along...past traffic lights, roads and sniff!! roads I've never been to. I kept plugging away...dogs like me never quit, we always follow our owners till we die (not knowing it). We passed canals that never seemed to end...finally I met a pretty Golden girl, then a mixed Lab puppy and some dark-looking people who seemed afraid of me. I always wonder why because I long to love people and I never hurt anyone. We crossed bridges...sniff! I smell the sea...wow, I think we are going Surfing!! We reached the beach after 45mins of running. That was quite a distance for me. Rachel did not allow me to swim even tho' I tugged towards the sea. She brought me to this Cable Ski park where people were going round and round...I tugged towards the pond as I wanted to jump in to swim. She stood there watching and I am restless...finally we walked to the beach. On the way, she made me stop at this shower and I thought I had to take a shower now? I don't understand why she keeps pointing my mouth towards the water? I am only thinking of the sea. Can we go now? Yay! We reached the sea and she unleashed me. I ran into the sea like a crazy doggie. I was so thirsty I drank in tons of sea-water. Wow it never tasted so good. I swam and soaked, she walked and teased me to run after her...the beach is endless, i love it. I must have swam for 20mins and also drank that amount of sea water. Suddenly, my tummy ached! I stood on the beach in pain...Rachel was so worried, she started wiping the bubbles off my mouth and she took off my collar. I can breathe, my dear, it's my tummy that hurts...the water built up in my mouth and I puked big time!! Rachel fussed over me, she thought I was dying. haha...I was silly to drink up the sea. Puke I go again. Arrgghhh!! She asked me if I'm ok and to rest at a nearby bench. I lay down and nursed my tummy. Everything's churning inside. Rachel called Ker Wan and told him RUSTY cannot make it. Boohoo...I can I can, I can walk back, just watch me! I showed her I can walk...wait, I've to poo first. Call it diarrhoea...it went straight into the soil, nutrients, they call it. I was determined to walk home, what if she doesn't bring me out again? I can't imagine that. So I walked and walked...I ignored all the dogs along the way... After 50mins, I can smell our estate...yay! The gate opened and I heaved a sigh of relief! Oops, she took out the shampoo which means I can't rest yet. Rachel is very particular about clean doggies so each time I surf, I've to shower too. Did I tell you I love it when she towels me dry? I love to be hugged and rubbed!! I remember my tummy ache now...I also lapped up the entire doggie bowl of water. My tummy feels funny and I did not finish my dinner. It's a waste, especially with the egg. I'll wait till supper time, just don't throw it away ok? Goldens don't waste doggie food!

2 year Hiatus

2007-03-22T19:41:00.000+08:00

It's been at least 2 years since I blogged! Perhaps I stopped reminiscing and being introspective about life. Or just taking a break? Lots happened...I was no longer dabbling in Sports Management anymore. Now I own a windsurfing pro shop together with my husband but of coz he keeps his job (to bring in the bacon). For the shop/biz, it's already almost 2 years...you can imagine the amount of change, work and foundation to put into this baby. I can't really blog about my business as it's not nice for my customers to hear this. That said, I must say that it's one of the best things to happen to me, and I really am enjoying every moment of it. I love windsurfing and kitesurfing, it's not a dream job, it's a dream! My business trips are sometimes races, attend windsurfing events, meet suppliers etc...always interesting and 100% my passion. Everything gets me really hyped up, I think about my biz 24/7 and there's no such thing as off day or 'after office hours'. I sincerely want to give my customers my very best, from customer service, advice and quality of equipment. I love racing...i've been windsurfing for 15 yrs and it's one of the best things in my life. Windsurfing gave me an adventurous life, wonderful friends, unforgettable experiences, a husband and a healthy body! Among all the different sports and trainings, windsurfing is still top on my list. Cycling is great, fast, finesse, techniques, tactics and i like the idea abou t good gear. Triathlons is great on pain factor, endurance, mental stamina and 'nice bod' too. Running and track stuff...enough....golf is nice social game...I don't know when I can end this...I am trying to say wind/kitesurfing are the best! I miss pain and hard training! , I'll be blogging as Rusty Harvey, my beloved best buddy Golden Retriever, whom I adopted in December '06. I endeavour to see life thru' his endearing life, as he has taught me much even in these 4 mths. Life is so much more meaningful with Rusty in my life and I can never imagine otherwise. Rusty is the most gentle, loving, endearing 4-yr old GR, all 34kgs of him! His favourite sport is windsurfing! Woof!

Asian Tsunami Relief Operations Missions Trip 2-8 May 05 (New Creation Church) Venue: Phang Nga, Krabi, Khao Lak and Phuket (Thailand)

2005-05-10T18:02:00.000+08:00

My Reflection I thought through how I was going to pen down my thoughts about this mission trip. Initially I thought it was going to be a breeze as there were so many wonderful things to say and to share with all my friends and family. Good things are easy to say, isn’t it? Not so. Then I found myself struck with inertia and speechlessness. Or perhaps I am still mired in awe of the miracles that took place and in adoration of the God I served. I am merely speechless. The Devastation: The devastation was evident in the eyes of the people. The sadness, grief and emptiness pierce deep into my heart and screams helplessly into my spirit. If I thought I had known what is pain and loss, check out these people who have lost their homes, their livelihoods, their loved ones (some, their whole families) and face a life ahead of emptiness, loneliness and purposelessness. The pictures of the dead, decomposed bodies, missing persons posters make one numb! That’s what it does to me…it sucks out the life of me, and leave me numb, lifeless and unbelieving. These bodies were black, bloated and beyond human form, most still had their clothes on, the beachgoers were still in their bikinis and trunks which became identification tools. Pictures of tattoos, watches, rings, and other accessories were quickly used to be identify the person. These people are devoid of human respect, reduced to no more than items to be identified, and short descriptions of ‘Foreigner, Thai, Male/Female or Child’. These were poignant scenes that will reside in my conscious mind forever, reminding me that eternal life is the most important thing in this earth, as our bodies will die and decompose one day, and be no more than items to be burnt. Relief centres were set up at venues where villages were destroyed. In place of homes were identical small containers neatly built in rows. One for each family. There will also be a Temporary Health Care Unit to tend to the sick and ill. Babies were mostly naked (only saw 1 baby clothed) with no milk powder to drink. The men were usually not around, loitering around looking for work to do or chatting together with the other men. The women took care of the children, hung up laundry and chat with neighbours at their door-steps. Life was reduced to living by the day, waiting and nothing to look forward to. After the tsunami, the weather became intensely hot, dry and dirty. Children and even adults were seen sitting helplessly, hosing themselves down for long periods of time. Human pride and stoical attitudes were prevalent in one or two villages. Perhaps it was due to the hardship they’ve been through, they were stoical in front of us, rejecting our help, receiving only our food donations. Their expressionless faces reveal their lives as it is, lifeless and meaningless, yet unwilling to embrace change and help. Grace and mercy to them. The land was bare. One has to look at a pre-tsunami picture to know how a place used to be. Before us were stretches of bare lands with coconut trees standing tall that survived the storms. Resorts, houses and buildings were simply swept away wholesale. God showed me that what is man-made will not survive the storms of life, but what is of God will stand tall and live! How a great revelation this is to us who put priority on material things and trust in man. Such things will fade away but the Word of God will live forever. The Restoration and Miracles: The New Creation Mission Team visited the following 10 villages: Sankoo, Klong Dao, Nai Rai, Khao Lak, Putheao, Nan Kim 1, Nan Kim 2, Nan Kim 3, Bangniang and Ka Kat. If I could write the lessons learnt and revelations of God’s grace and love into books, the world would not be big enough to contain. The team penetrated the dark side with no prior knowledge of what we should not do and what is impossible. We were armed with 2 weapons- Gospel and the Anointing. The Gospel reached the depths of the hearts of the broken-hearted, lost, lonely and grieving. The Anointing pulled them out of the broken state and restored to them an overwhelming sense of peace and love. The miracles were both spectacular and supernatural. When Wasana was slain in the spirit, man saw the spectacular presence and anointing of God. I was more touched and most awe-struck when the Love of God embraced Keaw so aggressively and yet so loving. Even my fellow Jouchae who laid her hands on Keaw behind her, was touched by the anointing love and was sobbing. I realized that indeed, at the end of the day, what truly matters and that which touches the deepest depth is the Love of God. The Love is the eternal and the permanent anointing that heals a person from the inside-out, not outside-in. This loving feeling will remain clear in my mind, especially in times when I feel lonely and empty. When we asked Amber, the American missionary stationed in Chiangmai, why she is in missions for so many years. She said that when she sees lives changed and hearts healed, she knows it’s all worth it. Well said, what price can we put to healing for the sick/injured, love to the lonely, joy to the grieving, a smile to the sad, a sense of purpose and destiny to the lost and prosperity to the poor? At what price? The life of Jesus Christ! God paid the ultimate price with His Son so that we can be heirs with Him and receive all the blessings. How great and how awesome is His love. Fellow missionaries: Fellow missionaries just like you and me, salaried workers who live in decent urban comfort but who complain about stress and everything-not-enough. The mission trip made angels out of the worst ‘devils’ in us. Praise God that He is Lord and is Boss. ‘Room-mate’, as Samantha is called, is a funny girl who doesn’t know she is funny. Real, sincere and unaware of who she is, stumble along life with joy and simple pleasures. From Day 1, I felt led to tell her that she must receive the gift of tongues and learn to speak the heavenly language. This will help her to move in the spirit and all those things. For nights, I also took it upon myself to urge and encourage her to rise up beyond where she is, to fly with the eagles and not walk with the turkeys. That she must realize the potential God has placed in her, and to discover the destiny and calling God has placed in her. We talked till 2-3am on most nights. When I am not around, she takes care of my Snoopy and talks to him as I had instructed. Snoopy is my soft toy who comes along as my surrogate husband for hugging purposes when I sleep. Room-mate would turn on the TV for Snoopy to watch while we go out on missions. She does a great job of practising the Thai massage on Snoopy without accepting a baht. Thanks Room-mate, future Daughter-in-law, as she says she is now Snoopy’s girlfriend. *faint* That’s Room-mate for you. Last night, we had sms-Beach-talk. She sms-ed to ask if Snoopy misses her. Yeah, he did. A pretty version of ‘Golliwog’ is Jacquelyn, with ‘lyn’, not ‘line’, as she specifically tells me. Ok, noted, Jac. Golliwog has strange curly hair at the ends, and jet black hair which God must have accidentally poured black ink on her hair when He was creating her. I shall ask God when we all go to Heaven one day. Golliwog is my age and half my size. She likes bright green panties, oops! Golliwog is really nice, and quite a confidante I am sure. We could share many chapters of our lives, and thoroughly understanding how we feel, without pretending to (which some people do). You know what I’m talking about?! She’s gonna be one gal I’m hanging out with. June, not May or July…is the spunky lady who went scuba diving in Phuket 2 weeks before our mission trip. She asked me head and tail about skydiving in New Zealand, windsurfing, kitesurfing and other exciting stuff. My deepest conversation with June was when we were indulging in the 2 hours Thai Massage. I told her I would call her out for golf one fine day. It was funny that her golf club is near my home (east) and mine near her home (west). Deacon Raj, better known as the interesting guy who has hair in his ears. He is so cool and secure in the Lord that stares from people don’t bother him one feather. He is anointed, real sweet and who else had waited up for me and Room-mate (and also James but Deacon didn’t really care about the guys haha) till 1:30am in the morning as we hung out late at night without telling anyone? I’m touched! Many wonderful new friends I made but I just don’t have the time to do a description of. Forgive me. I am Changed! I am just so changed, inside-out and outside-in! My perspective of life, God, family and everything is now saturated with a purposeful touch! No, I’m not talking about objectifying the poor and making myself feel fortunate and blessed, at their expense. No. I am now so sure of myself, my calling and my destiny. I am so sure of my place in this world, and what I can do to make the world a better place, knowing that God will back me up and indeed, God WILL SHOW UP! I was surprised my husband could still recognize me as I am indeed changed! Ok, cut that out, corny. I endeavour to live each day with the intimate consciousness of His love and grace upon my life. All of Jesus, None of me. Testimonies: Below are testimonies of the ladies I had the privilege of praying for and laying hands on. All glory to Jesus that they experienced healing almost instantly and more importantly, knew that Jesus loved them and received Christ into their hearts. Testimony 1: Maliya, 30 years old, has the condition of suddenly slipping into a coma and unconsciousness, and in the process, hurt herself quite badly. She showed wounds of her injuries which included stitches from the falls. Her eyes also cannot see properly. She has been having this condition since she was 14 years old. After prayer, she testified that she felt light and her burdens removed. She felt a transfer of faith that she is no longer worried and is confident that this condition will not come back again. Testimony 2: After the first prayer, Yupen, 48 years old, felt that the pain in her leg had eased a great deal. Upon a translation of her testimony, we prayed a second time for complete healing and she testified that she felt heat went through her leg and the pain was completely gone. Testimony 3: A few days before the tsunami, Wasana, 34 years old, experienced seizures and had many problems which she never had before. It was suspected that she may be spirit-possessed. She also does not know how to handle such attacks whenever she has them. She had received Christ when she was 7 years old but did not further her christian journey and growth as her husband (who left her for another woman, did not allow her to go to church). After the first prayer, she said she felt her hands shivering, suddenly cold and felt the presence of God. She was tearing and wanted more prayer. A second prayer was administered and specifically, casting out demons or spirits in her. She was slain in the spirit for about 5 minutes. When she came to, she said she felt weak and still shivering, but a big burden lifted off. She later invited us to her home to pray over her mother and son, as well as over her home. We advised her to rid the idols in her home and anointing oil was used on the doorposts and windows in her house. Testimony 4: During the tsunami, On (44 yrs old) was pushed into a phone booth and she injured her back. After prayer, she testified that the pain is all gone and she is healed. Testimony 5: Arirat (39 yrs old) had headache for a couple of years which comes suddenly. This could be due to worry. Peace, clarity of mind and freedom from worry was prayed on her and after the prayer, she testified that she had the faith that the headache will not come back again. She was joyful upon feeling the peace and had faith that she is healed. Testimony 6: Noosent (39 yrs old) experienced headache, possibly migraine, which was very painful and all over the head. After the prayer, she said the headache was completely gone. Testimony 7: During the prayer, a strong anointing of the love of God was prayed on Keaw (28 yrs old) and a tangible love anointing broke her into sobbing for almost 10 minutes. She did not respond physically to a hug but cried uncontrollably and remained hugged, and releasing all the grief she felt inside. Later, she testified that she lost her elder sister in the tsunami and she revealed that she really missed her. She now feels peaceful in her heart and feels the love of God. This lady showed the suicide wounds on her wrist. This lady was greatly ministered to by the love of God and that healed her broken heart. Testimony 8: Jamya (50 yrs old) had pain in her legs (operation wounds) from a motorbike accident 4 years ago and her body was also aching. After the prayer, she felt much better. Testimony 9: Bem (52 yrs old) has asthma and breathing difficulties which gets worse due to cough. Her lungs would be in discomfort and her symptoms appeared to be Pneumonia. After prayer, she testified that she felt much better and just as the team was leaving the village, she testified that she has easy and clear breathing. She started to smile and looked visibly joyous and relaxed. Testimony 10: This elderly lady, Lun, 65 yrs old was sitting in a corner with a walking stick by her side and a friend beside her. She was invited from the next Muslim village which was presumably not receptive to the gospel and non-Thai speaking. We had not known these facts. We felt led to ask her if we could pray for her. We prayed for the joy and peace of the Lord to come on her. She had tears in her eyes and she testified that even the pain in her knees were healed. She felt much better during the prayer and her friend testified that she is visibly changed after the prayer in all these years. She had also, in the past, rejected 2 local pastors' prayers. She had, however, allowed us to pray for her, revealing that indeed, the favour of God was on the NCC mission team. Testimony 11: Before prayer, the elderly lady's eyes were hurting, she was feeling nausea and dizzy all the time. Her knees also hurt. She had these conditions for many years and after prayer, all the pain and discomfort were gone. Praise God and all Glory to Jesus!

Enterprise 50

2004-11-08T17:59:00.000+08:00

Enterprise 50 I attended the E50 Gala Dinner last Friday at Swissotel and it was nicccce. Nice in many ways, more intrinsic than extrinsic. Not Extrinsic because the ang moh food is certainly insufficient for Singaporeans' tummies. Father-in-law said we have to follow-up with supper because he's still hungry. Intrinsic because being a 'clapper' at the event inspired me to work harder and persevere towards being an awardee some day. Brother-in-law (BIL) went up stage as husband just returned from overseas couple of days ago and just felt like being a spectator. Husband took photos. BIL said that the top companies had billions $ turnover. Wow! That's something all of us would like to work towards, don't we? haha. Already, I am so proud of my husband and the company for being in top 20 almost every year. It is a milestone, a big achievement and certainly, there's more to be achieved. There is also something about a fellow lady businessperson being an inspiration to the rest of the female entrepreneurs. Haach's Ponz Goo was one of the few ladies on stage. Her red dress and her porcelain skin stood her out from the group of similar-looking black-tuxedoed men. Her company was not ranked too highly but indeed, it's successful. That's why I chose to do my facials at Haach too...I liked and identified with their company vision. I told my husband that in 2 years, I hope to be among the winners for the Startup prizes! So far, it's doing ok...it's able to finance my new vehicle which is arriving end of this month. His name is Surfsnoop. I already have my Snoopy car accessories - seat-belts, gear stick, handbrake and neck-pillows. Jetting off to Tokyo for a 5-days hols this Thursday. This hols will be our annual 'honeymoon', making use of the 2 public hols, it's a steal. Husband has planned Disneyland, Disney Sea, lots of shopping and meeting Jap windsurfer friends for dinner and sight-seeing. Not too enthu about the earthquakes though. :) Then going off to Pattaya for a windsurfing race on1 Dec for a week. At this point in time, it is not certain that there may be a Ladies category at 05 SEA Games. If none, life goes on and the prize may well be an Entrepreneurial one, rather than Sports. Between the 2, I very much prefer the Business prize. There's too many exciting things to look forward to, such as collecting my new saddle tonight! No, I've not given up cycling, but I've not been riding since LCK race. Perhaps thrice in total since Aug, each about 100km, for fun. I've no team, only friends who are always there whenever I want to ride. Isn't this more precious?

The Conveyor Belt

2004-06-19T21:50:00.000+08:00

Life is like a conveyor belt of Japanese food, moving the many dishes along. Each plate is a different colour, of different value, each covered with a transparent plastic, alluring one to uncover it, to taste it and to consume it. Each day, different events, people and situations pass our way…much like the dishes do…they move along like little floats at Chingay, enticing and alluring us to temptation. Try me, try me, as though it is calling out to us. Sometimes the dish we uncover is great, it makes us smile and is delicious. Another dish may look nice but taste horrid. We learnt through our experiences to uncover those that we know very well, part to protect and for pleasure. Along the way are the spices of life, the wasabe. These things titillate our senses and occasionally an overdose sets the nostrils tingling! We like it that way, don’t we? It may mean getting burnt, hurt or exposed, but we do it knowing full well the consequences. Call it courage or stupidity, there is little difference between the two. I prefer to call it impulse-the excuse word for forgetfulness to consult the mind and rationale. It is strange that we continually choose this path despite being hurt time and again. Perhaps one just wants to follow the heart? There is no need to explain why, is there? Today I was forced to uncover a dish I did not expect myself to, and it was not what I expected in it. I was also not ready to pay the price stated. But I had to. The dishes came all at once and my confused mind tried to grapple with all the favors-it was bitter, bitter and more bitter. I found myself choking inside, I don’t really know what to do, what to say and how to feel? I just felt like my heart got cut. It was a strange feeling. Does this mean so much to me? Most importantly, the reason is not what everyone thinks is. But I cannot begin to explain it, it will appear like a loser's excuse. I'd rather not. My life does not depend on it, I tried convincing myself. I guess it hurts as much to behold an item of great beauty and to see it go, knowing that I cannot own it. It is better to let it go now, than never. Now I wonder if I would allow myself the courage to be discovered again? It will bring upon vulnerability, hurt and betrayal. Again, the tender heart is bruised. I wonder how and when it could be healed and fit to go back onto the saddle again. Maybe not ever again…

End of the Ride

2004-06-17T16:52:00.000+08:00

It has been 7 months exactly since I’ve started road cycling on 16 Dec ‘03. To say the least, it has been an eye-opener to my small world of road training and racing, and delving into the deepest emotions and minds of cyclists. Though it may be too short to call it a ‘career’, the extreme myriad of emotions, the intense way I pushed myself at trainings, picked myself up after I failed and talked myself out of depression after bad rides…all worth a good long chapter in my biography. The friends I made during this period were as diverse as the east is from the west, great as well as nasty. Everything in these 7 months is intense, extreme and deep. Emotions wreak havoc when I think about the kind of investment I made and I mean, in emotional terms. It is unbelievable, even to myself…sometimes I feel guilty, at times indifferent, other times convinced I allowed myself over-vulnerable. I felt sorry for myself. All that I did was sincere, impulsive, real and emotional. To say I lived with a carpe diem attitude alone is shallow as it carried more than just a ‘seize the day’ without an emotional investment. I allowed myself to be discovered, to be revealed and made vulnerable. Against all hope of cynicism and skepticism, I maintained a genuine heart of care and sincerity. This could not, however, resist the forces of hurt perceptions and seared hearts. I became a victim instead. It brought on much tears. Cycling was a unique journey that revealed a part of myself which I never saw. I never anticipated the scenery that I would see during this ride, the bumps along the way and the many crashes I experienced emotionally. It was never, never this deep. I had not quite experienced such an emotional depth as this in quite a long time. Call it chance, destiny, chemistry, connection or pure coincidence, the fireworks came and now it’s over. Perhaps it happened too fast, too deep and too intense for comfort. The untrained heart is unable to handle. The seared heart did not even notice a difference or the wound it caused. It had done this many times, and this adds to the record, that’s all. Today, I am thinking of ending this journey on wheels. I will stop riding. The journey must end here before it puts any more strain on the concerned persons. It should not have ended this way, it should not have, and need not have. I cannot think of a reason to carry on, and the very reasons I had started may be wrong reasons. But they were reasons strong enough to get me up at 4:25am training 4 times a week and giving my all for the races. These reasons yielded decent results. These very reasons are why I should stop riding. It is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the way the wheel is.

Blasphemy?

2004-04-07T14:58:00.000+08:00

Have I been sacrilegious in calling my rides ‘sacred’? Sometimes I feel a tinge of guilt for doing that, because sometimes, the rides really aren’t quite sacred. And I mean it in every sense of the word ‘un-sacred’. You see, sometimes I am not all focused on the task at hand, i.e. riding. At other times, I am distracted by worldly desires and pressing issues. Yet at other times, I am purely selfish – this can include, riding to lose weight, riding to de-stress or riding to have something to do because my husband is yet again out of town. The blasphemy lies in the very twist of believing my rides are sacred when they aren’t (well, not always). The dynamics of human interaction, group behaviour and social communication just adds to that complexity. I observe the way the cyclists ride their bikes, it’s probably the same way they lead their lives. Being a hopeless romantic myself, I cannot help but enjoy the romance of dawn, totally at peace with my emotions. At other times, in total emotional disaster and disarray, and that’s probably when I am distracted, too quiet and ignoring the present company. Perhaps at times, I feel like I’ve lost the affection and attention I thought I used to have. Perhaps it is the tension of uncertainty, the very same tension that can bring about excitement and a certain high. Let’s just say that women are probably confused creatures, contradict ourselves, give mixed signals and sensitive at the wrong times. I’ve just proved it, didn’t I? SACA Road Race 2, Changi Business Park 4 April 2004 It seemed like ages since the first road race…it must had to do with my very erratic life since that day. I was a workaholic the moment March began, working overtime and overworked for a sports conference my department was organizing. It ended on 13 March, during which I fell ill, boss told me no way he can afford me taking sick leave…so I pressed on. 14 March was my birthday, yet another milestone, to mark incremental aging and depletion of youth. By then, I had not gone for my rides for 2 weeks because of work and the nagging illness/fatigue. I embarked on a painful comeback on Tuesday, 16 March. It wasn’t painful, I felt like dying. My legs were heavier than lead, my lungs were deflated and my will was weak. I gave up on myself, tears already forming in my eyes, threatening to roll down my cheeks. I told my teammate I needed to pick up my fitness b4 riding with the team again. The next day, I heard 2 new ‘babes’ joined the team for training. I skipped the ‘babe-watch’ and went for my own secret ride, fighting my ghost of failure alone. Then on Friday, 19 March, I came back riding with the team again, hoping I was in acceptable shape. Coach was riding with me the 2 laps of Changi, which I was totally grateful for. He wasn’t just there for me when I’m fit, he cared to ride and pull me when I’m down and slow. He also shared about how “Dynamics relates to how a rider constantly maximizes the bike and body efficiencies to match and produce maximum power or control over the constantly changing terrain encountered in cycling.” Whatever that meant, I figured it out for myself. It helped that I was in the analytical mode for speed-testing for my new windsurfing gear. Each session, I tuned my sail differently, analysed the effects of that day’s conditions on my sail, board and fin. I also changed new fins, shifted the mast track position, and tried as many permutations of gear combination with as many wind/wave conditions. My new sail is a model of North Sails called R Type, not to be confused with Honda Type R. R Type is an awesome sail, it’s like I had jumped from a 1.6litre car to a 3litre car without being fitted with an equivalent engine. I did not have the weight to hold down the power, especially when the wind picks up. I had to tweak with the tuning and change different fins to manage the differences. You see, fins are like wheels. It’s the only contact with the water and it’s very very important. Since I started riding, I kept a diary, only include the mileage for each ride after the SACA Road Race 1 coz it was then that I learnt how to use the speedo to clock each ride’s distance. By the time I applied my understanding of speed dynamics from windsurfing to cycling, and making adjustments to the way I ride. On my 29th ride on 29 March, (how significant), I felt the improvement. I endeavoured to maintain and stabilize that new-found riding style. I wasn’t confident that I managed a breakthrough in my riding, hence not able to decide if I was going to race on 4 April. Then I thought I should just race to be there to support my team and be a good sport. Told coach I was racing the day (3 April) before race day. I turned up on race day and there goes…looking forward to more riding…Waves and wheels are great!

Life is...

2004-02-09T14:11:00.000+08:00

Life is… "An athlete has to somehow figure out how to enrich the people around him, and not just himself. Otherwise, he's purposeless." - Lance Armstrong (Every Second Counts, page 211) Awfully true…it doesn’t sound so true until the fragility of life hits you in the face. Fresh from a series of races in both Formula and Shortboard, I was still high from the adrenaline treats racing and competing when a friend called to bring me sombre news. A friend had committed suicide and we are invited to the funeral wake. * crash * She is 23 and approaching the prime of her youth. I asked ‘why?’ and it seems, no one knows. Vera had always put on a cheerful disposition, despite me not being a close friend to her, I knew her from church youth ministry. I could not believe and I do not want to believe. It is too surreal. Everything I was doing at that time seems trivial, the windsurfing races, the career, the business, the gossip talks…what had appeared important immediately loses its primary value when juxtaposed with something of immeasurable value, Life. I would do anything to help a friend embrace hope again, I would give everything to have a friend to feel love again, and I would do anything to have a friend Live again… I wonder what is the best way to live life? How should we live life such that it is truly meaningful? Each person’s definition of ‘meaning’ and ‘life’ differs so greatly that one may murder to feel powerful and the other indulges in full-time missionary work to help the less fortunate. I do not have an answer but I figure that as long as someone is in need of love, I would give. If someone needs a lunch, I will buy. If someone needs a hug, I would embrace. If someone need a listening ear, I will be there. I guess that’s all I can do…

Asian Windsurfing Tour 2004

2004-02-09T13:15:00.000+08:00

Press Release Courtesy Andrew Owen Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, Presented by Fosters The 10th Mana Mana Amslam, Presented by Neil Pryde 29-31 January 2004 Date: 5 February 2004 Two races were run today to open the 10th Mana Mana Amslam, the fourth event on the Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, presented by Foster’s. Defending Champion Robbie Radis from Australia took the first race but in the second he was beaten by Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo. At the end of the day Radis leads ahead of a consistent Bo Ruamsap of Thailand with Yoon in third. Every windsurfer knows the wind gods can be both fickle and cruel. For hours today the fleet of international windsurfers sat on a beach, albeit a beautiful one, and watched as the wind speed hovered just below an acceptable minimum. Every now and then gusts would arrive and a murmur would travel around the beach. But the murmurs would subside with the beach flags. Finally in mid afternoon the teasing was over and the fleet was able to take to the water. Wind speeds still hung at around 12 knots, a very gentle breeze, but just enough to start this year’s Mana Mana Amslam. This is the 10th year of the event and it has grown in both size and reputation. 46 competitors from 10 countries are competing for the title champion – and for the points they will receive towards the Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour Title. Going in to this event defending Adecco AWT Champion Robbie Radis from Australia is looking strong ahead of Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and the UK’s Paul Philips. Other sailors to watch at this years Mana Mana Amslam will be Singaporean champion Andrew Foo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap (an Asian games Gold Medallist). In the ladies division Singapore’s Rachel Ng goes head to head again with Japan’s Ayako Suzuki. Windsurf racing is quite simple with the fleet of sailors crossing the start line as a clock reaches “zero” and racers travelling around a series of buoys or marks before crossing a finish line. The first across the line wins…. And the first race was a simple “Speed Dash” out to sea, around one mark and back to the finish line near shore. Across the start line it was clear that Radis, racing on his largest Neil Pryde RS4 race sail, had the board speed to win. But both Ruamsap and Yoon maintained contact but they could not really threaten a dominant Radis. A strong first race and perhaps a little daunting for the rest of the fleet. But the second race of the day was different. Yoon, who is also racing on the new RS4 sails, was also powered up and this time rounded the first mark ahead of both Ruamsap and Radis. The Australian was clearly not invincible and although Radis recovered into second position the victory was Yoon’s. Said Yoon “I am very happy to beat Robbie in the race. That first race showed that he has good speed and that he is in form. But I managed to beat him to the first mark and that was the key. We have two more days of racing and I’m still in third place behind both Robbie and Bo so I cannot get carried away.” Tonight the fleet travels north on Bintan to the Club Med resort for another night of partying on the Adecco AWT and racing will continue tomorrow. Stronger winds are forecast with those fickle wind gods saving the best until Saturday. Date: 6 February 2004 In another day of light winds only one slalom race was held today at the Mana Mana Amslam on Bintan, Indonesia. Winning the race was the familiar face of Robbie Radis from Australia while behind him was Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap. In fourth was Wang Yew Pang of Singapore. Rachel Ng (Singapore) meanwhile continued her incredible form to finish eighth in the race, beating all the women and most of the men. A challenging slalom course was set by Race Directors Klaus Michel and Ho Kah Soon. The 46-man fleet had to travel downwind around three marks before crossing the finish line off Mana Mana’s pristine white sands. Wind speeds were very gentle at 12 knots, occasionally gusting higher. It was plain that some of the fleet on smaller boards and smaller sails were struggling to get any momentum as they worked their way upwind to the startline. As the clock hit zero and the race began Radis burst across the line but was surrounded by a close pack of chasing sailors. Foremost amongst them was Singapore’s Wang Yew Pang and TC Chua with Bo Ruamsap snapping at their heals. Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo had had a bad start and was behind the consistently impressive Rachel Ng. Ayako Suzuki meanwhile, was again struggling for board speed and lagged behind. Around the first mark Yoon carved inside of Ruamsap and Ng and jumped up the fleet. As he hit the second mark he had overtaken Chua and was closing in on Wang. Plainly Yoon wanted to go all the way after his victory in the previous race. By the third and final mark Yoon had passed Wang to take second spot and he now focused on Radis, the Australian champion. But Radis was too fast and too far ahead and Yoon had to settle for second with Ruamsap again in third ahead of Wang in fourth. A smiling Ng crossed in eighth while Suzuki languished far back in the fleet. Date: 6 February 2004 Radis was now looking more secure at the top of the leader board with one more day of racing remaining “after losing that last race to Yoon I needed this and with only one race run today it was doubly important. I’ve got a slim 4 point lead at the moment so I can’t rest. But I’m happy”. Ng leads the ladies division comfortably and is showing many of the men how to sail “well I’m very proud of my sailing so far and it’s good to be in eighth. But in such light winds I do have a bit of an advantage because of my light weight. Certainly I think that Ayako is struggling a bit with the light conditions –but I’m used to this and I’m loving it.” Tonight there is a Foster’s Party at Mana Mana Beach Club as the Amslam celebrates it’s 10th anniversary and racing will continue tomorrow (Saturday) before the crowning of the new champion tomorrow night. Press Release Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, Presented by Fosters courtesy Andrew Owen, Proteus Sports The 10th Mana Mana Amslam, Presented by Neil Pryde 29-31 January 2004 In another day of light winds only one slalom race was held today at the Mana Mana Amslam on Bintan, Indonesia. Winning the race was the familiar face of Robbie Radis from Australia while behind him was Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap. In fourth was Wang Yew Pang of Singapore. Rachel Ng (Singapore) meanwhile continued her incredible form to finish eighth in the race, beating all the women and most of the men. A challenging slalom course was set by Race Directors Klaus Michel and Ho Kah Soon. The 46-man fleet had to travel downwind around three marks before crossing the finish line off Mana Mana’s pristine white sands. Wind speeds were very gentle at 12 knots, occasionally gusting higher. It was plain that some of the fleet on smaller boards and smaller sails were struggling to get any momentum as they worked their way upwind to the startline. As the clock hit zero and the race began Radis burst across the line but was surrounded by a close pack of chasing sailors. Foremost amongst them was Singapore’s Wang Yew Pang and TC Chua with Bo Ruamsap snapping at their heals. Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo had had a bad start and was behind the consistently impressive Rachel Ng. Ayako Suzuki meanwhile, was again struggling for board speed and lagged behind. Around the first mark Yoon carved inside of Ruamsap and Ng and jumped up the fleet. As he hit the second mark he had overtaken Chua and was closing in on Wang. Plainly Yoon wanted to go all the way after his victory in the previous race. By the third and final mark Yoon had passed Wang to take second spot and he now focused on Radis, the Australian champion. But Radis was too fast and too far ahead and Yoon had to settle for second with Ruamsap again in third ahead of Wang in fourth. A smiling Ng crossed in eighth while Suzuki languished far back in the fleet. Radis was now looking more secure at the top of the leader board with one more day of racing remaining “after losing that last race to Yoon I needed this and with only one race run today it was doubly important. I’ve got a slim 4 point lead at the moment so I can’t rest. But I’m happy”. Ng leads the ladies division comfortably and is showing many of the men how to sail “well I’m very proud of my sailing so far and it’s good to be in eighth. But in such light winds I do have a bit of an advantage because of my light weight. Certainly I think that Ayako is struggling a bit with the light conditions –but I’m used to this and I’m loving it.” Tonight there is a Foster’s Party at Mana Mana Beach Club as the Amslam celebrates it’s 10th anniversary and racing will continue tomorrow (Saturday) before the crowning of the new champion tomorrow night. Japan’s Ayako Suzuki (centre), so far unbeaten on the Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, is fighting a losing battle against Singpapore’s Rachel Ng. Rachel is not only winning the ladies division but lies in eighth position overall. Date: 7 February 2004 Winds roared into Bintan today clocking up to 21 knots and in perfect conditions five full rounds of racing were run. After four days of competition Robbie Radis was once again crowned champion of the Mana Mana Amslam. The battle for second place raged all day with Singapore’s TC Chua challenging Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo and Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap. In the last races of the day Yoon managed to clinch the second place ahead of Ruamsap and Chua had to settle for fourth. Bintan was alive with activity very early today (Saturday) as winds roared in from the South China Sea. These were the conditions that everyone had been waiting (and praying) for. With wind speeds hovering around 20 knots all day and a generous sea swell the conditions were challenging. And with some frustrating light wind days preceeding this, the Race Directors had a hard day planned for the 46-man fleet. Going into this final day of racing Robbie Radis was looking comfortable at the top of the leaderboard while beneath him the struggle was furious. No favourites could be found between Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo, Thailand’s Bo Ruamsap and Singaporean sailors TC Chua, Andrew Foo and Wang Yew Pang. In the second race of the day TC Chua of Singapore showed a startling return to form finishing second ahead of Ruamsap and Andrew Foo. But then it was time for Yoon to stake his claim, this time finishing second ahead of Chua and Ruamsap. Now, after seven races only a quarter of a point separated Yoon and Ruamsap with Chua close behind. Said Chua before the race “well we have to accept that we can’t catch Radis this time. His gear is well tuned, he is fit – and he’s been to every stop on the Tour of course. But we have a fight on for second place. After recent injury worries I’m just pleased to be out there being competitive”. Yoon was more fired up saying “I just need to finish ahead of Bo (Ruamsap) and I’ll be confirmed in second place. I am going fast and I’m confident. But there’s many good sailors out there and the conditions are hard. All I know for sure is that I’ll try my best”. Across the start line all the top sailors crossed as a pack and it was still unclear who was in the lead as they descended upon the first mark. And it was Yoon ahead of Chua and Englishman Paul Philips. Ruamsap had slipped to fifth. And with everyone keyed up and flying he would have to rely on the mistakes of others. And despite the strong winds and huge swells no mistakes were made and across the line it was Radis from a jubilant Yoon, a resurgent Chua, a surprised Philips and finally a frustrated Ruamsap. There was one more race run and some of the lower places would still be settled but the top of the leader board remained the same. Radis is crowned champion again with Yoon in second, Ruamsap in third with Chua settling for fourth. Said Radis “I’m really happy to be champion here again. This is the first ever event on the Adecco AWT that I ever won and it’s special for me. We had such good conditions today that the light wind days before are all forgotten and the discards remove all the luck or chance from the result. It’s been a fantastic event and the competition has been tough. The event is getting bigger and more international and I look forward to defending my title next year. Meantime I’m now off to Saipan for the final event on the Tour – and I’ll be looking for the same result there.” The ladies division had been looking one-dimensional until today with Rachel Ng not just beating the women, but also many of the men. But today, in the higher winds, Japan’s Ayako Suzuki saw a return to form that pushed Ng back into second in the ladies. Suzuki finished an incredible 6th overall, while Ng finished in 16th overall. In other divisions Leo Leow from Malaysia won the Masters (over 40) while Tsuneoka Masahiro from Japan won the Grand Masters (over 55). The Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour, presented by Foster’s, now heads to the Pacific Island paradise of Saipan for the fifth and final event on the Tour, the Marianas Open. Radis takes with him a commanding lead into the last event and it will be hard for Korea’s Yoon Sung Soo to close the gap. The Mana Mana Amslam is a prestigious event in it’s own right and it fits into the larger Adecco Asian Windsurfing Tour that groups together the premier windsurfing events in the region. 1) The Penghu Pro-am, Penghu, Taiwan (November 2003) 2) The Boracay International Funboard Cup, Philippines (January 2004) 3) Monsoon Madness, Kuantan, Malaysia (January 2004) 4) The Mana Mana Amslam, Bintan, Indonesia (February 2004) 5) The Marianas Open, Saipan (February 2004) Through the season competitors at each event earn points towards the overall Adecco AWT Championship and at the end of the season in Saipan a new Asian Champion is crowned. The Mana Mana Amslam (and all the events on the Adecco AWT) is being filmed for international television and in all, the event will reach an audience of over 150 million households around the globe. The World will be watching as the 10th Mana Mana Amslam sets sail.

2004-01-24T12:03:00.000+08:00

The Sacred Ride I rode alone on Tuesday morning. It rained so hard the whole of last night that the tarmac is tame and the air cleansed. The air felt so clean as though God put the atmosphere through an air purifier. Riding through clean air cleanses the system and purifies my mind. It felt strange to ride alone, especially so when I’ve been riding with the boys, often with much commotion, voices and panting. Fleeting thoughts of ‘why am I doing this so early in the morning?’ quickly dissipated as the peace of the dawn flooded my flustered mind. Soaking in the dew, my mind cleared itself of any ‘unpleasantry’. I thought of my life as of today, somehow all laid out before me, like the long coastal road ahead…I don’t know why I got into the reflective mode, perhaps that’s what peace and quiet does to me, it gets me connected with my spirit and I feel alive from the inside-out. That’s why I called today’s ride The Sacred Ride. It’s for me to cherish and for my God to share the moment with. I did not see my life laid out on Coastal Road in neat chapters. It came in a flash of sorts with a bang of emotions. How quickly time flew by and how far I’ve come, what have I done with my life and where am I heading? I couldn’t figure out what I felt more: fear or excitement? What does the future hold for me? In the strangest juxtaposition of flustered emotions and faith, I decided that the latter should stand, for sheer optimism. Yet, as the years go by, I feel confident, about life, myself, my capability and future. I know what to do, how to do it, and what I want! I know how to live through life, the way I want to. It’s not that bad, there’s something about growing, living through yet another birthday. There’s nothing like knowing God will be there for me in the future, after all, He’s Alpha and Omega. It makes better reason to enjoy what I am doing now, the rides, the sports, the friends and everything that God has given me in this life, and much more. I love life, but not more than Jesus! He is my everything.

2003-12-09T16:12:00.000+08:00

Waterworld Magazine Nov '03 - Windsurfing Windsurfing is not a sport! It is opium, obsession and enslavement to wind and speed. A healthy addiction that marries the soul and ocean to a life sentence, a windsurfer experiences ultimate freedom. An antithesis maybe, but there is something about dancing on the ocean, skipping over waves and heading into the twilight. Some say it’s magic, others say it’s stress-relieving. Yet others claim it builds up muscles. Windsurfing is all of these and much more. It is what you want it to be, what you want to be, and allows you to be what you want to become. It is about being oneself. Many new and radical sports offer adrenalin of all sorts, thrills and spills and fellowship with nature. Windsurfing represents the past, present and future in every way. It was said to be invented in 1968 by Jim Drake (a sailor) and Hoyle Schweitzer (a surfer). They received the very first patent for a sailboard which they named ‘Windsurfer’. Today, windsurfing is a multi-million dollar industry and is featured in the Olympics, Asian Games, Southeast Asian Games and other major continental competition. Windsurfing in Singapore Most of the action takes place in the seafront off the East Coast park, and windsurfers can be found at PA East Coast Sea Sports Club and Pasta Fresca Sea Sports Centre. PA ECSSC boasts of the biggest windsurfing club facility in Singapore, hosting the largest windsurfing membership as well. Organizing races do not come cheap, requiring boats, manpower, tons of logistics, skilled windsurfers and yes, wind. Throw in prizes to enthrall people to race, the cost begins at $10,000 for a simple local race. Several windsurfers are fortunate to be ‘team riders’ for some of the equipment brands, raising the commercial value of gear and publicity competition. Windsurfing is about variety, flexibility and universal. Disciplines include the Formula, slalom, wave, freestyle, Olympic, raceboard, Super X to name a few. Much depends on the local wind and water conditions that determine the type of windsurfing one engages in. In Singapore, local windsurfers do Formula, shortboard, Mistral One Design Olympic class and freestyle. Our waves rarely go higher than a ripple, hence windsurfers are typically bound by the largely-tame conditions. Travelling is a must for the wind/wave-starved windsurfers. Some make annual pilgrimages to popular windy havens like Maui, Bintan, San Francisco, Vietnam, secluded parts of Malaysia such as Jason’s Bay, Kuantan, Penghu island in Taiwan and even Boracay island in Philippines. Women in windsurfing – winners or widows? Too tough, too hot, too dangerous, too scary and too expensive…these are the reasons ladies often use to explain why they should not windsurf and why they should engage in more friendly sports like aerobics, jogging, badminton and tennis. Their reasons are valid as windsurfing in its purity is indeed tough, dangerous, scary, expensive and yes, you come back with a glowing tan. In my full-time windsurfing days and racing experience almost over 10 years, the hardcore women windsurfers are usually winners, not widows. Women windsurfers who are winners in major competitions, such as Olympics, Professional Windsurfing circuit, Asian tour, US/UK tours and Formula circuit are rarely widows. Women windsurfers – read ‘hardcore’, are a rare breed, exclusive only to the hardcore male brood who spend all their time in the water, and the rest of the time also in the water. They understand freedom, fanaticism, adrenalin, athleticism, strength, creativity and technology. They sometimes have no time for shopping and their nails are frequently chipped from tinkling with rough equipment and terrains. Their skin is deeply tanned, they own calluses on their palms and have moisturizers, sun-block lotions and DIY masks as constant companions. Sexy bikini lines decorate their backs and they have more board shorts than evening dresses. Women windsurfers are a capable lot, gutsy, brave and independent beyond the average marking. We know how to enjoy life, race, travel, pursue our dreams and win! Women windsurfers do not survive non-windsurfing partners, as it bears too much on their egos and esteems. They’d rather be windsurfing widows and continue in their search…for wind and waves. More often than not, the male to female ratio can be almost 20:1, leaving the ‘widows’ up for grabs, first-come-first-served basis. As windsurfing is a finesse and tactical sport, few women windsurfers are too-muscular nor tempted to take performance-enhancement drugs. The hardcore women are drawn to the lifestyle, the adrenalin, the dream and the utopia. Same reason the men are drawn to them…few widows remain. Winners galore, on and off the water. Sponsorship is hard to come by…for men and more so for women. With my SEA Games Silver medal success and later on, Asian Windsurfing Tour Ladies Champion titles, Local Overall 2nd Ranking and others, I became the team rider for The Windsurfing Shop, Timex, Oakley, Cobian & Dakine. There are hardly more than 5 ladies who race regularly in Singapore, not least to say that it is common for women windsurfers to find sponsors, as there are just too few around. More often than not, they windsurf recreationally, cruising on the sea, enjoying the sun. Ask them to race and they will say ‘too tough, too difficult, I’m not good enough’. As a result of the few women racers, we race with the men in Open categories, same starts and same course. Usually, I am the only woman windsurfer in the Open fleet. There is just not enough women to form a fleet. Thank God for the strong foundation in my earlier days, I could earn top 3 positions in most, if not all the races, giving me a 2nd position ranking in the Formula Open class for this year. The rest are men. And no, I am not a windsurfing widow…I’ll be marrying a windsurfer 2 months from now. The Road Less Travelled In my full-time windsurfing days a couple of years ago, I lived a dream of windsurfing everyday, travelling and racing. Then it was the 2001 SEA Games and windsurfing has been a regular feature in major games (Olympics, Asian Games and SEA Games). Short of training in Hawaii, we travelled to the most unlikely places to windsurf and race, such as China. I had also raced in Pakistan, Japan, Hong Kong, Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippines. Certainly not the most ‘commercial’ of windsurfing havens one would read in windsurfing magazines but we had great winds and big waves. Daily trainings under my China coach then include runnning at 6:30am, breakfast at 8am, Gym training or windsurfing training 9am-12pm. We’ll have lunch and another windsurfing session from 2-5pm. It was pure pain, hard work and numbness to adrenalin. Nonetheless, the dream one holds of perfecting the moves, achieving superhuman physical fitness and the satisfaction of winning races enslaves one to the cause. Strangely and almost bizarre, I was enjoying the mundane routine and looking forward each morning to push myself beyond my limits. Each day when tough training knocked me out, I would lie in bed blissfully fulfilled, aching from head to toe, happy that I had given of myself, done my very best and spent every ounce of my strength into a God-given calling. I relish the idea of pursuing a dream, aware that some go through life not having a dream. The scariest thing is not about leaving one’s dreams unfulfilled, but in not having one. I was training with a fierce Passion-the kind that causes some to excel beyond anyone else – dulls one’s sense of fatigue, pain, and the need for pleasure or even physical well-being. There is no greater honour, no greater pleasure than to represent your country.

2003-05-05T19:00:00.000+08:00

Last few days have been a flurry of emotions…not least feeling the extremes of emotions, great joy for a wedded couple-friend and immense sadness for a friend killed by a speeding powerboat on a lake. As if there is not enough going around the world to remind us to cherish our loved ones, to cherish what we have and thank God for all that is in this world, I have to be robbed of a friend to be struck with that slap. Vangie Palacios, is a dynamic and inspiring travel-journalist, and responsible for organizing most windsurfing and surfing competitions in the Philippines. She passed away on Friday, 3 May, 2003 on Lake Caliraya, Manila, when she was hit by a speedboat while swimming alone. She was killed instantly. The backbone of the Philippines’ windsurfing scene, much doubt remains now if our fellow Filippino windsurfers would be able to continue windsurfing without thinking of her. I can’t, for sure. Her mobile phone no. stays in my mobile phone, no, I’m not deleting her number. I wore black today, and if I have enough black clothes, I will do so for the week. It’s my way of saying ‘Vangie, I miss you and I wish your spirit peace’. It was a brief one week spent in fleeting moments of her company, during the Asian Windsurfing Tour in Boracay, Philippines. I remember her as dynamic, well-educated, spontaneous and warm. I read about her travel journals, and one of them, of her 30-day travel to U.S. with her husband, Art. They were celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. The camera, which she so fondly called Juliana, captured the finest moments of her life. Aptly so, they were vibrant, varied and vivacious, and very Vangie! She was a travel-journalist, photographer, windsurfer, surfer, fine friend and all the vocabulary in the world will fail to describe her. It all seemed so surreal. I was just emailing her 4 days ago, when she informed me about an almost-sponsored windsurfing race in Jeju, Korea. She told me she was taking a weekend break, to go windsurfing at Caliraya Lake. She was supposed to reply me about certain details, and wrote off in her last email, that she'll be back! Well, she didn't keep to that promise. Many will mourn for a loss of a dear friend, many others will mourn for the loss of an inspiration which we can so easily overlook. Rest In Peace, Vangie! God bless your family.

2002-10-06T22:14:00.000+08:00

5/10/2002 BUSAN ASIAN GAMES: RACES 1-3 Races hv been underway here in Busan & race 3 has just been completed today. Yesterday wind was good, from 15-20+ kts (gust) & there were some surprises. I dunno where to start reporting the results. To begin with, Andrew has been very consistent in all 3 races, coming in 6th, aha...he beat Taipei old man (7th) to retain his 6th psn. In his class, Mistral lightweight, psns change in every race. Today, 0 kt in morn & we waited several hrs b4 it blew ard 8-12 kts in super gloomy weather. CHN 1ST, HKG 2ND, KOR 3RD, JPN4TH, THA 5TH, SIN 6TH. Mistral Heavyweight: INA 1ST, CHN 2ND, JPN 3RD, HKG 4TH, THA 5TH. Yesterday, results were different. We saw the CHN lady Yin Jian doing badly, being 5th overall after 2 races. Dunno what happened to her, whilst Tha gal was 3rd. HKG San san won both races, Masako sits 2nd. Meng, Cho doesn't look like he's gonna win, with mostly 4th & 5th places. HKG ho chi ho is fighting hard with CHN Zhou Yuanguo & finally today, Gao Chuanwei in Raceboard LW! , came in 1st after patching his board till 9 p.m. last night. Everybody raced in epoxy-patched raceboards. Received bad feedback for its fragility in such rough conditions. I had smuggled myself into the Press boat these 2 days, after disguising myself as a Photographer & Journalist. The boat brought us right next to the pin end buoy of the start line. I'll send out some good photos when they r ready.

2002-10-06T22:13:00.000+08:00

10/2/2002 WEDNESDAY TYPHOON in Osaka & Long-waiting game! More shopping, there were nothing much coz there were only sweaters & more sweaters. really, it wasn't that cold. and i'm frustrated from always having to put up with stuffy-non-air-conditioned buses coz they think it's cold out there. gosh, i'd rather be cold than hot. that reminds me of the 40min bus ride to the airport this morning. i didn't sleep well coz i was too excited abt today. aha...firstly, I walked 15 min thru' underpasses, streets & lots and lots of staircases to the bus-stop. The airport bus 68 came, i was greeted by this grouchy old man who grunts & scolds. i got thru' the paying-bus-fare part, then chose a seat 3 rows behind him. realising the air-con wasnt on, i asked him to switch it on. oh there started the ranting and raving...he's probably scolding me in his native korean vulgar language. he switched it on and after half a min, switched it off again. Oh ok, so this means 'switching on the air-con'. I stopped requesting for the air-con obviously. i continued the near-fainting journey, half in fear if indeed, this bus goes to Gimpo airport. You know, u feel more uncertain when you have a very un-assuring driver. I really almost fainted in the stuffy bus, feeling really hungry and still in a sleepy stupor, I struggled to stay perky. Well, I did reach the Gimpo Airport, Praise God! I quickly checked in and on my way to STARBUCKS, bumped into 3 girls who were screaming & struggling with each other for some reason. Finally, the police was called in to maintain sanity at the Departure Lounge. Then I joyfully ordered a Grande Cappucino with lots of Choc & some cinnamon in it. Nothing beats a nice big cuppa in the morning with the newspapers & a sandwich. It was time to check in and I took the Airport Limousine bus to the Domestic Departure Hall. I found my seat beside this ang-moh guy who looked like he was busy doing homework. aha...I read more newspapers & soon, we reached Busan Domestic airport in an hr. It's the Airport Limousine bus again to the Intl airport. There i had my best surprise of the day. Yasuko's flight is to be delayed for 4 hrs! Praise the Lord! It's a cruel, long & starving waiting game. I cant leave because I do not know which hotel she has booked. Anyway, I am really looking forward to meeting the windsurfers and sailors, incl the officials, coaches & jury from the rest of the world. It'll be an awesome gathering.

2002-10-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

30/9/2002 CRAPPY CAPPUCINO Greetings from Seoul! The first thing that happened to me was to get conned of a cuppa lousy cappucino. this is my second time & i hv not learned my lesson!! darn! Koreans make lousy coffee, period! For the same price, i could have lingered happily in Starbucks, Coffee Beans or Seattle's. Anyway, i attempted the Jungang Flea Market after my Dunkin Donuts breakfast in the subway...it's not a Flea market, as u would think, it's really a wet market, Korean-style. And I saw, *gasp*, dogs in cages, whining & next to the bunch of caged dogs, as if to remind them of their impending doom, were displays of frozen dog legs, RAW! How poignant! I almost dropped my camera...the scene seizes me like hyperventilation as i struggled to relate DOGS to Makan! I tried to take pictures but the owner waved me off, i pointed to the dogs & the man continued to disallow pictures. I didn't persist, in case i had to keep the dogs company in the cage. But i took one photo of the dogs in the opposite ! stall. I walked around more, but certainly, lunch was not on my mind. i went back to Downtown seoul when the raw smell got into me. i'm impressed at the rate of improvemt, there r street concerts here everynight. their arts & ways of expression for youths r amazing. juz last night, i stood frozen to the ground watching bunches of teens dancing on the permanent stage. it was awesome as it's not juz swaying but some of the boys were breakdancing & flipping & somersaulting perfectly to the rhythm. I do understand how local sports, arts, dance & theatre r really not happening. I visited the local bookstore today...and there were books of the individual footballers. Not to say that their ads adorn the streets, mags, everything! Then i went to Korean Air to confirm my air tix & to mark that bus-stop which the airport express bus would move from on my map. Till I fly to Busan to check out the Asian Games, i'm juz hanging around, watching lots of tv. Theyhad the Opening ceremony last night & as usual, i only saw the Koreans coz that's all they showed. The only reason y i'll come back kor is the snow skiing. YUP!!!

2002-10-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

29/9/2002 So Seoul only... I did some more touristy things these 2 days & boy, it's a lot a lot of walking...practically hours. Yesterday, I took the subway (basically, i take the subway to EVERYWHERE coz it's sooo cheap! tho' not the easiest to figure out but a hundred times easier than Tokyo's) to Gyeungbokkung Palace & Independence Gate. The palace was not impressive, looked rather fake as it was purposely built as a university project & it's nothing compared to the Vietnamese & Chinese palaces which were really really awesome. I digressed to the Korean Folk Museum...and guess who was up in Korea's history? Yes, the Korean World Cup & the Kor football team! It was quite an awesome sight. A bunch of boys kicking balls in the historical annals of the country. It speaks a lot abt what the country thinks abt sport amongst its priorities. Then I took the subway to the Sodaemun History Prison Hall. I think the Korean War is either not as horrendous as the other wars or that the museum architects are not up to it. aha. It was ok lah, ended up taking photos of myself using the timer. Hope they turn out. Late afternoon, I took the subway to the reputed shopping belt called Itaewon! Well, there're too many tourists there, too many blacks, ang-mohs and ang-moh fast-food. Then there are consistent bunches of Harley-bikes vrrooming up the 'happening' street so often I don't find them unique anymore. My hunger resisted & I ended up at Steff's Hotdog for dinner. And I bought 4 more World Cup t-shirts in addition to the 2 I already bought. Exhausting the 2 streets, I returned back to my motel in the big pouring cold cruel rain!!! The raindrops here seem much bigger than those back home, and at least 10 deg colder! It was Sat night, so there were nice movies to watch on tv. there was this show starring Eddie Murphy, pretty funny...and those asian games highlights here & there often. But in Korea, u juz tend to think Kor is winning in every sport & in every competition coz that's all they show. I've bought the Korea Herald sometimes but still, Kor wins everything. aha. This morning I woke up really excited because I was going to reward myself with a hot Cuppa Cappucino & choc muffin at Coffee Beans. Then I'll head for the biggest church i.e. Yoida Full Gospel Church, in the world, right here in Seoul. It's headed by Rev David Cho Yonggi. Hmmm, it's really big!! Everything but the seats are big. The cross must have been 50 ft high....and I understood only 'Hallelujah' & 'Amen' in the entire worship & sermon. Yup, it was in traditional korean. I spent my time taking photos of the congregation, the church building & occasionlly flipping thru' my Korean Phrasebook. No chance to explore other parts of the building as the human throng is simply too powerful. There were tons of traffic police directing the human & traffic, obviously i forgot to mention the traffic jam as i was reaching there b4 the service. I proceeded with my itinery which was to head for the Han-Gang river cruise which was supposed to take me to this windsurfing area. I had an hr plus to kill b4 the ferry sets off. Ate lunch out of a Snack Car (a mini-bus) and waited...watched the children feed the pigeons & chasing them... The ferry was kinda of a disappointment. There was this rowdy grp of people who were taking photos during the entire trip & i was forced to abdicate my seat to somewhere photo-taking-free. There was no wind...so the windsurfing was quite a sad scene. Then i walked an hour to the Chamsil subway...half an hr later, back in Myongdong. Next 2 days, I planned it to be relaxing...finish last-min shopping, check out the Hwang-hak Flea Market & come back. Tues, I'll just hang out at my shopping area, shop somemore & pack up. Wed early morn, I'll hv to take the 10am domestic flight to meet Yasuko. I really dunno what to eat for dinner...aha. and it's real crowded outside.

2002-10-06T22:04:00.000+08:00

27/9/2002 SEOUL SOUL! Greetings from Seoul. The Asian Association for Sportt Management Congress was a big surprise! right fm beginning, every day was a surprise. u know nobody picked us up from the airport? ya, we waited 2 hrs & finally, called up the hotel, nobody made a reservation for us & we ended up taking an hr public bus to the Olympic Parktel hotel. WELCOME TO SEOUL! of coz, more surprises to come. on second day, they packed us off to Busan for this Scientific Congress which we didn't know we were attending. aha. then they left us there to return to Seoul on our own. Addy didn't want to make himself more confused and so, remained in Busan. I found my way to the Railway station with a Jap friend & took too-too-train for 4-half hrs back to Seoul. My cheapskate motel is ok lah..juz lock everything tight lor. but i suppose anyone can give a slight kick & the door will fall. i slept well in the motel after all & felt used to it aft one night. aha. it's ok coz location's best!! Yes, now i found out many nice places to go...i've planned my itinery & am very happy! i'm juz opp to this really happening shopping area which i only found out tis aftn. i ventured there for lunch & didnt expect it to be so happening as it looked boring fm the street. aha. was i wrong. anyway, last night aft i got outta internet shop, i cont shoppin in that Namdaemon street market. i was trying to buy a good & cheap leather jacket. in my 2nd shop, this guy was really nice & striked up conversation. it was the same one that really fit me & really good leather (cannot burn when u light a fire on it & very smooth). in the first shop, it cost s$325. in tis second shop, i asked for leather that cost ard s$100 (actually not that possible coz it's ex right). dun hv...so i walked out. then that guy called me back & offered me s$125 for that same long black italian leather jack. i tried it again & ok, bot it. i'm not leather expert lah but it's the best price i came across, even in china or aus, usu at least s$200. juz now i walked into giordano & their leather jac is also going for s$300+. i think i got a good deal lah. also bot a nice brown denim 'jeans' for s$57. the cutting is good on me, coz all my life i can never buy a pair of 'jeans' or pants that look nice on me, aha. so i bot it. looks fantastic wif the leather. anyway, aft my kfc lunch (yes, sick of kor food!) at the shopping area opp my motel, i followed my itinery plan i.e. Namsan National park & Seoul Tower & Namsan traditional korean village. it was juz to the right of my motel. it required a steep one-hr plus walk up to the peak. despite the 27deg ok weather, i was perspiring lor...and it wasn't breathtaking! aha, i asked this man to take photo for me. then i sat there to rest my legs while looking upon the bunches of 5-yr-olds running & screaming. it seems that the kids hv lots of excursions, coz i see them everywhere i go. but they r so cute. then i bot the tix to bring me up to Seoul Tower. well, i was disappointed the elevator only brought me up to one-third of the tower, which my Timex watch measured only 235m altitude. the peak is supposed to be 456m in altitude. sigh. 'up there', it wasnt fantastic too. aha. Tokyo Tower, i remembered, is 100x more breathtaking. well, i should hv been there at night. but then again, no way am i gonna climb 1 hr plus up the steep stairs in pitch darkness. i forgot there's a cablecar to bring us to the tower directly. but...i trust the car, not the cable. i'd rather walk. then i went to the tourist info counter, chatted a while & got them to help me change my Busan flight. done. went on to the Namsan Traditional Korean village which was 45 min walk away. i found it after a little bit of getting-lost here & there. reached there in 1 hr. well, it really wasn't fantastic. some koreans were filming there & the actor, who was decked in a beard & traditional costume, pointed to my oa! kley & gave his thumbs-up. aha. definitely, in this hot weather! aha. Tonight i'll check out in entirety this shopping area opp my motel. it's quite happening. Bought a pair of Polo socks for s$1+ coz last night i was desperately trying to dry my only pair of socks with the aircon. lesson learned. tomorrow i'll check out the ChangYonggung Palace up North fm my motel. There's supposed to be a series of shows there the whole day, incl those Changing-Guards thingy. aha. Then if i hv time in the day, will travel South to the War Memorial Museum. In evening, go to the famous shopping belt called Itae-Won. Sunday will be church-day. aha...the World's biggest church is here in Seoul and that's Yoida Full Gospel Church at Yoida. After service, I'll take a boat cruise (called the Hangang River Cruise, an hr) from Yoida to Ttuksom where there's supposed to be a Windsurfing area. I hope to windsurf a couple of hrs there. Monday will be more historical & educational stuff again...check out the Sodaemun Prison, Independence Park etc. Comparing Japan with Korea, i like japan many times more. the culture is richer & more happening. the people are more bold, entrepreunerial & charismatic. ya, i'll finally meet yasuko, my jap friend, at busan airport after a series of non-communication. i wont get a phone here after all. think there's no need. internet shops r everywhere. Finally, at the Korean Traditional Village phone booth, i managed to get my korean windsurfer friend on his handphone. i learnt from the girl at the Tourist Info booth that i need to add a 0 in front of all mobile no. cheh...no wonder. And i called my bf ker Wan & he was Shanghai airport, squeezing his way to check-in half an hr b4 the plane was flying off. ha, that's the typical China-adventure there...here's not as bad. I told him to spit to claim his territory & be more aggressive in jumping queue. hopefully he's in the plane now. aha.

2002-06-28T17:50:00.000+08:00

Golly...it's been almost 4 months since i updated the good ol' Blogger. So much has changed, as always. Thank God for changes as they represent new-ness, virility, birth and challenge. It would have been a self-punishment if I try to list the changes in these 4 mths or to explain what had trespassed. The best would be to say what's on my heart right here, right now. Out of the overflowing of the heart the mouth speaketh and the fingers typeth...aha! The major blessing would have to be my wonderful partner, the only man in my life (oops! 2 actually...the other Most important man being Jesus aha)...no doubt we are thriving in the knowledge of love, life and living. It can be tough with 2 very different people put together but the plus-es are awesome. It's much more than just bringing the very best out of each other, we can even bring out beautiful qualities that we never ever knew existed in ourselves. Loving is not always easy and it can be the most frustrating thing when things just go by Murphy's Law. The rewards are greater than the trying times. My man has proposed over the the Vesak long wkends in nearby Bintan. I was surprised with a gorgeous solitaire diamond ring. Wow, there goes his budget for a full set of sail and board. Poor thing! aha...Moving on, we are planning for a nice church wedding and dinner to be held at the end of '03. I have all sorts of crazy ideas for that ideal wedding. Better not start dreaming again... The next good thing must be wrt windsurfing. What many would think to be stupid to drop out of the Asian Games, I would say to them 'you know nuthin about what I was going through so shut up!'. I tire of explaining myself out of this image of 'giving up', 'self-exaltation' or 'making u-turn'. It was none of that. It doesn't matter to me what people think because I have nothing to prove and no one to impress. Things are certainly getting better...thanks to The Windsurfing Shop, I received my first set of Formula equipment: Gaastra Nitro 3 9.0metre, AHD Formula Diamond 170 litres. Life has never been the same again. We've had 3 races over the last weekends. We didn't have the best fun and the strongest wind but it was great just racing. I look forward to 2 more races in the next 2 months. They are Singapore Windsurfing C'ship (20-21 July) & Pesta Sukan Windsurfing C'ship (August). I'm sooooo happy...I just bought a KONA U.S. Mountain bike & love biking during my lunch-time. I'm following a triathlon training program i.e. swimming, biking & running. When it's simply too hot to run, I'll pick up the bike & go. Meanwhile, Ker Wan & I have been shopping for a new bed. Yes yes, planning for wedding but I confess the impetus to plan isn't here yet. It's probably scheduled for end next year. Stay tuned to our invites.

2002-03-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

4 March 2002 Monday WOW!!!!! Work work work... Today was my virgin day at work, finally!!! It's a whole new package of new beginnings, as my friend-visitor had pointed out, beginning with brand new furniture and brand new colleagues and brand new work awaiting me. As of all 'Day 1s', I was (not) busy dusting my new furniture, gently hounding the clerk for stationeries, hounding IT dept for quicker delivery of my computer, making quick mental lists of what-to-bring-to-office-next-day (e.g. tissue box, Pooh bears, CDs, AWT poster, photos?, vitamins, pen holders, more stationeries, cereal, and others), making frequent socialisation visits to my new colleagues' workstations, and making more mental lists of what-to-brings...:) My boss is a nice gentle giant...and we call him Paul. Far from being the celibate apostle Paul in the Bible, this man is a typical leader, albeit spiritual and amazingly open-minded. So much so that I sometimes forget to give him the due respect, in the sense of over-friendliness and casual-ness. You always feel like giving him a pal-y pat on the shoulder except that he's too tall for your reach. Nice man...:) I like my little corner in the big office, not too far from the toilet, pantry and exit, yet not too near for passers-by' scrutiny. I have enough work space to focus on my career and enough space to be spaced-out when I'm mentally fatigued. Basically, everyone trusts everyone to do their work, and work-outs too. What's so wonderful about working here is the proximity to the sports facilities...I envision taking a short jog to the gym, jump-start those dormant office muscles, jog back to my office, quick thorough shower and back to slogging. I'm excited!!!!! Yippee!! Or, take a brisk walk to the swimming pool across the road, swim 2km, shower, walk back...another wonderful work-out. I'm just plain excited about the new life, a new routine, a new focus...I look forward to the challenges that will come on me and I can't wait to pounce on those new projects like a hungry wolf. Lunch-time work-outs never fail to rejuvenate my energy and re-focus my mind. I'll be back for more...stay tuned!!

2002-02-26T22:12:00.000+08:00

26 FEB 2002 Tuesday WEEK OF BLESSED BEGINNINGS This week began with a Bang! The healing virtue of Jesus zapped me on the Sunday service and healed me of a one-mth plus nagging pain in the left side of my back. Praise God!! It was a morning of back healing and the stiffness I usually felt was immediately gone. I could now bend backwards, which I could usually not do before. Thereafter, I knew that this week will be a week of blessings and miracles. The next miracle was manifested juz the very next day. I was down for a 3rd round of interview at my potential work place...the usual routines went on...and after leaving, felt the victory was far. Then I received a call from my boss-to-be to say I got the job. Praise God! Put your trust in God and see if His blessings will not overflow and flood your life. I think it's quite unbelievable to land a job in exactly 1 mth of hunting. I wasn't even hunting really hard...sent out not many resumes. Not that I was lazy, but I was expecting something on my way...and juz rested in His grace, and brainstorming about my 'lil business venture'. I'm still not sure if I should really import those silk handbags and if I will have time to sell them to make a profit. My spirit says 'amen' and my work schedule says 'maybe not'...I'll pray about it and make a decision.

2002-02-21T22:24:00.000+08:00

21 Feb 2002, Thursday 5 MONTHS ARCHIVE It's been nearly 5 mths since I last filled in my e-journal. It felt like 5 weeks. The more I have to write, the less I wrote. Such is the irony that I am forcing myself to make a check, face myself and archive the past. Yes, archive the past so that I can move on...Maybe I was hesitant to archive the past, harbouring a secret hope to revive dreams unfulfilled, or that the skeletons in the closet are haunting me anew. Finding a topic to begin with is a tough task, just as I do not know what is the cause and what the result is. Sometimes we do not know what we really want, to reach there only to find out we want something else. Or, we stumble upon something we never dreamed we'd do and feel the Oomph we would associate with a dream fulfilled. I conclude that life and all its complexities are made more complex when we attach technical terms to it. They are really not always what it seems to be. We reach a goal only to feel empty and aimless, or contend with 'at least I've been there and done it' or 'Just do it'. We move on to find a new goal and trudge on the journey, neverending journey with an insatiable appetite. Take an interview I attended today at a Marketing firm for example, the ad says 'Marketing Executive' and I went ahead with the interview with blistering results. We were told there'll be series of shortlisting and we'll be informed if we are shortlisted by next Tuesday. Not more than 10 minutes had gone by when I received a call inviting me to a second interview tomorrow. I was ecstatic! Praise the Lord! I placed a ring to my sister who was more certain than certain that this job is no more than a Salesgirl post. The signs were verifying themselves to me indeed. I felt guilty of doing my best in that interview. I had made sure to present the most positive body language that employers look for, spoke well, charming smiles, projecting a professional, confident and pretty image. I went an extra mile to present the Manager with my full resume without being asked. I had assumed what was not to be my career goal to be mine i.e. Salesgirl. This is a petty example. Professional terms are not what they seem to be and when we discover the truth, we become guilt-ridden and sorry. Terms are superficial and superfluous. They restrict us with its definition and prevents us from stepping beyond its boundary. I choose to admit my ignorance than to pretend knowledgeability. Back to the archives of the last 5 mths of my life...I'm happy, and relieved to be able to keep it archived forever. It has been blessed with blissful joys and marred with malicious evils. Since gracing the podium of victory during the SEA Games, I also stepped into the chasm of being-backstabbed and accused. Thank God I survived the valley of shadow of death. I've since reached the end of my wits with regards to my windsurfing career. My coach had quit in a huff just weeks after the 2001 SEA Games, allegedly unhappy over his salary and treatment from the Fed. We all knew how he felt and knew how he was treated all those time...but each time, we would get stepped over with more professional reasons which the authorities and journalists would agree with, or pretend to agree. The vacuum could never be filled and for these 4 plus months, I was training every single day, diligently, alone in the huge seas. Each time, I was greeted with a 'we are doing our best' and 'it's not easy to find a coach'. When I get called up to lone meetings, I was lashed at, verbally. I was accused of instigating journalists to popularise windsurfing and to accuse them of not doing enough. I was accused of creating unrest among the sailors and having a personal agenda. I could not defend myself, given the fierce anger ripping me apart, I could only say 'I don't know why you are doing this to me?' and fight to contain tears that threaten to emerge from under my eyes. Malicious gossips were even spread that I did not resign from my previous company to train full-time. That I was probably sacked and turned to the solace of sports. Well-meaning journalists have called me to advise me to opt out as the Fed thinks negative of me. I cannot begin to explain what I did not do...I was simply training diligently daily and gently probing about training plans and keeping tab on development. I was not given quantifiable selection criteria and my selection was based on 'evaluation' by dinghy people who claimed to understand windsurfing. 4 mths had passed, and the coach's visa was still pending. Training stints could not be confirmed. Training with Asian countries who are also training for the Asian Games who don't speak our language, I wonder how effective it will be. Coincidentally, the Thai training trip was promised a couple of days after the national body was tipped off about the lack of training plans. I was told to pack up and fly off the next week, if possible, in a day's notice. I do not understand the urgency when I've waited for more than 4 mths, plus, Thailand is a place where we are welcome to go ANYTIME of the year. They seemed to have picked up on the idea only now. I was to have missed Chinese New Year and a holiday trip unless I buy my own ticket back. Just when I was named on the Training Squad did I withdraw from the selections formally. Journalists followed up on their own stories about me and what I set out to do from the beginning. I must not be giving up, it seems. I knew in my heart that the best they've done, or so they claimed, is not good enough. The double standards are more than glaring and even the dumbest person can deduce the facts. I was told I need not have a coach in order to train for Asian Games. Then why are there coaches for every dinghy class? It would have been a disgrace to represent my country with sub-standard preparation. It would have been an insult to the Games itself. My goal was to race with a medal-winning chance, not to just have fun in the Opening Ceremony and to boast I've been there before. I have better things to do, honestly. If I'm not ready, I will not run the race. Better to admit my weakness than to boast of assumed capability. In any case, I knew I wouldn't be selected, I'll be dropped conveniently along the way, according to their 'plan of unpreparedness' for me. Thanks but no thanks. That decision had bugged me...especially after I've read how the journalists interpreted that and developed their stories. On my way back from Vietnam holiday, I was suddenly gripped by fear of facing reality once more. A fear of having to defend myself for something I've not done; for having to be public with a personal struggle/issue. One has to tell the story differently when telling it to the public. It's just not the same. Each of us have a public responsibility...to always appear to be that hope in the midst of hopelessness; the strength in a mire of fear and the ray of light in pitch darkness. There's nothing to write about giving up, re-focusing, change of priorities...hence, I was forced to admit that I'm not giving up racing YET. Hence, the clear assumption would be that I will still race in the next SEA Games and beyond. I have to say yes...don't we all have this civic duty to give hope to our fellow citizens? I hope to spend some time with myself...probably a month of rugged backpacking in the northern hills of Thailand. In my seclusion, I will write more chapters for the BLOGGER. Ciao!!

2001-09-13T12:23:00.000+08:00

13 September, SEA Games The race starts on Monday and will end on Saturday, latest Sunday (spare day). My event sees only 3 competitors, Thailand, Indonesia & Singapore. The fewer competitors mean that the tougher it is...it'll be more of a tactical race than anything. I was lying 1st after the 1st day but dropped to 2nd place by today. I sailed badly on the 2nd day but recovered enough to come back stronger on 3rd day. Thai sailor is ahead of me by 5 points, and I’m leading the 3rd girl by 3 points. It is stiff and almost impossible for me to catch up to win the gold unless I come in 1st in the next 4 races and Thai finishes 3rd or gets disqualified etc. Today is a reserve day. we have 2 more days of racing, 4 races left. So far, the points and our positions are as follows: Thai: 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1 Singapore: 2, 1, 3, 3, 2, 2 Indonesia: 3, 3, 2, 2, 3, 3 Tactically, I need to secure a Silver first and if I do win the Thai, it’s a bonus. I still have to keep a look-out for INA. The lesser points win…If we run 8 races and above, we are allowed to discard 2 races. On the first day, I had blazing form as I was thoroughly in peace and in rest. I surprised everyone when I was 1st on score tally. Pressure came in and I crashed on the 2nd day, as everyone was expecting the gold medal from me since. I was not in rest then and was full of anxiety, and even came back with bad blisters on my hands. 3rd day, I went out praising the Lord and worshipping Him for His goodness etc…and sailed with the peace I had on 1st day. But I made some stupid mistakes which cost me one win. I could have won the 1st race. Seems like a miracle is needed if I should get the Gold. Thai would have to do really badly and I would have to sail really well. I don’t know how this is possible but my trust is in the Lord. Praise God for every result I had… I've been reading yr emails and praising God for the victory (in tongues etc) that He already acquired for me and is inside me. Yes, I'm conscious that it is not by my training or own strength that will get me the Gold medal. I shall remove every fear and concern that I may disappoint and have confidence in the Lord. They are indeed strong and Thai girl has juz returned from competing in the World Champs. She also went to the Olympics last year plus all the major events, while I didn’t and started full-time training only in Feb. They seem like impossible competitors to triumph in the natural, BUT i will go forth in the strength & confidence in the Lord. God is in covenant with me and He is not capable of failing me!!! My trainings can only bring me a short distance but His grace will get me the victory!! I will praise the Lord at all times...and find courage and grace in HIS sight.

2001-09-01T11:09:00.000+08:00

2001 KL SEA Games...20 August, 2001, from Bayu Beach Resort, Port Dickson, Malaysia Decided to go to hotel manager's apt to download my emails tonite, since it's our off day! yay!!! Had gone out to Seremban town this afternoon, with Naomi, Stanley Tan and 2 coaches. After we sent Stanley off at the train station, we proceeded back to Bayu resort, but only after some drinks across the road. Then Naomi & I went for a comfortable 43 min run nearing 8 km in one of the villages nearby called Desa Rusa. There is a local primary school and some nice long houses in them, mostly comprising of Malays & Indians. And it was dinner-time and now, typing emails. On today's papers, it was stated 19 days away from SEA Games...and boy, it hasn't begun to sunk it yet!! However, it has, almost subtly, when I discover that sailors are becoming generally quieter and more serious, though more fatigued. For me, I'm only getting slightly more worried, though i know I shouldn't, and juz rest/trust in God. I'm getting worried abt the diminishing and depleting wind conditions. This week has been a challenge, the wind ranging from 0-4 knots max, not to mention short gusts that come and go. Yesterday, we were pumping around Olympic-sized trapezoid courese in 0-1 kt winds, and strong current. I could hardly muster the physical strength to create momentum. I lost out to the boys by one whole round/sausage. Coach scolds me for lousy performance and the 'what-if-it's-race-day' comment, myself feeling super lousy for not feeling good & not being able to psyche myself up in this no wind condition. My mood drops with the wind strength. When pumping becomes the sole means of propulsion and board momentum, it takes the life out of u to juz make yr board move. It's ok in the Girls' fleet as everyone would be on almost equal grounds in terms of physical strength. Maybe it's my own frustration...I'm praying they won't start races in the SEA Games in this 0 gusting to 2 kts wind. It's no WIND-surfing...prob PUMP-surfing. I hope we'll be racing in 6-8 kts wind at least... I have learnt a great deal abt professional windsurfing from Coach during this trip. Firstly, equipment: He taught us how to love our equipment, set it up 'perfectly' and etc...every unnecessary knot would be done away with and every dirt is wiped away. I would sweep my hands over my board after each session to clean it of dirt, sand etc...every part of the equipment is perfect and tuned to the finest mm/cm. I now know how much a difference it makes, that extra cm or adjustment to the downhaul/outhaul/footstraps. How to personalise a sail and know how to tune a sail to sail optimumly. I would know if my outhaul had loosened by itself when I'm pumping or if my boom slipped by one cm. I'm learning...and feeling excited. Secondly and more...that'll be too much for me to write...:) We'll be returning to Singapore on 30 Aug, next Thurs to be precise. Collecting our blazers etc the next day, we would fly up in style on 2 Sept, prob moving into the Games Village. The ST journalists (Tse Chueen & 2 photographers) had came by last Thurs/Fri, juz to take pix of us eating dinner, doing laundry and training. They really bother, I thought!! But this is part of the stress that's beginning to seep in...the press, expectations, the results, whether we r peaking etc...and sometimes, the 'what-if-i-don't-make-the-cut' thoughts. I heard there was an article yesterday abt us...We train twice a day, 2-half-3 hrs in the morning and another of this in the aftn. We would leave our equipment on the beach, under the trees b4 we launch again after a short lunch of sandwiches (and instant noodles...the bread is simply not enuf...we say, ang moh no brain, give us so little). Plus, our head coach was worried we will put on weight when SEA G starts. Surely not for the windsurfers...finally, a little of my abs are showing. aha! I was telling the sailors that we ought to learn each other's sports so we can understand each other more. I know sailing so they should learn windsurfing too. Otherwise, we cannot meet each other's needs on simple things like food and rest. By the way, 2 days ago, I had carefully placed my equipment under a tree during our lunch break. An hr later, I found 8 coconuts nicely placed on my sail...I looked up to see a 10m tall coconut tree, and realised my wrong choice of tree. Thank God that there was no hole, only some coconut prints and scratches...I think it was a miracle!! The coconuts were the usual size and they dropped together with the leaves. It muz have been divine protection. Count my blessings...I was usually careful in choosing trees but that day, I was particularly tired and looking fwd to going back to my room, hence... I thank God for Naomi here...at least I have someone to talk to, to click with. I realised how that is a blessing after all. This trip is already a hundred times more comfortable than my China trips. Coz sometimes it gets really boring, with juz training the whole day, and I would juz hole up in my room at night, after dinner. Yes, I do appreciate the single-mindedness of training, as it was in China (much worse in China actually). Most nights I would juz snuggle up in my comforter, sit on my bed in nice cool air-con temps, read books, write notes, play music, watch VCDs...and reflect on my life, and training. When I've though thru' almost everything possible, sometimes I would go over to Naomi and chat (or vice versa, depending who gets bored first). Then we'll exchange notes abt sailing, windsurfing, sailors, coaches, God or juz plain gossip. aha!! Time actually flies past faster than I imagined. We are gossiping less now, and juz holing up in our rooms, kept company by our thoughts, prayers and reflections. I guess the reality of the race is getting nearer to me and I'm feeling it. I know better than to entertain it too much so I bought 4 more VCDs last night...classics like BEN Hur, Evita, Little Buddha & The Hurricane. Previously, I watched Swordfish, Kiss of the Dragon and Angel Eyes...Pirated vcds r making the cinema a dwindling business. It's raining now...Quite a rare phenomenon in PD...I hope it doesn't make the wind go away. It's definitely one of the coldest nights thus far. A great change from the blistering heat! Munching on Penang tao sar biscuits which Ker Wan bought for me. Great stuff, good & cheap. Was really glad he came by to visit me as well as to race. Certainly felt the support thru' the efforts and trouble which he took.The 4 hour driving each way, hotel expenses and bringing things up for me (instant noodles, milk, ST, etc). I'm so blessed...now I'm raring to go all the way for the last part of my training. All or nothing!! Meanwhile, I'll be coveting for your prayers...for a miracle in the GOLD medal and that I'll be in the right gust/shift at all the right times, and that I'll be supernaturally endowed with strength & wisdom. That it will be Jesus windsurfing thru' me and I will glorify Him. Living for this cause...

2001-07-16T17:36:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I wrote my journal...I'm speechless from the abundance of things brimming in my heart. The sailing contingent will be leaving for Port Dickson in 2 wks' time, more than one month in advance of the SEA Games. Once again, I'm feeling the anticipation of home-sickness. Packing my bags is an easy task now, having all my gear in travel packs constantly, and in generous supplies to last for a long time. We've had 3 races in the last few weeks, mainly the China Open, Raffles Marina and National's. Technically, my performance was best in the China Open and I was mentally razor-sharp. My lack of experience was glaring despite having some good showings. Pumping was vigorous and technically correct. Fitness was peak and mentally aggressive. The diarrhea I got from Beijing set me back in the subsequent 2 races, having to struggle in a weak body, headaches and more aches. Pumping was at an all-time low...:( Otherwise nursing lethargy and fatigue, there has been some press conferences and interviews...We also had our suits tailored and other preparations seen into. Meanwhile, I'm tuning into the Spirit more and more, being increasingly aware of my inadequacy and the largeness of the task. I need His grace and empowerment!!! Painfully aware of my humanity and limitations, and achingly hungry for the Gold, I am standing on Mercy ground. Will keep our preparations constantly updated at PD. :)

2001-06-17T20:45:00.000+08:00

17 June 2001 Sunday, LIAN HE ZAO BAO (Chinese newspapers) featured my picture beach-starting and mentioned about the SEA Games. We've also had the PA Windsurfing C'ships over the weekends and it was very successfully organized. Personally, it was a wake-up call to my unpreparedness for the upcoming SEA Games as well as a reality-check. This race was almost like a mini SEA Games where Thailand, Malaysia & Singapore sailors raced. I had lost to a 15 year-old Thai girl while our top male sailor lost to a 12 year-old Thai boy. It was a wake-up call to Singapore windsurfing. Despite having trained in 20 knots wind for the last 2 mths and lost in touch with light wind pumping were excuses not good enough for me. We were also blunt from racing, our last race being last held in March. I was absolutely far from being near my peak, or even where I was in March. I just am not pumping-fit right now and I know how much I need to do to catch up. We are 83 days away from SEA Games and I cannot begin to explain how engrossed I am in this endeavour. I literally think, sleep, eat, breathe SEA Games...I'm very excited and I hope I can have an underdog's chance at the Gold medal.

2001-06-03T14:10:00.000+08:00

31 May 2001, Thursday It was blowing up to 28 knots today!! Most of us were overpowered and I saw vertical figures on the water and they were not masts, but sailors uphauling. Aha!! I managed for about almost an hr until disaster fell. My sail was already flat, mast extension No. 6 and fully tight. Upwind was ok as I was trying hard to use my body weight to hold down the sail. I wasn’t powered up but I was moving. DW planning was another disaster as the power on the sail was tremendous. I could not hold it at all and kept getting hauled up into a catapult. It was literally ‘Bumps & Jumps’ the whole stretch. I guess I was one of the worst victims, having ripped my sail apart just below the boom in a Broadreach planning catapult. I fell hooked into the harness and as I pressed the boom down, the sudden pressure slit my sail left to right. It didn’t help that my 2 year-old sail was already crisp and torn in many places. Today was the day it had to go…I tried desperately to sail the long distance back to shore but sailing upwind to shore (off-shore wind) is no mean feat with a torn sail. The wind couldn’t catch any wind at all…finally I moved a little and started to wave my hand for assistance. Finally, the Zhejiang coach saw me, anchored a buoy and came over to help me. Express-derigging on the boat and we went off to rescue another Hainan girl in distress too. We then went back to shore. Coach was also back and he went out again to look for the boys. Both of them came back early, totally exhausted by the strong wind. I was not to think that I was gonna have holidays the next 2 days as Coach instructed me to use Andrew’s training sail while he will rig up his competition sail. 2 June 2001, Saturday I’ve heard that there has been storms in Singapore about once a week, a 20-knotter. We’ve had the Force 5s here too, about 5 times a week J…yesterday (1 June, Friday) we had 22-23 kts wind & today the 15-18 kts wind. Yesterday’s wind was ok…but I got too tired after 2 and a half hrs of training so I left for shore 20 mins earlier than the rest of them. Today e had no choice but to press on through the whole session because it is a centralized training (‘he lian’) with all the other provinces. Coach QH had specifically told us to persevere thru’ all the races. We had 4 races, a huge triangle-sausage course. We went out at 1:30 p.m. and came back at 5 p.m. Oh dear, all my strength spent!!! The waves were mast-high near the upwind mark. I didn’t sail well at all…I was ok only in the first race but punctured early. Sighz…the wind got stronger in the 3rd & 4th races, prob 18 to 20 kts. On the port tack, I was hooking on my toes to the foot-straps with all my might as the huge waves would always threaten to overturn your board and bear you down as you crash down. When going down a wave, I would put pressure on my feet, railing the board even more and close the gap so I can climb up every wave. The more you can carry out the actions over as many waves as you can will determine your board speed. Nearing the upwind mark, the waves were mast-high and always impossible to rail the board. In such cases, I will use my toes to press down the rail of the board to prevent flipping over. Loosen outhaul a little to gain speed to climb the waves. This is because when you are on the crest of the wave, there’s less wind and more wind when you are riding down the wave. I don’t want to lose any board speed at all. On the starboard tack, it’s disastrous as you are sailing at right angles to the waves. I got flipped over once and it’s totally painful to be wiped down by the huge waves. On the downwind legs, everyone is pumping in the 20 kts wind…where do they get so much bull-strength? QH said we probably won’t sail tomolo since it’s a Sunday but who knows…I don’t mind sailing since we have nothing to do. We will be packing up on Monday & then leave on Tuesday morning. Btw, we will definitely be bringing our equipment back to Singapore. Loads of stuff to carry again. I had a small adventure this evening. The boys & me went to eat Mutton & Beef steamboat. After a short but intense dinner with a live gas stove sitting on our table, we walked over to the internet shop but it was packed. Only Andrew had a PC but after waiting for half an hr and seeing the queue and feeling bored, I was the first to leave. I bought a pack of ‘gua zi’ (melon seeds) along the way and decided to take a 15-20 min stroll back. I would go to the BBQ stall to look for my fren. ¾-way to my hotel, a scooter passed me and it was that BBQ girl riding pillion. She shouted at me, stopped and she told me to hop on behind her. So I did, china-style, I was the 3rd passenger on the tiny scooter. Aha!! The guy riding the scooter sent us to the BBQ stall outside our ‘club’. I hung out there a while and business was pretty brisk, being a Saturday. As I dazed at the sea, she poked more chicken wings into sticks, with her bare hands. Ahem! I’ve never agreed to her kind offer of a treat even though she would always offer. Thank God!! They certainly don’t look clean to me…typical road-side stall hygiene is zilch! Aha! Then we got the wheels moving and shifted the stall to Mystify Island Hotel (beside ours). I don’t know why…maybe the tourists staying in the hotels would bring them more business. Then I got on the scooter to go ‘dou feng’ (sight-seeing) with them. They said they were going to this Dongzhou place…very fun. “Zhuo wen” (sit tight) & off we went…riding thru’ rocky roads etc…when we were halfway thru’ an empty patch of land, rather, sand, it started to drizzle. Oh dear!! Scooter woes…got rain no go..ahaha!! so we turned back and before we reached their stall, it was already raining. They had to ‘shou dang’ (close shop) and go home as a result of the rain. I went back to my hotel. So I’m sitting here watching TV, eating gua zi (melon seeds) and typing.

2001-05-29T20:34:00.000+08:00

29 May 2001, Monday Songs of Silence: In the day, I lose myself out there in the sea. In the night, I come to find myself back! In the night, you don¡¯t even know the sea is there. Darkness. And you even think it¡¯s so still that the sea is nothing more than a big patch of darkness. Till you walk nearer and listen more intently, you¡¯ll hear the waves crashing gently on the seashore. If you strain your eyes a little, you can even outline strips of light reflected off the surface from the moon. Listen even more intently and you discover a rhythm to the waves; look closer and you see a piercing light in the somber darkness. Can you hear the sea singing songs of silence? I do¡it¡¯s a song punctuated with crashing waves and howling winds. On other nights, the waves are gentle and the wind¡¯s a shy breeze. Tonight¡¯s song is silent as of other nights. Overcome by fatigue, speechless from my daily weariness and overwhelmed by routine, I sought to find my voice again. Putting aside the reasons that put me here and shrugging off the single-mindedness I was supposed to bear, I seek to listen to my heart, once more, like a child would. I strain to take note of every sound I can hear around me. I listen to the stall-owner¡¯s voice and what she says. I hear the motorbike¡¯s roaring engine. I hear the footsteps of some passers-by. I hear the rustling of leaves and a plastic bag taking off into the dark. I could even hear muffled voices in the distant, occasionally disturbed by shrieks of laughter. I struggle to remember it, lest I forget and lose the feeling. I attempt to remember the day¡¯s activities while savouring the hardship and pondering over the routine of life. After all, this will make up several chapters of my life. Finally, I realized that my song is still silent. It is meant to be silent, I figured. In silence, there is peace. There is a knowing and a focus. In silence means I can sing as though there are no yesterdays or tomorrows. I can create my tune and make up my choir; choreograph the piece and design the lights. In silence means I can hear better. In silence means I can pick up lost thoughts and reflect further on others. In silence means I can sing songs of silence. Whatever you do, be yourself¡and be what God designed you to be! Labour into rest and struggle to be at peace with yourself.

2001-05-27T14:49:00.000+08:00

25 March 2001, Friday PAY IT FORWARD¡think of an idea to change the world, and put it into action. Trevor McKinney, a 7th-grader, son of a single parent Arlene McKinney (Helen Hunt), changes his world and the people around him with an idea¡Eugene Simonet, the teacher, throws this idea to his social studies class, and challenges them to think it ¡®possible¡¯ to change the world. Trevor conjures the idea of ¡®Pay It Forward¡¯, brings a bum home, gave him money to buy clothes and lets him sleep in the garage. This man's life is changed by the boy¡¯s kindness¡the kindness spreads, and spreads. Meanwhile, Trevor thought he had failed and targets Mr Simonet next. He attempts to bring Eugene and his mother together, half in fear that his natural alcoholic father may return, and half hoping Eugene would replace him. Arlene is faced with a man in fear! A man whose past haunts him, emotionally and physically. He sought for familiarity and stability in his life, never got involved with girls and never questioned beyond what he knows and what he has, even though they are bad. He withdraws himself before he even stood out. He used big words to hide his simplicity, quietness to hide his silence. He fears being somewhere he¡¯s never been before and panics when confronted with his fears. Arlene confronts him one night in his apartment, barged in demanding, ¡°Do you look down on me? Coz I don¡¯t talk like you do or read the stuff you read¡don¡¯t talk to me like that! He says ¡®But I always talk like that, words are all I have.¡¯ Why, why, because you think your face looks like shit? I don¡¯t care about your burns, Eugene, if they are what they are¡whatever happened to you, you look good to me!! Eugene confessed, ¡®I¡¯ve never been here before¡¡¯ and starts being defensive, ¡®You don¡¯t see me! MY life is familiar. My life is manageable and everyday, there¡¯s a thing I do¡it¡¯s all I ever know. With THAT, I¡¯m ok¡without it, I¡¯m lost.¡¯ Arlene asks if all he WANTS in life is his god-damned manageable routine and she doesn¡¯t believe it. She kisses him and he pulls away. She said she¡¯s tried her best and he says it¡¯s not about her. Yes it is, she says, something is being offered to you here but you don¡¯t want it, maybe you¡¯re afraid to get rejected but I can¡¯t reject you, you¡¯re too quick for me. Eugene protects himself with his routine, that which he ever knew safe. Choosing loneliness and familiarity over love and change, he buries himself in his insecurities. Trevor sees him more than he sees himself. He makes him see beyond duty, to listen to his heart and follow it. The next thing he did was to appear at Arlene¡¯s house and makes love to her. It was more than baring himself and his burns to her, it was a shedding of the past, a reconciliation of desire and change, a redemption of a man given to his fears and insecurities. Almost as if to test his love for her and his ability to change, Arlene¡¯s alcoholic husband returns. Arlene looks for Eugene to explain why she¡¯s taking the alcoholic man back. Eugene was provoked to remember his past, why abused women, like Arlene and his own mother, would keep abuse a secret, and what good it does to the children and Trevor. He poured out his story of how his alcoholic father would get down on his knees in tears, begged his mother to take him back, and how she always took him back. Eugene left home when he was 13. He came back 3 years later and tries to bring his mother away. His father hits him semi-conscious and sets him ablaze. Eugene remembers the look in his eyes till today, that look of immense satisfaction of burning up his son. He breaks down¡Arlene is sorry for him and Eugene blows up¡he tells her not to be sorry for him, he begged her to just prevent that from happening to Trevor. She promises it won¡¯t happen to Trevor. Eugene pointed out ¡®All he has to do is NOT love Trevor!¡¯ and walks up his apartment. Arlene knew she¡¯s made a mistake by then, the beauty of hindsight confronts the impossibility of reversing a decision. The next time her alcoholic husband became violent with her, she chases him out of the house. Her fears that he may never forgive her again stopped her from initiating reconciliation with him. It¡¯s hard for some people who are so used to things the way they are, even if they are bad to change. And they kind of give up, when they do, everybody kinda loses. Eugene swears to Arlene that he doesn¡¯t want to be one of those people he¡¯s talking about, or become one. I don¡¯t want to spend another second of wasted air without you. Please don¡¯t let me stay trapped in this forever. I don¡¯t want to spend another second without you. That moment of intense desire and romantic passion was juxtaposed with Trevor¡¯s poignant death. He died for what he believed in, even if it means doing it on a second chance, even if it means that it seems overly idealistic and it only happens on an utopia, that by paying it forward, he can fix a person¡¯s life¡he just wants to see if he can change the world!! It¡¯s like a big chance to fix something that¡¯s not like your bike, you can fix a person. Because people can¡¯t always see what they need¡A remarkable young man who¡¯s learnt how to overcome fear and rejection to achieve what he¡¯s dreamt of. Fear is not ONE person¡¯s responsibility, it¡¯s everybody else¡¯s. All of us have a duty towards the next person, to help them overcome their weaknesses and fears, and this world will indeed, change!!

2001-05-22T20:03:00.000+08:00

9 May 2001, Tuesday We started the day off with a warm-up run and afterwards at 9 a.m., did some intense abs exercises, grip hangs & the ‘vampire’ squats. The abs exercises were the highlights of the day, targeting at the upper abs, obliques and lower back. The radical exercise was the obliques ex…we lie down sideways, criss-crossing out legs, one on top of the other. Get a partner to sit on your feet and you would do the sit-up exercise sideways, using your obliques to come up. 30 reps each side. J My palms were already sore from windsurfing and the fact that we had to hang on the thick, iron, rusty bar for 2 min creates a headache. J After land training was done, we were back for a rest plus lunch…later, the waves visited on the wind’s behalf and we went swimming & body-surfing instead. It was rather fun swimming in the surf and relaxing the body after a day’s work-out. We also saw a number of teams out there swimming together, replacing windsurfing training with a relaxing swimming session. J We had dumplings delivered to our hotel for dinner. It cost us only $25 for 4 boxes of dumplings. 12 May 2001, Saturday Full-time training is a lot more painful & tough than I had expected in every single aspect. I came to a revelation at how much ‘hard work’ & financial security plays in a sailor’s performance, all other factors a constant. Looking at the Chinese sailors here is a good example. All of them are salaried sailors, meaning it’s a job for them, hence putting them on equal grounds. Those top sailors who excel are those who train the hardest, work the most, put in their heart/soul in every single training & are ambitious. Everyone does the same training day in and day out but how HARD one works is a deciding factor which one can decide to control. Yet because the Chinese sailors are salaried, they have to press on despite feeling fatigued or not-in-the-mood to train, just as we have to go to work regardless of how we feel that day. Singapore sailors are moved by passion for windsurfing, hence when fatigue sets in, we are reluctant to continue pushing as we are no longer enjoying the sport then. We know we are not obliged to train when we are in great pain & fatigue. Yet this ‘pressing-on’ is crucial to building up an endurance which in a long time frame, is foundational in making us strong sailors. Moreover, I’m constantly worried about my finances…my family’s financial situation and how I’m not contributing to my family. I’ve not had a salary for 4 months since I turned full-time and many times, I wonder for how many more months I can train in peace, knowing that my savings are running empty and no money’s coming in on a regular basis & in sufficiency. Hence it’s not just a physical and technical struggle in full-time training. I am confident that I can and more than willing to handle the physical pain, technical understanding but the fuel that can continue to drive me on in the long term is the assurance and knowing that all other aspects of my life are taken care of. Effective full-time training is a cumulative program. Atmosphere is as important as the content of training as training in a group of good windsurfers makes it instinctive for one to assume the correct techniques, motivation and for good observation. We naturally climb up higher rungs without even knowing it. Training with others make the high training load more bearable, as the team spirit is there and pushing each other on. In this lifestyle of eat-sleep-windsurf, I think mostly windsurfing. I seldom daydreamed except when I was fatigued. I thought about what I want to achieve, how I can push myself more and further, I thought about the various techniques I need to work on and stayed alert to my goal. Knowing that I am still a foot-note in this region pushes me on…to train long & hard, it’s painful but worth it. I celebrate the fact that I am given the opportunities to extend my horizons, to push further my pain barriers and crash beyond current physical/emotional limits. There is a sort of indescribable peace in the simplicity of my dedication. I appreciated the single-mindedness of training hard during the day and holing up in my bed at night. To give up means to go back to work, which is a much easier way out because professional windsurfing is a hard, hard job (if there’s even a salary). To press on means I have to endure pain in every inch of my body, everyday. To push through barriers means I press on in moments when I feel I’m about to crash and to punish my body even harder when I don’t even have an ounce of strength left. As long as I have goals to work for, I’ll always have the fuel to drive me on & up. I can be told I only have a 1% chance to win, but I have to believe and I have to fight!! When I believe and I try, I’ll realize that I’m much better than I know; that I have unrealized capacities that sometimes only emerge in crisis. This is what drives me on…living for this cause; pursuing God’s call & knowing Him more intimately every moment. 14 May 2001, Monday: Journey to Shantou from Shanwei to visit my distant relatives: They were all so happy to see me…some were in tears. I’ve not done something like this for anyone but for Mom. It was a tumultuous journey to begin with…when uncle was telling everyone how I am ‘wu sim’ (got heart), I was kinda emotionless. Coz I din go there coz I really miss them or really want to see them. For goodness’ sake, I wasn’t born when they were in S’pore. Moreover, my generation will be the lost world. I went there coz I know Mom will be happy. That’s all! In fact, when I was there, I didn’t feel any emotion nor feeling of intimacy with any of them. Logically, I know that the cousins, uncles, aunties are all directly related to me. There’s definitely a gap. I felt more like a tourist than anything else…I was intrigued by the pigs, the photos, the ancestors’ stuff, the ‘living room’ (which they told me is the best place in the hse), the furniture, the lifestyle etc…I was really nothing more than a sociologist, perhaps. Interested in their lifestyle, thoughts, ideals etc…but I felt bad that they felt emotional towards me…I cannot augur any emotion in me, not towards my cousins too. My journey to Shantou was very exciting. Ahaha…after I reached the Shanwei bus depot, I was touted by many men, some on motorbikes & others on foot. They asked where I’m going etc…I told them. Immediately one of them told me he can get me to the bus, comfortable etc…private bus somemore. Only $80. (I know it only costs $45). Then he came on his motorbike but I refused…thinking I have to sit on the rickety bike for 3 hrs. He claimed that he’s only sending me to catch the bus. Somehow, with other rough men, they bundled me up the bike, together with many other men pushing me along…I got up, sititng sideways in my denim skirt & big haversack (containing the few kgs of tidbits & 2 pieces of clothing for the night). I sat on it for 15 min…I kept asking him if he’s for real, where he’s bringing me to, knowing that he’s lying etc…then we alighted & he made me climb this little hill…up on to the expressway itself. Well, we stood on the x’way waiting…under the hot sun…waiting…for a passing bus to shantou. I didn’t quite know how the real bus looks like but I was oredi in a ‘fix’. He told me to prepare the $80…but I said I’ll only pay when I’m in the bus. A few buses didn’t stop. Then finally the most dirty looking and rickety bus stopped…he paid the rough guy some $$ & I got up. Meanwhile, he pulled me down, asking me for his $$. I took out a handful of $$, containing only $44 & gave it to him while forcefully making my way up the bus while he was still pulling me down. Then he counted & realized that it was less than what he was supposed to receive. The bus moved off & I saw him running hard after the bus, shouting for his $$. Aha!! No way I’m getting tricked by him k…cheating me of $ & making me wait under the hot sun for passing bus. I was already cheated by this man. Anyway, I immediately confirmed if the bus was going to Shantou. It was a passing bus that goes to many places, Shantou being one of them…& u can drop anywhere u like. I saw many pple alighting on expressways. Strange. The guys in the bus were out of this world…not the common china man…too rough & dirty. Ahah…the guy accompanying the driver ignored all my questions. I still didn’t know where the bus is alighting me in Shantou. Shantou is real big. Anyway, the seats were actually beds, very narrow & double-decked, real dirty & crude. From the outside, it looks worse than a prison. Ahaha…but I never knew I could be on one. I juz sat upright, sideways, behind the driver thru’ out the 2 ½ hr journey. The guy would juz spit out of the window, or splash the tea water on the floor leading to the door. Everything will go there…aiyah, very dirty lah. The ride was very rough…so are the people. I knew everyone was staring at me. Finally, 1 hr to Shantou, this man came to the front & spoke to me in Teochew. He was helpful & asked me where I’m going. I didn’t know where to alight etc…I called 3rd uncle & put him on the line with this man. They arranged to drop me off at the train station & told the driver. THANK GOD!! 17 May 2001, Thursday We had our ‘SEA Games selections’ AGAIN…and I dare say it’s the worst selections I ever had coz we had 7 races in one afternoon from 1:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m. Back to back (one immediately after another; no rest) races in 10-15 kts wind, half-mast waves…by the 6th & 7th races, I was pooped & fell in several times. I had done well in the first 4 races, finishing juz less than 10m after Meng in the first few races. I didn’t expect to have so many races so I worked my heart out in the first few…and got too tired by the 5th race. Andrew sat out the 6th & 7th races & QH took over his board. And the best part is, the race course was HUGE…Olympic size…we couldn’t see the buoys from anywhere except nearing the mark itself. Not to mention trying to spot the Upwind mark at the Start line. It was a trying day for me…we also had land trg at 6:30 a.m. yesterday as well, doing 3 sets of pumping, sit-ups/back extension & frog jumps. We rested in the morning…in fact, lying in bed till lunch-time. Got down to beach at 12+ p.m. & back in hotel at 6 p.m. Ching decided to sleep at 8:10 p.m. while I was trying to get out of reality (ouch!) by watching Doraemon. I followed suit & woke up only at 7 a.m. QH gave us a break for the morning today…yay!!! Even now, we r still lying/sitting in bed, our backs too sore to enable us to move around much. I’ve had a cup of coffee, some biscuits & drinking cereal now…oh, and having my facial mask on. Hehe… 22 May 2001, Tuesday 13 days away from being home-sweet-home again. What a wait…3 of us are counting down day by day…missing home & talking about what we want to do when we are home. We were in Guangzhou the last 2 days, staying one night at the airport hotel (bagus!!!), giving us an excellent excuse to take a break while sending our pals off. We really pampered ourselves coz it cost us $438 a night & we took 2 rooms. We are spoilt now…returning ‘home’ to our crappy hotel took some getting-used-to. Ahaha… Shopping in Guangzhou was quite alritez…I thought I would not need to spend much here…true but not in GZ. Hence I borrowed money from Jon for shopping & we call him Ah Long ‘Seng’ now (coz his surname is Seng). Ahahaha…so many stuff to buy & feeling so happy. I bought myself a pair of Teva sandals, a pair of Merrell trekking shoes , VCDs (Driven; Enemy at the Gates, Lao Fu Zi & Pay It Forward) & 2 Giordano tops. I also bought a pink Minnie Mouse air sofa for Ruth & Joan (my lovely nieces). Ahahaha…I’m sooooooooo happy with my best-buys…hehehe…& secretly proud of myself for getting them at such bargains & yet, they are genuine stuff. I was intrigued by the 45 degrees print on the Merrell shoes (my boyfriend’s sail no. is 45) which thoroughly matches my 37 degrees board shorts. We went for non-Chinese food while we were there…ate Mac’s & Pizza Hut. Ordered pizzas & spaghetti, chocolate drinks, Cappucino etc…wonderful!! Makes all the suffering more worthwhile after all. On our return journey back ‘home’, we endured a 4-5 hrs long bumpy bus ride with a flood jam towards the end. It was spectacular & I was so engrossed I forgot to take pictures. The flood was a sight, as we saw china-men cycling in knee-high floods, with one hand holding an umbrella (it was raining). These people are very fit indeed! Ahaha…moreover, my coach-mate was not the more considerate sort of girl. She would jab me in my side everytime she reaches into her bag for more melon seeds. And when she talks on her mobile phone, I would instinctively veer away from her as she’s practically SHOUTING into the phone. At times, she would take out her bracelet and start thumbing on the beads. Yes, she must be a Buddhist. And she must have been worshipping the ‘karate’ Buddha-of-Fury or she wouldn’t have known how to jab coach-mates in their sides. After some time, I would lean away from her as her legs begin to widen and her arms start to open up…I figured she could be feeling warm and hence, airing her underarms. *evil grin* J Btw, 3 of us were seated on the first front seats. We were also entertained to Chinese Karaoke. I had a double bonus treat!! My coach-mate was singing along to the Father-Mother songs. They love songs with father, mother, nature themes. Titles range from ‘My mother’s sheep-skin coat’, ‘The Mongolians’ to ‘My most wonderful Father’. My coach-mate apparently is an ‘IN’ girl as she knows all the songs and I could hear the audible singing from my left. Scenes always include the sky, sea, buffaloes, naked young boys splashing in the rivers, Sheep, Mongolians and family scenes. If not for the spectacular flood, I would have been bored from the Karaoke songs & my coach-mate.

2001-05-01T13:41:00.000+08:00

CHINA TRAINING 15 APRIL ¨C 5 JUNE Monday, April 15 2001: QH found a hotel for us...already one of the better budgeted ones but still crappy. Let's mention that there's no use for the phone since we can't call out or use it for the internet, there's no cleaning services at all since we paid at a 'discounted' rate. Then, the TV is blur, no kettle etc...some of the plugs don't work so i can't boil water initially. I resorted to buying a scrub and scrubbing clean the bathroom...and tried clearing the remnants (cigarette butts, stuck hair, dirt etc) of the previous guest. It proved to be futile so we bought cheap slippers to wear in the room. We went out this morning and came back with pails for every room, washing powder, clothes hangers, china slippers etc...I spent all my free time cleaning the room and arranging/airing furniture. I feel like I'm a chambermaid now. But crappy hotels do have its positives...they let us leave our equipment at the entrance and we rigged up at the hotel compound this morning. Then we carried the sail/board and walked about 200m to the training site, having to watch out for 'horny' vehicles along the way. It was quite exciting. I never tried walking so far with my board & sail b4 in typical china traffic... Monday Afternoon: We set sail this afternoon after settling many matters in the morn...we were about the only ones out on water today. All the other elite sailors were resting and engaged in land training later since the wind was considered 'too light'. We sailed with several Shandong Junior sailors, very young kids...it was about 5-7 knots and the waves were already knee high and more. At times, I could only see Andrew's mop of hair...My first upwind was a mess because I can't quite point with such big waves. You also do not want to fall into water since the no. of jellyfish there is, trust me, much more than what Penang has to offer. They are also HUGE jellyfish which you don't want to mess with. Downwind legs are really thrilling as the rollers can get very high and sometimes nothing at all. When the wind is about 20-30+ knots, the sailors say the waves are more than mast high...and very cold. Yup, the water is cold...about 17 degrees i think. I can't wait to try the more-than-mast-high waves & 30 over knots wind... The China Olympics is postponed to 21 April. Guess what? Chujun and the rest who were training on shortboard have all switched to Formula racing. They are into NP sails and Starboard. Wow!! What are we waiting for...Oh yes, when we came back to shore, the sailors were all into their land training. Wow...As usual, i felt that we looked like blobs of walking fat when i saw their lean, muscled bodies. In fact, andrew was rite when he said we look more like coaches since we r 'fat'. ahaha...The girls were using weights which our strongest guys used and their guys were using weights which our strongest guys never used before. I think QH is being ambitious when he said we can share their weights etc...they are simply of weight-lifting standards. We are set to start on the 'pumping machine' tomorrow at 6:30 a.m. :) Tuesday 16 April 2001: We had our first proper training today. 3 parts to our training today. we started at 6:30 a.m. & found the whole place infested with sailors running. we did a 3-4 km run for warm-up and proceeded to do 3 sets x 3 min of pumping on the pumping machine. wow...my first time and it was a good trial. There, QH pointed out our mistakes & etc...i FINALLY totally understood it. we intend to go back s'pore & get some welder to craft it out...it really helps a lot. then we proceeded to breakfast at 7+ a.m. we rested for an hr b4 we r out at 9 a.m. for part 2. we ran again for warm up...the same distance. then we did 4 sets of painful ex. 1) the hanging grip 4 x 2 min. all 3 of us drop down from the thick, rusty bar abt the same no. of times. very tough. ahahaha...the chinese sailors really hv forearms as big as my biceps. 2) squats 4 x 50 reps. 3) 4 x 3 min of pumping on the machine. it was very tiring. we went for lunch. rested for a while and at 12+ p.m., rigged up and went out to sea. My upwind & downwind improved by leaps & bounds indeed coz i now got my pumping technique correct after trying it out so intensively on the pumping machine. soon, abt 40 over sailors joined us so now, it's like a mini china open. 20 April 2001, Friday For some reason, I juz could not use the GRIC in shanwei. QH asked one of his zhejiang gals to bring me to the Internet caf¨¦ in a town nearby. So I resorted to saving all my emails in a disk & copy/paste on the emails to send out. So, I¡¯ll be saving all my emails in Word doc & pasting on emails. Sorry the emails I sent were all messy & everything. We went there abt 9 p.m. & the shop was closing at 10 p.m. Plus, I didn¡¯t want to go back too late as I was alone. I asked Weiyuan (the ZJ gal to go back first coz their bed-time is 9:30 p.m.). I was done at 10 odd and caught a ¡®beep beep¡¯ motorbike only abt 10 min later & it was almost a ghost town. Then I saw a ¡®beep beep¡¯ (the local small motor ¡®taxi¡¯) but he initially didn¡¯t want to take me as he was sending 2 of his children home. But I was desperate and it was pitch black liao¡hehe, he took me & I sat beside his kid and the other younger one was under my feet. Ahahaha¡it was really funny!! I put my arm across the kid beside me as he looked like he was flying off already. I felt worried for him. Only abt 1 year plus¡and the bike ride was rough. I tipped the driver oso. I felt exceptionally grateful when I reached our hotel; I looked around at the quiet dark streets and imagined some Chinese pontianaks jumping out from the bushes; some mad men looking for rape victims or wild dogs devouring me for supper. Ahaha¡Nah, I wasn¡¯t scared lah¡juz can¡¯t help keeping my imagination from running wild. I muz tell myself NOT to think too much; my classic flaw. We are done with Part 1 trg 2day and we are pardoned from the Part 2 as there is no wind. Hot air is building up & unlike S¡¯pore, the weather works differently. We did our warm-up run and then 3 sets of 3 min pumping. I was punctured right from Set 1; simply too worn out from y¡¯day¡¯s long training. This morning, Andrew went ¡°GOOD!!! No wind¡aching sia!!¡± I¡¯m glad I¡¯m not the only one¡but they were not as bad as me on the pumping machine. QH said we had persevered for quite some days already so we deserve the rest this morning. We¡¯ll sail only this afternoon. You don¡¯t know how RELIEVED I am¡I had my DIY facial mask on now, might as well, I saw 2 pimples threatening to manifest on my face. Finally, I have time to sit down and have coffee. This is my first cup of coffee since I reached here as we always have 3 trgs a day. Phew!! ³ÔÁË¿àÖÐ¿à£¬·½ÉÏÁì½±Ì¨¡£ 27 April 2001, Friday San San has just won the China Olympics Selections. She crossed the finish line about 15 min ago at 4+ p.m. 27 April. I was on the boat watching the races. She was phenomenal!! I have definitely found my favourite sailor and ¡®idol¡¯ now¡no doubt about it. Ahhaa¡she beat Huang Ying to it and I can¡¯t wait to know the final results in October. That will be really exciting. 2 months and 16 days into my full-time training since 8 Feb, I think I¡¯ve changed a great deal as a sailor. We¡¯ve had winds ranging from Force 1 to Force 5, flat water to waves as big as ¾ mast high since we came. It¡¯s really exciting¡I¡¯ve not seen anything like this. San San is superb in strong strong winds and she¡¯s really pulled back into fifth gear in today¡¯s 3rd race (1st) after getting 5th in the first 2 races today. She was lagging behind Huang Ying by one point with a last race to go¡She¡¯s definitely won it and delivered yet again. Watching it was inspiring and energizing while the men¡¯s races were superhuman. They raced like there was no tomorrow! Ahaha¡The wind ranged from 8-12 knots, measured by your SWF wind gauge. Yesterday we¡¯ve had winds 18-22 kts in the 3rd race and lighter winds in the first 2 races. The sailors can rest now¡finally! It was as competitive as the Olympics, changing leaders every single day in every race. QH made me so tired yesterday¡I was aching so badly and so tired that I slept from 8:30 p.m. till 7 a.m. this morning. Guess wat?? QH fell sick today¡he¡¯s paralysed in bed the whole day today while we were on the Zhejiang boat watching the last races. He had apparently caught a cold when he went out on Andrew¡¯s equipment y¡¯day in the Force 5 winds¡hehe, I told Zhou Zihou & Shi Dong that we made him so angry he fell sick. Hehe¡these 2 Hainan coaches are the funniest characters I¡¯ve seen here. They would always survive mast-high waves in their tiny rubber dinghy. They¡¯re the best! Ahaha¡the Zhejiang coach would also like to speed on his old, tattered powerboat and shooting right up to shore with a swoosh! Ahaha¡ Was pooped out y¡¯day. Never felt so tired in my life, not even during Singapore Open, not on my normal trgs¡slept at 8:30 p.m. till 7 a.m. this morning. Totally aching and in pain¡every inch of my body cries out in protest and suffering. It has been blowing the last few days we¡¯ve been sent out to the slaugher. Yesterday we skipped the 6:30 a.m. trg coz QH wanted us to reserve energy for the 9 a.m. & afternoon trg. And I thought he was being merciful¡yikes!! We sailed in 13-15 kts wind from 9:00 a.m. till 12:30 p.m. The waves were big, already about half-3/4 mast high (1.5 metres) in this considerably light wind condition. Hence, it was tiring having to control and fly through waves etc¡and I finally discovered what is ¡®planing¡¯. I¡¯m definitely planning faster than ever¡discovering a grace I never felt b4. The feeling is so amazingly fulfilling. Planing has never felt so streamlined, beautiful¡riding waves has never been so thrilling and fun¡ I must have eaten 5-6 bowls of rice during lunch¡NO JOKE¡I really ate so much! Then after we went back to the hotel, I juz can¡¯t help but fall asleep, even if it was for half an hour b4 I went out again at 3 p.m. This time, I dragged myself to the beach. Whitecaps everywhere and I was cold from the cold wind blowing right into my nostrils. My wetsuit did not feel thick enough¡it was blowing Force 5¡18-22 kts wif nice big waves. I was still VERY VERY tired¡I was numb to the point that I didn¡¯t have the strength to tell Coach if I can skip the afternoon. Sighz¡but I started laughing when I couldn¡¯t push in my batten coz I started trembling in fatigue. Ahaha¡he helped me rig up and there I went¡into the torture chambers. I didn¡¯t get slammed and I did enjoy flying thru¡¯ the waves and planning at high speeds on the reach¡upwind was painful as I¡¯m juz not so adept at it yet. I hope VERY SOON, I can sail in winds up to 30 kts in ease. If Huang Ying & Masako can do it, why not me? Today QH let us rest for the morning. Juz came back from tim-sum breakfast. I¡¯m too tired to do anything anyway¡juz feel like sleeping thru¡¯¡I dunno if I can tahan the afternoon session. Actually, I really quite miss home. It¡¯s my 13th day here and I cannot quite imagine another 37 days here, knowing trg load will intensify daily. I don¡¯t want to think abt the pain and fear, gotta take one day as it comes!! Fear will drive out all my energy. Our return flight is on 5 June. And we are not done with April yet, oh man¡help!! Li Ke (QH¡¯s wife, also ex Asian Games champ & 4th in 1996 Olympics) said a good athlete will do more than what the Coach set out¡but I can¡¯t even say I can cruise thru¡¯ what was planned out, how can I do more¡ Well, now that I¡¯ve been thru¡¯ this, there¡¯s nothing else I cannot endure! Really¡I can tahan all the ¡®ku¡¯ anyone can throw my way. It¡¯s 9: 12 a.m. now¡so tired¡gonna sleep again! All the daily trgs in S¡¯pore (while I was full-time) added together are still not enough to tire me as the trgs here could for one day. Saturday, 28 April Ker wan has been playing golf over the weekends at Shanghai while he was here for work. I was jealous. Ahaha¡.China tv here is showing lotsa Beijing 2008 Olympics¡wow¡they are really serious about it and I¡¯m already feeling inspired. I spent the aftn today in Huang Ying¡¯s room. She was the 1998 Asian Games medallist (lost to san san) plus Huang Ying was telling me about her races wif san san and when I hear the same story from diff sailors, I tend to learn a lot. But I¡¯ll always ask QH to comment on anything I learn as I don¡¯t want to contradict his teaching. Even Li Ke¡¯s comments are good. However I¡¯m not confident of the fotos I took out at sea as the boat shakes A LOT¡coz of the big waves¡I bet most of them would be blur¡can¡¯t help it. But I hope some of them will turn out nice nonetheless. Now that we¡¯ve rested for 2 days in a row, I hope we¡¯ll train tomorrow actually. With every new thing I learn everyday, I can¡¯t wait to go out to sea to practise or to manifest in spirit during land training. I also hope to challenge my endurance & determination everyday in training; be it in pushing through higher limits or doing an extra rep or doing the last rep stronger than b4. I told Li Ke that at this moment, we can¡¯t dream of doing 6 sets when coach orders 4 sets coz I would be struggling with the 4th set. Ahaha..but I said I¡¯ll try when I¡¯ve reached a comfortable fitness level. Ahaha¡but most importantly, I¡¯m learning the athlete¡¯s attitude¡which is to really be mechanic about training and do w/o complaints, to push through despite feeling that I¡¯m about to die. 30 April, Monday It¡¯s 11 a.m. now & Juz done with Parts 1 & 2 of trg 2day. Oh man¡it¡¯s painful! For the early morning ex, I went thru¡¯ it still feeling the hangover fr last nite¡¯s drinking. Last night, I struggled back to hotel & puked my entire dinner out in the toilet. They juz like to ¡®gan bei¡¯ everything & I had kenna a few drinks incl one cup of red wine concoction which was lighter than the normal beer. So I was KO last nite but woken up by the darn mosquitoes several times. Oh yes, it was in the midst of drinking that I called home to say ¡®hi¡¯. J For part 2 trg, I saw the entire comet family, incl the many stars, sun & moon. Ahaha¡we had 3 days¡¯ rest & now we are paying for it. We did 4 sets at the 9 a.m. part 2 trg of 3 ex, not incl a warm-up run, (many times) sprints while weaving in/out of unruly traffic & minimizing inhalation of carbon monoxide. Then we had the pumping ex, abs & frog jump. I even conversed with the stars, counting how many there were in broad daylight. Many times I juz want to crumble onto the grass but get scolded by QH to stand up. I oso ate lotsa tidbits so I¡¯m paying for it now. There¡¯s not much wind now but I figure we¡¯ll definitely go out & do a few hrs of hard pumping. It seems that we are forever struggling with each day¡¯s trg coz I realized that QH is adding an extra set to each day¡¯s program, hence pushing us. I think to be positive, my fitness is definitely improving coz I can do every ex properly, reducing rest time & doing each ex harder. QH is out to make us so fatigued that when we rest b4 a race, we can spring to a higher dimension of fitness. I was juz commenting to QH that zhejiang girls¡¯ forearms r very big; I think same size as Andrew¡¯s¡juz look very thick. All of them are about 60+ kgs, tall oso. This morning, we saw them do 100 pull-ups¡they can do as many sets as they want as long as they finish 100 reps. Wow¡power! We still hv not kenna 100 pull-ups in our trg YET. Oh, this morn, QH was saying he muz train our tummies till ¡®mei mei¡¯, meaning lean & only abs, not blobs of fat. Ahaha¡I was very happy to hear that. Coz all his athletes got nice 8 abs (guys). I think he¡¯s very determined¡ I¡¯m feeling excited about training¡coz the race is over & we can now focus on training, training, training¡moreover, I went to Shanwei town y¡¯day. Bought a lot of tidbits for relatives as well as other stuff. Plus, I bought a regular XIAO DING DANG soft-toy for only RMB35. I¡¯m SO HAPPY to have xiao ding dang sleeping wif me every nite. Hehe¡in Cantonese, he¡¯s called xiao ding dong! Hehe, like a mad guy. He¡¯s so fat & cute!! & he can fly when he puts up his aero-wings on his head!! It¡¯s 1 p.m. now¡juz back from lunch. QH was saying that his hope is for me to get the breakthru¡¯, to get the GOLD¡and for the boys to come back wif medals. They¡¯re too distant from the Thais & Indo guys¡hence can only hope for a medal. QH urged me to have the confidence that I can get the gold as light wind conditions certainly favours me, my weight & height etc¡ I¡¯m so excited!!!! I¡¯m growing to love training & pushing, knowing that EVERYDAY, I¡¯m pushing myself to a higher dimension; bettering myself; strengthening my character; trusting in God a little more & feeling His tangible grace day by day. I certainly miss church a great deal¡I certainly miss the wonderful presence of God which I cannot get in such intensity here tho¡¯ I do have it when I worship Him. I¡¯m beginning to understand wat San San said abt me beginning to start LIVING when I start pro windsurfing. Coz all the time, we r pushing thru¡¯ limits & climbing to higher ones¡it¡¯s up to me how much I want to suffer now & reap the rewards later. It¡¯s satisfying knowing that I¡¯m fully responsible for my own results, yet at the same time, scary. A good sailor will not give excuses for poor performance. If he didn¡¯t train hard, he won¡¯t get good results. Oh, did I tell u wat San San said to me juz b4 she left¡On the prize-giving night, san san came up to me & talked to me¡wow!!! Guess what she told me?? She told me to email her the SEA Games results & she says that she knows I can do it¡get the gold & let her know I did it. I laughed in amazement at what she was saying & she juz nodded her head & said ¡®yes, I know u can¡¡¯ & ¡®I saw u running hard that day¡¯ & then shook my hand. U can¡¯t imagine the encouragement I felt from that few sentences. Enough to pull me through the toughest times!! She¡¯s trained harder than anyone else to get the results she deserved!

2001-04-02T17:10:00.000+08:00

2001 SEA Games TRIALS It's finally over!! That was all I thought of after I crossed the finish line in the 3rd and last race yesterday. So many things were going thru' my head...and yet I was fatigued to the point that I was just mentally numb. I came in 3rd in all 3 races today and that is phenomenal for my standards. For the first 2 races, I was behind the top 2 guys, Andrew & Meng and I was happy to be there. It will take Meng some serious mistakes for me to be able to come in 2nd, as I did in 2 other races. But he was careful yesterday and I made relatively more mistakes than him. It's not just a milestone for me, it's almost historic enough to be in my version of the Guinness Records. It's really not about my pumping, my tactics, my diet or preparation. It's really about Jesus in me, the Christ who enabled and empowered me beyond my human abilities. During the entire afternoon, only one thing was going through my mind...that was a song we sang in the church service early this morning. The lyrics "In every victory, let it be said of me, My source of strength, my source of hope, Is Christ alone." were just ringing all over and over again..."I'm living for this cause, I lay down my life to you alone, I'm living for the truth, the hope of the world..." At the beach while we were waiting for the races to begin, I was feeling drowsy and sleepy from a lack of sleep the night before. I was feeling grouchy, tired and physically drained. I wasn't the most enthusiastic monkey on the water...till the thrill of the race drove up my adrenalin! I remembered what my friend, Julie said to me, to look unto Jesus, not unto myself...and I reminded myself of that all the time. I had the most upwind starts in all 3 races, though not necessary having the best speed at first, but was able to catch up when sailors start to fade away as the waves can crash you down very easily unless you make effort to crash thru'. The first race, for the most experienced sailor, would be most favourable because amateurs usually take one race to understand the wind/current conditions etc...but I was kinda honed better from the last 3 weeks of racing. So my game plan was already set and I followed it...it happened to be the same route that Andrew & Meng took as well, which explained why we won. The winds were shifty and especially large angles on the extreme tacks of the course. So it was especially beneficial to sail on the inside of the course and making many tacks in shifts. Sailors who take extreme tacks never recovered and I always wonder why they continue to do so in the subsequent laps & races. The current was enormously strong over the weekends and it was logically better to stay near shore than outside. However, the gains will certainly be a lot more when the sailor takes advantage of both shifts and currents at the same time. On the reaches and downwind, it is just muscles (pumping) and riding waves. Yesterday's conditions were beautiful for riding waves and if not for that, I would never have held off the boys... During the first upwind leg in the first race, I was second to Andrew when I was caught up by 3 other guys by the time I finished my reach. Disaster! I was really feeling physically weak, the toll of the last 3 weeks' racing was taking effect then. I decided to catch back my position on the second upwind...so I did...I played with the shifts, cashed in on the guys' mistakes and way before I reached the upwind mark, I was 3rd and leading the next guy by quite some distance. Meng wasn't making mistakes already so I just had to maintain my position and not make mistakes myself. By then, I was pulling a distance of about a leg from the guy behind me and comfortably sailing past the finish line 3rd. 2nd race was a little more exciting. First we had 'star' treatment...the Straits Times photographer, May-E, was clicking away on the boat and I was both pumping hard and smiling wide for her.What a deal! So many things to focus on...amazing isn't it? My hair, my smile, my stance, suck in my tummy if there was any, and then there were the race elements, the wind shifts, the currents etc...Andrew was overwhelmed by the enormous amount of tasks during the foto-shoot that he fell in once during the reach. I laughed, evil me. :) The best part was when ONE HUGE MOVING ship started to sail towards our upwind buoy. Suddenly, there were shouts all over...Meng warned me about the moving ship as I saw him tack away...I was heading towards it...and at the same time, warning other guys. I asked Meng 'HOW??' Then I saw Andrew courageously pumping his way into the bow of the ship and attempting to make the buoy. I suddenly imagined him getting run over by the ship. :( I reminded myself not to get distracted as it would be darn easy to. As expected, about 3 guys got distracted and lost lotsa ground. I staked my claim on 3rd position and maintained it till the end. Lots of things can happen in a race and it's no excuse to be distracted by them. For a tennis player or soccer player, the crowd would be the biggest distraction. They can boo, cheer, throw flowers or beer cans...the athletes' performance must never be tagged to external factors for then, it would have been proved the greatest futility for the amount of training effort put in. Would you want to lose your Grand Slam title because of some rowdy spectator in the stands? No!! Neither should windsurfers lose the win due to moving ships, rude fishermen or bikini-clad babes in distress. Sometimes, windsurfers can have the greatest excuses from a broken batten, anchor line, rope tears, forearm cramps to collisions with sailors. Reasons are as valid as the reality of the sun, but whether we let these affect our performance SUBSEQUENTLY is totally our decision. In the 3rd race, I was pooped by then...tired and no groove for pumping. I had one of the best starts but can't quite deliver...I rounded the first round's upwind mark no. 6 or so. It was quite a disaster. I didn't pump hard in the reach so I can think better in the next upwind. I fought back in the second upwind... Thank God the wind picked up and I was comfortably planing in good speed. I climbed back to 3rd spot by then and never looked back. However, Coach Tan mentioned that I should have made sure my angle was good when I could do so, but I didn't. Otherwise, he was sure I would have caught up with Meng. I figured he was totally right. What followed was comfortably wave-riding except when I was chasing another guy to the finish line. And it was 'The End' when I heard the whistle. Phew!!! So, after 16 races over 3 months, I was finally ranked 4th (out of 11) in the Overall position & 1ST in Ladies in the National Team. I led the next lady sailor by a whopping 20 points, exceedingly more than I had imagined!! I was sorry that she was not sailing well but I just had to do my best in every race regardless of whether I was already the Ladies Champion. I was sore about the Singapore Open & Tudor results as they had pulled down my overall points disgustingly. If not for these, I would have been 3rd overall! Nonetheless, I am contented and happy. I cannot help the fact that I couldn't train much or quit my job prior to Singapore Open. But I'm glad that God, my Defender always stands strong on my behalf. The verses which really pulled me through these weeks are: 2 Chronicles 16:9 "For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him." 2 Chronicles 20:17 "You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem! Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the LORD IS WITH YOU." How can I fail when the Almighty God is with me and ONE with me...HE is IN me and I in Him...It was HIM through me...I did it through Him. Praise God!!!

2001-03-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

Penang Swimming Club Regatta 10-11 March 2001 It has been a whirlwind month...it went by almost as fast as I thought Carl Lewis had run passed me. Training wound down to moderation 2 days before the Penang Regatta which was held over 10-11 March at Penang. It was intended to stretch me in all manners and much more, indeed, than I had imagined. We rented 3 cars and drove up on Friday afternoon with 7 sets of equipment and 2 coaches. It proved to be a longer ride than we had planned for, with much unforeseen delays. Ranging from roof racks, bladder problems, paper work, you name it we had it. :) Setting off from our club at 3 p.m., we reached Penang only at 2+ a.m. (real early!). Just when I had expected myself to be able to get a much-deserved sleep, the boys wanted supper, and beer. Off we went, to eat the famous Penang char kway teow, laksa etc...when we were done, it was almost 4 a.m. after we cleared a horrendous road construction jam. I figured I slept only at 5 a.m. The next morning at 10 a.m., we were gobbling down our breakfast at KFC before rushing to the Opening Ceremony at 11 a.m. at the Penang Swimming Club. Blah blah blah... we rigged up our gear and were on the water after lunch. There, we waited for 2 hrs for the OD to lay, relay buoys, shift and reshift the boat etc...I had to do my pre-race homework 4-5x which truly frustrated me! They just cannot decide if the OD boat be on the starboard or port side of the start line. They also cannot decide on the range of wind shifts, plus, the start line was a wee too short. The best part was, the start line port buoy was also the 3rd mark which boats will round coming downwind. And, there are 470s, catamarans & lasers racing on the same course, and windsurfers start last. I had my first shock doing my first start, when I decided it was port bias and was nicely pa0srked there...and at 1 min, charging head-on with a bunch of catamarans, 470s & lasers. I had my first screwed-up start for the regatta. Ker Wan & I had supposedly had good starts considering port start was correct. We overlooked a major wind shift and overlayed enough for the whole fleet to tack on top of us. I spent the rest of the race just trying to recover from my mistakes and finished decent. We had another race and finished well though I can't remember what position. By the way, the wind was good...ranging from 10-13 knots. Thank God we had minimal pumping that day. I survived much better than I imagined...despite the lack of sleep, jet lag and fatigue. We rewarded ourselves with loads and loads of Penang good food afterwards. From char kway teow, laksa, prawn noodles, mee chiam kuay, soya bean, rojak etc...to buying loads of pirated VCDs...Sunday's race was exciting. The wind was lighter, sometimes planing on upwind in gusts but it was otherwise, predominantly pumping for the 3 races. There were protests, changes in finish rules and arguments. I hesitate to write these accounts with optimism but I was honestly pissed off by some of our sailors, and definitely, the OD. The OD had made changes to the finish line rule only to revert it back after the race and qualify all the sailors who had not obeyed the rule. This resulted in some sailors losing their positions to those who were ignorant of the change. This caused Thye to lose his first place (including 300RM) to Andrew (who had missed the correct finish line). I had my points reverted too... and sailors who had multiple OCS and flouting of rules were not penalised at all. Unfairness and lack of integrity reigns in this regatta and many of us swear never to return again. I came in 4th in the Mistral Men's class ultimately, sailing very well and holding my own among the boys. I had insulted the guy whom I had asked if I could join the Men's class since there is no Ladies class or Open class. He had told me most gently that I could take part if I just wanted to have some fun. Sure...I wanted fun but I came to do well...:) POWERPUFF GIRLS RULE!!!!! 2001 KL SEA Games Trials 17 March to 1 April 2001 Till now, we have done 12 races in this series of 16 races to make up the SEA Games Trials. 4 of these are Singapore Open & Tudor International races. Tudor was the worst race I have in this series and the curse child. I had 10 points for both which I have no choice but to discard. My March trials races were good, having one of the top 5 scores in the team of 11 sailors taking part in this selections. In these races over the last 2 weeks, my scores were (positions counted as Overall in the fleet of 11): 2, 8, 8, 5, 5, 2, 7 & 4. We are allowed to discard 4 races in this series and unfortunate for my Tudor results and a couple flukes (storms and sudden wind shifts), I could have much better results than these. The best races are my 2 races of 2nd positions. I had one each week. The rest are average results and in those circumstances, I will focus on covering my rival and making sure I cross the line ahead of her. Ultimately, I strive for personal best races which mean top 4 positions. Everytime the conditions are tricky and shifty where wind judgement supercedes pumping prowess, I tend to excel. I got the 7th position in a strong wind race where everything bad began to snowball on the start line. I had TC Chua who was on Formula equipment, knocking me hard just as we charged off the line. I couldn't recover my rhythm and groove...Murphy's law took over from then...everything bad happened since. At the moment, I'm 4th overall in the National Team (out of 11) in this selections and fighting to climb to 3rd and keeping my Ladies champion podium to myself. I hoped I proved the point that lady windsurfers are no losers among the boys... We have had decently light training load this week...all of us were on shortboard on Tuesday when it blew up to 16 kts. I enjoyed the relaxing planing, smooth gybes and jumps. My ankles hurt now...from jumping off the lip of the waves and not landing properly. Yesterday we sailed long distances focusing on riding waves on upwind/downwind. I figured I love riding on waves...the thrills are tremendous. Coach commented that my speed sense is very good now. After 3 weeks of hard hard racing, the pain has finally taken its toll on me. Aching and in pain, fatigued and tired, even a massage session last night eased me only for the night. Everyone in the Trials is tired and the sailor who perseveres till the end wins! Though I'm leading the Ladies now, I cannot rest on my laurels. Respect my rivals and never never ever underestimate them. You never know when they can beat you unawares until you have crossed the finish line in the last race. Stay tuned for the final results...the Straits Times and Sportscity will cover this final showdown this weekends. :)

2001-03-07T22:11:00.000+08:00

GLEN PERONI - Triathlete The Starters Gun Sports and the outdoors have been a significant part of my life since very early, so early, in fact, that my dad tells me I could swim before I could walk. My first taste of competition came in soccer and soon I had two State Championships to cherish. Cycling quickly followed and then, in 1984, I entered my first Triathlon. From that point on I was hooked to the thrill and the challenge of the swim, bike, run events. Through the early 90’s I became a top competitor in Florida and earned two National Championships. I thrived on the busy life-style and hard work and soon found myself using the physical efforts to mask emotional pains. Although I was a competitive athlete with a great job and supportive family and friends I was spinning my wheels in an effort to find direction, focus, and peace. In Transition In the summer of 1995 I realized that my life-style was simply not fulfilling my dreams of a life of peace that I could call upon in any situation. Life was good if training and racing were good and if not, well, I was not happy. My life had become very “conditional” and it was difficult because I knew there was a better way. After a couple of months of soul searching I remembered something my family had told me many times before, “No matter where you go or what you do, God will always welcome you with open arms”. This was all it took for me to get on my knees and ask Jesus to forgive me, to be an active part of my life, and to help me live each day with Him in my heart. At Every Finish Line The challenge remains; to be competitive yet cooperative, to be humble and still stand out. And, as with anything in life, I find myself being challenged and pushed to go the extra mile, to make a difference before I finish the race. I now face these challenges with an incredible friend, a friend who guides me to make a helpful difference in the lives of others. My friend’s name is Jesus Christ and he is Available and Faithful to be your friend too. As every morning brings new things my way I find that my life has the drive and purpose I had a sincere thirst for all along. And as I face each race, each challenge, I know that at every turn and at every finish line there is a friend who loves me with open arms.

2001-03-07T22:08:00.000+08:00

JIM QUINN-- Triathlete My Goal My goal has always been to win an Olympic gold medal. When I was eight years old, I began my Olympic quest by going every evening after school to swim endless laps in a cold, murky 25-yard pool. Then one day during practice as my father watched me swim, my coach walked over to him and said, “he’ll never be a fast swimmer”. My father later told me about this, and I was determined to prove my coach wrong. I set out to beat everyone - every practice, every set, every race. The hard work paid off. By the age of twelve I was setting pool records and winning virtually every competition I entered. I continued my winning streak into high school, where I won our conference championship and received All–County, All–League, and All–Section honors, and then into college, where I received twelve All–American honors for my performances in the NCAA Championships, as well as Team Most Valuable Player. After graduating from Johns Hopkins University in 1993, I decided to channel my swimming energies into the sport of triathlon. By my second year in the sport, I qualified for a spot on the US National Team to compete at the 1994 World Triathlon Championship in Wellington, New Zealand. At this event, I placed seventh in the world and recorded a time for the 10-K run that was five seconds faster than that year’s World Champion. My Search for Happiness At a very young age I asked Jesus into my heart, and for years attended church regularly and tried to be a “good person”. But I basically lived my life without really knowing God and what He expected of me. I allowed my intuition, my ambitions and my desires to direct me through life. It was not until age 24, after having achieved many of life’s goals that I thought would bring me happiness - a good job on Wall Street, a diploma from one of the country’s best universities, twelve All–American swimming honors, and now rising success in the sport of triathlon - that I realized how empty I was. No level of success or recognition could satisfy this feeling of emptiness. Winning brought only temporary happiness, and when I lost, I was miserable. “Whoever loves money never has money enough, whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income.” (Ecclesiastes 5:10) My New Life in Christ My decision to recommit my life to the Lord brought tremendous happiness, strength and fulfillment. Now, I have true lasting happiness that can only be found in a personal relationship with God through His son Jesus. I am provided with constant strength from the one who created me in His image, who knows me better than I know myself, and who loves me more than I can possibly imagine. And I have fulfillment in knowing that the purpose for which I was created was to use the talents and abilities that He has given me for His glory. Each workout or competition is another exciting opportunity to experience Him at work in my life and to share Him with others. “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 1:31) My Source of Strength This does not mean that my life is free of challenges. For example, less than a week after placing first in my age division and second overall at the 1997 US National Triathlon Championship, I was involved in a biking accident and broke my right arm. Throughout this ordeal, however, God helped me to realize a new source of strength in Him. “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:11) He also helped me to realize the meaning behind my injury, that it was being used by God to develop and strengthen my character to be like that of His Son Jesus. “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (James 1:2) God gave me strength to endure the pain and setback of injury and to make a comeback less than three months later at the 1997 World Triathlon Championship in Perth, Australia, where I posted the fastest time among all Americans in my age division, and ninth overall. Accepting Christ By accepting Christ, you too can experience happiness, strength and fulfillment through Him. “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31)

2001-03-07T22:04:00.000+08:00

"Believe in yourself. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do that which you think you cannot do." *Eleanor Roosevelt {1884-1962 Political Activist & First Lady}

2001-03-07T21:51:00.000+08:00

One of the most inspiring stories I've ever read...the closest sport to my heart next to windsurfing...indeed, Jesus is the FIRST Surfer and Windsurfer who doesn't need a sail and/or board to walk on water. What a Saviour!!!! Check out http://www.thegoal.com/ for more... JOJO DE OLIVENCA I have always been fascinated by the sea. But I did not want to have anything to do with the Creator of the sea because I was ashamed of being a Christian. I thought I would become a nerd the very day I started living as a "bible nut". I thought I had to leave everything I loved behind like the girls, the parties and the crack and the marijuana. Everyday was the same for me. I was never satisfied. Any joy I had was short lived. Soon I was back into my old boring life again. My parents talked to me a lot about the gospel. That didn't ring a bell in me. I knew that there is a God but I had decided to think about Him only when I got old, very old! . . . One day, when I was already a professional surfer, I visited my brother. He was recovering from drug-addiction in a specialized Christian recovery center, called Teen Challenge, in the city of Feira de Santana (Eastern Brazil). When I got there I saw this bunch of people with a changed look on their faces, like they had joy and peace that might rub off on you at any minute! It was then that I got afraid of dying and go into eternity without God. I decided to turn my life over to Christ completely. I invited Him to come into my mind, my heart, my blood, everything! I got soaked in Jesus, man! I began reading the Bible and putting it into practice. But I thought, "Man, these people will forbid me to do a lot of things, like going around without a shirt on my back, or go to the beach . . .!" On the other hand, I had a clean conscience that surfing was in the will of God for me. As I meditated whether or not surfing was from God or not, He gave an instant answer: I became the Brazilian surf champion in 1988. I was a nobody, but God put me right up there! What a gift from my heavenly Father! Today, my pastor is all supportive of what I do. He accepts me and so do all the kids in my church. They pray for me as I enter every competition. I was addicted to drugs for eight years. I dabbled with marijuana, cocaine and I drank a lot. When I met Jesus and I found out that trusting in Him is the best thing in life, it was as if my eyes were opened. I realized that what I lived before was artificial, like a mask. Through Jesus, I took off my mask and became a real person. I was a poor kid. I surfed with cheap surf boards. My very first real surf board I got in a competition. But God gave the title champion! God made me, an ugly looking, skinny and melancholic kid, addicted to drugs, into a brand new person. He gave me a wonderful health, lots of physical energy, and a new light in my eyes. I was a slave to sex before, and God gave me real love. God gave me Adriana, a precious jewel, who became my wife. Christ makes all things fall into place in our lives. In all tournaments, God always gave me calm and patience. God blesses me but He doesn't do the surfing for me. I can't become a champion if I don't go out there and catch those waves. You know what I am saying? So I work hard at it, I give it the best I can. When the championship was held in Florianopolis, I had lost all hope of becoming the winner for the second time in a row. Other guys had scored more points that I did. The beginning of the competition was very hard. The sea was unstable and the waves weren't good either. Besides, the other guys were good at the game. In the finals, the scorers added all points and I discovered that I could become the champion for the second consecutive year if I came in second in the last round. I prayed to God, that if He had a purpose for me beyond my joy of becoming the champion a second time, then I was willing to win again. We had a few minutes left for the final go, and I even thought of asking other competitors to "give me a hand" - those who did not depend on results anymore. But God didn't allow that. I came second and got the championship! In the last round, I always try to put two things ahead of me: one is faith and the other is determination to win. The right wave comes at just the right time – this is all too frequent. God has a direct influence on my life, in all moments. At other times, however, other things may happen. For instance, in Ubatuba, at the Town & Country competition, I came into good waves. My board was not good but I was well positioned and I had lots of determination and faith. However something went wrong. Other times, everything goes smoothly, God sends nice waves my way, but I want to show off and then I fall. The difference between us, Christians, and those who aren't Christians is staggering! When surfing or doing anything else, we must always spread the good news about Jesus Christ, His plan of salvation and the love of God for humankind. The Bible says that "the mouth speaks of what it is full of." Therefore we must always spread that which is inside of us, the Word of God. Many people don't understand us and think that we are trying to promote ourselves on top of this image - but that has nothing to do with it. Certainly there are some hypocrites who call themselves Christians but who in fact are only wearing a mask. What we really want is to spread the love of God around to people, so that many people may have a personal encounter with Christ. I use to say that Jesus was the first surfer who didn't need a board to ride the waves. He walked on the water to save his friends who were in a boat and who were afraid of the storm at the sea. Today we ride the waves on our surfboards but as people inspired by Him.

2001-03-05T14:38:00.000+08:00

It's ALMOST a month already...time really flew much faster than I could imagine. I'm beginning to catch a glimpse of the revelation of BreakThroughs...overcoming and transcending the current limits into a higher level performance. The comfort zone is the most dangerous!!! It is where you stagnate, get complacent and stay UNCHALLENGED! Over time, you require lesser effort just to maintain the same level of performance just because one has grown familiar with the techniques. In order to break through into a higher ground, one must challenge the pain barrier...Herb Elliot, an Aussie who was unbeaten over the mile/1500, Olympic Champion and WR holder, once said that the objective is to move the pain barrier....and that he ran on fear! This quote was what my runner-friend shared with me. In addition, I was thoroughly inspired by what I read in the Runners' World newsletter: "Bad races are the result of giving in to natural urges: running fast when you feel fresh and slowing down when you start to hurt." -Joe Henderson How true and how magnificent...that which we hate to do is supposed to push us over the hurdle into a new plane. It's only when one feels the pain and exerts even more, gasp even more, feel more pain, hurt even more and keep the lungs burning. Coach always says to push thru' the pain barrier...keep pumping even though our forearms and body are burning with pain...once we push thru' that, we've broken thru' the limitations made through the confines of our bodies. I realise that for this to happen physically, the break through's gotta happen in our spirits and minds first. I could not help but think that what I'm going through is tough and I'm not up to it yet. That way, I would always feel fatigued and under the circumstances. I asked God for a breakthrough in my faith level...He said to go forth and take the land, that He's given me the land. What I did was hold high expectations for myself at my daily trainings which were unrealistic. I always aimed to come in first overall among the boys. This will be the best miracle since I always suffered the most doing the exact physical trainings as the boys. Water trainings will not be as discriminatory as land trainings. This whole week I've done well. Or so I thought. We had gusty wind conditions over the weekdays, shifty and puffs of gusts which can arm a sailor or handicap a sailor. We were able to plane most of the time and since I didn't have to pump as much, I did rather well, coming in 1st several times and others, 2nd and 3rd...mini races were the last items of a day's training. We would have done more than 2 hours of hard sailing: 4 sets of Starboard and Port tack each; sail for 4 min, focusing on stance (closing the gap and railing the board), tack and pump downwind. For this, we would have 8 times of upwind/downwind over about 1 Km each time. The second activity includes 800 pumps. We are required to do 100 upwind pumps on each tack, 4 sets in total and pumping downwind to start again. We would have done many tacks and gybes b4 we have our races which are considered quite huge for the race course. The third activity is to do a bow figure of Starboard/Port sailing for another 4 sets, focusing on speed tuning. By then, it would have been 4+ p.m. and I would have been bonked by then. We would be allowed our rehydration time on the sea, resting for 5 min b4 he starts the timing for the race. 2 sausages each. We would run 3 races each day. I learnt to look for gusts, when to tack into lifters and away from headers, point high through the waves. It was exciting for me since they are the conditions which I usually hate. But I take joy in spotting gusts and planing in them while others did not. Or pumping to plane on a broad reach while others and slowly scooping their sails. I am no doubt a better sailor now than 1 mth ago. At least I have the physical changes to prove it, in addition to the weight loss and toner muscles. The popping veins would prove the amount of pumping I had to do everyday. More importantly, I'm looking forward to shocking my foreign windsurfing friends with a whopping improvement, a lean, mean physique and a sharper attitude. Weekend races are a breeze for me now...since they make up only about 20% total effort of a normal weekday's hard work. I did relatively ok over the last 2 weekends. I sailed the correct course, no major mistakes for one wrong idea. I read the shifts fast and capitalised on them to gain over others who did not. Physically I was fresh though I was typically fatigued. We would be driving up to Penang, Malaysia for the Penang Regatta this coming weekends. I would be racing in the Mistral Men's class as there was no Open class (not to mention Ladies class). I wish I do not have to deal with such unnecessary problems as fighting for a Ladies class for me to race in. However, they exist and I have to compare myself with the boys. Good!!! The SEA Games trials would commence for 3 weeks from next week onwards. It'll be one month of packed racing, not to mention high-strung and as peaked as I possibly can! I need God's anointing and grace...Stay tuned for race results.

2001-03-02T23:38:00.000+08:00

Check out this article which our former Laser champ wrote abt Iain Percy. Iain Percy, Olympic Gold Medallist By Ben Tan 4 January 2001 Iain Percy instantaneously became one of Britain's great Olympic heroes when he ousted World Champion Fredrik Loof (Sweden) and defending Olympic Champion Mateusz Kusznierewicz (Poland) to clinch the Gold Medal in the Finn Class (sailing) of the recently concluded Sydney 2000 Olympics. His was one of three Golds won by Great Britain in the sailing events. The nation's impressive haul attracted the attention of sailors and administrators the world over, all of whom were scrambling to study the systematic and successful programme put in place by the Royal Yachting Association (RYA) more than four years ago. Yours sincerely was fortunate enough to get an insider's analysis of the British sailing programme when we met in Scotland recently. I knew Iain from years ago, during his Laser days. He made the switch to the Finn only two years ago, in 1998. At that time, Iain weighed in at 89kg, and he has since endowed himself with a full armour of muscles to reach a competitive weight of 98kg prior to the Olympics. "Five days a week of hard work at the gym!" was his answer when asked how he did it. The Finn, like the Laser, is a physically demanding single-handed boat except that the Finn requires a heavier frame because of its larger sail area. The 24-year old Economics graduate strongly believes that systematic training is the key to success. In the two years leading up the Olympics, Iain spent five days a week training with three other equally committed full-time Finn sailors. All were fully financed by the RYA so that every one of the four British Finn sailors could concentrate on sailing and improve as a group, providing quality sparring for one another. (In the Laser class, there were eight full-time sailors under the RYA.) Instead of simply travelling on the racing circuit throughout the season, the four spent a significant amount of time systematically training together in Hayling Island and learning from one another. The training was periodized to allow the sailors to peak at selected events only. Their able coach was there to organize the training sessions - setting the time and place, laying the marks, and conducting the drills. The technical stuff like sail tuning and the finer points of sailing technique, came not so much from the coach, but rather from the sparring partners, who obviously had first-hand experience at the highest competitive level. A typical training week comprised five days of sailing, five days of gym, and three days of endurance training (usually 90 minutes of cycling). Although Finn sailing is an individual sport, teamwork among sparring partners is crucial. Information is shared and not guarded selfishly. That way, the team's standard rises as a whole, and each team member then has a higher chance of beating other rivals at the regattas. But how does one keep the team training together after the Olympic trials, when only one sailor is selected to go to Sydney? "Simple," says Iain, "The RYA plans are long-term, and the sailors that aren't selected for the Olympics are sent to other big events instead of being dumped. That motivated them to continue sparring and pushing the winner of the selection trials, all the way to the Olympics." Behind his success was a team of excellent sport scientists. Iain added that their "full time physiologist for the whole sailing team was a great help. He provided strength and conditioning advice, like setting different target heart rates for cycling, rowing, and running. I had to avoid running because of the impact on the knees, so I did lots of cycling instead. Ben Ainslie [2000 Olympic Laser Gold Medallist] relied heavily on cycling as well. We all wore Polar® heart rate monitors. Our dietician was a part-timer, but that was all right since the physiologist knew quite a lot about supplementation. As the designated team physiotherapist could not be with each individual team member all the time, she arranged a network of physiotherapists and sports masseuse around the country to see to our needs. We were all issued vouchers which where accepted by this network of specialists." Did this master of heavy seas and downwind sailing receive any financial rewards for winning the Gold? "No, there are no financial rewards for winning. What we get are indirect benefits like endorsements, invitations to give talks and run sailing clinics, and opportunities to sail big boats [where the money is]," answers Iain, who is now the CEO of a coaching company called Competitive Sailing. The motivation to win comes from within - not from financial gains, as exemplified by great fellow Laser sailors like Iain Percy and Ben Ainslie. They are the ones who make me proud of being a Laser sailor.

2001-03-02T23:35:00.000+08:00

An article from The Straits Times last Friday...it was on a seminar which I attended on Thursday afternoon. Guess what? I had a go at touching Iain Percy's Olympic Gold medal... SAILING $1m does not buy a gold medal But available funds can be used to help athletes excel in their sport By Chan Tse Chueen FACT: Financial support is critical in bringing about sporting success. But should it come before or after the success? Long-term investment and support allowed Iain Percy to win an Olympic gold at Sydney 2000. -- ALLSPORT Singapore offers athletes a monetary reward scheme that is more lucrative than most countries: Win an Olympic gold medal and earn $1 million. So, when Olympic sailing champion Iain Percy showed his gold medal to a group of awed student-sailors from St Hilda's Secondary School on Wednesday, he was asked immediately: 'Did you also get $1 million?' Percy, one of three Britons to strike gold at last year's Sydney Games, was puzzled. When the scheme was explained to him, the 25-year-old told Timesport it has no parallel in Britain. He also noted: 'You should give it before, not after. I won't need to be given this afterwards. I don't mind, obviously. 'But it's like saying get to the destination without any petrol in the car. When you get there, we'll give you all the petrol you want.' Discussion with SingaporeSailing on joint initiatives is what brings Percy to Singapore. -- ABDUL AZIZ HUSSIN Percy, who has started a coaching company called Competitive Sailing, is in town to discuss possible collaborations with SingaporeSailing. He also shared his country's formula for Olympic success with about 60 parents, sailors and officials at the National Stadium yesterday. A heavy financial commitment is the cornerstone of British success. According to the Finn-class champion, about US$60 million (S$105 million) was spent on elite performers in all sports in a single year, largely paid for by the national lottery. In sailing, the sum was about US$4.2 million. He estimated that each elite sailor used about 55,000 (S$139,700) per year. SingaporeSailing president Low Teo Ping puts the figure at no more than $40,000 in Singapore. A national athlete can also receive a training grant from the Singapore Sports Council, capped at $8,000, Low added. The total SingaporeSailing budget, including administration and broad base development, is under $1 million. The difference is reflected in the results. Britain's 2000 Olympic haul was 11 gold medals, 28 in total. Sailing accounted for five - three golds and two silvers. The Republic is still awaiting its first medal since weightlifter Tan Howe Liang's silver at the 1960 Rome Olympics. Percy, an economics graduate from Bristol University, is convinced the medals were the result of high and well-thought out investment plan. Monetary incentive will have little impact, he added. Singapore's former Asian Games champions Ben Tan and Siew Shaw Her agree that money is not the prime motivator. Tan, who collected $250,000 for his Asiad Laser gold in 1994, said: 'I think the incentive has a role to play. But I agree with Iain that it is not balanced. The financial investment should be the more important. Then, if you win, you get a small sum, rather than the other way round.' Siew, a 420 champion with crew Colin Ng, also collected $250,000 - his share of the $500,000 team award. He feels athletes must be driven by passion, and passion alone. He recalled: 'The first time they introduced the scheme in the 1991 Manila SEA Games, it created a distraction. 'I felt the media sensationalised it and everyone just wanted to talk about the money. I felt like the years I put in were not important.' Perhaps the huge financial pay-out here was necessary because of the perceived substantial sacrifices an athlete has to make. But will the sacrifices be so severe if the system were to be more supportive? Percy, who took two years off after his graduation to train full-time for the Olympics, said: 'The favourite question I am asked is what kind of sacrifices I have made. I don't feel I have lost out in any way, except maybe time spent with family. 'The support we had is not going to make you rich, but it won't bankrupt you.

2001-02-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

From a motivation email I received today...When you almost want to give up, that's the time to PRESS ON!!! Check out Michael Chang's website http://www.mchang.com "If you can dream it, you can do it." ~ Walt Disney You can, but few ever do. Why? Well, it is simple: We can all dream big (or small steps), but most people stop at the dreaming part and never take action. Why you ask? Again simple: Fear - we're all scared to move out of our comfort zone. The difference is, that people that live out their dreams like Walt Disney get scared and still take action and lots of it! End of story ... You likely already know this theory, but don't live it out - that can be the hard part. What I know personally is that my success is based mostly (90%) on my ability to take action and get past the things that terrify me. Yes, my success to date is based on my ability to do the things I'd rather not, or would rather run from - fast. After gaining the experience and confidence from overcoming 20 major fears, taking action out of my comfort zone is much, much, much easier. Why? Well, because I've been down the road so many times before that I know what to expect: 1. Feeling of extreme stress and physical discomfort. 2. Development of self-doubt and temptation to retreat or avoid the fear. 3. Decision to commit 100% to pushing through the fear. 4. Take action. 5. Stress decrease and feeling of confidence. 6. Pushed through, got a result, and feel empowered and adding another level of confidence. 7. Thinking that was not as bad as I built it up to be.

2001-02-26T20:35:00.000+08:00

It's been almost 3 weeks of full-time training and it already feels like ages has gone by. Much has changed since...let's begin from the Bio-data. I've lost 3-4 kgs ever since I embarked on the f/t training program. My sister marvelled at how 'effective' my coach's 'weight-loss' program was as she asked me what are the exercises I do everyday. Perhaps Coach may diversify his business into the health & weight-loss sector. I'm sure he'll do marvellously. I'm stuck in a stage of chronic fatigue at the moment. My body is trying hard to transcend the current stage of fitness into a higher level. I fell ill twice in the last 2 weeks. Propelling myself to train from just 2x a week to 6x a week would perhaps jump-start my body into rejection and immune-system shock. I have, however, only 2 weeks to peak for the trials. As much as I'm trusting God for supernatural intervention and blessing, I'm impatient for myself to reach a higher level of skills. For others who have been training full-time for the last 3 and half months, the results are manifesting NOW...I cannot afford that long a time...I have only 3 weeks. I need tremendous amount of grace for this miracle. My trainings begin from morning, say around 10+ a.m. where I'll be doing sets of exercises. Everyday's different so I cannot pinpoint what I do. Just on friday, coach rode on bicycle beside me while I'm running. It was a 4km run and he made sure I stick to the speed which he deems acceptable...he would scowl if my pace dropped and encourage me if I'm running fine. One time, he even said "the SEA Games Gold medal is just ahead...PRESS ON!!" and that would propel me into a sprint for the mark. ahaha...He kept urging me to hang in there and push it when it's the most painful!!!! I hate that feeling!! It's a cross between suicide and hallucination. The pain is so excruciating that I don't even have the mental energy to think to myself 'what am I doing here?' ahaha... After land training, I would be so dazed from the fatigue, most of the time entertaining stars in my vision and feeling nauseous. I would grab my cushion and lie there till I regain my sanity. The wonderful thing is, he will never let me laze on my exercises. Not if I drop the weights on my floor and flooding the place with my torrents of sweat, grimacing in the purest of pain and veins threatening to explode. He makes sure I finish the sets and the reps. These will, without fail, leave me with no appetite for lunch or any food for that matter. I would then have to force myself to gorge the food which I brought from home, distracting myself by reading some windsurfing materials. In less than an hour's time, I would be rigging up my equipment and out on water. Contrary to the beach-bum impression, training life is pretty hectic. I don't get to go around entertaining friends, speak to other bums and build sandcastles. Then it's another 4 hrs of pure pain out on the sea. He even forbids me to bring out Camelbak for rehydration to emulate race conditions. Again, he wants me to pump, pump, pump the sail...and when I feel all the pain, I'm supposed to press on through the threshold!! Don't ask me if I find the sun too glaring or too hot... I don't have the time to think about such trivials when I'm out there. I'm discovering that the life of a professional windsurfer is much of pain and more pain...ahahaha...and I'm somewhat addicted to it! Sunday's training: My fatigue has manifested. I have somewhat forgotten how to race...getting into a nervous wreck and forgetting all that I've trained for and learnt in the past 3 wks. All the full-time sailors have gotten into this trap of wrongfully performing and crashing out when it really matters. The underdogs just ate us up like bread. I must be able to separate in my mind what is pressure, ambition and desire. To deliver that which matters at the right time. It's another cycle of 6-days of training beginning from tomorrow...grace grace...

2001-02-12T17:36:00.000+08:00

It's my first rest day today and I'm in my sister's home playing with the lovely children. I've had 4 days of professional windsurfing and I have to admit I'm in pain, aching real badly and thoroughly bonked out! Each day's routine lasts from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. from Tuesdays to Sundays, Mondays being off days. We would begin each day with land trainings that is progressive and periodical. The first day of training included 200 squats, 120 bench pulls (20 kg), 140 sit-ups, 140 back extensions and 2 min hand grip on the pull-up bar. After a short nap and lunch, we went out to sea. The training prescription differs every day as we want the individual muscles to recover. I had my breakthrough y'day though and I have to say I'm more elated than I can describe. There were about 10 guys, plus me out at sea. We had constant winds of 17-20 knots and quite constant gusts on the upwinds at 25 knots for about 2 legs. We sailed huge courses, triangling among Tanah, Keta aand Padang. We ran about 4 races and by 5 p.m., all of us were whipped to pulp. I had my breakthrough in the 25 knots upwinds, sailing steadily and holding my board speed equal to Meng, who was on a raceboard 380. Even coach went "Well done!" after we reached the buoy. I had set my sail rigging according to Masako's and it worked miracles. I was hanging on to my dear life as the gusts threaten to overturn my board and catapult me. Though my veins felt like exploding, I told myself "Never give up, hang on!" and steadied the powerful gusts with the big waves. By the 3 race's upwind, my harness had torn on my butt. Wow! That $100+++ worth of harness is gone in one strong wind...it's either the harness or my back and I'm glad it's the harness. I've never sailed so well in terms of speed and angle before in 25 knots before. I seem to have caught a glimpse of the strong wind technique...I'll never fear it again, neither the huge winds expected at 2002 Asian Games. I must take care not to lose too much weight as it'll disadvantage me in winds from 25 knots to 30 knots. When wind is above 25 knots, your board that is placed on the beach starts to fly. Hope it helps your imagination. The FIGHT is tremendous, as you are pulling your sail with every ounce of your strength and bodyweight, making you realise how mighty nature is. With wings we fly, with guts we try! In the downwind legs, my speed was horrendous. I did not dare to release my outhaul for fear that I would be overpowered. I would do that the next time and ride mightily on the waves. Right now, my feet are laden with long cuts and blistered skin on my toes. My quads are totally sore and I'm on a journey to discover whether Deep Heat Rub, Tiger or plasters are the best solutions for muscle aches. Gosh...a whole new phase begins tomorrow once again. I anticipate sprints, more torture and more water-time. Stay Tuned!

2001-01-22T18:16:00.000+08:00

By now, the key organization hates me...ahaha...for having not followed PROPER PROCEDURES, taking matters into my own hands, and propagating this issue beyond s'pore (only UK, ISR, JPN, IND & HK only wat...ahaha). I was sorry to get some guys into trouble as it was all my own hyper-enthusiasm at fault. Some people are just their usual paranoid, control freak selves which perceived my actions as another of the certain-sailor's saga. All I wanted was to fight for the ladies class & get it back by any/all means. After that, I also got some nasty comments from a couple of sailors to say I claimed credit and staked my berth in SEA Games. I had no qualms about knuckling down on those hard, gently as I possibly can! I am so glad that this struggle came abt coz more of His glory is manifested. To be one of the 2 classes accepted among 39 appeals, i think it's a miracle and MUCH MORE. It's abt 5% winning chance. I was glad to have gone thru' this battle as I surprised myself with the hunger that I never knew I ever had inside. I had answered every single question that could possibly confront an athlete...why i'm doing this, for wat, for who...wat if's...the answers I hope would be strong enuf to see me thru' the toughest times. To properly put this, it's certainly a refnining fire for me...to burn off impurities, sieve every fear, obstacle and disbelief in my spirit. It has left me stronger, focused and all-ready to pounce on anything that would challenge my God. My spirit and mind has taken a higher dimension of faith and intimacy with JESUS... in the same token, I feel that I cannot compromise a non-believer for a partner as the level of understanding is only at the tip of the iceberg. Coach's training is tough!!! He had to give me a 30% discount as I almost vomitted and felt faint after doing 2 sets. One of the horrible ex includes hanging on a pull-up bar for 2 mins, at least 3 sets. It's to make yr forearms BURN literally (simulate pumping intensity in races). They did BURN... i would slip down several times, when my fingers & fingertips could not hold on anymore, tightening every single muscle I can find on my shoulders & back....to have to jump back up again to finish the 2 min. After that, I felt like the veins were all gonna burst or go short-circuit. Of coz, my much-hated fartleks were part of it...thank God it wasn't a great problem as I had been a middle-distance runner for many years. After I forced myself to gobble down my lunch, we went out for water trainings in good winds. With storms impending, and gusts settling to more constant puffs, we enjoyed the chops, puffs of gusts and seeing so many sails out in the sea. It's always good to have sailors in addition to the National Team sailors, which is the case most of the time. We had good gusts that hit me and man, when you feel like giving up the sport, one good feeling can bring you back with full passion. The speed and adrenalin-rush was more than resuscitating. The chops added in to the element of control and height. I had to pull my downhaul tight as the stronger gusts force me to open up my sail to depower. Coach sailed with us in the good winds and demonstrated a jump when he successfully caught a wave and cut off the lip nicely Ooooh...I went...trying hard to scream like bimbos do. Then he did several more lay-downs NEAR successfully. Scream I did...ahahaha...it means so much to have a higher standard to follow...which explains why HK, Japan and many other countries could do well. We had to do sausage courses and for the first 2 races, I was still desperately trying to recover from the tremendous fatigue I sustained since morning. I sailed in last, cruising through in pain. Then voila, in the 3rd and second last race, I zipped past everyone to come in 1st overall in the fleet. aha!! One of my rare hat-tricks again and Coach gave me a thumbs-up as he finished 3 places behind me. I had happened to catch a good start, followed all the wind shifts, sailed in all the gusts and had perfect board speed. At one point, Jon and I were neck to neck and he was upwind of me and following me less than half a metre away...and I maintained my angle, kept my speed and eventually sped off ahead of him, pulling away more and more. Somehow, he lost his angle and reached the upwind mark some 5 board-lengths away from me. Fluke you can call it...but I've tasted winning races and I'm addicted to this taste. The last race saw the storms coming and winds shifting drastically. We headed back to the club to have another short session of planing...there, I tested my upwind planing speeds and stance. Felt really good...TILL I woke up this morning to a totally aching body and saturated brain. Boy, am I still walking with a wobble and a twist...at 7 p.m. we are going to have a reunion dinner with most sailors in the windsurfing team, to play family to Coach Q. Can't wait to be there...to say we are not united is a lie...Happy Lunar New Year, everyone!!!

2001-01-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

17 Jan 2001 THE STAR Malaysian Newspapers: SEA Games No more appeals as KL SEA Games panel shut the doors KUALA LUMPUR: Two additional events--the women's mistral one boardsailing, lightweight, in yachting and the women's up to 69kg category in weightlifting--have been included to the Kuala Lumpur SEA Games' programme. They were included in the Games following appeals made by Indonesia and Myanmar at the SEA Games Federation (SGF) meeting last Saturday. The addition of the two events takes the number of gold medals at stake in the 32-sport Games, which will be held from Sept 8-17, to 390. Youth and Sports Minister Datuk Hishammuddin Hussein said that they would not entertain requests for any more events. "This is final. There is no room for the inclusion of further events in the Games,'' said Hishammuddin after the SEA Games organising committee's board meeting at his office yesterday. He added that the sports associations had major roles to play in ensuring the success and smooth-running of the Games. "We need the assistance of all parties concerned, including sports associations, to make the Games a successful one,'' said Hishammuddin. Meanwhile, a decision will be made next week on the venue of the shooting competitions. The two venues shortlisted are the Subang Shooting Range and the Langkawi International Shooting Range.

2001-01-18T11:01:00.000+08:00

Ask me if God is real in my life & I'll say "Check out the News below" & tell me if God doesn't open the Red Sea today?!!!!! A miracle of miracles....a blessing of blessings & grace of all grace! I'm so overwhelmed! Just as He was telling me the night before "Stand still and see the salvation of God" and that "Without faith it is impossible to please God" I stood firmly on the grace ground, believing hard & resting hard on His promise. It came to pass, just as He told me! This is my God...who never wavers and changes!!! Only two extra events for KL SEA Games KUALA LUMPUR - The decision of the South-east Asia Games organising committee yesterday to include only two additional medal events in this year's SEA Games has brought a host of reactions. Some were happy, some were sad and some were nonchalant about the decision. According to Bernama, only two events out of the 39 requested - one each in yachting and weightlifting - were approved for inclusion in the Kuala Lumpur Games. The two events are the women's Mistral One boardsailing (yachting) and women's weightlifting (up to 69kg). An elated Low Teo Ping, SingaporeSailing president, said: 'We have a couple of women sailors, Toh Lee Ching and Rachel Ng, training full-time with the hope that there would be a women's category. 'Now, that has come true and we are very happy. 'With our Chinese coach Qian Hong on board with us, we have good chances for medals. It's only a question of colour. 'Hopefully, when it's nearer the date, we can tell you the colour of the medal.' In contrast, the Singapore Bodybuilders' Federation, which had been eager and ready to send athletes to compete for eight gold medals, was disappointed that the sport's appeal was turned down. The weightlifting fraternity, on the other hand, was nonchalant about the inclusion of an additional medal event. Said Tom Liaw, pro tem president of the Singapore Weightlifting Federation: 'We have not decided on sending any women lifters, so it does not really affect us. 'Anyway, the lifters have to be prepared and ready to compete at the SEA Games level, otherwise it would be pointless to send them there.' Youth and Sports Minister Datuk Hishammuddin Tun Hussein, chairman of the organising committee, said: 'We approved only these two events after considering the time constraints. 'Today's decision is final.' He added that the decision was taken after considering various factors such as the Malaysian athletes' chances of winning medals, as well as organising costs and preparation. He said: 'As it is rather late, I think our decision to accept only two additional events is already fair to all.' But try telling that to Paul Chua, president of the SBBF. He said yesterday: 'I'm disappointed. 'I believe Singapore has lost a chance to win a few gold medals, because we have been winning things in the region. 'But the Singapore National Olympic Council did its best and we are not going to cry over it. 'We are looking at better horizons such as the Asian Games next year, which is our main target.' With the inclusion of the two events, the Kuala Lumpur SEA Games from Sept 8-17 will have 390 events in 32 sports.

2001-01-11T16:01:00.000+08:00

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2001-01-11T16:00:00.000+08:00

So much has happened! My life has been thrown a curve and set me on a roller-coaster high and low all at the same moment. I must have experienced the widest myriad of emotions in these few days as good and bad news hit me right in the face in continuity. On Monday morning, I received a call from my coach that the latest Notice of Race fax for the 2001 SEA Games has excluded the Ladies category from the Sailing classes. My heart skipped a beat and I experienced a numbness which put me into instant denial of factual information. However, I refused to receive that as final and set about on a short intense journey of appeal. I did my homework and straightaway rallied all the Important people in the International Olympic Council to lend a voice to this thoroughly sexual discriminating tragedy. This inclusion of the Ladies class has always been a see-saw discussion due to several factors: 1) Malaysia, does not have any lady windsurfers hence does not want to include a category they cannot win a medal in. 2) Malaysia, being a Muslim state, does not put equality on Ladies events. Many of the sports categories do not have ladies categories only until recently when under foreign attack. Up to 2-3 mths ago, it was a tentative arrangement that there will be a Mistral Men's (open) and Mistral Ladies in the 2001 SEA Games like the Olympics. However, the latest fax we received yesterday indicated Mistral Lightweight (Open) and Heavyweight (Open). Never before in SEA Games history do we have such weird combinations and not to mention the exclusion of the Ladies category. We always had the 5 categories Mistral Men's Lightweight, Heavyweight, Men's Raceboard Lightweight and Heavyweight and Ladies for the last 3-4 SEA Games. However, this time, we only have 2 categories and the Olympic Games Ladies category is not included! Of course, this runs contrary to what Olympic windsurfing has been promoting. I remember clearly on the 31 Dec 2000 afternoon at the National Sailing Center in Singapore that Lee Lai Shan was telling me that any event held under the International Olympic Council umbrella must include as a basic, the Olympic Games categories (in this case, Men's & Ladies). I've checked the IOC website and saw that 2001 SEA Games is organised as a IOC & ISAF event (http://www.ioc.org.my). Lee Lai Shan was telling me should this situation happen, I can write to IOC and complain. I'm angry that the MISTRAL ladies class is considered NOT important and not worthy to be in such a major Games. The last thing I want to accept is this fact! It is a major insult to all ladies windsurfers who have committed themselves to such a cause only to find themselves in a Sexual Discriminatory discussion. I can't help but see this form of sexual discrimination as an issue larger than just a category issue. The best part of this issue is that ALL other sailing classes (Optimist, Laser, 420, 470) all have Ladies classes except for MISTRAL. I don't understand why. They even had the 420 Ladies & Laser Radial for Ladies which were not even in the Olympic Games!! I don't see why MISTRAL WOMEN can be less important than the Laser Radial and 420. I have quit my job in the hope that I can train full-time for Asian races and later, European races, but if countries (especially Muslim countries) are excluding Ladies, what can I fight for? I wrote emails to Rory Ramsden, Head of IMCO International, Aaron Botzer (Olympics International Jury), Lee Lai Shan, and many other key people all over the world. I appealed to them to rally their support for SEA Ladies windsurfers. While I've done all I possibly could in my limited capacity, I sought God for words of comfort and miracles. All my life God has always been faithful and showing Himself to be more than that recently. When there was initially not yet a Ladies class, He gave me a word "The hearts of kings are in His Hands, HE turns it wherever He wishes." He also taught me to "Hold fast to the confession of your faith". I hung on to that word and confessed & believed hard enough to see it coming to pass. The next notice came with the inclusion of the Ladies class. I was more than elated. I was filled with an overflowing revelation of God's grace and mercy, love and power. Then the next challenge came when I came to know that my buddy was going full-time. I was shattered as it seems now that I could lose the fight to something as irrelevant as 'unpaid leave'. I cried out to God! HE heard me and gave me another Word which today, I saw it come to pass yet again!! He told me that just as He multiplied the 5 loaves and 2 fishes, He has the power to MULTIPLY the little training I have. Trust Him and it'll manifest. Today, I can testify that it has come to pass. After 2 months of weekend training (twice a week) while my buddy does full-time training 6 days a week, my results are on par with her. I lost Singapore Open to her by a sheer one point. I lost Tudor International to her even though we had the same points but it was on a countback default that she gained the edge. Coach however reassured me that our standards are on the same level and if I train full-time, I would be able to improve at a much faster rate. Today, I'm standing here seeing yet another miracle. He showed me in the BIBLE last night as I came to Him in faith and desperation. He showed me Exodus 18 "Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord." My bookmark dropped out from my Kenneth Copeland daily devotions book which shouted the verse from Psalm 40: "Be still and know that I am God" I broke down in tears!! Surely, I feel like I'm on the edge of the Red Sea and the Egyptian armies are hot on my heels. I have nowhere to go and no way of escape. I've quit my job and have no idea that I have to face this ultimatum. Yet I know that since I've done everything possible within my means, I'm gonna be still and know that He is God and He will work miracles now. I just need to stand still and keep hanging on strong to the confession of my faith. This morning when I stepped into my office, I received emails from Rory Ramsden to the President of Singapore National Olympic Council, Malaysian Yachting Association President, and many other key people involved in this issue. He requested for a redress in this most regrettable issue which the International Olympic Council disapproves since they have been promoting women's sports to be included in the Olympics. I cried as I read through the mail. I could see God's fingerprints all over the place. i know deep in my heart that all will be well...If God be for me, who can be against me?

2001-01-04T15:18:00.000+08:00

Singapore Open Windsurfing Championships 2001!!!! This must be the highlight of the race season with Lee Lai Shan (1996 Atlanta Olympic Gold medallist) gracing the event and eventually winning it. Held over freaky wind conditions and super-strong currents, the top sailors are still the top sailors as the results remain predictable. I've concluded that whatever the wind condition, however heavy the sailor is, results still boil down to the sailor, the sailor, the sailor. The Men's category was won by SEA Games Gold medallist (many times) Phanuthat Ruamsap, followed by Ho Chi Ho and Oka Sulaksana. The Women's class was dominated by the Olympic sailors Lee Lai Shan (5th in Sydney Olympics) who did not have a close rival apart from Masako Imai (Japan-10th in Sydney Olympics) and Yasuko Kosuge (Japan). Personally, it was a win-lose battle and love-hate sentiment. I was leading the Local Ladies up till the very last (7th) race where I lost the lead by one point. Thereafter, I waited hopefully on the 5th day of race, planning to launch a counter-attack with a strategic game plan and renewed energy. The wind did not come and there was not a single race held that day. I can't quite describe the pain...i was sorta on the verge of relief and helplessness. I had to search within myself to find a reason to make up for the sense of illogical loss. I decided that that day's chat with San san was worth the local win. She selflessly imparted precious attitude pointers, strategy advice and directional encouragement. She holds such a humility totally undeserved of an Olympic Champion. For the first time, I had a pro sailor asking me more questions than I asking them. In the process, I shared with her my dreams, goals and hopes in sheer honesty and deep sincerity. Her words had an impact enough to send in my resignation letter the first day I came in to work. Amazing?! For someone who's been there, done it and achieved it, this first step I'm taking is truly the baby step to bigger things. She told me that her goal was not just a personal ambition but rather, a reflection of a larger ambition for her country. She wants Hong Kongers to know that sports can be a career and that Asian windsurfers can make it in the world levels. It is time that we dare to step out and do what we truly believe in. Even if it means going against what society thinks, even if it means defying your logic and that trained system of decision-making. Dare yourself to live your dream because we hold responsible at the end of our lives our fulfilment level. If you dare to accept those 'what-ifs' and 'I-should-haves', then be mediocre. If not, ask God for faith and courage to pursue your call...He'll not call you to failure and if He did call you, He will sponsor you! He shall never allow the righteous to stumble and fall if He will even take care of the lilies in the fields.

2000-12-18T19:00:00.000+08:00

I forgot this webby is primarily on windsurfing trainings...I'm so tempted to pen just spontaneous thoughts than note down technical details of every race. We did not have water training on Saturday as there was 0 wind. We had our surprise physical fitness test instead, which I felt, was simply no better than a normal day's training. We were tested on 6 events and my results are as below: 1) Pull-ups (max no. possible) = 4 2) Sit-ups (max no. possible in 2 mins flat) = 73 3) Back Extension (max no. possible in 2 mins flat) = 95 4) Bench Pull (Max weight, 1 rep) = 40 kg 5) Bench Pull (20 kgs, max reps possible, no time restriction) = 39 6) 5.3 km run (fastest timing possible) = 30.16 min Ok...my run is the worst event of all...in the team as well. That goes to show why there r much fats on my body and how much time I have on my hands to run...I tend to lose out to my buddy on events that require time to train or practice technique, in particular (5) & (6). I won the 4 other items hands down. We did the run on Sunday morning, followed by 3 hrs of water-training. The aches have not spared me even as I'm sitting here comfortably. From the physical fitness test results, I'm fully convinced that my 'smart' trainings have shown results. I hope this does not sound boastful as I really am not intending it to be so. An athlete who has limited time and energy, with a full-time job has no other option but to devise smart training methods as well as to know opponents' weakneseses. For me, it's easy because I have only one opponent in theory. I had noted down my variables which can be improved with time and constants which cannot be changed (e.g. personality or ingrained weaknesses). I had focused on those variables and improved on them and trusted in God for the constants to change me inside out. Both had worked. Worse thing was, I had gone thru' this test at one of my lowest fitness seasons, not to mention the rough day at work on Friday. I know I could have a lot better, esp the pull-ups & the run. Water-training: 4-6 knots; easterly strong current; easterly wind; cloudy Race 1: I had fought for an ok start, front-line getting clear wind, ok pumping speed. The shorter the start line, the less it matters whether you start at boat-end or port end. Just aim for clear wind and be on front line. I charged out, pumped real hard only to have Jon tack right in front of me. I shouted starboard but he stayed put, saying he doesn't know the race started. Ok...tough luck on me...I tried my best not to fall, jammed my board into his feet (ouch! I couldn't help it...), quickly tacked, and tried to gain lost grounds. I lost much grounds in this collision. Jon & I were the last of the fleet to untangle and chase the rest. I played the middle ground, felt out wind shifts, focused on my boardspeed and reached the upwind mark at a decent position. Many had played extremes and suffered. The wind is very shifty and that is a no-no, as much as the gains can be big, the losses can choke u too. In a race, consistency is the key! My downwind speed and pumping was decent too...I pumped hard, rode on the waves and I beat my buddy half a leg. When the wind is shifty, it's as important to gybe in the downwind as you don't want to be in a lifter. You want to be in a header as it will bring you closer to the mark. I definitely do not have the better sailing fitness so I just tried my best to play smart. Race 2: Same conditions...My BEST race in a few weeks. Good start and clear wind, I played out wind shifts and the test of a sailor's tactics is at the last tack to upwind mark. My buddy was actually ahead of me though at a bigger angle but further ahead. I figured the strong current will push me to the mark fast so I underlayed A LOT. I jammed straight to the mark & i even had to bear down a little. Then I knew that I could have underlayed 10 degrees more. Argghhh! But by then, my buddy who has devised a beautiful rhumb line to the mark had overlayed TOO MUCH coz the current pushed her down even much more. I was the 3rd sailor in the fleet of 9-10 sailors to round the upwind buoy. I continued my downwind mission with much gusto which could not outdo the boys. I lost out 2 positions to finish 5th overall. Not too bad...when usually I would fight super hard to get a good bottom position among the boys. ahaha... Race 3: Wind is more shifty and current is stronger than in previous races. We had at least 4 General Recalls and it was tiring waiting, looking, standing there, pumping across the line only to return to start all over again. Everyone was just drifting uncontrollably over the start line and I grazed my board against the Bedok beacon a couple of times. In addition, I had a terrible start and it spoiled my momentum throughout the rest of the race. I caught all the wrong shifts and ended up in headers most of the time. i was getting tired and did not bother to chase up. I gave up the whole race. Race 4: Same as above. Start was bad considering the super short start line and strong current. The fatigue had taken its toll on me and I was just waiting to go back to shore. This should not be the attitude of a good sailor, I must say. Everyone was tired and only Andrew was pumping. The rest were deadened, only I was more deadended I suppose. We didn't cross the finish line and headed straight to shore. I 'finished' beside my buddy who also, like all of us, sailed back to the club, which is a long long way away. How I looked longingly at the powerboat and wished I can be on it. Then it as home sweet home to my 24 inch pooh-pooh...not to mention a pooh cushy given to me by a Hot Chick. aha!

2000-12-16T09:35:00.000+08:00

Today's ST...great news!!! Check out the fact that Sailing is the only sport that PM Goh gave his charge of winning a medal at 2008 Olympics. SAILING Banker Low will be 'fully at sea' soon By Marc Lim Sailing body chief to boost the sport after retirement LOW Teo Ping, president of SingaporeSailing, will be retiring from his job as managing director with Swiss bank UBS AG at the end of the month. Although there are many who expect the 55-year-old to ease into the quiet life of retirement, he insists that although he will be retiring from his bank job, he is far from retiring from sports. 'This is my third attempt at retirement and I am glad to say that I am finally successful,' said Low, who has been working in the banking industry for over 30 years. 'It will give me a chance to be led by my heart and not by my head. This will be an opportune time for me to pursue my other interests outside of the banking arena.' Low, who was appointed SingaporeSailing's president last June, will then be able to devote more time to sailing, as well as his other responsibilities. SingaporeSailing will take up to five days of the week, more than double of the time he puts in now. He is also a board member of the Singapore Sports Council, an executive council member of the International Sailing Federation and vice-president of the Automobile Association of Singapore. The extra time that Low has will allow him to guide SingaporeSailing to the next level in its bid to accomplishing its goals, one of which is to win a medal at the 2008 Olympics. And he wants to do it in the best way he knows how. 'SingaporeSailing needs to be very professional and business-like if we want to do well, so I plan to run it the way same I ran the bank,' said Low. 'We will continue to do our business as usual, competing at the highest standards in our region, but we will also embark on some R&D, which if successful, will bring us medals in the 2008 Olympics.' One way Low aims to increase the Republic's chances of an Olympic medal in sailing is to expand the broadbase development of sailors by working closely with the schools and sailing clubs and ensuring that there is continuity among the sailors. The adoption-and-linkage scheme is a programme SingaporeSailing has put in place to help tap the large group of sailors at the Optimist level, which average about 100 to 150 boats. Sailors can sail only in the optimist fleet from the age of seven to 15. With the aid of the adoption-and-linkage scheme, these sailors will either be linked to different classes of boats because of interest or other classes can talent-spot these sailors and adopt them. Other ways that Low intends to professionalise SingaporeSailing is by appointing a CEO to oversee the organisation and help strategise its efforts of achieving its goals. He also plans to implement a bonus scheme to spur the athletes and coaches to greater heights, much like that in a corporation. Likening SingaporeSailing to a pre-IPO company, he estimates that it will take about two years for the organisation to be in full gear. Till then it will be business as usual. Bigger and better A 69 per cent increase in participation, based on registration for next year's National Schools' Sailing Championships. The setting up of two additional fleets, bringing the total to seven, to ensure continuity and transition (in accordance with the adoption-and-linkage scheme).

2000-12-15T12:53:00.000+08:00

An article that was among my emails. A good, motivating read. Choose Attitude! While I was out training last week with the famous Surfers Paradise Triathlon Club lead by the great Jenny Alcorn (World Champion Duathlete 1992), the thought came to me to write this article on an issue that may ruffle some feathers amongst our readers! As an age group athlete (and my age group just went up!), and someone who is now reasonably content to train for fun and fitness with a more mature outlook on sport (still competitive but not compulsive, wise enough to know when to stop, when to rest and when to sleep in - all the things that I did not do in my sporting infancy), I have observed attitude in athletes. Attitude is that steely determination, that terrier quality, the tenacity to continue through think and thin which sets some athletes apart from others. I have also observed the athlete who cuts corners, takes the short route, needs constant pushing from the coach or others, complains all the time, or always has an excuse for the underperformance. I have seen some of the most gifted athletes very short on attitude. They never make it very far in their sport. Some of the best athletes have fewer gifts and more attitude. It is my belief that even if you are the most gifted athlete in the world, without attitude, your gift will amount to very little. The big question then becomes, how do we get attitude if we do not have it? First, we have to want to get an attitude - badly - enough to upset a few of your friends and family, who will be disturbed by the change in you. Then you have to get out of bed, make your bed, clean up your life, do what you say you will do, and drop all words and thoughts of can't, won't and don't want to from your vocabulary, and in all areas of your life. Low attitude is a kind of general malaise - it spreads through us like a cancer to our home, work, thoughts about ourselves, and our sporting activities. One of the biggest myths espoused today is life should be this wonderful comfortable place where everything is perfect and we never have to do anything that makes us feel uncomfortable, or that we do not like. I have noticed this is my 10-year-old daughter. Our greatest growth often comes from the areas that we are most uncomfortable in. I contend, why not embrace the discomfort, because if we try to avoid it, one way or another, it will come to us. (Have you noticed this? Life happens.) People who achieve great things are renowned for having given up much on their path to greatness. Susie O'Neill and other professional swimmers (to name a specific group), have given up sleeping in, going out late (past 8 p.m.), eating whatever they like, and partying with friends for years and years. Growing strong muscles requires working hard weights - and that hurts! There are no short cuts. Attitude means that you will push through the training threshold, you will do the last set, you will choose to eat less junk food and get to bed early. Choose attitude, lots of it and be proud of it. Yes, it will get up someone's nose. Not everyone will like you for it. What really matters is that you like you for it, and like who you become and what you do because of it. This is attitude for your life versus attitude just because.

2000-12-13T19:03:00.000+08:00

Smiley Flower...how it brightens up the Remains of the Day for me. Indeed, the remains of the day are the most beautiful. I had juz received a funky flower from my closest gal buddy, actually a stuffed toy flower with a very smiley face. It's so adorable and brightening, I can't help forgetting how horrible a day it has been till the flower arrived via super express courier. *Touched* The day had begun horribly for me with the 'No train services between Boon Lay and Clementi' sign taking dominion of my life. I was suddenly thrown into disarray and disorganization. I know not how else I can get to work apart from using the trains considering the long distance involved. Hence, in short, I travelled 2 long hrs (I'm still in Singapore, mind you!) to nowhere and finally reaching my office 1 hour late. My mood can't be worse. When thousands of commuters in human-infested Jurong area are stranded from the train services, guess what happens to the cab & bus services? That aside, I finally ran out of luck with wearing my all-too-obvious beach slippers in the office. I had my HR DIRECTOR warn me as gently as she can on NOT wearing slippers to work. I felt like protesting but refrained from fighting a losing battle, lost battle rather. I was only on my way to seeing the lawyers about some Broadcast rights issues. She could have conveniently sued me with her lawyers there and then. aha! Ok, I'll dress up tomorrow, I promise myself. I've also been feeling weak this whole week, spiritually, mentally & physically. It happens when I'm not soaked in the presence of God on Sundays. The difference is so tremendous that I cannot begin to explain. It does so much for u. I was at the gym again today during lunch feeling feeble and unmotivated. I juz forced myself to do some forearm, abs, triceps, calf and ankle exercises. It's amazing how work can sometimes take out the sensitivity in a person. Sometimes, I lose touch with myself when I'm buried with and under work. I don't know what to write in this journal. I cannot feel pain, love, awe and even hurt. Work sometimes numbs you. I guess that is why companies came up with this Leave system where you go away about 14 days a year on paid leave, you pay for a trip in an attempt to find yourself back, put your soul and spirit back into your physical shell, feel the pain, love, awe and hurt all over again...come back into the office and the next cycle begins. It reminds me of this process of toxification and detoxification. Sometimes the damage is so deep that the remains of the day (or is it night) becomes literally, remains. They are like ashes, proof of our mourning to the loss of our individual freedom. We literally give of our lives to the companies we work for. We subject ourselves to rules and more rules, hierarchy, instructions. Dimensions which were originally intended to stretch our potential now most limit us. Whatever you do, define your own dimensions within the confines of law, justice and love. Sounds paradoxical? Grace does not liberate you to do as you please. Grace liberates you to do BECAUSE you know God loves you. Grace is the most liberating DIMENSION of Love and freedom.

2000-12-12T10:37:00.000+08:00

Heaven & Clothes...I did not see 'Earth' this morning. My wardrobe had collapsed, not for the first time actually. Things that I had a part in assembly usually do not stay assembled for very long. I'm never good in technical things, none the least paranoid though it gives me lots of shivers. However, I had thrown myself the challenge of putting together my new hi-fi together, just to show myself that I dare challenge my weaknesses. This time, I had to literally, pick up the pieces. Ok, Sunday's training: Wind was blowing SW, between 8-10 knots and current was pretty strong (Southeast direction towards Changi) at about 3 knots. We did a series of about 6 starts which we had to focus on 3 things: i) Timing ii) Pumping Power iii) Position The challenge thrown to us is to achieve all 3 out of which if we failed in one, would have failed in all. Imagine achieving perfect timing and snatched the best position on the line, but lack the pumping power, the sailor is still going to lag behind and face all the dirty wind from the sailors who 'zoomed' off. That was quite a good refresher for me. Next we did 2 mini Sausage races, this time, putting into practice what we learned in the starts. Starts are PARTICULARLY important and crucial for short courses as there is no time and not enough distance to catch up on the fleet. Short courses are too explosive and adrenalin pumping compared to say, marathon courses or long course racing. The comparison can be seen in sprint events where every second and millisecond counts. I did badly for the first race. I lost to my rival. I had gotten a bad start and wound up having problems adjusting to gusts. I even had a collision with Ben who later got knocked down by Chewy. I sorta lost the flow and gave up the whole race. It's often the case with short courses coz it takes more than a miracle to catch up. Every step is crucial and every small mistake is magnified. Second race: I beat my rival. I sensed the wind shift and sailed down to the port end which is biased. Ben, Harold and I got off from the Port end on Starboard but was caught off by Andrew who sneaked off Port-tack at Port end, caught a lifter and reached the upwind mark first. Seeing Andrew catch the lifter, I tacked early and Ben did so later and lost out. I slowed down due to forearm cramps and lamented how I could have done better. Somehow, the boys have no forearm cramp problems. aha. My rival caught up with me very soon and I played wave-riding with her. I gybed much earlier to catch the favoured current to reach the finish line. By then, I had pulled a big gap between us. I did not pump at all coz I was nursing my blisters on my palms. Only 2 things I did on downwind to win: Wave-riding and making use of currents. yay! Then the PERFECT STORM arrived...but George Clooney was nowhere to be found. We had a great de-brief where we discussed and asked many questions. I later sandpapered my board and sent it for re-decking. The selections are coming...my equipment's gotta be tip-top. I will be rigging up my Olympic sail this Sat and prepared to kick some butts. Stay Tuned.

2000-12-10T11:30:00.000+08:00

Woke up with an aching body and a wry smile on my face. Secretly happy with life, with the things going the way they are, and the way things will eventually turn out. Give me some time to adjust...I thought...I've been missing the presence of God on Sundays twice in a row since. I'm juz feeling too tired to wake up at 7 a.m., trudge off to church and rush off to the beach. I used to be able to rush here, there and everywhere. Particularly in my undergrad days, schedule was tight and more tight. I lived on an adrenalin rush and a packed schedule, without which energy could not flow. Now...i wish life to be simpler, slower and I long to catch the sunsets. Have I aged? Have I become jaded and seared with life events or is it that I've readjusted my priorities and decided on what is really important and not. I believe in the latter as I know I'm still showing signs of excitement and joy at the simplest things. Read this article in The Sunday Times on Wu Qing Kang, a journalist with LianHeZaobao for more than a decade long. He's published 9 books, travelled to 60 countries, penned many songs, founded the 'xinyao' movement and blah blah...He claims he's a jaded pessimist, not really happy neither is he unhappy. He says that is the trait of a perfectionist. That is absolutely true!!! Perfectionism is the illegitimate son of Success and they never quite celebrate together, even though it could be a good companion on the journey. However, Perfectionism should not be an attitude assumed with pride, as this man has. It portrays a person as having an unsatiable appetite, a high achiever and of amazing intelligence. You almost wonder what exactly drives this person? Yet he said it all....he's not a happy person!! Perfectionism creates a byproduct of unhappiness and a crave for more...and it never ends! This results in an unhealthy taste for success as it is out to prove to people that he is confident, capable and successful. He's doing it to prove himself, in other words, he's doing it for others. He'll never be happy until he does things for himself. I wish for him joy and peace, having the knowing that God loves him, and is perfectly happy with him whether or not he is a success. Nothing is more precious knowing love, joy and peace so intimately, the assurance that the love of God is not directly or even correlated to one's performace, or lack of. His love is a 'despite of' and 'in spite of' giving. I endeavour to crave for success because I want to transcend my limitations, because I want to manifest God's anointing and giftings. I want to give glory to Him for empowering me. I crave for Excellence because that is whom I'm serving. Indeed, I have nothing to prove, no one to impress. I strive into rest...I work hard to be happy, whether or not I've written 9 books, travelled to 60 countries, drive a sportscar or have luncheons with Faye Wong. I pity those who derive pride and confidence in the car they drive, worse still, bought by their rich fathers (& I have many ARROGANT friends like that without which they are empty shells), ladies who derive acceptance and attention from men by the hours spent in front of the mirror dolling their faces. All these are very superficial...and seek to cover their hurts and inadequacies. Underneath, they are desperate to prove something, they are not at peace and they are insecure. People are real and let's shake off all these hypocritical dresses and see people as they are, not what they own.

2000-12-10T00:13:00.000+08:00

Saturday's training: We had 5 mini races with varying wind conditions. Wind was blowing SW still and in the first 2 races, wind was light at about 5 -8 knots. In my practice, I realised that the anti-skid on my board was really wearing off. I could not rail my board at a good enough angle to be able to point. I decided to go back to shore to get my booties. I went out again, confident that I should be able to point well again but boy, was I wrong. Sighz, I did really badly in the first 2 races, coming in right at the back with no hope of redemption. Yup, I was really upset!!! Nothing could descibe my disappointment. Gusty light winds where u cannot plane nor maintain a good sheeted in, covered sail. I was constantly moving my body around, searching for a good position to stand, a good position to place my hands and feet. I juz could not find anything. Hence it shifted my focus on tactics to juz my body stance. That should never be the case when you are racing. Every move should be automatic and instinctive so you could devote your 100% attention to your tactics and wind-reading. That is why sailors spend hour after hour on the sea trying to perfect their techniques. I lost to my fellow lady rival in these 2 races for a lack of physical fitness in pumping. I juz could not muster any strength to pump the course. %^^$#@ Where did the benefits of my weekday trainings go to? Thank God the wind slowly picked up to around 12 knots where we were juz about able to plane comfortably on the upwind (but not on downwind unless u pump)...ahahaha...yes! I staged a comeback to win my rival in the next 2 races and occasionally packing myself in the boys pack. As the wind gets stronger, my position is increasingly farther behind the boys. Even though my board speed was relatively good compared to my rival who had a crouched stance, totally not beneficial to board speed. It is all the more important to straighten out your legs on the foot straps, hiking yourself on the harness right on the edge of the board. Straighten your arms and lean as far as you can, absorbing the crashing of the waves with your knees and ankles tt are already strapped to the edge of the board. Rail your board to 30 degrees or so angle so your board can cut the waves. Yes, it hurts your ankles a great deal to be hyperextended at such an abnormal angle. That is why a sailor should include ankle ex daily or frequently. Joints are small, important and yet susceptible to injuries. They are also more likely to be ignored. In the 3rd & 4th races, I made sure I had good board speed to make up for my lack of alertness in my starts. I was almost always late for the starts and not taking transits. I confess! Plus, I did not think a lot about tactics or reading the wind shifts etc...I literally followed coach q and found myself focusing on board speed and maintaining a good body stance. Lack of water time...sighz...If I had enough water time to fine tune my techniques, I will be able to focus on tactics. Reaction to gusts and lulls are a big problem for me. I juz cannot maintain the rail and speed with a gust/lull coming. Several factors r responsible for this. Fitness: If my fitness and strength are tip top, I will be able to maintain my planing stance and be mentally alert enough to feel out for gusts/lulls. Fatigue makes me too tired mentally to feel out esp when I'm abt to crumble under when the lull comes or be catapulted when the gust hits. Water time & experiece: Can increase my reaction time and I should be able to act b4 i react. By the 5th race, somebody not training with the National team was sailing the course with us and knocked me down into the water. He was on starboard and I was on port and I did not give way. Reason being he should not be in our course at all and we are having races. Pissed as I was, I caught up with the remaining of the upwind leg and after the second upwind, I was on par with my rival. I dropped my sail and there goes my win...I was too tired to fight for it. However, I was satisfied, very satisfied. I know how hard I have to work to fight for my SEA Games berth and how far I was from there. It's achievable. I juz lack the physical fitness and sailing fitness that can only come with water time and time spent in physical training. What I can do during lunch-time on weekdays are apparently insufficient. Another note...Life is still not perfect as much as we like it to be. We may truly believe that wonderful people exist and life is full of love and joy. A lot of times, it is not. People are starving in developing countries, women are being raped, children are forced to be slaves, men killed in senseless wars, students engaging in sexual and violent activities in school and outside school. Life is a horrible sight. It boggles me many times how people can get so cruel and illogical, selfish and violent. I refuse to believe it. I wondered about how some of my friends can marry men who show abusive and violent character traits. I get worried for them. What if they get abused later, or slapped or insulted in their friends' presence? I also read about how some men pass on Aids/HIV to their wives from their sexual activities with prostitutes. These, are totally senseless and selfish to the greatest degreee. As much as it is appalling in nature and unbelievable in logic, they are real. It takes the child in us to still believe that life is wonderful coz it really is. Adopt a childlike attitude, not childish....see the newness in old things, the excitement in a daily sunset...we cannot change reality, but we can change the way we SEE reality. Sometimes, people may not believe in you. Other times, some people may think that we won't amount to anything or go anywhere. Jesus died for no fool! Jesus hung on the cross in excruciating pain to redeem champions. Fools say in their hearts 'there is no God'. We overcome the odds not to prove something. I've decided long ago that I have nothing to prove, no one to impress. The overcomer overcomes to better himself and to show others that they are able, if they believe.

2000-12-08T18:07:00.000+08:00

I walked past the playground this morning. I noticed a girl, of about 12 yrs old, struggling with her bicycle. I noticed she was struggling to balance the handlebars and barely pedaling. The bike struggled to create a momentum out of nothing as she focused hard on the road ahead, forgetting to pedal. This brought me to remembrance that it's the same with pursuing goals. Focus on the journey, not the destination. Focusing too hard in keeping yourself in the direction of your goals amount to nought if you forget to pedal. If you focus on pedaling hard and well, and occasionally checking your destination, you'll inevitably get there. Focus on the nitty gritties in your journey and you can be sure to have a good result at the end. God can only direct a moving car...keep moving... Went to the gym during lunch...I declared a long lunch for myself. aha! Firstly, TGIF. I did a good 60 reps of barbell for my lower back, pull-ups, 4 painful sets of 30 abs crunches. 30 min of treadmill & 20 min on the stepper. It was good...in the process, I engaged in visualization. I visualized myself windsurfing, sailing a perfect course and overcoming my weaknesses. I visualized myself beating everyone in the race and still coming out strong & fresh. Got a friend's wedding tonite...Goodwood Park Hotel.

2000-12-07T18:07:00.000+08:00

Continued from the previous entry. 2) Perfection: It's a bad word. Humans can never achieve perfection lest we are gods. Perfection and its inability to achieve it results in guilt, self-condemnation and pride. It leads to unhealthy obsession and imbalanced definition of success. Excellence is the redemptive sibling to Perfection. Seek to attain excellence and do your best regardless of others' standards/expectations. Excellence means doing your very best in everything that your hands find to do. Excellence means not sparing resources to enable the best quality of work to be done. Excellence recognises human limitations and respects the efforts. Perfection demands more and more...it is unforgiving and uncompassionate. 3) Joy: It is not happiness. Happiness is a sort of shallow joy that is based on happenings that happen to turn out the way you want it to. Happiness is circumstantial but joy is not. Joy sneaks out right from the heart to brighten up the darkness, warm up the cold-hearted and give hope to the hopeless. Joy is confidence in a Good God regardless of bleak situations coz faith gives reason for joy to manifest. The joy of the Lord is my strength. Anything that is circumstantial always tend to waver and is unstable. You have to set your goals on what you believe in and the deep confidence in what you are called for. Joy will enable you to train when there seems there's no reason to. Joy will pull you out of disappointing times when you fail and flounder in races. Joy will catapult you from the pit into the skies. Joy will keep you focused and supply a strength to go towards the goal. 4) Humility: Talent will not, persistence & determination can bring you to success but humility will KEEP you there! The attitude counts equally, if not more, than the elements that bring you success. Most importantly, you do not want to lose your success overnight. You want to keep it and humility will. It encompasses teachability and an open mind. Jessica Crisp once said to me, "Always enjoy windsurfing and you will always improve." That comes from a 2-time PWA champion and 4th in 2000 Sydney Olympics, with more than a decade of professional and world-class experience. She knows what she's talking, I'm pretty sure. What she also means is that we are never good enough to have finished learning. Once that thirst never ends, we'll always improve. Someone who claims he cannot improve is puffed up, thinking he's good enough and it's boring. Robby Naish also said the same thing...that he's still enjoying the sport as he did 24 years ago. New tricks, new equipmemt, new conditions keep him stoked! He's humble enough to respect the ocean and its complexities. 5) Jesus: The most important element...Without Him, I can do NOTHING!!! Without Him, I am Nothing! Off to Bible Sudy...I miss the presence of God terribly...

2000-12-06T17:51:00.000+08:00

My brain is saturated! Finally, work has been kinder to me today. Ironically, it leaves me bored, tired and even more lethargic. I received an email from a young 'disciple' who was talking ernestly about her frustrations, anger and confusion. Every word and adjective seems much of what I've gone through, either for positive or negative. I do not think that such questioning and introspective examination is bad, lest it leads to depression and hopelessness. Most times, it was during such moments of introspection that I recover myself, face myself in the nudest form and truthfully forcing myself to accept every wart and all. Over these many years of competition experience, I have this to say: 1) Expectations: They kill you! Yes, they do and not only that, rather ruthlessly. His brother's name is Perfection and they serve the same purpose and come from the same mother. Expectations placed upon oneself can do 2 things. They serve as a sort of Power to cause one to surge forward, and even to exceed beyond one's natural abilities and transcend beyond one's disabilities. The other purpose is that it also creates guilt and condemnation enough to brake one in his tracks. The point is that Expectations itself has great limitations and is self-inhibiting in nature. A person places Expectations on himself to achieve something so as to gain a better result or a trophy, to increase accolades and gain recognition. Most of the time a person thrives and surges forward most positively, attempting to achieve such internal and external rewards. The test comes when trials and failures seep in. Discouragement, disillusionment and dissatisfaction become the all-encompassing feeling. One feels that he cannot match his expectations and hence feels deflated. Sori...i've run out of time to continue this...I'll do it tomorrow. Meanwhile, I've received a Christmas card from a varsity classmate. She's my age, got married after graduation, had a son who's learning to walk now and expecting a girl due next Feb. I almost fainted! Am I late in life? I'm far far away from that stage of domestication. No boyfriend, no husband, no baby, no cries to attend to at night. Am I missing out on something here? Come Friday, I have yet another wedding to attend to. It's my Secondary School classmate. Half of my class girls are married. I've been giving out too many Ang Pows this year...Stop it!!!

2000-12-05T19:11:00.000+08:00

Oh my...I'm still in the office yet again, and it's dark and rainy outside. I've been working late here everyday, consistently from the whole of last week and I was hoping it shall not repeat this week. My vampire lifestyle is back. I sneaked off to the gym during lunch-time today, did a good 2 sets of 5 pull-ups, 10 min run on the much-hated treadmill, hamstrings ex, calf ex, ankle ex and of coz, the gruelling abs ex. Ouch! Sunday's training: There was basically no wind! Negative to 0 knots and reasonably strong current. Shifty winds from N to NW. The youths were rigging up their equipment and testing them out afterwards. The others were rigging up what came back from Siam Cup a week ago. Chewy and I decided to do a couple of rounds of torturous pumping. We set off, wind blowing N to NW, heading towards a boat and back. On the way back, the wind shifted and I was caught in a mad whirlwind of lulls. I was moving backwards and sideways. Chewy was pointing up to get wind. I gave up! I felt yucky with myself. I complained to Chewy that my attitude is bad. I don't enjoy the session if it's not fun with such torturous conditions. C'mon, there wasn't anyone else out there! Trainings aren't supposed to be all fun and no pain. That is why training is called training. When conditions get bad, go out there and learn to harness the impossible. When conditions are perfect, enjoy it! A good sailor excels in all conditions, without complaints and murmuring. I determine to be that! First, I need to buy Coach a whip! Second round: Wind shifted to NW and we hit towards Siglap beacon. aha! No wind is my best wind...I kept pumping till I had momentum and when you have momentum, you would suddenly find wind which don't quite exist. They are actually created wind. The current was pushing me down hard and I tried pointing as high as possible. I reached Siglap with ease and we headed back soon. The wind shifted to become a beam reach and a storm pending, we hurriedly pumped back to the club. The eastern side of Changi, PA were already stormy and I knew then that any hope of storm winds is gone. Not when the rain comes b4 the winds. Not satisfied with the meagre amount of training, we went rollerblading. I was satisfied! My room has become a studio of inspiration! I've nailed up 8 8R foto frames of Olympic windsurfers, 2 remaining, scattered neatly all over my room. Just sitting there makes u feel inspired! You end up in this painful dilemma of wanting to go training or sitting there admiring the pix. I chose both! I picked up the dumb-bell, started working out my forearms, biceps; dusted my rubber tubing and started working out those shoulders. Push-ups were also the highlights of the inspired evening. In between huffs and puffs, I would sit there admiring the fotos, soaking in the Olympics spirit and visualizing myself sailing those good races. It felt so good. It feels good when you feel at home with your passion, your heart's desire. It feels good when you know that you are gonna make good decisions and people around you will support you. It feels good when you know that you are taking steps to achieving your goals, and not juz dreaming about it. It feels fantastically good when you know that God loves you, most of all! You love Him the most when He empowers you to do the thing you love the most. Your destiny and calling are tied up intimately with your passion and giftings. God cannot give you a destiny totally irrelevant to your interests and passion. God cannot snatch your dream from you like your childhood neighbour would to your marbles. God will not force food which you hate into your mouth. God CANNOT! He says that He loves you so much that HE would rather go to hell FOR you than to go Heaven without you. How much more...would HE not give you good gifts, good destinies, good callings because He is a good God. I've decided that no matter what happens, whether I lose every race and not achieve my every goal, that I'll still be full of joy. Life is still wonderful. God is still good. The sun still shines every morning and the birds still sing. The flowers still bloom and the rainbow still sneaks out after every drizzle. God is too good to enable little disappointments to dampen my joy and snatch away my zest for life. Jesus is likened to windsurfing. Everyday is a new day. The wind is never the same and the same combination never recurs twice. There is always something new to learn everytime you go out there into the ocean. Each time you learn a new trick, doing a better gybe, out-pointing your sparring buddy, you get super stoked. And the stoke never ever ends! You keep going out to feel more, hear more, see more...of the ocean and yourself. You learn to re-define your horizons everytime; paint your own twilights, sail your own course, harness your own winds with your own strengths. You have to turn the cube around to see the other dimensions and convince yourself that there's more than one dimension. Jesus is all-encompassing! His mercy is new every morning. He loves you a different way everyday, shows you new miracles and blessings everyday. He opens up the flowers when it is of blossoming time. He picks up the sun when it's time for sunrise. He turns the tide around at the appropriate times twice a day. He remembers to send some rain when the fields get dry and farmers worry. He feeds the caterpillars and teaches the mighty ants 'unity'. He flashes a rainbow across the horizons when the drizzle ends. He did not forget to colour the rainbow with 7 gorgeous colours in the correct order! He answers the prayer of a little child who wants a new bicycle. He dries up the tears of a forsaken wife betrayed by an unfaithful husband. He sees every need and answers every prayer b4 you even utter a word. If only you will BELIEVE that He is good!

2000-12-03T11:02:00.000+08:00

Wow...it's been almost 4 days since I published something. Anyway, I was supposed to slow down over the weekends. I did! Not the best positive sign on the seas but yup, it was basically windless and non-happening as opposed to the windy hype on a couple of weekdays. SATURDAY: It started off as gusty with patches over the waters, though apparently visible from the dark wrinkles on the surface and lapses of 0 knot wind regularly. We had planned to practise our starts, considering the 4-5 of us making up a good number. We had initially sailed around, following Coach Q, desperately trying to sail at his super high upwind angle and speed. I had fallen victim to a good tip for a wrong time. My harness lines were at 7 fists distance from the boomhead, which Chewy swears by as reasonable for monsoon winds. I've never had my harness brought back so far , only to a max of 5 and a half fists. This explains my frequent catapults and slam-dunks where I'm the object and the ball. It hurts & most of all, you could lose your contact lens in the water as a result of the SUDDEN slam into the water or having suddenly dive into the water in all peculiar patterns in the most awkward instances. However, I was trying out the wrong thing at the wrong time, and could not get my FEELING back on this equipment today. I could not feel the ONE-ness I usually felt with the winds, waves & equipment. I felt totally unaligned with the Centre-of-Effort(COE) because my harness are so far back. In light winds, the COE is far forward and it steadily shifts aft the sail when the wind picks up. Hence I felt the non-alignment. However, it proved the point when I met sudden gusts and felt the harness positions near-perfect, able to feel no pressure on my front arm as well as back-hand. The stronger the wind, the more you have to PUSH the boom on your front-hand. And trust me, even a super strong forearm cannot endure long periods of pushing the boom, manually resisting 25 knots wind. You'll soon find yourself crippling especially at the arms, forearms, shoulders and basically, EVERYWHERE. In fact, 7 fists could be just the minimum guideline, according to Chewy, who's often a better strong wind sailor than me. Generally, as SJ tried so hard to explaiin to me something which I was also trying to explain to him, girls have more problems in strong winds relatively than in light winds. Coz girls lack strength which is so required of in strong winds. To be able to resist suddeng 25-30 knot gusts take a lot out of a sailor, and EVERYTHING out of me. When one is tired from resisting than attacking, this leaves no reserves for the sailor to think tactically. This is why a sailor has to be fit and strong AT ALL TIMES. The fitter a sailor, the more he can keep his focus on tactics and not having to think about how he can last through more pumping. Back to training, the wind didn't show up at the most crucial moments, when the buoys were laid and sailors neatly assembled near the coach boat. Sighz!!! What's new?! We did a windless sausage only to witness a miracle manifested by our Coach Q who weighs 85 kg and yet smoking all of us to a spectacular finish in this 1 knot wind. I'm totally baffled by this man who could do magic...he's easily 10--20 kgs heavier than all the sailors here but not giving mercy when it comes to boardspeed. I figured he had superb control of his board and sail, which is all the more important in no-lightwinds. I started near him, towards the pin-end of the start line which is indeed a good place to start because I had wanted clean air(which I got) coz everyone was crowding near the boat. It does not make sense coz the current was already strongly pushing us down Changi's direction. Starting nearer the pin-end enables me to make use of the current more as well as get the clean air. However, his superb board control just smoked me, and he's not even pumping. Afterwards, we practised a duck gybe plus turning into upwind. I even missed the buoy....not generating enough speed. Coach Q's manouvre was fluid and quick. I shouted to him to do a slow motion again coz I had blinked my eyes. aha!!! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the 1994 Asian Games Gold medallist!!! I now know why I'm not there yet! ahaha...We went back to shore after we found ourselves mosving backwards and sideways more than forwards. I did 4 sets of pull-ups, 4 reps each set, after much boo-ing from the boys, who of coz easily did 15-20 reps each time. SJ was telling me how weak I am to just do 4 blah blah blah...I got so angry but it did help me finish the set. He did that on purpose. He could do well as a coach than a music teacher, I betcha. I also did a couple of bench pull (standing version) at 20 kgs, 15 reps. I did one for strength endurance, 10 kgs, 60 reps. Some triceps ex and others just to make myself feel like I've done a lot. It was shopping time after that. We had a drink outside for a while, chatting with Haro and Coach KY for a while, and coming up with silly ideas as usual. Then it was off to our favourite Herbal Chicken escapade. Boy, was it crowded...we circled the carpark thrice before getting a space. We ordered a whole Herbal Chicken, Fried Oyster and dumplings. We spent half the evening devouring the chicken, drowned in our own perspiration and happiness. Then it was off to Sim Lim Sq to shop for my notebook. I saw 3! Yup, most of the shops were closed as a result of the time we invested devouring the chicken. I was deciding between buying a new desktop or a notebook. A notebook will come in handy in my travels in future while a desktop will be kind to my pocket. I'll see how. Then we zipped down to IKEA to buy foto-frames for the 8R fotos from the Sydney Olympics. I bought 6 glass frames while Chewy bought 3. I also bought a 4R metal frame. We hunted around for a CD rack and finally we found one really cool one with a cement stone as the base. It could contain 104 cds and it's high, silver-greyish in colour and I didn't have to take long to decide. We bought one each. That, I must say, was my best buy of the night. I placed the silver frame on top of the rack and can't help thinking how matching the colours were, my hi-fi, rack and frame. SUNDAY: I struggled to wake up at 7 a.m. to go to church and failed miserably. My eyes just could not support my heart's desire. ahaha...I went back to sleeping and am now drinking my second cup of coffee. I had slowly overcome my fears of assembling electronic and home decor stuff. My break came when I overcame my fears and paranoia to assemble my hi-fi all by myself. Next, I had fixed the channels on my tv all by myself too. Now, I'm super competent in sawing off battens on my own. aha!!!! The pride of a girl who was innately technically-paranoid! I still display the initial irritation and frustration if I have to fix something, be it on my equipment, home appliances or computer. I simply hate it and am paranoid of it. I would postpone it long enough for my patience to run out b4 I seek help. Anyway, I hope there'll wind today, if not, I'm bringing my running shoes there as a back-up. Stay Tuned!!!

2000-11-29T19:01:00.000+08:00

An article published in ST, Tuesday 27 November 2000: SAILING New coach set to give boost S'pore hopes to tap his expertise for a boardsailing renaissance By Elgen Kua WITH a new national coach, Qian Hong, at the helm, Singapore's boardsailing future appears to be headed for smooth seas. This is not only because his name means 'bright fortune' in Chinese but also because of his impressive credentials. The native from Zhejiang, China, was Asia's best boardsailor in 1994 when he won the gold in the 12th Asian Games and was twice No. 1 at the Asian Sailing Championships in 1990 and 1996. With such an impressive honour roll, the Boardsailing Association of Singapore hopes to tap his wealth of experience to start a renaissance among the boardsailing fraternity. The BSAS experienced a drought of five years without a South-east Asia Games medal since Goh Thye Hock's bronze at the 1995 Jakarta Games, and has yet to produce another prominent sailor since the late Kelly Chan. Said Lemmy Teo, president of BSAS: 'We brought him here specifically to help our national team and build a foundation over the next three years to develop our next batch of sailors. 'He is presently working out a talent development programme for the the national youth squads and plans to start with secondary schools that have boardsailing as an extra-curricular activity.' Qian is confident he will meet the targets he has set by the time his three-year contract ends, which is to develop a medallist at next year's SEA Games and 2002 Asian Games. But there is a lot of work to be done. After two weeks of observing the team, he gave a critical assessment of the present national selection team. Said Qian: 'Physically, they need to work on improving their strength and fitness. On their skills, they need to go beyond the basic manoeuvres to master the more technical aspects of boardsailing. 'They also need to build on their racing tactics and reading of the weather conditions.' However, Qian is optimistic of their medal chances for the Kuala Lumpur Games. He said: 'All of them have a lot of potential. What is most important is that they are all very spirited and eager, which is the first step to making progress.' His first task for this year is to prepare the national team for the Singapore Open and the Tudor Cup next January. 'My target for them is to close the gap between them and the Thais and Indonesians. 'After that, we can work on their weaknesses and train for the SEA Games.'

2000-11-29T18:32:00.000+08:00

Hebrews went effevecscent today, giving me a bottle of half-consumed vitamin C tablets. I didn't know whether to throw or to consume, to feel insulted or to feel grateful. Who knows what he did to the half that were gone and the other half remaining. ahaha...It's not a present as a present is supposed to be a firsthand, unused good. I decided not to theorise too much on a bottle of vitamin c tablets. I did appreciate it or else I wouldn't have challenged myself to consume it. What probably is most exciting about today is the Bug news. My Japanese windsurfer friend has given me a quote on the varieties of Bug juice and their prices. This was the brazen liquid which was slated to enable Japanese Naoko Takahashi to win the gold medal in the Sydney Olympics marathon. Nothing can describe the pride I felt seeing an Asian winning a gold medal in the Olympics. My friend promised to bring me lots of it, as much as I'm willing to pay for. Our conversation topics have ranged from 'Supergirl' to 'Miss Singapore'. It's too long a story to begin telling here but she's the No. 2 windsurfer in Japan, not to mention a pretty face decorating the bronzed muscled arm of her pin-up poster boyfriend who's possibly called Superman. We made a pact in our last email, to be joint No. 1 & No. 2 top windsurfers in Asia. Our ambition is to rout Masako Imai and Lee Lai Shan out of their decade-old dominance in Asian windsurfing. ahaha...I must have been dreaming to agree with her. aha. However, nothing is impossible. AMEN?! Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. I forgot to mention that I've broken the no-gym curse today. I finally went, having discovered my flu was better and caught my nose from running away. I didn't go all out though I finished 3 sets of exercises which include what I call 'complex' move, prescribed by my strength trainer, Dr Ben Tan. I also did other stuff like forearm exercises using a barbell, abs, calf ex, ankle ex and pull-ups. I found myself gasping for breath at times as the flu always threatens my cardio fitness rather than strength. But I felt the focus back again, as did my lunch-time gym workouts. I found myself in occasional flights of fantasy, clad in lycra blue bodysuits with my red undies on the external. Supergirl! ahaha...It must have been a childhood-deprived fantasy with the too-much school work that I am now dreaming of becoming a superheroine. It's amazing how fantasizing about your innermost dreams can put a spring in your step and a sparkle in your eyes, albeit no one around you knows what you are thinking of. I think the scariest thing is not about being unable to fulfil one's dreams, but the LACK of dreams in one's life. Occasional indulgence in the impossible is beneficial for one's faith as God does not see us through our natural eyes. The eyes of faith leaps across human impossibilities and crosses the deepest chasms. I drew strength from the story of Joshua and Caleb. They spied the land of Canaan and reported in faith that it was a land flowing with milk and honey. This is the report of men of faith. The others trembled and saw themselves as grasshoppers in the land of giants. One group saw blessings while the other saw evil. The difference lies in 'vision'. Conquer fear or it'll conquer you. It's 6:30 p.m. on a midweek and I'm still comfortably seated in my office...I struggle to mention this but it is really midweek. Ought not I be doing something fun, like going for some jazz, movies, dance or even meeting up with old pals? I've just been too caught up in my recent obsession at home. I've been writing notes into my windsurfing log book, getting enough rest, reading books and dreaming... And yes, there's been articles running through Straits Times the last weeks up till Monday. Articles that talked about the Singapore Open, Tudor and our local windsurfing scene. Today, we saw the helmsman of SingaporeSailing Federation being elected into the ISAF Committee. Wonderful!

2000-11-27T13:21:00.000+08:00

Flood!!! With work, that is...Just taken time off from training to go down to Johor Bahru over the weekends for my church Young Adults' Camp. It's done good to me, I must say though I was surprised that I gained returns which I did not expect to have. The predominant feelings I came back with are really "love, friends and support". I went there expecting more spiritual stuff like "anointing, refreshing, supernatural power and wisdom". None of these happened, I guess that is what makes God, God...He knows better what I need. True enough! I rushed off to the beach as soon as I set berth in Singapore. I was greeted with 18 knots of good fantastic wind and choppy waters. 4 of us, Coach Q, Coach Tan, Chewy and myself went upwind and downwind twice. I did well for the first round though I didn't follow them...I was wondering why they sailed low...I was enjoying pointing high with tremendous speed. I was surprised at my speed and sturdiness as I wasn't yet recovered from my flu. By the way, I was swamped by a virus, both biologically and technologically. I fell to the flu virus and my home pc to the navidad.exe virus. Hence, I could not update my webby as much as I would love to. Anyway, I was railing so hard my ankles hurt a lot...but I really had fantastic speed which I know that I already had the Anointing I had sought from God in the camp. As I said, I had expected anointing, refreshing, power etc...I had somewhat manifested those without being aware of it. I was sick during the camp, half-hearted during the games, and participating in 40% of my full capacity. Yet I was able to pump like a monkey during the downwind to beat everybody else. Then Coach T told me my downwind speed has improved, (surprisingly). ahaha...I thought he was gonna laff. He also called me later in the night to reiterate that my overall upwind and downwind speed have improved, significantly. I must say that it's a sudden thingy. God does such things, you know. He's deposited the anointing and wisdom in you to have you manifest it when you are least conscious ot it. Then you'll know that it's "Not by might, nor by power, but but His spirit." So that we may not boast in our own strength but give Him the due glory. Coach T was also saying that he wasn't slow then and I remembered that I was always never able to catch him in strong winds. He uses a raceboard which has a faster boardspeed than mine. This means that my planing skills have shot up. My downwind was good too...in fact, relatively better than my upwind coz I was riding all the waves and pumping the sail like a monkey with the masttrack aft. Plus, my angle was good. The second upwind was bad, ironically. I started drifting uncontrollably after the first tack and nothing I did could salvage the problem. Maybe the angels were pushing my board. aha! Oh yes, check out the article on our coach http://web3.asia1.com.sg/archive/tnp/6/sports/npso81.html He's been here only a few weeks but I feel that much can be done for us in the next couple of years. I insist on being hopeful!!! I missed my lunch gym routine today...still not feeling well. I've got loads and loads of work waiting for me anyway. I'll write more later, about the camp. The new friends I made and stuff... it'll be a long one. stay tuned!

2000-11-23T16:25:00.000+08:00

Do I want to be doing something just because people think it's cool, hip and fashionable? Do I DARE to want to be myself, even when it's not gonna add to my accolades, feathers in my cap or popularity? Do I dare to accept myself for who I am and who I want to be? I've decided quite long ago that fame and popularity is not worth pursuing, that any ambition in this life is not worth pursuing, IF you have no love. You can give without loving but you can't love without giving! It's not about being religious and being irrelevant to the world, it's just about being true to self and your values. I'd rather stay true to my values even if it means I'm not indulging in the popular activities. I've decided that all which I do, if I feel no peace nor love, I'd not do. Not because I HAVE to, because I WANT to...coz Jesus' Love is exemplary...HE gave up everything for me, He's the only One who died for me, suffered at the hands of those He created. He GAVE His life, His life was not taken away from Him. He's the Only one worth living for! He did not suck up to the Pharisees of His day...submitting to peer pressure and out to add to His accolades. He simply lived His call and God exalted Him! Self-effort brings you only this far but God's exaltation endures forever. Love does not envy, does not lie, is not self-seeking, is not rude...if you do not have love, you do not have God...because God is Love! Yet you can have God and not have love...Some people stay faithful to their partners because they HAVE to...reputation, rejection, etc...no matter how faithful they PRETEND to be, they have violated the purity of love. Faithfulness is really about a CHOICE, a choice to be faithful even in a tempting situation, a choice to stay faithful despite being mocked by 'friends', a choice to be faithful to one's integrity and to God. Above all, they want to be faithful because they Love their partners. I'm numb to the ways of man...there's nothing new under the sun and I believe there is not a point when the situation is beyond one's control. A person's life today is a culmination of choices, good and bad, right and wrong. Let's live for Jesus...pursue Love, pursue His Presence!

2000-11-22T13:45:00.000+08:00

Caught a wist of Honour last nite at the movies. Brave fronts, gritted teeth and unbelieveable guts were the order of the nite in "Men of Honour". The story of a nigger farmhand who aspires to be Master Diver in the U.S. Navy had his dream fulfilled. Not a simple ambition when he had to overcome tough racial discrimination and prejudice to become the first African-American black in U.S. history to graduate from Navy School. Graduate he did not, he excelled and overcame, and became the Best! Poignantly, he achieved his dream almost at the expensive price of losing his lovely wife and son. He was rightly accused by his wife, Jo, of living only for himself and how she only demands a Little out of him, which he was not even willing to spare. Dreams, per se, are selfish. Sometimes people are accused of letting life slip by him, as he told Jo in reply to her statement that her dreams are much simpler and much less...i.e. to be a doctor. He had a point...small dreams in a simple lifestyle seems fleeting and big dreams make one's life appear noble and purposeful. Both of them are right and wrong...the idea is to strike a balance...not to get obsessive of the dream. Kiwi Bruce Kendall (2-time Olympic windsurfing champion) once said "Conquer your dream or your dream will conquer you!" It's important not to let the dream control one's consciousness such that one forgets the more important things in life, the non-perishables so to speak. Nonetheless, this movie shows this one man's courage, determination and single-mindedness which we can't help but admire and embrace. His dream was inspired by his late father's last words to him "Dun give up on me...BE THE BEST!" He was reminded of these words by the wooden radio which his father gave him, engraved on it "ASNF" -- A Son Never Forgets. With these, he pressed on toward his dream, against all odds, even when everyone around him rejected him, jeered at him, mocked at him...He endeavoured against all principalities of unbelief as if just to prove that they are wrong. He stuck on what he believed in and believed in himself when others did not believe in him. He made diamonds out of junk and rainbows out of raindrops. Ultimately, it was the simpler things in life that caused him to realise who and what he was fighting for. When he turned and saw his wife and son in the courtroom, as he was fighting the fight of his life to get reinstated back to active Navy duty, he turned to the judge and said that he understood traditions, he was standing there for a Tradition, called 'HONOUR'. This, silenced the tongues of cowardly men and stirred the hearts of everyone else. He saw the bigger picture through the loving eyes of his wife and son. He managed to grow his dream out of selfish ambition to encompass his family, country and values. Love helped him do that...that his wife's unceasing support, love and belief are by no means, tiny pillars. Unconditional Love changes a person for the better, solidifies his values, sharpens his perspective and and unveils revelations in his mind. The Honour of Love makes men of honour as well.

2000-11-20T17:14:00.000+08:00

ok...i'm as gloomy as the weather! Stuff going thru' my head is threatening to tear up my sanity as well as logic. I was supposed to be very very happy with the way things are moving for my sport yet, things are that not ideal with a close girl fren of mine. I'll spare the details as I'm aware that being too frank does hurt some people. Been busy the whole day with work...taking time out to breathe now. Phew! Skipped my lunch gym routine, sparing the cold I caught yesterday, what with the rainy weather and temperamental wind conditions. I'm caught on the low point of the day now particularly relative to the high I experienced this morning. I'm expecting my friend to come back to me to say that I've hurt her even more blah blah blah...sighz...help!!! Anyway, I learnt that Expectations kill! Simba in The Lion King once was told of his past hurts to 'put his behind in the past' ahahahaha...yup. Put your butt on your past troubles and sit on it. Either that or you can put the past behind you. It works both ways. I'm excited about the future...another friend leaked a secret to me just as "Hebrews" (a colleage of mine who is a 'he' and brews tea everyday so I nick him Hebrews) came by to offer me a cup of tea, that she's resigning her job in an ad company to be a vet nurse. Wow! I was secretly and sincerely happy for her that she's got what she's always wanted to have and do. This, no doubt is success and being happy. I'm glad that she had the courage to pursue her hearts' desires. Sighz, still trying to rid this gnawing feeling of mixed guilt, anger, hurt and bewilderment all in the same breath. Lord, take my cares and make me whole.

2000-11-19T00:16:00.000+08:00

Planing time!! We had 4 hours of solid planing today...sunny and windy, what else can I ask for? Albeit the chops, the planing was enough to lift my spirits and rekindle the windsurfing passion once again. I just had an emotional outing to my close friend's wedding in the morning, seeing her married with the man of her dreams gave me relief, joy and much anticipation of more good things to come for her. She's had a rough journey at times, and thoroughly deserves every love she can get from this man. Back to windsurfing, it wasn't the overpowering and catapulting conditions, juz a nice long afternoon of consistent 11 -13 knots with predictable chops. We started out sparring with our coach which resulted in mere tagging along and 'following', which I must admit, frustrated me a great deal. He wasn't telling us where to go and longing to watch his techniques, simply have to follow him, not concentrating on my own board speed but making sure he's always the leader, no matter how slow he is. We sailed around Siglap, Bedok and made our way back to shore. We were supposed to have a series of 'starts' practices after which we would go on upwind, focusing on railing and sheeting in the sail. Apparently, we had many problems with the wind and the buoy while we conveniently planed up and down waiting. We 'watched' him stay on the line, start without us knowing when he started, so i never failed to lag behind. We would sail for a while b4 we tack and plane on a broadreach back to the start line. We did that several times b4 the powerboat died right there on the sea, despite many desperate tries. By then, I was totally bummed. I was falling all over the place, from my board, over my sail and under it as well. I'm ok on the move, but trying to stay stationary on the unforgiving chops took its toll on me. I was secretly glad that we are not doing any more starts, which I wasn't learning anything anyway...aha! We planed for the next 2 hrs...till the wind died and I went back shore more bummed than I expected. I felt I had been planing much better today...firstly, with my harness lines aft sail, I literally felt no tug or pressure on my hands/arms at all...I was totally relaxed!!! I was sheeting in very well, able to point well when I want to and bear away when I need to. I only had one good gybe...sad! The rest were pretty much chicken gybes or failed ones. My daily gym workouts have saved me from early fatigue...allowing me to concentrate on my techniques and stance etc...previously, I would have bummed out after 2 hard hrs of sailing. I managed at least 4-5 hrs this time. yay!!!! My gym work-outs are manifesting the benefits. Plus, what also contributed much was my weight loss *everyone clap along...yay yay yay!* which definitely made me much lighter on the plane as well as plane earlier. I was having much problems in upwind in choppy conditions, however. I juz could not find the equilibrium--i either under-rail or over-rail (board almost flipping over). Frus! Plus, the waves keep my board into a constant zig zag route which I was trying hard not to get into. I couldn't straighten my legs, hence pulling the sail too far down towards me and killing the wind flow. yikes!!! I very much prefer the planing in strong wind/choppy conditions. To say the least, I don't have to stress out my forearms that much...upwind's a sheer torture on my forearms whatever the wind strength...it's either pumping or fighting against the gusts with your forearm. I very much prefer the former as the pulling motion is via self-will whilst pushing is because-I-have-to. Towards the last half an hour, my gybes were only executed 1/3-way though my spirit is willing my flesh was literally very weak. aha! After that was dinner with my secondary sch pals, one of whom was getting married in a couple weeks' time. I should like to think that it's up to us to choose what to think about, focus on and talk about. If all we think about is how scared we are about this, that, that's all life's going to be. The company we mix with is as important as faith can be imparted, just as much as fear and negativism. Let's choose to be full of faith, hope, courage, resilience, tenacity and love. Then Ling passed me a booklet "More than Gold" which features 20 Olympic and world-class Christian athletes who excel in sports for the glory of God. That is what they live for, breathe for and suffer pain for...to glorify the name of Jesus!!! This will best complement the CD version that I bought b4 the Sydney Olympics season. Soon, I will share a couple quotes when I've gone thru' it. Meanwhile, gotta recuperate from the 5 hrs of hard planing...gym again tomorrow! Try to smile ok...

2000-11-17T13:57:00.000+08:00

TGIF!!! I broke my usual lunch routine to the gym today. Phew!!! I'm giving myself an unofficial break...will pop by the gym after work instead. Somehow, I feel like having a food-court feast today...ordered chinese rice with lotsa stuff on it, sweet potato soup, teh-xi, 2 bananas & 1 papaya. I suspect it was y'day's 3 showers in a day that instictively make me want to stay in today. The storms were too much for me. I got showered the moment I came out of my shower after my workout. I had done some weights ex & hopped onto the stepper machine for some cardio. Juz as I dried slowly & almost painfully, by the office air-con did I get wet again from the pour after work. But I HAD to go, I was meeting Stephanie for dinner. We had a great time catching up...not restraining myself telling her any deepest matter in my mind even if it means only half an hour before Bible Study. I shared with her about my dilemma regarding my windsurfing stuff. As usual. In return, she saturated me with words of faith, hope and love. Better than the human sympathetic ear a thousand times. Somehow, God's spirit and words in the right season changes u...enlarges your vision and deepens your tenacity. It roots me in my vision, my calling and my destiny! The service was excellent, as is every other service. The worship brought tears to my eyes and strength to my heart. The song "Power of Your Love" gave a revelation that it is the LOVE of God = Power. The Power that enables me to soar with Him, into higher heights, bluer skies and greener pastures. Knowing HOW MUCH GOD LOVES ME is the empowerment to greater miracles and everything else. BANG!!! Pastor Prince continued with more Bang! He continued expounding on the Grace message and reminding us of the miracle wonders that happened last Thurs when the chijmes sang by themselves. Angels were with us literally. I strongly believed that one of them tripped over the musical instruments. aha! Tomorrow's my close 'sister's wedding at City Harvest Church. I've been grappling with the issue of marriage and babies. I've increasingly more friends who are getting and are married, some with kids, at 24 yrs old. *gasp* I love the idea of having a kid to chase around the house, a reason for me to start buying toys and playing with them, with my child of coz. The endowment of the most noble title "Domestic Engineer" would be sweet...I would wake up every morning to my child's 'adorable' cries for milk, later preparing breakfast for my dear hubby, see him off to work with my baby in my arms. Cook make-believe 'Tubby-Toast' with my child, cycle around the house and even make funny shapes with Play-doh. We can head down to the baby pool and frolick with the baby floats and rubber duckies. But! I've unfinished business at the moment...while all my friends are chasing the C dream and vying to be the No. 1 Rat, i'm still pursuing my lofty Olympic dream. Many of my friends who began with me in windsurfing have all dropped off and gone on to what they THINK as pragmatic and 'mature' aspirations. It seems to me that the Government has decided on our fates: 7 yrs old-- Primary 1; 13 yrs old--Sec 1 16 yrs old-- O levels; 18 yrs old--A levels 19 yrs old--University or National Service after which one works 5-6 days a week till he is 60 yrs old. It's time to withdraw that CPF. There's nothing new under the sun or anything unique to gaze upon. And when one deviates from this cycle of life, one rebels against the norms and people ask you 'how', 'why' and 'after that?' I often wondered about this phrase we see all too often on Quotable Quotes "What would you do if you knew if you could not fail?" We'd rather avoid answering that. What is most scary is not about not being able to fulfil one's dreams, but the lack of a dream. Hence, it is easiest to follow a set pattern as it is a 'PROVEN' path...trodden on and well cemented. The road less travelled would be avoided, ignored and mocked upon. Yet many agree that it is not the destination that matters as much as the Journey. If one travels on a commonly-travelled journey, one sees what the next person has seen, smelled and tasted. There is no variation nor anything new. Why settle for second best when you can have the best?! Go for it! I urge you...follow your heart...sometimes you need to leave your head behind for our thoughts have been conditioned to the set dimensions of society. God is calling men and women of this day to Pursue Him, His Presence and His Ways! Listen to your heart!

2000-11-15T16:50:00.000+08:00

It's 5 p.m. My second posty for the day. Match-sticks under my eyelids now...ate lunch really late so the drowsiness is taking effect now while it's worn off in other people. How embarrassing! I've tried stuffing myself with tidbits, the prawn crackers and now the spicy tapioca I got off the vending machine in the wonderful, tummy-saving pantry. My abs (if there are any) are rioting now...kinda achy and not so keen to let out a habitual cough. It sends the ripples down...Anyway, just heard from Wanqi that there wasn't wind at the beach and hence, no training. Also heard from Chewy that there was a storm that never quite came yesterday, which I imagined a bunch of grown-ups chasing storm clouds but never got the groove. Phew! At least it wasn't that bad afterall, for me at least, the unable-to-sail-during-lunchtime-sailor. There's gonna be a department steamboat dinner for no apparent occasion tonite. I'm not going! Not that it's gonna upset my training plans but I do need to get down to typing my Olympic Campaign very very soon. I suspect someone injected general anaesthesia into me coz I'm feeling like I'm gonna faaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll assssssllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp. *slap slap* But anyway, I had a lousy time at the gym this afternoon. Not exactly lousy in terms of my training but the company was immature. There was a bunch of over-grown kids (possibly sec sch boys), overgrown in size (one was 6 foot 3, I'm pretty sure) and undergrown in thinking. They hogged the space and the weights, jammed up the audio airwaves (talking too loudly and all) and clogged up my mind. I do trainings on alternate days between the major muscle grps and the minor muscle grps. Today happened to be the major-but-not-that-major grp of muscles. I did some complex stuff with the barbell with 18 kgs (usually 20 kg) which is lighter than usual coz I tweaked my neck this morning. This complex thingy included squats, biceps, triceps, shoulders & forearms at the final haul. I hate it beyond description. Then I also concentrated on forearms with the 7.5 kg barbell, giving me the whine at the end of my 15 reps. Of coz there are the unforgettable abs ex, ankle raises for a sexy-look on the calves and obliques ex. I hanged myself literally too...with my hands of coz, to stretch and strengthen my lower back. Then off I went to buy a new bottle of moisturizer and chicken chop kuay teow. I feel more and more focused every single day. Every trial there is strengthens me, are as food for my nourishment. The obstacles laid along my Olympic route boosted my hunger and cemented the desire. It makes me come to terms as to HOW MUCH I want it and HOW HUNGRY i want to be. The underdog is where I want to be, says Christoph Sieber (the Sydney Olympics Gold medallist). That's where I want to be too...a place where I would not over-stress myself unduly nor place the world's weight upon my shoulders. I'm not Hercules eh. Meanwhile, I'm one day nearer to the fulfillment of my dream and when that day comes...I hope it comes! aha!

2000-11-15T11:03:00.000+08:00

It's raining cats & dogs now...and it's only 10:15 a.m. It's a sign that the long-awaited NE Monsoon is biding near...time for the boardshorts & lycras to arise from their rest in the wardrobes. Suddenly, there are many 'full-time' sailors at the beach...where the wind is, they shall be. While they are happily sailing in the seas, I'm pumping iron in the claustrophobic gym during lunch-time. That's the best I can do, given my limited resources. This morning's MRT ride was one of the very unpleasant ones I experience periodically. There was this Indian man seated next to me, dressed unkemptly in a football jersey that's so old, there are bubbles on the sleeves. He was of course, unshaven and totally oblivious to social graces. He was reading his copy of Streats, so was I and my neighbour to my right. There should not be a battle for elbow space as long as one is zi dong enough not to spread the newspapers out to the maximum. Apparently, he did not. To add pain to my neck, which I was sure was sustained in my untidy sleeping posture the night before, there appeared to be something else sticking out in between his legs because his leg space intruded into mine. I instinctively inched away from him, elbows, legs and every part of the body that belonged to me. I had to snug close to my female neighbour to my right, hoping she doesn't mind the unwelcome warmth. As if I wasn't irritated enough, he was clearing his throat every one minute, making sure everyone in the carriage, and maybe the next, would be forewarned of his presence in the train. The clearing-throat action was not the usual soft, embarrassed sort but almost in a magnified tone enough to knit my brows further. Not to mention that he was soon nodding in his sleep, and increasing his leg-space dominance. I had nowhere to put my legs! I was concerned that I was soon to be spotted with a Uni-brow as I was getting increasingly irritated. Then...he started coughing!!!! I had my last straw...I got up from my seat, content to stand through and receiving sympathetic glares from fellow ladies commuters who noticed my uncomfortableness. My morning adventure...not the least exciting...

2000-11-14T21:56:00.000+08:00

MORE THAN GOLD...just decided on the title for my Olympic Campaign...this shall be the title to carry the whole thing thru' Woke up to a revelation that I was late for work...terribly. To say I rushed through is insufficient, I literally flew through my tasks & the next thing I knew was that I was in a blue cab...I 'awoke' in a sedated consciousness to find the horrendous, unworthy bill of $22 for this ride that's cripped by traffic jams. I ran through my mind how to argue myself out of the bill and how I should attack a cabby in the most gentle way. I paid up anyhow. aha! I mumbled to myself how I should really move out of my house and how I will never take a cab again! Time flew at work & now, I'm sitting here, musing over the philosophical stuff of life... "It's not about the Bike"...a quote from Lance Armstrong...the man who won the Tour De France twice, the second time after he lauched a brilliant bounce-back from testicular cancer. Brilliance is probably an insult for not only is it a show of courage, maturity, strength, resilience, focus and belief, it is also a performance of the triumph of a vulnerable human being against the darts of the devil. I can't say that he triumphed with the faith of a believer neither can I understate his amazing human resilience. As much as I wish that he could give all the glory to Jesus, proclaim His wonderful name and pursue His wonderful presence, I'm undeniably touched and moved by his being. His best moment in life was not on the bike, as he said, breasting the finish tape at the Tour, but it was that sacred moment of the birth of his son. It made the Tour seem so small, says the Winner. There are many many instances in a day that can make the greatest success seem so small...the birth of a child, the blossoming of a flower, the rising of the sun, the yawn of your newborn, a boy's joy with his first bicycle and even your little girl's first rough drawing saying 'i luv u'. Very often one gets distracted during the journey. Eyes fixed on the destination, he forgets to embrace the moment! Smell the flowers, hear the birds singing, say 'hi' to the uncle who sells chicken rice and even hide a love note in the jacket of your loved one. Forgetting to enjoy the moment is an insult to the Almighty God. That Life itself is not worthy to smile at, that there are no blessings coming along or that there's too much stress. More often than not, that stress is self-endowed. Only pride can do that. Let go & let God...God promises never to allow the righteous to be moved, AFTER one casts his burdens unto the Lord.

2000-11-13T18:20:00.001+08:00

Alrite...waiting out for a Meeting to discuss stuff in the Singapore Open that's happening rite at the end of the year... However, meanwhile, I'm losing my groove as I'm thinking too much. Bogging myself down with 'what ifs' and 'but-s'. Sighz, as much as I'm keen to lighten my countenance, I juz can't find the strength to do so, and even if I do, it'll look reallie fake. Either that or people may think I have neural spasms on my face. So I'll juz pretend to be 'introspective' and 'deep' in thoughts. Previously, I mentioned I was in an emotional roller-coaster, now I'm not sure if it could be a hormones VS emotions battle or could it be spirit VS flesh battle. Whichever it may be, Psalms 55:22 says that "Cast your cares unto the Lord, He shall never allow the righteous to be moved." How it refreshens me like cold water to a weary soul. I've already finished one packet of Butter-coated Sunflower seeds and not really craving for more coz it takes its toll on the relevant fingers. My fingers will be fine by tomorrow for another sunflower seeds-attack. I'm not sure if this is the right way to diet as I did not feel hungry since my gym workout during lunch-time. Got to ciao...

2000-11-13T18:20:00.000+08:00

2000-11-13T13:46:00.000+08:00

Reality bites! OUch!!!!! I won't be touching any sand for another 4 and a half days and for now, I gotta be content ogling at the foto-posters I made out of the Sydney Olympics. Christoph Siber (Austrian Gold medallist) & Alessandra Sensini (Italian Gold-medallist) are seated with me at my office cubicle, reminding me of the lofty, elusive Olympic Dream daily. I seem to be on an emotional roller-coaster rite now, tossing through and from Dream-state and Reality, not sure which is which occasionally. I think they are synonymous in the most basic meaning of the 2 words. Anything which can be visualised by the mind and eyes is tangible, hence Reality. The Bible says that 'blessed is he who walks and sees by faith, than by sight. Many times people live Reality in a dream-state. They float through life without truly living. This is an inferior lifestyle to living one's Dream in Reality, even though they are most likely the ones to be jeered and mocked at. To live or to be alive...a complex question as much as it is simple. As Hamlet said, "To be or not to be, THAT is the question." I had answered my own questions long ago, only to have someone snatching them away from me. I can't say that it doesn't affect me because it does. It hurt deeply. Now, some are questioning me the very questions that I've answered long ago and seeing MY answers on other people. Cheated and betrayed by my own kind? It's like some other kid in my neighbourhood taking my marbles away from my hand. As determined as I am in pursuing to manifest my answers in my own life, I am as determined to help that 'others' in their manifestation of their dream. I owe everything to Jesus and He lived His life for others, that they may live. I shall love my enemies and feed them bread. Shalom!!!! :)

2000-11-12T22:35:00.000+08:00

1-4 knots, NE-E wind: Our long-awaited wait for the coachy has finally ended on a good note of relief. We had our very first session with him and I must say that I'm hopeful to a great extent. We didn't do solid super trg to burn our brains and arms out but enough for him to watch & catch us at our worst. Everyone was amazingly hardworking today! aha! We sailed from Bedok buoy to Keta and then to Padang, back to Bedok. I just wasn't warmed up enough nor pumping well on the reach in particular. i was in 3rd psn, slipping to last 3rd at the end of the leg. I was frustrated at how my pumps do not increase board speed and it appeared to be a waste of my strength. I let it go...tired, frustrated and hot! I experimented with my daggerboard but came out inconclusive.I didn't succeed in the wave-riding either. yikes!!!! Determined to do better in the next 'race', I came in 1st in the fleet of 8 in the next upwind from Bedok to the boat. I basically pumped my brains out, that's all...I think towards the end, I sorta closed my eyes and pumped, pumped pumped...It worked anyhow. I was very happy, frankly. This, is my best wind condition! Rather, no-wind condition. :))) When others can't seem to move, I can! ahahha...After that we were screaming for iced water and we did smuggle ourselves into ECSSC for rehydration. The debrief afterwards was very beneficial. I figure I should really improve tons under this man, certainly I really ought to think about how I can increase my water time in addition to wkend trgs. Meanwhile, wkday gym trgs should suffice. Arrggggggghhhhhhh!!! It's back to work again...and lifestyle as a vampire. It's amazing how quickly the wkends slip by, leaving me looking fwd for the next wkend to arrive. Nonetheless, it's back to routine in the office again...work work work...& to be among all the other TELE-tubbies in my company...Well, in case you think I'm terribly plump, purple and have an antenna up my head, nope! ESPN where I work is a sports channel so we are all teletubbies figuratively. Thank God I have some butter-coated sunflower seeds to keep me company b4 the wkends come, and still brooding over the gigantic Pooh bear which my team-mate did NOT buy in Shanghai. :P

2000-11-12T09:30:00.000+08:00

Woke up to an overdose of caffeine I took the nite b4...at least, thankfully, i managed to sleep eventually. The marble cheesecake was still floating around in my tummy, as is the coffee. I can't believe how I can stretch time...I'm definitely late for first service in church (NEW CREATION CHURCH http://www.newcreation.org.sg) so I thought I'll go for the second. & I'm still sitting here typing up...Anyway, just penned an email to Yasuko, my Japanese windsurfer friend, telling her that I've ordered for her brand new equipment blah blah... also that I long to be Supergirl like her. aha! Anywayz, one article caught my eye in The Sunday Times today. Rather, one particular pix...that of a bikini-clad China-Chinese-'Singaporean' table tennis player in the Sports section. I thought I was seeing things. I wondered about how she has RE-defined sports and sports apparels to be this? There was an argument about how generally Singaporeans do not favour foreign talent representing SIN in major competitions. I belong to that group that's NOT supporting the idea of foreign talent. Basically because I also belong to the group of LOCAL talent, local meaning 'by birth' & not immigration, that desires to be developed and nurtured to world-class standards. How simple can my reasoning get? In fact, I felt ZILCH when I read about some of 'our' table tennis players reaching the semi-finals in the Sydney Olympics. Simply because I can't help but think that they are not 'Singaporean' though they may be Singaporeans legally. They are not very Singaporean in the way they speak nor behave, I think. Being 'Singaporean' means more than just living in Singapore, eating chicken rice and taking the MRT. It also means more than wanting to play table tennis...or for her case, wanting a medal or wanting to play table tennis?? She could continue to play table tennis back home but may not win medals, conversely true if she's 'Singaporean'. Is it a passion for the sport or a passion to pursue fame & $$? Think about it...we cannot rely on shortcuts forever, simply. My 2 cts for this morning...got to rush to church now and then to the beach...

2000-11-11T23:35:00.000+08:00

Good wind...FINALLY! It's been a while since I had a chance to pull my mast track all the way back. Initially the wind was gusty and patchy...those sorts that I simply hate. It's like the type of wind where u think someone is holding on to the wind tap & turning it on and off...the sorts that suddenly increase by 5 kts and threaten to catapult u. Well, I got catapulted and slammed er, 3x or more...not as bad as my fren Ching whose catapult resulted in 2 broken battens & a broken ego. I was not much better, grunting most of the time as I climb back up on the board. Plus, it didn't help that my wkday gym trg always manifest on my first wkend windsurfing, not to mention the sudden shocks the gust give to my tight forearm muscles. I was cramping up a lot there. Thank God, the gusts dropped and the wind became more consistent throughout. It was blowing around 15 kts steadily. Boy was I enjoying myself by then...a bunch of us sailed up to Padang, broadreaching all the way, pulling through occasional patches of lulls. Soon u will be able to predict when the lulls come and quickly open up your sail & get yr feet off the foot-straps. We did that twice till we launched a 'search & rescue' mission for a 'missing' team-mate. We realised that he's been missing since the storm. Ben & Harold went off searching towards the easterly direction & I headed towards the ships, half expecting to find him stuck under a ship's hull or anchor-line. Nah, I was actually worried sick for him. I prayed for his protection and hoping NOT to find a mangled mess of flesh, sail, mast & foam. Later I found out he's actually gone back to shore to drink water. I was fuming mad plus relieved all at the same time. There goes our training & the wind...the wind died as I was searching & I ended up at PA ordering new sets of MOD equipment for the Japanese sailors. How convenient, I thought! This Jap friend of mine is a Supergirl, as I call her. One of the rare windsurfers who bother to pen out emails and share her goings-on etc...Back to my 'training', the wind died, expectedly...to a 0 kt or less...ahaha... However, I was feeling more than satisfied with the planing and good sailing I did. I could hold off the big boys in the winds and not letting some of them catch up with me. I was sheeting in nicely and reacted well to the lulls without slowing down too much. Those old long harness lines helped a great deal, as did the new postions I placed the upwind footstraps. I reached the upwind Mark, Keta buoy 3rd among the 6 of us and maintained this psn as we hit Padang buoy in a straight reach. I tried to minimise the bouncing but couldn't. I will have to figure that out later. Also, I thought my harness lines outta be further back in the stronger winds but din have the time to fix it. Coz 90% of the days we have reallie light winds so my equipment is set to light wind conditions. Of coz, my sail was too full initially for the gusty conditions even when I pulled tight everything possible. Overall, I was happy with the free n' easy session today as I felt much stronger. My gym trgs r manifesting good results, despite the initial cramps. I could still pull off 4 chin-ups after that...which was quite a record for me! ahahaha...i'm indeed very motivated to focus on my physical trg as it makes so much difference to my endurance. Not to mention my diet's got to work or I'll sink very soon even with a life-jac on. Looking forward to tomorrow's session as we are meeting our chinese coachy for the first time. Either his English improves or our mandarin...aha! Hope he can formulate a good physical training program for me to work on in the weekdays so I can make full use of the wkend water trainings. Minus the typical chinese mentality of work and life, I would suck every piece of windsurfing knowledge out of him. I hope coachy & sailors can click well, on and off water. I certainly do not look forward to the regimental way of training in China where you sail coz it's better than working in the farm or that your family cannot afford to upkeep another child. The politics and sociology of sports...arghhh...I'd rather not expound on this for it'll take more than a thesis. Meanwhile, I'm suspecting that my toes are hurting a little...ouch! More later... &

2000-11-10T21:36:00.000+08:00

Just been reading about Barbara kendall & Teddy Huang's adventures. To say that I was fuelled and fired up is an understatement. I'm stoked juz reading and imagining. I would usually be tired out after a hard week's at work. Somehow, passion and energy can be so easily bounced off & rubbed off, from one shoulder to the next. Words indeed allow one to climb into one's skin & walk around in it. Not to mention the feeling of overwhelming excitement, as if I'm sailing with them & hovering in spirit-form. My heart is indeed overwhelmed. I had longed to be able to post lotsa race reports like barb can. However, it's not always easy when I have only such limited race experience, where the no. of overseas races can be counted easily between my 2 hands. It would seem almost embarrassing to write anything about my training sessions or post my innermost thoughts. Yet, it came to my mind that no one's too insignificant to be ignored, no dream too small, no question too dumb, no effort too little. Went to work today with a heart full of joy and expectations. My heart was basically overflowing with the knowing that "I can really do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me". This reminds me of an ad that I saw, "What will you do if you know that you cannot possibly fail in?" I automatically started thinking of the things I want to do, or think I CAN do. There are so many things to look forward to if one tries to find it. I looked forward to luncheon with one of my windsurfing gals, Wanqi. We had a simple lunchy, laffing and poring over the fotos that I just collected. My prized possessions from the Sydney Olympics. I was basically trigger-happy over 13 rolls of films. Blew up classic shots of Olympic windsurfers to decorate my room and office. Pictures tell a million words, at least, words that would be incapable of explaining what I felt in those times. My best moment, as I reminisce, was during the Prize-Giving Ceremony, held in front of the beautiful Opera House at Circular Quay. As the National anthems played, the flags climbed steadily up the poles, the winners on the podium awe-struck and the audience inundated in the reality of it, I felt that THIS is indeed, THE one moment in time. THIS is what the Olympics is all about. THIS is more than an everlasting memory ingrained in me. Notwithstanding the Olympic hype and celebration, the impact of the meaning of the Games hit me more than a 100 kt typhoon. The winners must be feeling a myriad of feelings: joy indescribable, numbness, relief and unbelief. Yet others pained by a dream unfulfilled, others elated beyond description. It must have been more than a combination of these feelings. Years of physical abuse, commitment, sacrifice, effort, concentration and work cannot be narrowed to a single feeling. It must have been more than this. It is a sacred time for the winners to celebrate, with millions others, how their sweat & tears translate into such a glorious moment. It is a time to celebrate why they raced, who they raced for and who they are. It is too easy to be there and cheer along...and dismiss the non-medallists off as purely non-medallists, few know the sacrifices they went through to be where they are, and the pain they endured to pursue their passion & dream. Few heard their cries of hopelessness and fear and few dried their tears. Probably no one has felt their most intense pain gnawing on the inside of them as they feel the medal slipping by, and dreams remaining elusive.