An article published in ST, Tuesday 27 November 2000: SAILING New coach set to give boost S'pore hopes to tap his expertise for a boardsailing renaissance By Elgen Kua WITH a new national coach, Qian Hong, at the helm, Singapore's boardsailing future appears to be headed for smooth seas. This is not only because his name means 'bright fortune' in Chinese but also because of his impressive credentials. The native from Zhejiang, China, was Asia's best boardsailor in 1994 when he won the gold in the 12th Asian Games and was twice No. 1 at the Asian Sailing Championships in 1990 and 1996. With such an impressive honour roll, the Boardsailing Association of Singapore hopes to tap his wealth of experience to start a renaissance among the boardsailing fraternity. The BSAS experienced a drought of five years without a South-east Asia Games medal since Goh Thye Hock's bronze at the 1995 Jakarta Games, and has yet to produce another prominent sailor since the late Kelly Chan. Said Lemmy Teo, president of BSAS: 'We brought him here specifically to help our national team and build a foundation over the next three years to develop our next batch of sailors. 'He is presently working out a talent development programme for the the national youth squads and plans to start with secondary schools that have boardsailing as an extra-curricular activity.' Qian is confident he will meet the targets he has set by the time his three-year contract ends, which is to develop a medallist at next year's SEA Games and 2002 Asian Games. But there is a lot of work to be done. After two weeks of observing the team, he gave a critical assessment of the present national selection team. Said Qian: 'Physically, they need to work on improving their strength and fitness. On their skills, they need to go beyond the basic manoeuvres to master the more technical aspects of boardsailing. 'They also need to build on their racing tactics and reading of the weather conditions.' However, Qian is optimistic of their medal chances for the Kuala Lumpur Games. He said: 'All of them have a lot of potential. What is most important is that they are all very spirited and eager, which is the first step to making progress.' His first task for this year is to prepare the national team for the Singapore Open and the Tudor Cup next January. 'My target for them is to close the gap between them and the Thais and Indonesians. 'After that, we can work on their weaknesses and train for the SEA Games.'

Hebrews went effevecscent today, giving me a bottle of half-consumed vitamin C tablets. I didn't know whether to throw or to consume, to feel insulted or to feel grateful. Who knows what he did to the half that were gone and the other half remaining. ahaha...It's not a present as a present is supposed to be a firsthand, unused good. I decided not to theorise too much on a bottle of vitamin c tablets. I did appreciate it or else I wouldn't have challenged myself to consume it. What probably is most exciting about today is the Bug news. My Japanese windsurfer friend has given me a quote on the varieties of Bug juice and their prices. This was the brazen liquid which was slated to enable Japanese Naoko Takahashi to win the gold medal in the Sydney Olympics marathon. Nothing can describe the pride I felt seeing an Asian winning a gold medal in the Olympics. My friend promised to bring me lots of it, as much as I'm willing to pay for. Our conversation topics have ranged from 'Supergirl' to 'Miss Singapore'. It's too long a story to begin telling here but she's the No. 2 windsurfer in Japan, not to mention a pretty face decorating the bronzed muscled arm of her pin-up poster boyfriend who's possibly called Superman. We made a pact in our last email, to be joint No. 1 & No. 2 top windsurfers in Asia. Our ambition is to rout Masako Imai and Lee Lai Shan out of their decade-old dominance in Asian windsurfing. ahaha...I must have been dreaming to agree with her. aha. However, nothing is impossible. AMEN?! Faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. I forgot to mention that I've broken the no-gym curse today. I finally went, having discovered my flu was better and caught my nose from running away. I didn't go all out though I finished 3 sets of exercises which include what I call 'complex' move, prescribed by my strength trainer, Dr Ben Tan. I also did other stuff like forearm exercises using a barbell, abs, calf ex, ankle ex and pull-ups. I found myself gasping for breath at times as the flu always threatens my cardio fitness rather than strength. But I felt the focus back again, as did my lunch-time gym workouts. I found myself in occasional flights of fantasy, clad in lycra blue bodysuits with my red undies on the external. Supergirl! ahaha...It must have been a childhood-deprived fantasy with the too-much school work that I am now dreaming of becoming a superheroine. It's amazing how fantasizing about your innermost dreams can put a spring in your step and a sparkle in your eyes, albeit no one around you knows what you are thinking of. I think the scariest thing is not about being unable to fulfil one's dreams, but the LACK of dreams in one's life. Occasional indulgence in the impossible is beneficial for one's faith as God does not see us through our natural eyes. The eyes of faith leaps across human impossibilities and crosses the deepest chasms. I drew strength from the story of Joshua and Caleb. They spied the land of Canaan and reported in faith that it was a land flowing with milk and honey. This is the report of men of faith. The others trembled and saw themselves as grasshoppers in the land of giants. One group saw blessings while the other saw evil. The difference lies in 'vision'. Conquer fear or it'll conquer you. It's 6:30 p.m. on a midweek and I'm still comfortably seated in my office...I struggle to mention this but it is really midweek. Ought not I be doing something fun, like going for some jazz, movies, dance or even meeting up with old pals? I've just been too caught up in my recent obsession at home. I've been writing notes into my windsurfing log book, getting enough rest, reading books and dreaming... And yes, there's been articles running through Straits Times the last weeks up till Monday. Articles that talked about the Singapore Open, Tudor and our local windsurfing scene. Today, we saw the helmsman of SingaporeSailing Federation being elected into the ISAF Committee. Wonderful!

Flood!!! With work, that is...Just taken time off from training to go down to Johor Bahru over the weekends for my church Young Adults' Camp. It's done good to me, I must say though I was surprised that I gained returns which I did not expect to have. The predominant feelings I came back with are really "love, friends and support". I went there expecting more spiritual stuff like "anointing, refreshing, supernatural power and wisdom". None of these happened, I guess that is what makes God, God...He knows better what I need. True enough! I rushed off to the beach as soon as I set berth in Singapore. I was greeted with 18 knots of good fantastic wind and choppy waters. 4 of us, Coach Q, Coach Tan, Chewy and myself went upwind and downwind twice. I did well for the first round though I didn't follow them...I was wondering why they sailed low...I was enjoying pointing high with tremendous speed. I was surprised at my speed and sturdiness as I wasn't yet recovered from my flu. By the way, I was swamped by a virus, both biologically and technologically. I fell to the flu virus and my home pc to the navidad.exe virus. Hence, I could not update my webby as much as I would love to. Anyway, I was railing so hard my ankles hurt a lot...but I really had fantastic speed which I know that I already had the Anointing I had sought from God in the camp. As I said, I had expected anointing, refreshing, power etc...I had somewhat manifested those without being aware of it. I was sick during the camp, half-hearted during the games, and participating in 40% of my full capacity. Yet I was able to pump like a monkey during the downwind to beat everybody else. Then Coach T told me my downwind speed has improved, (surprisingly). ahaha...I thought he was gonna laff. He also called me later in the night to reiterate that my overall upwind and downwind speed have improved, significantly. I must say that it's a sudden thingy. God does such things, you know. He's deposited the anointing and wisdom in you to have you manifest it when you are least conscious ot it. Then you'll know that it's "Not by might, nor by power, but but His spirit." So that we may not boast in our own strength but give Him the due glory. Coach T was also saying that he wasn't slow then and I remembered that I was always never able to catch him in strong winds. He uses a raceboard which has a faster boardspeed than mine. This means that my planing skills have shot up. My downwind was good too...in fact, relatively better than my upwind coz I was riding all the waves and pumping the sail like a monkey with the masttrack aft. Plus, my angle was good. The second upwind was bad, ironically. I started drifting uncontrollably after the first tack and nothing I did could salvage the problem. Maybe the angels were pushing my board. aha! Oh yes, check out the article on our coach http://web3.asia1.com.sg/archive/tnp/6/sports/npso81.html He's been here only a few weeks but I feel that much can be done for us in the next couple of years. I insist on being hopeful!!! I missed my lunch gym routine today...still not feeling well. I've got loads and loads of work waiting for me anyway. I'll write more later, about the camp. The new friends I made and stuff... it'll be a long one. stay tuned!

Do I want to be doing something just because people think it's cool, hip and fashionable? Do I DARE to want to be myself, even when it's not gonna add to my accolades, feathers in my cap or popularity? Do I dare to accept myself for who I am and who I want to be? I've decided quite long ago that fame and popularity is not worth pursuing, that any ambition in this life is not worth pursuing, IF you have no love. You can give without loving but you can't love without giving! It's not about being religious and being irrelevant to the world, it's just about being true to self and your values. I'd rather stay true to my values even if it means I'm not indulging in the popular activities. I've decided that all which I do, if I feel no peace nor love, I'd not do. Not because I HAVE to, because I WANT to...coz Jesus' Love is exemplary...HE gave up everything for me, He's the only One who died for me, suffered at the hands of those He created. He GAVE His life, His life was not taken away from Him. He's the Only one worth living for! He did not suck up to the Pharisees of His day...submitting to peer pressure and out to add to His accolades. He simply lived His call and God exalted Him! Self-effort brings you only this far but God's exaltation endures forever. Love does not envy, does not lie, is not self-seeking, is not rude...if you do not have love, you do not have God...because God is Love! Yet you can have God and not have love...Some people stay faithful to their partners because they HAVE to...reputation, rejection, etc...no matter how faithful they PRETEND to be, they have violated the purity of love. Faithfulness is really about a CHOICE, a choice to be faithful even in a tempting situation, a choice to stay faithful despite being mocked by 'friends', a choice to be faithful to one's integrity and to God. Above all, they want to be faithful because they Love their partners. I'm numb to the ways of man...there's nothing new under the sun and I believe there is not a point when the situation is beyond one's control. A person's life today is a culmination of choices, good and bad, right and wrong. Let's live for Jesus...pursue Love, pursue His Presence!

Caught a wist of Honour last nite at the movies. Brave fronts, gritted teeth and unbelieveable guts were the order of the nite in "Men of Honour". The story of a nigger farmhand who aspires to be Master Diver in the U.S. Navy had his dream fulfilled. Not a simple ambition when he had to overcome tough racial discrimination and prejudice to become the first African-American black in U.S. history to graduate from Navy School. Graduate he did not, he excelled and overcame, and became the Best! Poignantly, he achieved his dream almost at the expensive price of losing his lovely wife and son. He was rightly accused by his wife, Jo, of living only for himself and how she only demands a Little out of him, which he was not even willing to spare. Dreams, per se, are selfish. Sometimes people are accused of letting life slip by him, as he told Jo in reply to her statement that her dreams are much simpler and much less...i.e. to be a doctor. He had a point...small dreams in a simple lifestyle seems fleeting and big dreams make one's life appear noble and purposeful. Both of them are right and wrong...the idea is to strike a balance...not to get obsessive of the dream. Kiwi Bruce Kendall (2-time Olympic windsurfing champion) once said "Conquer your dream or your dream will conquer you!" It's important not to let the dream control one's consciousness such that one forgets the more important things in life, the non-perishables so to speak. Nonetheless, this movie shows this one man's courage, determination and single-mindedness which we can't help but admire and embrace. His dream was inspired by his late father's last words to him "Dun give up on me...BE THE BEST!" He was reminded of these words by the wooden radio which his father gave him, engraved on it "ASNF" -- A Son Never Forgets. With these, he pressed on toward his dream, against all odds, even when everyone around him rejected him, jeered at him, mocked at him...He endeavoured against all principalities of unbelief as if just to prove that they are wrong. He stuck on what he believed in and believed in himself when others did not believe in him. He made diamonds out of junk and rainbows out of raindrops. Ultimately, it was the simpler things in life that caused him to realise who and what he was fighting for. When he turned and saw his wife and son in the courtroom, as he was fighting the fight of his life to get reinstated back to active Navy duty, he turned to the judge and said that he understood traditions, he was standing there for a Tradition, called 'HONOUR'. This, silenced the tongues of cowardly men and stirred the hearts of everyone else. He saw the bigger picture through the loving eyes of his wife and son. He managed to grow his dream out of selfish ambition to encompass his family, country and values. Love helped him do that...that his wife's unceasing support, love and belief are by no means, tiny pillars. Unconditional Love changes a person for the better, solidifies his values, sharpens his perspective and and unveils revelations in his mind. The Honour of Love makes men of honour as well.

ok...i'm as gloomy as the weather! Stuff going thru' my head is threatening to tear up my sanity as well as logic. I was supposed to be very very happy with the way things are moving for my sport yet, things are that not ideal with a close girl fren of mine. I'll spare the details as I'm aware that being too frank does hurt some people. Been busy the whole day with work...taking time out to breathe now. Phew! Skipped my lunch gym routine, sparing the cold I caught yesterday, what with the rainy weather and temperamental wind conditions. I'm caught on the low point of the day now particularly relative to the high I experienced this morning. I'm expecting my friend to come back to me to say that I've hurt her even more blah blah blah...sighz...help!!! Anyway, I learnt that Expectations kill! Simba in The Lion King once was told of his past hurts to 'put his behind in the past' ahahahaha...yup. Put your butt on your past troubles and sit on it. Either that or you can put the past behind you. It works both ways. I'm excited about the future...another friend leaked a secret to me just as "Hebrews" (a colleage of mine who is a 'he' and brews tea everyday so I nick him Hebrews) came by to offer me a cup of tea, that she's resigning her job in an ad company to be a vet nurse. Wow! I was secretly and sincerely happy for her that she's got what she's always wanted to have and do. This, no doubt is success and being happy. I'm glad that she had the courage to pursue her hearts' desires. Sighz, still trying to rid this gnawing feeling of mixed guilt, anger, hurt and bewilderment all in the same breath. Lord, take my cares and make me whole.

Planing time!! We had 4 hours of solid planing today...sunny and windy, what else can I ask for? Albeit the chops, the planing was enough to lift my spirits and rekindle the windsurfing passion once again. I just had an emotional outing to my close friend's wedding in the morning, seeing her married with the man of her dreams gave me relief, joy and much anticipation of more good things to come for her. She's had a rough journey at times, and thoroughly deserves every love she can get from this man. Back to windsurfing, it wasn't the overpowering and catapulting conditions, juz a nice long afternoon of consistent 11 -13 knots with predictable chops. We started out sparring with our coach which resulted in mere tagging along and 'following', which I must admit, frustrated me a great deal. He wasn't telling us where to go and longing to watch his techniques, simply have to follow him, not concentrating on my own board speed but making sure he's always the leader, no matter how slow he is. We sailed around Siglap, Bedok and made our way back to shore. We were supposed to have a series of 'starts' practices after which we would go on upwind, focusing on railing and sheeting in the sail. Apparently, we had many problems with the wind and the buoy while we conveniently planed up and down waiting. We 'watched' him stay on the line, start without us knowing when he started, so i never failed to lag behind. We would sail for a while b4 we tack and plane on a broadreach back to the start line. We did that several times b4 the powerboat died right there on the sea, despite many desperate tries. By then, I was totally bummed. I was falling all over the place, from my board, over my sail and under it as well. I'm ok on the move, but trying to stay stationary on the unforgiving chops took its toll on me. I was secretly glad that we are not doing any more starts, which I wasn't learning anything anyway...aha! We planed for the next 2 hrs...till the wind died and I went back shore more bummed than I expected. I felt I had been planing much better today...firstly, with my harness lines aft sail, I literally felt no tug or pressure on my hands/arms at all...I was totally relaxed!!! I was sheeting in very well, able to point well when I want to and bear away when I need to. I only had one good gybe...sad! The rest were pretty much chicken gybes or failed ones. My daily gym workouts have saved me from early fatigue...allowing me to concentrate on my techniques and stance etc...previously, I would have bummed out after 2 hard hrs of sailing. I managed at least 4-5 hrs this time. yay!!!! My gym work-outs are manifesting the benefits. Plus, what also contributed much was my weight loss *everyone clap along...yay yay yay!* which definitely made me much lighter on the plane as well as plane earlier. I was having much problems in upwind in choppy conditions, however. I juz could not find the equilibrium--i either under-rail or over-rail (board almost flipping over). Frus! Plus, the waves keep my board into a constant zig zag route which I was trying hard not to get into. I couldn't straighten my legs, hence pulling the sail too far down towards me and killing the wind flow. yikes!!! I very much prefer the planing in strong wind/choppy conditions. To say the least, I don't have to stress out my forearms that much...upwind's a sheer torture on my forearms whatever the wind strength...it's either pumping or fighting against the gusts with your forearm. I very much prefer the former as the pulling motion is via self-will whilst pushing is because-I-have-to. Towards the last half an hour, my gybes were only executed 1/3-way though my spirit is willing my flesh was literally very weak. aha! After that was dinner with my secondary sch pals, one of whom was getting married in a couple weeks' time. I should like to think that it's up to us to choose what to think about, focus on and talk about. If all we think about is how scared we are about this, that, that's all life's going to be. The company we mix with is as important as faith can be imparted, just as much as fear and negativism. Let's choose to be full of faith, hope, courage, resilience, tenacity and love. Then Ling passed me a booklet "More than Gold" which features 20 Olympic and world-class Christian athletes who excel in sports for the glory of God. That is what they live for, breathe for and suffer pain for...to glorify the name of Jesus!!! This will best complement the CD version that I bought b4 the Sydney Olympics season. Soon, I will share a couple quotes when I've gone thru' it. Meanwhile, gotta recuperate from the 5 hrs of hard planing...gym again tomorrow! Try to smile ok...

TGIF!!! I broke my usual lunch routine to the gym today. Phew!!! I'm giving myself an unofficial break...will pop by the gym after work instead. Somehow, I feel like having a food-court feast today...ordered chinese rice with lotsa stuff on it, sweet potato soup, teh-xi, 2 bananas & 1 papaya. I suspect it was y'day's 3 showers in a day that instictively make me want to stay in today. The storms were too much for me. I got showered the moment I came out of my shower after my workout. I had done some weights ex & hopped onto the stepper machine for some cardio. Juz as I dried slowly & almost painfully, by the office air-con did I get wet again from the pour after work. But I HAD to go, I was meeting Stephanie for dinner. We had a great time catching up...not restraining myself telling her any deepest matter in my mind even if it means only half an hour before Bible Study. I shared with her about my dilemma regarding my windsurfing stuff. As usual. In return, she saturated me with words of faith, hope and love. Better than the human sympathetic ear a thousand times. Somehow, God's spirit and words in the right season changes u...enlarges your vision and deepens your tenacity. It roots me in my vision, my calling and my destiny! The service was excellent, as is every other service. The worship brought tears to my eyes and strength to my heart. The song "Power of Your Love" gave a revelation that it is the LOVE of God = Power. The Power that enables me to soar with Him, into higher heights, bluer skies and greener pastures. Knowing HOW MUCH GOD LOVES ME is the empowerment to greater miracles and everything else. BANG!!! Pastor Prince continued with more Bang! He continued expounding on the Grace message and reminding us of the miracle wonders that happened last Thurs when the chijmes sang by themselves. Angels were with us literally. I strongly believed that one of them tripped over the musical instruments. aha! Tomorrow's my close 'sister's wedding at City Harvest Church. I've been grappling with the issue of marriage and babies. I've increasingly more friends who are getting and are married, some with kids, at 24 yrs old. *gasp* I love the idea of having a kid to chase around the house, a reason for me to start buying toys and playing with them, with my child of coz. The endowment of the most noble title "Domestic Engineer" would be sweet...I would wake up every morning to my child's 'adorable' cries for milk, later preparing breakfast for my dear hubby, see him off to work with my baby in my arms. Cook make-believe 'Tubby-Toast' with my child, cycle around the house and even make funny shapes with Play-doh. We can head down to the baby pool and frolick with the baby floats and rubber duckies. But! I've unfinished business at the moment...while all my friends are chasing the C dream and vying to be the No. 1 Rat, i'm still pursuing my lofty Olympic dream. Many of my friends who began with me in windsurfing have all dropped off and gone on to what they THINK as pragmatic and 'mature' aspirations. It seems to me that the Government has decided on our fates: 7 yrs old-- Primary 1; 13 yrs old--Sec 1 16 yrs old-- O levels; 18 yrs old--A levels 19 yrs old--University or National Service after which one works 5-6 days a week till he is 60 yrs old. It's time to withdraw that CPF. There's nothing new under the sun or anything unique to gaze upon. And when one deviates from this cycle of life, one rebels against the norms and people ask you 'how', 'why' and 'after that?' I often wondered about this phrase we see all too often on Quotable Quotes "What would you do if you knew if you could not fail?" We'd rather avoid answering that. What is most scary is not about not being able to fulfil one's dreams, but the lack of a dream. Hence, it is easiest to follow a set pattern as it is a 'PROVEN' path...trodden on and well cemented. The road less travelled would be avoided, ignored and mocked upon. Yet many agree that it is not the destination that matters as much as the Journey. If one travels on a commonly-travelled journey, one sees what the next person has seen, smelled and tasted. There is no variation nor anything new. Why settle for second best when you can have the best?! Go for it! I urge you...follow your heart...sometimes you need to leave your head behind for our thoughts have been conditioned to the set dimensions of society. God is calling men and women of this day to Pursue Him, His Presence and His Ways! Listen to your heart!

It's 5 p.m. My second posty for the day. Match-sticks under my eyelids now...ate lunch really late so the drowsiness is taking effect now while it's worn off in other people. How embarrassing! I've tried stuffing myself with tidbits, the prawn crackers and now the spicy tapioca I got off the vending machine in the wonderful, tummy-saving pantry. My abs (if there are any) are rioting now...kinda achy and not so keen to let out a habitual cough. It sends the ripples down...Anyway, just heard from Wanqi that there wasn't wind at the beach and hence, no training. Also heard from Chewy that there was a storm that never quite came yesterday, which I imagined a bunch of grown-ups chasing storm clouds but never got the groove. Phew! At least it wasn't that bad afterall, for me at least, the unable-to-sail-during-lunchtime-sailor. There's gonna be a department steamboat dinner for no apparent occasion tonite. I'm not going! Not that it's gonna upset my training plans but I do need to get down to typing my Olympic Campaign very very soon. I suspect someone injected general anaesthesia into me coz I'm feeling like I'm gonna faaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll assssssllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp. *slap slap* But anyway, I had a lousy time at the gym this afternoon. Not exactly lousy in terms of my training but the company was immature. There was a bunch of over-grown kids (possibly sec sch boys), overgrown in size (one was 6 foot 3, I'm pretty sure) and undergrown in thinking. They hogged the space and the weights, jammed up the audio airwaves (talking too loudly and all) and clogged up my mind. I do trainings on alternate days between the major muscle grps and the minor muscle grps. Today happened to be the major-but-not-that-major grp of muscles. I did some complex stuff with the barbell with 18 kgs (usually 20 kg) which is lighter than usual coz I tweaked my neck this morning. This complex thingy included squats, biceps, triceps, shoulders & forearms at the final haul. I hate it beyond description. Then I also concentrated on forearms with the 7.5 kg barbell, giving me the whine at the end of my 15 reps. Of coz there are the unforgettable abs ex, ankle raises for a sexy-look on the calves and obliques ex. I hanged myself literally too...with my hands of coz, to stretch and strengthen my lower back. Then off I went to buy a new bottle of moisturizer and chicken chop kuay teow. I feel more and more focused every single day. Every trial there is strengthens me, are as food for my nourishment. The obstacles laid along my Olympic route boosted my hunger and cemented the desire. It makes me come to terms as to HOW MUCH I want it and HOW HUNGRY i want to be. The underdog is where I want to be, says Christoph Sieber (the Sydney Olympics Gold medallist). That's where I want to be too...a place where I would not over-stress myself unduly nor place the world's weight upon my shoulders. I'm not Hercules eh. Meanwhile, I'm one day nearer to the fulfillment of my dream and when that day comes...I hope it comes! aha!

It's raining cats & dogs now...and it's only 10:15 a.m. It's a sign that the long-awaited NE Monsoon is biding near...time for the boardshorts & lycras to arise from their rest in the wardrobes. Suddenly, there are many 'full-time' sailors at the beach...where the wind is, they shall be. While they are happily sailing in the seas, I'm pumping iron in the claustrophobic gym during lunch-time. That's the best I can do, given my limited resources. This morning's MRT ride was one of the very unpleasant ones I experience periodically. There was this Indian man seated next to me, dressed unkemptly in a football jersey that's so old, there are bubbles on the sleeves. He was of course, unshaven and totally oblivious to social graces. He was reading his copy of Streats, so was I and my neighbour to my right. There should not be a battle for elbow space as long as one is zi dong enough not to spread the newspapers out to the maximum. Apparently, he did not. To add pain to my neck, which I was sure was sustained in my untidy sleeping posture the night before, there appeared to be something else sticking out in between his legs because his leg space intruded into mine. I instinctively inched away from him, elbows, legs and every part of the body that belonged to me. I had to snug close to my female neighbour to my right, hoping she doesn't mind the unwelcome warmth. As if I wasn't irritated enough, he was clearing his throat every one minute, making sure everyone in the carriage, and maybe the next, would be forewarned of his presence in the train. The clearing-throat action was not the usual soft, embarrassed sort but almost in a magnified tone enough to knit my brows further. Not to mention that he was soon nodding in his sleep, and increasing his leg-space dominance. I had nowhere to put my legs! I was concerned that I was soon to be spotted with a Uni-brow as I was getting increasingly irritated. Then...he started coughing!!!! I had my last straw...I got up from my seat, content to stand through and receiving sympathetic glares from fellow ladies commuters who noticed my uncomfortableness. My morning adventure...not the least exciting...

MORE THAN GOLD...just decided on the title for my Olympic Campaign...this shall be the title to carry the whole thing thru' Woke up to a revelation that I was late for work...terribly. To say I rushed through is insufficient, I literally flew through my tasks & the next thing I knew was that I was in a blue cab...I 'awoke' in a sedated consciousness to find the horrendous, unworthy bill of $22 for this ride that's cripped by traffic jams. I ran through my mind how to argue myself out of the bill and how I should attack a cabby in the most gentle way. I paid up anyhow. aha! I mumbled to myself how I should really move out of my house and how I will never take a cab again! Time flew at work & now, I'm sitting here, musing over the philosophical stuff of life... "It's not about the Bike"...a quote from Lance Armstrong...the man who won the Tour De France twice, the second time after he lauched a brilliant bounce-back from testicular cancer. Brilliance is probably an insult for not only is it a show of courage, maturity, strength, resilience, focus and belief, it is also a performance of the triumph of a vulnerable human being against the darts of the devil. I can't say that he triumphed with the faith of a believer neither can I understate his amazing human resilience. As much as I wish that he could give all the glory to Jesus, proclaim His wonderful name and pursue His wonderful presence, I'm undeniably touched and moved by his being. His best moment in life was not on the bike, as he said, breasting the finish tape at the Tour, but it was that sacred moment of the birth of his son. It made the Tour seem so small, says the Winner. There are many many instances in a day that can make the greatest success seem so small...the birth of a child, the blossoming of a flower, the rising of the sun, the yawn of your newborn, a boy's joy with his first bicycle and even your little girl's first rough drawing saying 'i luv u'. Very often one gets distracted during the journey. Eyes fixed on the destination, he forgets to embrace the moment! Smell the flowers, hear the birds singing, say 'hi' to the uncle who sells chicken rice and even hide a love note in the jacket of your loved one. Forgetting to enjoy the moment is an insult to the Almighty God. That Life itself is not worthy to smile at, that there are no blessings coming along or that there's too much stress. More often than not, that stress is self-endowed. Only pride can do that. Let go & let God...God promises never to allow the righteous to be moved, AFTER one casts his burdens unto the Lord.

Alrite...waiting out for a Meeting to discuss stuff in the Singapore Open that's happening rite at the end of the year... However, meanwhile, I'm losing my groove as I'm thinking too much. Bogging myself down with 'what ifs' and 'but-s'. Sighz, as much as I'm keen to lighten my countenance, I juz can't find the strength to do so, and even if I do, it'll look reallie fake. Either that or people may think I have neural spasms on my face. So I'll juz pretend to be 'introspective' and 'deep' in thoughts. Previously, I mentioned I was in an emotional roller-coaster, now I'm not sure if it could be a hormones VS emotions battle or could it be spirit VS flesh battle. Whichever it may be, Psalms 55:22 says that "Cast your cares unto the Lord, He shall never allow the righteous to be moved." How it refreshens me like cold water to a weary soul. I've already finished one packet of Butter-coated Sunflower seeds and not really craving for more coz it takes its toll on the relevant fingers. My fingers will be fine by tomorrow for another sunflower seeds-attack. I'm not sure if this is the right way to diet as I did not feel hungry since my gym workout during lunch-time. Got to ciao...

Alrite...waiting out for a Meeting to discuss stuff in the Singapore Open that's happening rite at the end of the year... However, meanwhile, I'm losing my groove as I'm thinking too much. Bogging myself down with 'what ifs' and 'but-s'. Sighz, as much as I'm keen to lighten my countenance, I juz can't find the strength to do so, and even if I do, it'll look reallie fake. Either that or people may think I have neural spasms on my face. So I'll juz pretend to be 'introspective' and 'deep' in thoughts. Previously, I mentioned I was in an emotional roller-coaster, now I'm not sure if it could be a hormones VS emotions battle or could it be spirit VS flesh battle. Whichever it may be, Psalms 55:22 says that "Cast your cares unto the Lord, He shall never allow the righteous to be moved." How it refreshens me like cold water to a weary soul. I've already finished one packet of Butter-coated Sunflower seeds and not really craving for more coz it takes its toll on the relevant fingers. My fingers will be fine by tomorrow for another sunflower seeds-attack. I'm not sure if this is the right way to diet as I did not feel hungry since my gym workout during lunch-time. Got to ciao...

Reality bites! OUch!!!!! I won't be touching any sand for another 4 and a half days and for now, I gotta be content ogling at the foto-posters I made out of the Sydney Olympics. Christoph Siber (Austrian Gold medallist) & Alessandra Sensini (Italian Gold-medallist) are seated with me at my office cubicle, reminding me of the lofty, elusive Olympic Dream daily. I seem to be on an emotional roller-coaster rite now, tossing through and from Dream-state and Reality, not sure which is which occasionally. I think they are synonymous in the most basic meaning of the 2 words. Anything which can be visualised by the mind and eyes is tangible, hence Reality. The Bible says that 'blessed is he who walks and sees by faith, than by sight. Many times people live Reality in a dream-state. They float through life without truly living. This is an inferior lifestyle to living one's Dream in Reality, even though they are most likely the ones to be jeered and mocked at. To live or to be alive...a complex question as much as it is simple. As Hamlet said, "To be or not to be, THAT is the question." I had answered my own questions long ago, only to have someone snatching them away from me. I can't say that it doesn't affect me because it does. It hurt deeply. Now, some are questioning me the very questions that I've answered long ago and seeing MY answers on other people. Cheated and betrayed by my own kind? It's like some other kid in my neighbourhood taking my marbles away from my hand. As determined as I am in pursuing to manifest my answers in my own life, I am as determined to help that 'others' in their manifestation of their dream. I owe everything to Jesus and He lived His life for others, that they may live. I shall love my enemies and feed them bread. Shalom!!!! :)

1-4 knots, NE-E wind: Our long-awaited wait for the coachy has finally ended on a good note of relief. We had our very first session with him and I must say that I'm hopeful to a great extent. We didn't do solid super trg to burn our brains and arms out but enough for him to watch & catch us at our worst. Everyone was amazingly hardworking today! aha! We sailed from Bedok buoy to Keta and then to Padang, back to Bedok. I just wasn't warmed up enough nor pumping well on the reach in particular. i was in 3rd psn, slipping to last 3rd at the end of the leg. I was frustrated at how my pumps do not increase board speed and it appeared to be a waste of my strength. I let it go...tired, frustrated and hot! I experimented with my daggerboard but came out inconclusive.I didn't succeed in the wave-riding either. yikes!!!! Determined to do better in the next 'race', I came in 1st in the fleet of 8 in the next upwind from Bedok to the boat. I basically pumped my brains out, that's all...I think towards the end, I sorta closed my eyes and pumped, pumped pumped...It worked anyhow. I was very happy, frankly. This, is my best wind condition! Rather, no-wind condition. :))) When others can't seem to move, I can! ahahha...After that we were screaming for iced water and we did smuggle ourselves into ECSSC for rehydration. The debrief afterwards was very beneficial. I figure I should really improve tons under this man, certainly I really ought to think about how I can increase my water time in addition to wkend trgs. Meanwhile, wkday gym trgs should suffice. Arrggggggghhhhhhh!!! It's back to work again...and lifestyle as a vampire. It's amazing how quickly the wkends slip by, leaving me looking fwd for the next wkend to arrive. Nonetheless, it's back to routine in the office again...work work work...& to be among all the other TELE-tubbies in my company...Well, in case you think I'm terribly plump, purple and have an antenna up my head, nope! ESPN where I work is a sports channel so we are all teletubbies figuratively. Thank God I have some butter-coated sunflower seeds to keep me company b4 the wkends come, and still brooding over the gigantic Pooh bear which my team-mate did NOT buy in Shanghai. :P

Woke up to an overdose of caffeine I took the nite b4...at least, thankfully, i managed to sleep eventually. The marble cheesecake was still floating around in my tummy, as is the coffee. I can't believe how I can stretch time...I'm definitely late for first service in church (NEW CREATION CHURCH http://www.newcreation.org.sg) so I thought I'll go for the second. & I'm still sitting here typing up...Anyway, just penned an email to Yasuko, my Japanese windsurfer friend, telling her that I've ordered for her brand new equipment blah blah... also that I long to be Supergirl like her. aha! Anywayz, one article caught my eye in The Sunday Times today. Rather, one particular pix...that of a bikini-clad China-Chinese-'Singaporean' table tennis player in the Sports section. I thought I was seeing things. I wondered about how she has RE-defined sports and sports apparels to be this? There was an argument about how generally Singaporeans do not favour foreign talent representing SIN in major competitions. I belong to that group that's NOT supporting the idea of foreign talent. Basically because I also belong to the group of LOCAL talent, local meaning 'by birth' & not immigration, that desires to be developed and nurtured to world-class standards. How simple can my reasoning get? In fact, I felt ZILCH when I read about some of 'our' table tennis players reaching the semi-finals in the Sydney Olympics. Simply because I can't help but think that they are not 'Singaporean' though they may be Singaporeans legally. They are not very Singaporean in the way they speak nor behave, I think. Being 'Singaporean' means more than just living in Singapore, eating chicken rice and taking the MRT. It also means more than wanting to play table tennis...or for her case, wanting a medal or wanting to play table tennis?? She could continue to play table tennis back home but may not win medals, conversely true if she's 'Singaporean'. Is it a passion for the sport or a passion to pursue fame & $$? Think about it...we cannot rely on shortcuts forever, simply. My 2 cts for this morning...got to rush to church now and then to the beach...

Good wind...FINALLY! It's been a while since I had a chance to pull my mast track all the way back. Initially the wind was gusty and patchy...those sorts that I simply hate. It's like the type of wind where u think someone is holding on to the wind tap & turning it on and off...the sorts that suddenly increase by 5 kts and threaten to catapult u. Well, I got catapulted and slammed er, 3x or more...not as bad as my fren Ching whose catapult resulted in 2 broken battens & a broken ego. I was not much better, grunting most of the time as I climb back up on the board. Plus, it didn't help that my wkday gym trg always manifest on my first wkend windsurfing, not to mention the sudden shocks the gust give to my tight forearm muscles. I was cramping up a lot there. Thank God, the gusts dropped and the wind became more consistent throughout. It was blowing around 15 kts steadily. Boy was I enjoying myself by then...a bunch of us sailed up to Padang, broadreaching all the way, pulling through occasional patches of lulls. Soon u will be able to predict when the lulls come and quickly open up your sail & get yr feet off the foot-straps. We did that twice till we launched a 'search & rescue' mission for a 'missing' team-mate. We realised that he's been missing since the storm. Ben & Harold went off searching towards the easterly direction & I headed towards the ships, half expecting to find him stuck under a ship's hull or anchor-line. Nah, I was actually worried sick for him. I prayed for his protection and hoping NOT to find a mangled mess of flesh, sail, mast & foam. Later I found out he's actually gone back to shore to drink water. I was fuming mad plus relieved all at the same time. There goes our training & the wind...the wind died as I was searching & I ended up at PA ordering new sets of MOD equipment for the Japanese sailors. How convenient, I thought! This Jap friend of mine is a Supergirl, as I call her. One of the rare windsurfers who bother to pen out emails and share her goings-on etc...Back to my 'training', the wind died, expectedly...to a 0 kt or less...ahaha... However, I was feeling more than satisfied with the planing and good sailing I did. I could hold off the big boys in the winds and not letting some of them catch up with me. I was sheeting in nicely and reacted well to the lulls without slowing down too much. Those old long harness lines helped a great deal, as did the new postions I placed the upwind footstraps. I reached the upwind Mark, Keta buoy 3rd among the 6 of us and maintained this psn as we hit Padang buoy in a straight reach. I tried to minimise the bouncing but couldn't. I will have to figure that out later. Also, I thought my harness lines outta be further back in the stronger winds but din have the time to fix it. Coz 90% of the days we have reallie light winds so my equipment is set to light wind conditions. Of coz, my sail was too full initially for the gusty conditions even when I pulled tight everything possible. Overall, I was happy with the free n' easy session today as I felt much stronger. My gym trgs r manifesting good results, despite the initial cramps. I could still pull off 4 chin-ups after that...which was quite a record for me! ahahaha...i'm indeed very motivated to focus on my physical trg as it makes so much difference to my endurance. Not to mention my diet's got to work or I'll sink very soon even with a life-jac on. Looking forward to tomorrow's session as we are meeting our chinese coachy for the first time. Either his English improves or our mandarin...aha! Hope he can formulate a good physical training program for me to work on in the weekdays so I can make full use of the wkend water trainings. Minus the typical chinese mentality of work and life, I would suck every piece of windsurfing knowledge out of him. I hope coachy & sailors can click well, on and off water. I certainly do not look forward to the regimental way of training in China where you sail coz it's better than working in the farm or that your family cannot afford to upkeep another child. The politics and sociology of sports...arghhh...I'd rather not expound on this for it'll take more than a thesis. Meanwhile, I'm suspecting that my toes are hurting a little...ouch! More later... &

Just been reading about Barbara kendall & Teddy Huang's adventures. To say that I was fuelled and fired up is an understatement. I'm stoked juz reading and imagining. I would usually be tired out after a hard week's at work. Somehow, passion and energy can be so easily bounced off & rubbed off, from one shoulder to the next. Words indeed allow one to climb into one's skin & walk around in it. Not to mention the feeling of overwhelming excitement, as if I'm sailing with them & hovering in spirit-form. My heart is indeed overwhelmed. I had longed to be able to post lotsa race reports like barb can. However, it's not always easy when I have only such limited race experience, where the no. of overseas races can be counted easily between my 2 hands. It would seem almost embarrassing to write anything about my training sessions or post my innermost thoughts. Yet, it came to my mind that no one's too insignificant to be ignored, no dream too small, no question too dumb, no effort too little. Went to work today with a heart full of joy and expectations. My heart was basically overflowing with the knowing that "I can really do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me". This reminds me of an ad that I saw, "What will you do if you know that you cannot possibly fail in?" I automatically started thinking of the things I want to do, or think I CAN do. There are so many things to look forward to if one tries to find it. I looked forward to luncheon with one of my windsurfing gals, Wanqi. We had a simple lunchy, laffing and poring over the fotos that I just collected. My prized possessions from the Sydney Olympics. I was basically trigger-happy over 13 rolls of films. Blew up classic shots of Olympic windsurfers to decorate my room and office. Pictures tell a million words, at least, words that would be incapable of explaining what I felt in those times. My best moment, as I reminisce, was during the Prize-Giving Ceremony, held in front of the beautiful Opera House at Circular Quay. As the National anthems played, the flags climbed steadily up the poles, the winners on the podium awe-struck and the audience inundated in the reality of it, I felt that THIS is indeed, THE one moment in time. THIS is what the Olympics is all about. THIS is more than an everlasting memory ingrained in me. Notwithstanding the Olympic hype and celebration, the impact of the meaning of the Games hit me more than a 100 kt typhoon. The winners must be feeling a myriad of feelings: joy indescribable, numbness, relief and unbelief. Yet others pained by a dream unfulfilled, others elated beyond description. It must have been more than a combination of these feelings. Years of physical abuse, commitment, sacrifice, effort, concentration and work cannot be narrowed to a single feeling. It must have been more than this. It is a sacred time for the winners to celebrate, with millions others, how their sweat & tears translate into such a glorious moment. It is a time to celebrate why they raced, who they raced for and who they are. It is too easy to be there and cheer along...and dismiss the non-medallists off as purely non-medallists, few know the sacrifices they went through to be where they are, and the pain they endured to pursue their passion & dream. Few heard their cries of hopelessness and fear and few dried their tears. Probably no one has felt their most intense pain gnawing on the inside of them as they feel the medal slipping by, and dreams remaining elusive.